UGH… Bone head move! (Of course, what does this say about his parents who surely took him to the event!??

This past weekend, after a 30 year-absence from Broadway, Cicely Tyson walked away as the Best Leading Actress for her role in A Trip to the Bountiful.

Wow. Talk about persistence. Talk about resiliency.  The other word: patience. She WAITED until she found a  theater role that matched her skill and deep interest. Broadway demands great stamina– live productions, night after night, multiple times in a day. Cicely turns 80 this coming December!

Cicely, I salute your achievement. You are a model of three critical resilience traits: staying power, stamina, and soulfulness.

A year before this ceremony, my stepmother held a similar flag and wept at Dad’s funeral. He served in WWII and the Korean War and had life been different, would have been a career soldier. He loved the flag.

Today, young Josh is in Afghanistan, flying his Air Force jet as he tries to protect troops withdrawing from this confusing, conflicted country. He has already lost members of his squad and wonders if those of us at home even know what he is doing.

In years to come, far too many wounded warriors will struggle with loss of limbs, PTSD, and difficult employment opportunities.

The past. The present. The future.

Mom and Dad were taken care of and supported. For Josh and our wounded warriors – we owe them more than a parade and a medal. In any budget considerations, social services, and assistance, these men and women must come first in all decisions. Look into what donations you can make. I am taken with Fisher House Foundation which provides housing to military families as they receive medical treatment.

To all my brothers and sisters in uniform: thank you!!!

P.S. Check any non-profit through Charity Navigator to find organizations you can trust. (We want money to go to the right purpose and not into large salaries!)

Dear Eileen,

I’m writing to enlist your help for Mery Daniel, one of the survivors of the horrible attack in Boston.

The moment I heard about the tragedy at the marathon, I was struck by the volume of amputations as a result of the bombing and I knew I had to help.  I reached out to my contact network, and the response was overwhelming.  Within a week, I was invited to visit both Mass General Hospital and the Spaulding Rehabilitation Center to provide whatever assistance I could.  I met some extraordinary people, and really feel like I was able to make a positive impact on everyone I was able to see.  The good news is that most of the victims were able to rally an amazing amount of support – both emotionally and financially – to help get them through this ordeal.

This is not the only news, however.  One of the amputees, Mery, is clearly behind the curve in getting the support she needs.  Mery doesn’t have many resources to draw on, has no private health insurance, and isn’t very savvy about how the system works.  While others were raising hundreds of thousands of dollars and doing national media interviews, Mery didn’t even know what her options were. Mery lost her left leg above the knee, and her right leg is severely damaged.  Among other things, she will have to relocate from her walk-up apartment, get extra support in caring for her five-year-old daughter, and will need a lot of help to pay for her continuing hospital bills, rehab, prosthetics, and more.  I immediately felt, as another African-American, I needed to rally a support team to help give her the opportunities she deserves.  I have contacted some of my media friends to get her some publicity, and have just begun a fund raising campaign.

I sincerely hope you can help me help this lovely woman.  Mery has a bright smile, and a warm, wonderful personality.  I’m happy to report that, after three weeks, she was able to stand and take her first steps with a walker. She was SO excited!  All of us on “Team Mery” cheered for her!   We know Mery’s life will never be the same, but we can come together as a community to create the best possible future for her.  Please join us in our goal of raising $500,000 at: http://www.gofundme.com/merydaniel

This past weekend, Asia Minor (now Turkey) beckoned—and we didn’t need our passports. For the fourth year at the Orange County Fairgrounds, one could step back in time and experience the amazing history and diversity of a land bordered by the Black Sea to the north, the Mediterranean to the south, and the Aegean Sea to the West.

We entered the festival area through the “Civilizations Path”, which consists of 14 gates each representing different civilizations like The Hittite Empire, The Kingdom of Commagene, Lydia, The Persian Empire, The Urartu State (Armenians), The Phrygia, The Ionian Civilization,The Assyria, Troy, The Roman Empire,The Byzantine Empire, The Great Seljuq Empire, The Ottoman Empire, and Turkish Republic. Anatolia has been a cradle for all these and many other civilizations throughout the history. At each gate, actors wearing authentic costumes of each civilization welcomed us.

Three dimensional giant-sized replicas of five different cities of Anatolia (Istanbul, Konya, Mardin, Van, Izmir, Gaziantep, Adiyaman and Kilis) and the Grand Bazaar of Istanbul were assembled with panoramic backgrounds. Artisans traveling from Turkey displayed and demonstrated many traditional handicrafts like hand-woven carpets, the arts of water marbling, calligraphy, stone-carving and filigree during the four-day festival.

The replica of the Grand Bazaar of Istanbul housed more than 120 booths with food, handcrafts, souvenirs, and art exhibits. Had we wanted to, we could have freshened ourselves up with a cup of Turkish coffee or several glasses of tea at another busy spot of the festival area, named after The Traditional Coffeehouse. Just like the real Grand Bazaar, we watched artisans displaying hand-made jewelry, scarves, lucky charms and hand-woven carpet displays accompanied by the Anatolian hospitality.

For us, sampling food was a treat. We split everything to share the tastes: a spicy beef kebab, and doner (Gyros), stuffed grape leaves, stuffed peppers, some thin pastry stuffed with pistachios, and my favorite: sticky ice cream.  A long steel pike and plenty of muscle helped the ice cream showman pull this tough, stretchy Maras’s ice-cream from a barrel.  I put out my hand to take the cone and that quick, he flipped it upside down and handed me an empty cone while the sticky cream stayed balled up on the pike. It was a combination of magic, good humor, and skill. Yes—also pretty tasty, too.

Under a hot Southern California sun, dancers in multilayers of colored ethnic garb kicked and hopped and swirled before a backdrop of the Bosporus, in the courtyard of the Topaki Palace, and in the amphitheater at Ephesus.

What we need to understand as women is that there will be many obstacles to achieving your goals. Our reality is that we are in a male-dominated world, but I believe women will rise as we continue to reveal our value.  So often, women leave the workforce because of the difficulty with balancing personal and professional lives.  Being in the corner office, Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps or Female Infantry Officer may not be for everyone.

No matter what you decide, there is no right or wrong answer and I certainly don’t have all the answers.  Serving in the military taught me a number of skills that have been essential to my success since I reentered the civilian world — and contain valuable lessons for other women. In order to be successful in whatever you decide, below are a few tips that I would like to share with you that have helped me.

Be Confident

Women tend to look at things differently than men and often we second-guess ourselves. We don’t give credit to ourselves when credit is due. You deserve your success. Create ownership of success and understand your own success. Believe in yourself!

Don’t just talk about it, be about it!

Your ideas and concepts are valuable. Speak up. Sometimes you will have good ideas and other times you will not. Keep your hand up! You will never know what opportunities can come to you if you do not get out of your comfort zone.

Create a level playing field.

Juggling home and work is difficult. Choose a partner who will support your ambitions and will do their part with the kids. Often women are the ones sacrificing for their partner.  Making equal contributions is key to a successful relationship, family life and career.

Develop emotional intelligence

We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we’re in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we’re not offended or upset. They’re caring and considerate, and even if we don’t find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don’t get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They’re excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they’re usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance.

People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EI. They know themselves very well, and they’re also able to sense the emotional needs of others.

As this journey continues, I am looking forward to sharing my obstacles and experiences with you to assist with your growth and opportunity!

You can reach Jenna at:    Lady Leatherneck and Twitter: @jenna_lombardo1

So often, the military small unit leadership has turned a blind eye to sexual harassment and sexual assaults.  It is only until recently that action is being taken due to the high-ranking incidents that have occurred.  Each branch of service has come out with its own method of prevention training.

In my opinion, this training is senseless if the leaders who instruct these courses and the students within do not have respect for their female counterparts to begin with.  Prevention needs to start with women who stand up for themselves and chose to start a ripple effect. One in three women experiences sexual assault during their military career and very rarely are these incidents dealt with.

I am not suggesting that every experience that you encounter should be dealt with by complaining to your chain of command, but as women, we need to put an end to the behavior of men who attempt to take advantage of women and create a foundation for young ladies who come into the military force after us.

Women are not fragile or submissive; it is time we stand up for ourselves and for our sisters in arms.

(1) Talk to the person directly

When the initial sexual harassment incident takes place, ask the person harassing you to stop. If your harasser continues displaying the same behavior, inform your harasser that you plan to file a report if the behavior continues. Some people discontinue their behavior once you threaten to report them. If the harasser fails to stop, you can take further action.

Particularly, when I have been firm and obviously not interested in their behavior, it deters them from saying or making any gestures toward me.

(2) Find other victims and witnesses

Search for other victims of sexual harassment by your harasser. You may find that some other victims have filed complaints in the past. Secure the testimony of any witnesses of your incidents in writing. This helps support your claim.

This was particularly helpful for me when I first entered the Marine Corps. I had encountered an instructor in my MOS school who was harassing other young women (E-1/E-2). This instructor made his way to me and said some VERY inappropriate things to me and then began to stalk me. It felt wrong, but I was naïve. I spoke to other women who felt the same and I was the ONE who spoke up and in the end, he was held accountable and eventually court martialed and kicked out.

(3) Inform Your Supervisor

If talking to your harasser did not stop the harassing behavior, report all incidents to your immediate supervisor. Ask your supervisor for a meeting to explain the situation in person.

The reality is that sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.  However, do not give up.  If your immediate supervisor overlooks it, than that is a leadership failure.  Stand your ground and make sure that you are not mistreated in that manner again.

YOU ARE VALUABLE. Don’t let anyone make you think or feel that your intuition is wrong.

I encountered Jenna Lombardo through her story posted on Sheryl Sandberg’s LEAN IN site.

Given the current details of increased sexual harassment and assaults on women within the military, I wanted to find out more about this amazing woman.

Over coffee at a local Pain du Monde, this gorgeous woman spoke about how she realized there were few other women she could turn to for advice and support.

Today, as a former Marine, mother, a Marine wife, student and philanthropist her response has been to create a support group called Lady Leatherneck. Through Lady Leatherneck, her goal is to bring a community of military women together through shared experiences, to counsel, and to mentor and inspire one another.

In my next blog, I have asked Jenna for advice on how to handle sexual harassment.

A neuroscientist, a social financier, a theoretical  physicist, a technologist,  a publisher  and a young genius in science were filmed in responding to the question, “What will the next 50 years be like.  Watch Dare to Imagine  and allow yourself to consider how individual ideas and collective intelligence can begin to solve the huge problems of our globe: lack of clean water, poverty, pollution, social injustice. And more.

From one we can become many.  What do you think?

“Wait,” I laughed. “One person at a time.”

“We’re on a birthday party scavenger hunt,” squealed the smallest one who also seemed to command more authority than her size projected. (As the runt of the litter in my family, I loved it!)

“What do you need?” I asked.

Turned out they all were on the same team. The smallest girl held the master list of what items remained.

“Spool of thread.”  Check:  I found an orange spool from some long forgotten Halloween costume.

“A bar of hotel soap.” Nope. We used it all up.

“A packet of seed.”  Check. My husband raced to the garage and came back with herbs as seeds.

“A balloon.”  Nope. Now that the kids are older, I just didn’t have that in the toy box any more.

“A grocery store receipt.” Check.  I told the girls they would love me because few people keep grocery receipts.

Two “nopes” and three “checks”.  Not bad. The girls raced off for the missing balloon and the hotel soap.

Late that night, I thought about the scavenger hunt and resiliency. There are parallels. When life hands us “something” to deal with, the most adaptable among us look for many answers.  It requires a willingness to ask for help.  Sometimes, we must ask strangers.

When one request doesn’t work, move on. “Next” becomes a mantra.

Lastly, don’t go alone if you can help it.  Find people who care about you, who have possibly been in that situation, and who also have a sense of positive expectancy.

A scavenger is one who removes garbage from the street. In like manner, the scavenger hunt as I described above is to seek help getting rid of what might feel like garbage in your life.

If you’re in this place, start ringing some door bells.