Let’s face it: in a 24-7 world with multiple competing demands for our time talent, and yes—treasure—it is so easy to become overwhelmed. Join me in this 3-part series with my guest and colleague, Achim Nowak. Achim and I connected at Wisdom 2.0, a 3-day intensive experience that brought thought leaders together to explore wisdom in all its various dimensions. As founder and CEO of Influenc, Achim and his team are international coaches and trainers of C-level executives— all focused around ENERGY. Enjoy these simple to say but sometimes harder to do pieces of advice:

Todd Adams, CEO of Star Thrower productions, the distributor of my training film Gifts from the Mountain, just wrote this piece and I asked his permission to share it. Important reading! A recent study at the University of Michigan found that empathetic skills in college students have declined by as much at 48% over the last 8 years. The reasons for the decline are many, but two in particular stand out: People participate in less face-to-face communication Mobile devices are taking the place of actual interaction This same challenge is faced by organizations. The ever-increasing drive for productivity has changed the time people spend together. Remote workplaces, file sharing, and self-paced learning all contribute to fewer face-to-face interactions. This lack of physical interaction makes it difficult to truly connect. As noted by Dr. Sherry Turkle in her book, Reclaiming Conversation. “Empathy is uniquely human. It cannot be mastered without face-to-face conversations.” Improving empathy requires an investment. The good news is that the actual cost of improving empathy is small, and the potential payout huge. Research has shown that teams with higher empathy are more creative and productive. To improve empathy, organizations require an investment of time. The goal should be to allow time for people to get to know each other as individuals. Here are a few simple suggestions: Schedule informal discussion time at meetings - Set aside a few minutes at each meeting for non-organizational discussions. Encourage face-to-face communication - When possible, encourage people to speak directly, rather than email. Special events – Do things not directly related to work. Watch and discuss a video, plan an outing or group breakfast - it doesn’t matter. Remind people you care – This simple action will encourage trust. Trust will improve communication. Communication will improve empathy. Nice. We all have the ability to be more empathetic. To improve empathy, individuals require an investment of commitment. Here are a few ways to improve your ability to empathize: CHALLENGE your own assumptions. DO NOT JUDGE the choices of others based on your personal upbringing/life experiences. LISTEN to others’ stories. TRY to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Little changes can make a big difference. Invest in improving empathy. You will like your return on investment. Here are two short video series by my colleague, Dewitt Jones, that can help you address empathy. You can preview them here.

You’ve spent days and weeks preparing for this opportunity. You’ve enlisted colleagues to give you advice. You've practiced what you want to say. You’ve written many scenarios and improved each time. Those who know the process exclaim, " You’ve got it for sure." Not so. After all that work, a rejection email appears. You sit in bewilderment: angry, confused, hurt, stunned, and potentially even considering just plain quitting. I’ve been there. And I bet you have also. Plug in whatever context you wish and we all—to a greater or lesser degree—can recognize the response. Perhaps you feel stupid, worthless, and incompetent. You might also feel like giving "them" a not-polite gesture and exclaiming "What do they know?" None of these responses will move the needle forward. I know. I have done them all. Over time, consider these resiliency options. First: Get angry. Pout, cry, yell, whine, moan and eat dark chocolate. Whatever is your comfort food.You’ve wanted this for so long. You worked so hard. You are allowed and encouraged to have this emotion. But then—time to get over it.  Anger and self-pity won’t move you forward. Two: Remember the past "setbacks."  I’ll bet if you think about it, you can recall a time when the door slammed shut and you thought all was lost. But today, you realize it put you in a different place that would never have happened otherwise. Example:  Early in my career, I was a senior public relations consultant in a PR firm. I got to the place where I hated writing press releases. I didn’t want to do this work. My escape was waiting for my husband to win a large contract and we’d move to Seattle where I would be the communications director for a new project. Yahoo! Alas, the deal was lost. I had to make my move. I resigned and now, years later, I realize I would never have started my business had we won the contract. Wow! Three: Reframe. Is there another way you could frame the event that shows something positive? What did you learn? Did you make new friends? Can you use any of this experience for another project? Remember that glue that refused to stick became 3M’s famed post-it-notes. Four: Express gratitude. The first wealth is health. If you have that, say thank you. In the end, love is the most meaningful of all. Do you have people who love you? Say thank you. Do you have the basic necessities of life? If so, say thank you. Fifth: Begin again. A mountain is toppled by a rain drop. An elephant is devoured by an ant. Small drops, small bites. One at a time. Take a deep breath.Move forward. Be blessed.

Resilient managers know that growing through challenges as well as opportunities is a great career move. However, when one moves from the rank and file into the echelon called “boss”, strange things can happen to the relationships with people who were once on your peer level. We found this marvelous infographic that offers 10 tips for how to grow INTO the role as a first-time manager. I trust you will enjoy.

I’m throwing down the foul flag. The use of profanity and sexuality explicit words must go. It is a mockery of intelligence to think that such low level language carries greater weight than words of substance and thought. We call them four-letter words because they require little education. I would say they are used by fourth graders but that would be an insult to nine year-olds. Years ago, I’d get to my office at Amelia Island Plantation in Florida very early. It was the best time to prepare for the work ahead. Every morning, two of the fourth-grade boys waiting for the school bus would come into my office to chatter away.  On this particular morning, they came in quite agitated. “Quick, Eileen. Teach us some bad words. The kids at the bus stop are using them and we don’t know many!” “Hey kids—it takes zero intelligence to use bad words. What if I teach you BIG words that actually means something and will confuse the heck out of your tormentors?” My little friends high-fived each other and waited for my instructions. Here is what I told them to say:  “Your bellicose verbiage and outlandish diatribe speaks volumes about your potential IQ.It might be time to reconsider what you are spewing.” I explained what it meant and they repeated the words until they had them memorized.  I told them to state the sentences and then just walk away from the bullies. The next morning, they ran in full of glee, telling me it worked and that the bullies were scratching their heads. I couldn’t help but remember a great Dorothy Parker line, “In a battle of wits, I never argue with an unarmed man.” So, two points here: first, if you have no clue as to what I taught my nine year-olds to say, best start boning up. But second, do not accept the language that is streaming at us. Register your strong disapproval—whether in written or in verbal form. Insist that you will not tolerate or listen to such foul words. If they work for someone, write their manager. If you know the parent, tell the parent. It would do ALL of us a world of good to hear profound thoughts instead of profane.

As I write this, Hurricane Irma is chewing up the ocean on a relentless track toward Florida, having devastated most of Barbuda, crashed into the Leeward Islands, engulfed Puerto Rico, and who knows what will happen with Haiti and the Dominican Republic. The eastern seaboard of the US is holding its breath. Irma is this 9000 pound-gorilla that follows her torrential rain brother Harvey which engulfed Texas and parts of Louisiana. And as of last night, a raging fire in the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon had consumed some 33,000 acres, my son-in-law is a fire captain on the crew, and my daughter and granddaughter have evacuated. Across the street, my neighbor received an out-of-the-blue notice that her brother-in-law who was recovering from knee surgery had gone into cardiac arrest and was on life support. (He died early this morning.) All it takes are videos and photos to put our hearts in the same place as those who are experiencing disaster first-hand. The question is: how much can the human system take? How do we respond to others? How do we help ourselves? What can we learn from each event that can help with “the next time”… because there will always be some form of “next time”. Read the rest of the article here.

“Where do you get all your energy?”  That’s a question many of us are asked as we finish leading an intense management retreat, conducting a training session, or keynoting a major conference.  My answer, after I jokingly say, “Drugs!” is “Exercise”. I’ve realized that some of the lessons learned in a physical fitness program are appropriate for our personal and professional growth and have also have application in the training room. Cross train. It’s essential for continual improvement. We all get into our ruts, doing the same routines over and over again and wondering why we don’t see any improvement.The body (as well as the mind) slips into neutral.  Cross-training challenges different parts of our physical structure. We have to learn a new way of holding weights, of balancing, of breathing. We gain a new appreciation for a different skill set.The parallels in organizational behavior are immediate. Read the rest of the article on LinkedIn!

Our road trip this summer took us on the eastern side of Glacier National Park in Montana. Vast ranch lands stretched for miles with rolling green, wildflowers, and rising mountain views. Much of the land was owned by cattle barons.  But, thankfully, other pieces belonged to the various Indians ensconced on their reservations: Blackfeet, Sioux, Shoshone, Cheyenne, Kootenai, Flathead Salish, Crow, Gros Ventre and Oglala Sioux. \As luck would have it, I met one of the Oglala Sioux as we filled up the car with gas. He offered a very different account of Custer’s Last Stand which, upon later examination, was far more accurate than my feeble history brain could remember.  I loved our conversation and asked him if he would teach me a few words in his language. Sadly, I never was able to say his name but I followed his mouth as he made different sounds that became "Good Day" and "Have a safe trip."  While the pump rang up the gallons, I rang up sounds in my head. He’d nod and smile if I somehow got parts of it right. He offered me a firm handshake and we smiled as I got in the car to leave.  But before Bill could fasten his seat belt and I could double check our map, my new Sioux friend came running up to the car with a small piece of paper.  In very beautiful handwriting, he had spelled out phonetically the few words for me. I have attached them for you, my readers. Look carefully. Try and say the words. I am struck by a clear fact: what would it mean for our nation, our world, if we took the time to learn even small bits of another language? My new Oglala friend just beamed as he patiently tried to teach me. We bonded over a gas pump! I hope the first words he wrote might come true—if not between us—perhaps between another Sioux. "See you again."

For weeks, I’ve watched this man walk three VERY different dogs. I figured he is a paid dog walker. But today, when I finally asked him, I discovered that the dogs belong to his three children. Apparently, each child got to select the dog of their choice. I love that thought. The kids aren’t bound by one kind of dog. They have no one-size fits-all picture of what kind of animal they can love.“Viva the difference”, said the Dad. He is so right. It goes along with this banner I found hanging from a light pole in Jasper Alberta, Canada. We are all different. It is the richness of diversity that affords color, texture, imagination, and yes—solutions to common problems. I remember a former client who claimed that he only hired people who went to USC and had this one professor. Thus, all of his employees had one line of thinking based on the professor. Today’s world is far too complex to have a narrow cast. Adaptability is a cornerstone to resiliency and that requires multiple options. The world would be a sad and lonely place if only the best bird sang or if everything were monochromatic. Imagine if only one kind of flower grew in your garden or that only black clothes hung in your closet. Imagine if you only spoke to people who went to your school, who only rooted for your team, who only sang one song. Boring. Blah. And, ultimately the opposite of adaptability. Let’s hear it for diversity. In fact, let us celebrate it.

If you have a 4-legged pooch and live anywhere near Laguna Niguel, CA, you might mark your calendar for August 24 and September 28 from 5-8 pm.It’s the cleverest bit of marketing I have seen in a long time AND there’s a good cause to boot! Consider this YAPPY HOUR where dogs and two-legged owners converge seaside to lap up libations guaranteed to suit every muzzle and mouth.  For the pups, there’s water flavored with bacon, chicken, beef or vegan. (After all, this IS California). And for the owners, they can relax with Mutt Lynched Unleashed Chardonnay, Merlot Over and Play Dead, or Chateau d’OG Sauvignon.What a crack up! Of course, my little brain can’t help but think of other drinks and food that might go along with a night of the dog. They might offer bulldog beer, Maltese martinis, or roll-in-stuff rum gimlets. There could be wiener dogs, Chihuahua cheese dip and puff pooch pastries stuffed with who-knows-what!  Actually, if the Ritz doesn’t already do this, I think it would be a fun activity to invite the guests to name food and drink.  Pick out the best ones (a decision by the hotel’s dog walker) and host the winners at the next Yappy Hour. Seriously, I love the fun this affords local folks. Oh yes, Ritz Carlton Laguna Niguel hosts a HOWL-O-WEEN night for dogs to come in costumes.  Sigh, I only have a two-legged pet but since we’ve been together for 37 years, he IS house-broken. Best of all, proceeds support The Veterans Initiative of Canine Companions for Independence.

My mother always said, “To end well, you must begin well.” Of course, she was talking about how you separated clothes for the washing machine or how you chose vegetables at the market. But it’s also true when it comes to creating a resilient, sustainable workforce.The questions you ask in the recruiting phase will help both you and a potential employee determine if you have the right fit for your organization. Because today’s work environment is one of constant change as well as one with fluid teams, the ability to deal with different people as well as respond to unique situations is paramount. Likewise, there must also be a values fit—a real fit. Values are not something posted on the wall and forgotten. Rather, values are demonstrated in every day actions. Thus, your questions must also dig deeper into how this potential employee makes decisions. Consider these top five questions as a way of determining if this is a match made in heaven or hell. By the way, I assume you’ve already looked at the required technical skill base. These questions are designed to evoke behavioral responses. You might also give these questions in advance to the interviewee. They are not easy to think about on the spur of the moment. And if it is a young recruit, their life’s experience might not have opened up to such encounters. Describe a situation where you had to work with someone whom you didn’t like or respect. How did you handle that? Think of a difficult decision you had to make regarding a work (or school) situation. What criteria did you use to decide a course of action? Think of a situation in which you were moving right along and then, suddenly, something happened to pull the rug from under your feet. What was that situation and what happened? What did you do? Please think of the worst and the best customer/client experience you have ever had. What was it and how did you handle it? Let’s pretend this is your last day on earth and you are listening to people talk about you. What do you want to hear? Bonus Question: Would you be willing, after 4 months on the job, to come back and tell me what we can do to improve either your job, a process, a procedure or a policy? This last question is one that you dare NOT ask unless you are willing to actually call the employee, listen to her ideas seriously, and respond in a meaningful way. I firmly believe that “new eyes” in a setting can see things we might no longer see or hear. Final point. A resilient employee is one who can grow through challenge as well as opportunity. The key word here is “grow”. There might very well come a time when growth opportunities with your business are no longer available. This is where you do what you can to help them find their next growth enterprise and wish them well. Don’t get caught in the trap of “I spent all this money to train them and they are gone!” If you begin well and end well, you will have a business champion for life. She can very well send you your next employee as well as bring more customers or clients to your door. And that helps you grow and sustain a resilient organization.

Radical Resiliency is the term I coined to redefine “resiliency” as something that–for humans–is far different from the notion of “bouncing back”. Rather, it is the ability to grow through challenge or opportunity. Radical resiliency also requires an element of intelligent optimism—not the pie-in-the-sky-cock-eyed version but rather a reframing of possibilities. But standing in line at the grocery store today, it is hard to feel optimistic when this is the cover of PEOPLE Magazine... People Magazine, not The National Enquirer!! . This is no longer about politics but rather a feeling that we have lost our precious experiment of democracy, a 3-branch government that offered checks and balances, and the admiration of the free world. As if by magic, my sister sent me an article written by Robert Hubbell who offered this quote from Junot Diaz in the New Yorker. "But all the fighting in the world will not help us if we do not also hope." What I’m trying to cultivate is not blind optimism but what the philosopher Jonathan Lear calls radical hope. “What makes this hope radical,” Lear writes, “ is that it is directed toward a future goodness that transcends the current ability to understand what it is.” Radical hope is not so much something you have but something you practice; it demands flexibility, openness, and what Lear describes as “imaginative excellence.” Radical hope is our best weapon against despair, even when despair seems justifiable; it makes the survival of the end of your world possible. Only radical hope could have imagined people like us into existence. And I believe that it will help us create a better, more loving future. In my book, The Resilient Spirit , I have a quote from Tagore who said, “Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.” I believe that is radical hope. For me, such radical hope DEMANDS that I live the pledge created in http://www.trueleadercreed.com . It is my behavior that I can control... as can you! We dare not devolve into secrets, lies, manipulation, hatred and demonizing. Yes—I suspect that is RADICAL.