The Energizer

Resilient Insights for Work & Life

It’s Not What You Say

by Eileen McDargh, Chief Energy Officer - Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Featured Image

Given the vitriol that has swarmed around the hearing to confirm Judge Kavanaugh, at face value, it does appear that words matter. Name calling, slurs, accusations are all examples of words that have been slung like daggers at the opposition.

But I’d like you to consider a very important point. It was HOW the words were said that created visceral emotions. Tone, intensity, breath, and volume all conspire to push words into another dimension. In fact, this is why texts and social media posts are often so misconstrued and sometimes dangerous. We get our real meanings of words from hearing them—even better if we can see the person who speaks them.

In my years as a professional speaker and an executive coach, I can attest to the fact that when someone becomes aware of what he really wants to say, how words are spoken can shift. Sometimes, we are unaware that how we said something triggered a response in the hearer that we least expected. When I was having challenges with our youngest daughter, I would say something, and she would become instantly ballistic.  My husband would say to me, “You did it again.”I had no clue what “it” was until he restated my words in the "tone” that I used.

Why People Don't Believe You

You will find the book on Amazon now. Practical. Accessible. Essential.


Share This Post

Like this post? Please share it!


< Back to All Posts

Comments



Eileen McDargh Keynote Speaker Blog Author

About Eileen!

Since beginning her consulting and training practice in 1980, Eileen has become noted for her ability to speak the truth with clarity, wisdom, humor and compassion. Long-standing clients and repeat engagements attest to her commitment to make a difference in minds, hearts and spirits of organizations and individuals. She draws upon practical business know-how, life's experiences and years of consulting to major national and international organizations that have ranged from global pharmaceuticals to the US Armed Forces, from health care associations to religious institutions. Executive Excellence magazine selected her as one of the top 100 thought leaders in leadership and among the top ten consultant providers of leadership development.

View all posts by Eileen


Subscribe to My Blog!


Like My Blog?

Please share it!

Recents Posts


Categories



Archive


Tags

teams Hurricane Harvey Voting Listening Faith Arlington Cemetary Option B Optimism Connection Adaptability Henry VIII Change Motivating Others Postive Work Environment Book Reviews John Blumberg U.S.A.A. Intentions Trust Exercise Children Humanity Leaders Open Doors Book Sleeping Siblings Thanksgiving Bullying Play Sustainability Energy Environtment Burnout Sheryl Sandberg Strangers goals Adam Grant earthquakes Persuasion Disrupt gratitude Politics Conversation John Havlik Requisite Variety Words coaching Your Resiliency GPS Labor Day Depression Emotional Intelligence Energizing Spelling Bee Employee Attitude Humor resiliency New Year resolutions Branding Twas The Night Before Christmas Honoring Veterans Napping Reshaping the Brain civil discourse Relationships Positive Brain Repatterning Tornadoes in Texas Alzheimer's Loneliness Gifts From The Mountain Art Happiness Meetings Nursing LGBTQ Vacation ecology Suddenly Single Office Celebrations Social Media love Content Generation Leadership Skills Climate Change Dogs St. Patrick's Day women in leadership Boston Marathon resilient leaders Disruption Christmas stuck Diversity John Mattone More Fun at Work Communication Memorial Day Loss Deloitte employee retention Mark Scharenbroich Sexual Harassment resilience Back To School Walk For Hunger Learned Optimism Superbowl Guns conscience Adventure Bill Treasurer Spirit Speaking Radical Resiliency Stress Married Multi-tasking Energizing Others Patriots Animals preresilience Women Career Advice waiting Kindness Hurricane Irma Technology USAA Charity angels employees Ecotourism Survive Ownership Corporate Culture e-mail Seder Eve Writing Laughter Road Trip Education Divorce customer service Feedback Building Resilience The Last Jedi Jewish Mother's Day Travel servant leadership resilient organizations Interview Breathe Volunteer Marriage WASP work life balance Empathy Yoga Fun Work Environment Idea Breath Sales Engaged Workers Family Human Interaction cancer creativity Aging Girls Networking holidays Talk Ain't Cheap Book Soft Skills