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  • Eileen McDargh

It Takes Courage To Ask For Help



Pam cried into the phone, depressed, sad, and exhausted from caring for her husband with Lewy Bodies. John stares blankly into space, can’t stand on his own, can’t take a shower or go to the bathroom on his own, and now can’t remember how to hold utensils.

Both are in their 80s, have no friends close by and the nearest child about two hours away. If John falls, Pam can’t get him up. And if she falls, John has no idea how to call for help.


Seems like a pretty clear-cut scenario for a move to a facility.


It's not that easy. Pam says she’s always been a fighter having been born six-weeks premature and surviving the bombing of London in WWII. “I just can’t do that to John,” she insists. “I MUST be strong enough to handle that,” she weeps into the phone.


Here’s the point. Often our self-image holds us back from asking for help, from admitting that we can’t do it all. No amount of persuasion will influence Pam and eventually, it might be too late.


What is a logical next step to me is defeat in her mind. As frustrating and maddening it is to listen to Pam, I understand that she is the only one who can remedy the situation if she so chooses.


What do you think? Are there times when your self-image refuses to admit that you’ve run out of options? Or to admit that the best course of valor might be to asking for help?


This sure has me thinking. I need to step back and see when my pride might keep me back from asking for help. Yes—it takes courage.

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