The Energizer

Resilient Insights for Work & Life

Resilient Relationships - The Toll of Seasonal Stress

by Eileen McDargh, Chief Energy Officer - Friday, December 05, 2014
Featured Image

I bought a Santa hat yesterday. It was the only one I could find. Embroidered across the white fur base were the words, "Humbug!" It made me realize that we can make the end of this year either a humbug or a HUGbug.

It depends upon how we chose to respond to:

  • Wrapping last minute presents and waiting in long postal lines.
  • Over-extended bank accounts and under-appreciated gifts.
  • The dilemma of feeding a panoply of folks with differing claims of vegan, gluten-intolerant, lactose allergy, low salt, pure carnivore, and anything else in between.
  • Heavy work loads with last minute demands for year end results.

On and on and on. You create your own scenario. You know the drill! In the process you become anxious, short-tempered, curt, and probably take out your tension on those closest to you.

Here are three pieces of advice for keep your energy up and your relationships strong:

  1. STOP. As soon as you realize you're going over the edge, literally stop. Take a deep breath. Walk away and then return.
  2. STOP saying yes to every request. In fact, the grace of "no" or "not now" can carry great authority. Everything we are asked to do is like a 3-legged stool: time, outcome, and resources to do the work. One of these is often negotiable. Negotiate. You don't ask, you won't get.
  3. STOP trying the rescue the world. Know who you can legitimately help and who puts everyone else's teeth on edge. There is no law that says Uncle Elmer with the drinking problem MUST be at the dinner table. There is no law that says the tedious friend who drives everyone crazy with a million questions has to spend ALL day at the house.

Three other pieces of advice:

  1. START asking what is most important and who matters the most. No one will remember if you forgot the cranberry sauce or forgot to light the last Hanukkah candle. What we do remember is how we feel in the moment.
  2. START every day thinking of at least 3 things for which you are grateful. Best way: write them down. Every day. Maybe as soon as you get out of bed.
  3. START giving hugs-either the real ones or the verbal ones that let people know you appreciate them. Whether the store clerk or your best beloved, warm responses fill the heart and the home with a radiant energy of love.

Can you add to this list? Let me know what you want to stop. What do you want to start?


Share This Post

Like this post? Please share it!


< Back to All Posts

Comments



Eileen McDargh Keynote Speaker Blog Author

About Eileen!

Since beginning her consulting and training practice in 1980, Eileen has become noted for her ability to speak the truth with clarity, wisdom, humor and compassion. Long-standing clients and repeat engagements attest to her commitment to make a difference in minds, hearts and spirits of organizations and individuals. She draws upon practical business know-how, life's experiences and years of consulting to major national and international organizations that have ranged from global pharmaceuticals to the US Armed Forces, from health care associations to religious institutions. Executive Excellence magazine selected her as one of the top 100 thought leaders in leadership and among the top ten consultant providers of leadership development.

View all posts by Eileen


Subscribe to My Blog!


Like My Blog?

Please share it!

Recents Posts


Categories



Archive


Tags

Multi-tasking Sustainability The Last Jedi Art Persuasion Exercise Feedback Networking Reshaping the Brain gratitude resilient leaders Thanksgiving teams More Fun at Work New Year resolutions Energizing Others Walk For Hunger LGBTQ Book Reviews Napping Children Listening Interview Hurricane Harvey Survive servant leadership Hurricane Irma Sexual Harassment Humor Married John Blumberg U.S.A.A. Alzheimer's Arlington Cemetary Leadership Skills women in leadership waiting Family Girls Dogs John Havlik Soft Skills Gifts From The Mountain Sales Technology St. Patrick's Day Career Advice Positive Brain Repatterning Mark Scharenbroich Content Generation Adam Grant Women Disruption Energy Talk Ain't Cheap Book Deloitte Yoga Trust Laughter Patriots Ownership Adventure Climate Change Employee Attitude Nursing Your Resiliency GPS holidays Memorial Day Option B Ecotourism Building Resilience Stress Intentions Motivating Others Charity Honoring Veterans Play Branding earthquakes WASP Suddenly Single Humanity Corporate Culture Change angels Politics Divorce conscience Optimism Jewish Happiness resilient organizations Adaptability Animals Speaking Sheryl Sandberg Superbowl Siblings Vegan Environtment Energizing Communication Burnout coaching Fun Work Environment Idea Travel Education employee retention Faith Radical Resiliency Christmas Loss Kindness Bill Treasurer Twas The Night Before Christmas civil discourse Sleeping Meetings USAA ecology goals Postive Work Environment Office Celebrations Back To School Engaged Workers Boston Marathon creativity resiliency Mother's Day e-mail Social Media preresilience Strangers employees Marriage Guns Vacation Depression Tornadoes in Texas Bullying cancer Leaders Open Doors Book Learned Optimism Writing Labor Day Henry VIII Disrupt Road Trip Seder Eve customer service love Diversity Relationships Emotional Intelligence Voting Spelling Bee work life balance Breath Aging Breathe stuck Spirit resilience Empathy