The venerable Mayo Clinic has provided a handy tool online for rating your stress assessment. There are just a few easy questions to answer. At the end you’ll receive a rating of low, moderate or high and some suggestions on how to cope.
Forty Experts Talk About Employee Engagement ONLNE!!!
QUIT but STAYED? Employee Engagement livecast!!! Over 5000 people registered for the Blanchard Livecast on Jan 25—I’m one of 40 thought leaders presenting, check it out ow.ly/8zw5x #quitandstay
It is a brainchild of The Blanchard Companies and promises to be a rich endeavor. So rich, you will probably want to have access to the downloads.
Would love to know what you think.
I Am A Top5 Speaker Honoree For 2012
I’ve just been notified by Speakers Platform that I have been awarded the Top5 Speaker designation in Team Building /
Leadership for the second year in a row! Each year, Speakers Platform recognizes five speakers within fifteen popular topic areas. Recognition of excellence in speaking is based on: expertise, professionalism, client testimonials & references, presentation skills, original contribution to the field and public votes received at the Speaking.com Web site. I appreciate everyone who voted for me and I thank Speakers Platform for the award!
Life Is Either A Daring Adventure Or It Is Nothing At All
At age almost 96 and on hospice, mom moves up and down like a roller coaster. We call her YoYoMa, one of our ways of staying sane when our hearts are so heavy.
Yesterday morning, she would not open her eyes or acknowledge I was there. But in the afternoon, when I returned to see her before heading out of town, her little blue eyes were bright and she said, “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat. I’ll buy!”
“Wow, Mom. OK, what would you like?”
“Food. To get out of here.”
“Ok. Mom. I am on it.”
I asked our care manager to get the print menu from the assisted living dining room. Mom is totally paralyzed on her left side and unless I had a van with a wheel chair lift, mom was going nowhere. The benefit of Alzheimer’s is that she can’t remember any of this.
“So, Mom, while we are waiting for a menu, let me tell you about where I am going.”
She snuggled down, closed her eyes and listened as I described The Center for Spiritual Renewal in Santa Barbara and the old house where I would retreat for a few days. She then blurted out, “OK. I’ll go with you. Let’s have an adventure. Let’s be daring.”
I blinked hard to keep tears from spilling down my face. Indeed, this is the legacy that Mom always intended to leave us: to have an adventure; to be daring. It’s what called her to medical school when there were only 3 other women, it’s what called her to hop in a plane and fly with the Women’s Air Force Service Pilots in WWII. It’s the same daring that could turn the howling wind of a hurricane into an adventure as we gathered in the center of the house, far away from the picture windows and told stories by candlelight. It’s the same daring that helped her pick up the remnants of her life and re-enter the job market in her mid 50s.
“Mom, how about a peanut butter and jelly? Or some ham/bean soup that my Bill made?”
“Do you know where the restaurant is?” she asked.
“I do, Mom. Let’s get some clothes on you and into your chair. We’ll head out to the Bistro.”
When we went through the locked doors, it didn’t register to Mom that we had not left the building but rather gone over to an alcove with 3 tables and a little bar-type setting.
“Great,” said Mom, “We’re at the bar.”
She looked around and marveled that there were no people in the “restaurant”. She didn’t hesitate or question the two teaspoons she ate of Bill’s soup or the tiny bite of peanut butter and strawberry jelly on toast.
“Mom, thanks for taking me to lunch. Shall we split some ice cream for dessert? Susan will be along shortly and join us.”
Our wonderful care manager had made vanilla ice cream appear as if by magic and Mom ate a few spoons with relish. My sister Susan was coming to take my place so I could leave. I had called her and gave her a heads up that we were “dining out”.
Susan appeared as if on cue and reached down to hug Mom.
“Do you have my wallet?” asked Mom.
“Indeed, I do, Mom. I will pay the hostess when I go out. Thanks again for lunch, Mom. It was great!”
I left Mom happily looking at Susan and offering her ice cream with her one good hand. It was great. It was grand. For her, getting out of bed and eating was daring—even if she didn’t know it.
She’s back down again now. YoYoMa. Yet she also gave me my new year’s direction: Be daring. Have an adventure.
From The Mountain – Resiliency Insights for 2012
I am on retreat at my wonderful spiritual center that crouches at the base of a mountain range towering over Montecito, CA and the distant Channel Islands. Every year, I make a self-pilgrimage to the top of El Cielo. It’s a 4.3 mile hike from the center to the ridge line.
This is my 16th year to begin my silence with this hike. In 1996 I started the hike because I was terrified to do it. Now I do it to prove to myself that I still can! Each year, it offers new challenges. The first hour is beside San Ysidro creek, the path stays pretty wide and the walk uphill has few boulders. But it’s cool under the shelter of coastal oaks. However, turn away from the creek and the trail narrows into steep switchbacks. This has to be the hottest January on record. A blazing sun sears my jeans and jean shirt. I yearn for shorts and a lighter weight top. My legs feel heavier with each steps. My head pounds. What lessons will the mountain offer today?
I come away with three:
1. To reach any goal, it always takes longer than you think it should. I swear each year they move the mountain top. My pace is better than in early years but my legs ache. But I am determined to reach the top. Just like I am determined to write the next book, to create new programs, to clean my office. You know the drill. I must build in extra time because it will always take longer.
2. Most people turn back when the “heat” is on. I realize that the only people I encounter are stopped at the upper most waterfall that because of a pitiful rainy season, is nothing more than a trickle. They miss the panorama of a Pacific ocean, flat and glassy, the Santa Barbara skyline and Ventura to the South. I was not prepared for the heat. There’s a lesson right there!
3. Keep your eye on the right mountain. I almost turn back. I am so hot and aching. The ridge line seems so far away. Two more switchbacks and I realize I have been staring at the wrong peak. Might be someone else’s goal but it is not mine. Wow. Where am I trying to climb someone else’s mountain and not mine?
So now, showered and tired, I will allow myself the luxury of a nap. A reward. What will you do to reward yourself this year when you climb your mountain?
STEP UP in 2012: YOU MATTER!
My colleague, Dr. John Izzo, has given the world a great gift for the new year: a marvelous new book for everyone who is tired of waiting for Congress to fix things, for world leaders who are clueless, and for organizations that don’t understand how to impact people and communities.
Stepping Up-How Taking Responsibility Changes Everything brings you ordinary people who just plain decided to step up and BE the change they wanted to see. Don’t take my word for it. See small inspiring videos that might just galvanize you into action for this year.
You can find the book on Amazon in both paperback as well as Kindle. And while you are at it– how about gifting folks with these inspirational models. It beats following the Iowa primaries any day!
Seasonal Stress Stretches Resiliency
Maybe it was the hot water pipe that burst in the foundation that started the meltdown. Even as I write this, the wood floor in the kitchen, dining room and den is being splintered and thrown into the jaws of a construction bin. The walls and ceiling have huge holes in them and a HAZMAT team came searching for mold. The living room is an obstacle course from the pantry and closets. The refrigerator is in the garage and latest date for completion “might” be Dec.23.
OK, so the first Christmas was in a stable. But the holy family wasn’t expecting families from Boston, Oregon, and Los Angeles who would seek a bed as well as food.
Maybe it was compounded by my laser printer dying and discovering, after I bought a replacement, that not all printers will work well with a MAC. The anxiety level ratcheted upward when my I-phone then died and I discovered someone had hacked my user ID and password. An hour’s worth of AppleCare finally fixed the problem but not before I found myself crying to the technician. Of course, I had already screamed at the switchboard for Hospice of the West because I needed help with my Mom. (Little did I know a nurse had come in the back door while I was waiting at the front door. I had to call back and apologize.)
Few presents have been bought, ornaments remain in the garage eves, and I am definitely not a “jolly old soul”.
Bet you have been there too!
Time for me to take a dose of my own medicine.
Here’s the prescription I am taking:
(1) Give up the illusion of control. My “illusion” is that I can make it all better. I cannot. So the question becomes: of what of this can I control? I can move household items into boxes. I can clean other rooms of my house. I can learn how to eat with chopsticks. I can slow down before I pounce. I can relish whatever time I have with Mom and focus on the moment.
(2) Ask for help. My neighbor has volunteered her home that will be empty over Christmas. My MAC buddies can give me advice about printers. (Duh-I should have asked them first. No, I “pounced”.) I will ask my relatives to wash their own dishes.
(3) Reframe the situation. As my husband says, “this will be an adventure.” He’s right. Who knows what lurks around the bend? Why not ask what wonderful surprises there might be? Maybe we can make a game of “who can find the can of soup?”
(4) Help someone else. When Mom is in a state that I can’t get her in a wheelchair to hear the music she loves, I will join the other residents and lead them in song. I did this and felt a wonderful peace in the process. It is about “doing what you can do”. I loved it. And from the looks on faces, they loved it to.
(5) Be grateful. How can I forget this! I have a roof over my head. I have an insurance policy. I have neighbors. I have a good place for Mom. I have loving caregivers. I have glorious family and friends. And yes, I can still sing.
My hope for this season—amid the chaos—is that I might find it WONDER-FILLED and resilient in the end.
BOLD LEADERS SPEAK UP
When gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people don’t feel safe and valued at work, productivity goes down, and organizations fail in their efforts to attract and retain the best and brightest talent. Many organizations realize this, and have created clear policies on the issues. But in order for the climate to change, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people need allies to speak up.
This is a very thoughtful, balanced resource that merits much attention… an important film on an issue so few of us understand how to address in the work environment. It is one thing to have a skill set in referencing and working with race or religion. It is quite another challenge to talk about gender and sexual orientation.
I have an obvious personal motivation to be an ally: my twin brother is a gay man. I also know two more things from knowing him. The first is that sexual orientation like gender orientation is not a “preference” or choice. The second is that my brother has been a compassionate, effective and even beloved scholar-teacher at the university where he works – but only because he has been fortunate to find the allies in his work community that have supported him in being wholly himself.
My professional motivation in commending Brian McNaught’s film is that I recognize, despite my personal commitment, I know that I have a lot to learn about how to be a skillful and effective ally. This film would be helpful to any one who wants to help create a work environment where every employee can flourish because they do not have to expend the energy trying to maintain a firewall between their family/personal lives and their professional lives. These are things that those of us who are heterosexual simply do not have to worry about.
Look at this video. Celebrate what everyone, when respected, can bring to your world. Here’s the link: Anyone Can Be An Ally
Speakers Platform Top5 Speaker Nomination
Speakers Platform has just announced our “Top5 Speaker” nominations for 2012 and I am one of the nominees in the Team Building/ Leadership category. This is the category that I won this year.
Each year Speakers Platform recognizes five speakers within ten popular topic areas. Recognition of excellence in speaking is based on: expertise, professionalism, innovation within the topic area, client testimonials and references, presentation skills and online votes.
Feel free to visit the voting page and register a vote for me at http://www.speaking.com/top5.
Turkey Trot Humor Brings a Message for Resilient Living
When I laced up my running shoes and headed down to Dana Point Harbor on Thanksgiving morning, I did experience a twinge of regret.
No Thanksgiving at my house. A broken hot water pipe under the floor of my kitchen and dining room had turned my gorgeous wood floor into splinters. Restoration crews had already yanked out my cabinets and an environmental team was scheduled to show up the next day to break into walls and determine mold damage. AAARGH!
But as the sun rose over the mountains and broke into the cloudy morning, I thought about my assistant, Francesca, and having her first Thanksgiving without her younger sister who died in her sleep just weeks earlier.
I remembered that I was running in this race with 10,000+ people to raise money for FEED America.
I remembered 2 years ago when I ran in pouring cold rain and thought I would never complete the course.
I remembered that I had just paid all my bills and whispered a word of gratitude that there was still some money left in the bank.
But it was the runners themselves who surrounded me and just made me laugh. One runner wore a complete turkey outfit. Her companion wore an apron and a big chef’s hat and carried a turkey baster so she could constantly spurt water at her friend, “the Turkey”. I saw many felt turkey carcasses on the tops of people’s heads. There were people dressed like elves and Santas, reindeer and rap stars. It seemed to me that there were more costumes this year than ever before. I think an economic crisis has all of us looking for something that can make us laugh. Laughter is indeed one of the hallmarks of resiliency.
Here are just some of the pictures: a father and his 2 daughters running as the Indians from the 1st Thanksgiving. The next 3 men came as mustard, ketchup, and a hot dog. I can’t believe they actually ran in costume the entire time. And of course, I’m not quite sure what this man had on his mind with his get-up. I think it was called “throw it all together”.
Strangers waved to each other and shouted happy Thanksgiving. Bystanders hollered “Run, Turkey, run!” Babies waved their arms from jogging strollers. And as I crossed the finish line, an active-duty Marine put a medal around my neck and I was able to shake his hand and say, “thanks for your service.” Wow! What a day.
P.S. One of my best friends, Cindy Bright, added us to her 19 person Thanksgiving dinner and that made me laugh: 8 of those folks were children with incredible sense of humor, great wit, ready conversation. Now let us remember that too many children the rest of the days of the year still go hungry. I think I should run a Turkey trot every day. How about you?
