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I can hear the jokes already and most of them are not politically correct. Let me throw out a word that we often don’t attach to work and yet I think it is a word of redemption, of contribution, of achievement, of community, and ultimately, of legacy. Here it is: LOVE. Kahil Gibran proclaimed, “Work is love made visible”.  I would further clarify his position by insisting that a job is what you do for a paycheck. Work is what you do for a life.  It is that energizing, all-encompassing activity that allows you to bring skills to bear in ways that are satisfying beyond a pay period. It is that activity that saves you from being a faceless number in a mechanistic wheel—hence it holds redemptive powers. It is that activity which makes a contribution to a larger world order.  It is that activity from which you sense a measure of accomplishment and achievement. It excites you. It gives you joy.  It binds you to a community of people who are stakeholders in what you do.  Ultimately, it has a ripple effect and the potency of a legacy for those who follow. “Ah come on!,” you insist. “How about a garbage collector?  A waiter?  A store clerk? Who is going to love those jobs?” Great question.  And at face value, it seems that not every employment opportunity has such grand potential.  Just take the money, leave it as soon as you can for greener pastures.  Screw those miserable bosses. Thumb your nose at the customer. And tomorrow you die. That’s it. Plain and simple.  While you are looking for the dream vocation, the better work environment, the nicer boss, reality can step in and your one moment on the Planet is gone forever. It’s a reality made even MORE real by current events. There’s an uneasy shift that has taken us by storm and rattled our plod-along workaday world. Many are paralyzed by the insecurity of the times. The terror of 9-11 and the subsequent global aggressiveness pushed us over the edge. With a wobbly U.S. economy, unsettled change continues to bombard us. Mega-mergers boggle the mind with the endless zeros streaming behind a behemoth’s financial size.  We gasp at the number of employees who are cast off from a consolidated giant.  We see plant closures and layoffs in everything from clothing manufacturing to banking. Overnight web companies turn almost under-age youth into millionaires and executives at age 40 are left scratching their heads.  Then, dot.coms fail, leaving bewildered employees in the rubble. Wall Street meltdown, corporate greed, and icon-like presidents who crash as fallen idols make daily headlines. Statistics point out a bleak picture and there’s pain and inaccuracy behind these cold numbers. We are working more but feeling as if we’re earning less and living in time poverty.  Affluenza is an all too common word.  The consistent notion that work should be a 24/7 event with fear of job loss hanging as a shadow is being challenged by a rising number of strident voice. And with those voices comes a cry for the most urgent answer to sustainable success: finding meaningful work that makes an impact and lets us live in the bargain. Answer that plea and we’ll unleash a productive and creative power akin to a tsunami. In short we want to LOVE what we do, who we do it for and who we do it with AND love the life we create outside that work. That’s the essence-the Holy Grail-the mysterious work/life balance piece. Finding that Holy Grail is done by parallel processing, working on two tracks. The first track is to make work “work” for you in your current situation. Wouldn’t it make more sense to transform wherever you find yourself—even while continuing to search—so that if and when you leave, there’s a faint footprint of achievement, community, contribution and yes, even the memory of a beneficial interaction.  Such a transformation allows you to love yourself in the process.  It keeps bridges from burning and strengthens a network of relationships that one day you might call upon. The critical question becomes: how do you turn a “job’ into a “work”—into something that gives you more than a paycheck?  No, you might not be able to alter the corporate strategic plan, paint the garbage truck peppermint pink or change a boss from a toad to a prince.  But, there are specific action items you can take within your sphere of influence. Too often, we expect management to lead us in career directions, to provide us with recognition, to make “it” a better place. It’s just like a marriage: there’s responsibility on both sides. Don’t wait. Time is too precious to squander. You CAN fall in love again. "Somewhere there is an ancient enmity between our daily life and the great work. Help me in saying it, to understand it." – Rainer Maria Rilke

Dateline: Jacksonville Beach, FL. St. Paul's Catholic School.  That was the introduction to Sister Helen Lange, OSB, our principal/music teacher/choir director. As new kids on the block, we were amazed to have a principal who smiled, cracked jokes, and seemed to relish her work. It was a far cry from the stern-faced, ruler -carrying principal in Atlanta. Sister Helen could make a bunch of adolescents sounds angelic and believed in us enough to put on a stage production: The Cowboy on the Moon. With Mom as PTA President, the two of them devised all manner of new events for the school carnival and, I am sure raised more money and madcaps than in times past. Despite our family's many moves around the U.S., Mom and I never lost track of Sister Helen. I'd hear from her about some contemporary class she was taking in Oregon or some fun she was having with the students and community members in St. Leo's, FL.  The picture of her in the red hat and purple scarf told me she might be aging but was NOT getting older. Today, she continues to embody curiosity, a love of learning, interest in others, and optimism.  The latter has become harder to come by since last year, the Benedictine Mother House decided that Sister Helen needed more care and moved her away from beloved sisters and into an assisted living facility in Dade County, FL.  Her first reports back to me were that she didn't like it but she'd somehow manage.  Making lemonade out of the lemons of loss, her last letter (dictated to a writer), said she had fun weaving around in wheel chairs and finding ways to help others.  She sent some poems she had written in 1962 and ask that I call her sometime on her cell phone because on September 28, she turns 100!!!! What she didn't tell me - as she was never prone to complain-- was that  macular degeneration has taken most of her sight.  I found it out by search her name on the chance I could find a picture of her.  Ok, Sister Helen, this is an early 100th birthday card--reaching out to all my friend so that by just reading of your resiliency, they can also hold your image in their minds and hearts. You will have to have someone read this to you-- even with the glass reader that the local Lions Club gave you. But know you are loved and honored beyond measure. You are my hero for resiliency if life and labor!

It started at the rental car turn-in location. My friend is a “platinum” member with Hertz—who offers a great benefit I discovered when the rental agencies are a considerable distance from the terminal.  Hertz provided a shuttle bus to the lot for people to pick out their cars.  Our shuttle bus driver grinned as she slid into the driver’s seat and said she could hardly wait for school to begin.  Turns out she’s also a school bus driver and with her seniority, she gets to pick her route.  Her passion: autistic children.  “I just love ‘em,” she grinned.  “I get them again this year.” Fascinating. Sincere. And difficult. We stopped to grab a bite of lunch before long flights. The waitress excitedly nodded when we ordered the cashew chicken sandwich. “It’s our new menu. We just got it yesterday. That’s a great choice!” She grinned and gave us a two-thumbs up signal.  I don’t know about you, but I rarely get service help excited by a menu.  It was as if SHE personally made the sandwich. Fascinating. Sincere. And standing on your feet all day—difficult. At an adjacent Frontier airlines gate, I asked where my plane was and how come no representative was at the gate. “Listen,” she laughed, “it’s also my gate. I can do amazing things. Watch how quick I get this plane loaded. I’ll do the same for yours. You’ll see.” I did. It’s almost 6pm on a Sunday night and folks are cranky and tired. Not my gate attendant. True to her word, she efficiently started the process AND took time to actually read every boarding pass and call the passenger by name. She patted my arm when I went through. “See, Eileen.  Told you I could do this.” Fascinating. Sincere. And the job of a gate agent is difficult—very difficult. My seatmate was a young man, a rotating guidance counselor for grades 6-12 in the Costa Mesa, CA school district. “There aren’t many men in my line of work—and particularly men of color,” he remarked offhandedly. “DO you like what you do?” I asked.  His eyes opened wide and he offered a wide smile. “I love it.  I really feel like I am making a difference. So many of these kids have no one to talk to—no one to model the right behavior.”  He proceeded to tell me a series of stories that would break your heart.  “It’s when they come back after they leave school that is most rewarding. You just never know if what you say today will suddenly click in years later.” Fascinating. Sincere. And difficult—very, VERY difficult. In each instance, the joy came from how each connected with another human being. It was the CONNECTION that made the difference. Not the money. Not the title. The eyes staring at each other. The hands reaching out to help. Fascinating. Sincere. And maybe—with deliberate intent we could try it. Might NOT be all that difficult.

When was the last time you boarded an airplane and the pilot was handing out Aircraft Trading Cards with the statistics of the plane on which you’re about to fly? Think about it. It makes sense. How many of us would buy a car without reading the manufacture’s label on the window?  So why shouldn’t we know about the “product” we are buying? That must have been what Captain Denny Flanagan figured when he stood at the jet way of the 757 that was to take me home to Orange County. But there was more to the practice. Captain Flanagan brought this idea to United just after September 11th when they were losing customers and furloughing pilots.  His thought was that if the pilots were to become more proactive and more visible, customer confidence levels might increase and fill the airplanes. If the airplanes were filled, furloughed pilots would get their job backs.   It worked. Lesson One: Servant Leaders think of employees and customers at the same time. But Captain Flanagan didn’t stop there.  Nope.  During the flight, the attendant came back and handed out more business cards. This time, it was Captain Flanagan’s personal business card with a personal note handwritten on the back. “Eileen, you are a valued customer and your business is greatly appreciated. Please let me know how we can exceed your expectations. Capt. Denny.” Lesson Two: Servant Leaders actively model HOW to reach the customer. Now, if I had been the ONLY passenger around me to get a card, I’d think this was a pick-up line. On the contrary, everyone received a personal note!  Since I am in the leadership business, I figured I needed to meet this man and tell him how amazing it was to see a gesture like that. Captain Flanagan appeared surprised that a passenger would wait to say thank you. He told me that he liked letting customers know that they mattered and he’d do his part, with whatever was in his sphere of influence, to give us a good experience.  He made an impersonal flight into a flight of relationship building.  I gave him my business card and said thanks. That was two or three weeks ago. Today, I received another note from Captain Flanagan.  It seems my comments on servant leadership were things he’d been practicing and he just wanted me to know more (little did he know that I write about leadership examples). “Eileen, Thank you for taking the time by waiting for me to emerge from the cockpit. Statistics show that for every compliment or complaint received, that there are 100 others thinking of doing the same thing. Feedback is so important to know you are on the right track. Thank you. I have a few work philosophies and they have proved effective over the years. I believe that each customer deserves a good travel experience whether on United, American, Delta… train, bus, taxi, or with your best friend in his car. You deserve a safe and comfortable ride. Treat each customer as if it is their first flight and have no expectations. I try and lead by example. This helps motivate the crew to do a better job. When they see me stow bags, assist moms with strollers and answer customer questions as if it was the first time I heard it they are brought back to their new hire days.” Lesson Three: Servant leaders aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. Capt. Denny continues “It is easier to keep the customers you have than to find new ones. United has a devoted sales team to find new customers and it is time consuming and expensive but necessary. My job is somewhat easier and less expensive and that is to provide a safe and customer-oriented service. If I do my job the folks in the sales department will have less pressure on them. I tell my crew that in a year’s time there are many exterior forces in our lives that we have no control of but on a daily basis we can make a difference.   It was a pleasure having you on my flight. You may forget my name in a few months but my goal is that you don’t forget the feeling. Capt. Denny Flanagan” I know there are hard-bitten travelers who will mutter about mechanical delays, lost luggage, and surly clerks.  I got them all just last week. That’s not the point. Captain Flanagan can’t change the system.  But he can-within the leadership boundaries of his 757-decide to model service, graciousness, and patience with the traveling public as well as his crew. The flight’s purser told me that Captain Flanagan treats his crew with the same respect he grants to his passengers. Imagine what would happen if everyone just worried about the atmosphere and experience they are creating in that one small circle of influence instead of carping on the failure of senior managers, the work hours, the politics, the policies and the practices. An organization could fly on the wings of a lot of those “circles” coming together. A McDargh says to a Flanagan, “Keep up the great work.”  And that’s not blarney.

Women can have it all, but first YOU need to figure out what “IT” is that you want!  Just remember, allow your goals to change over time. You will change and your priorities and ambitions will change and sometimes plans don’t always work out as we intend.  Being flexible will help you stay on track and understand that sometimes, you are going to fail. Failure is a part of growth.  It allows you to learn from your mistakes and makes you stronger as you face difficult challenges. What we need to understand as women is that there will be many obstacles to achieving your goals. Our reality is that we are in a male-dominated world, but I believe women will rise as we continue to reveal our value.  So often, women leave the workforce because of the difficulty with balancing personal and professional lives. Being in the corner office, Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps or Female Infantry Officer may not be for everyone. No matter what you decide, there is no right or wrong answer and I certainly don’t have all the answers.  Serving in the military taught me a number of skills that have been essential to my success since I reentered the civilian world -- and contain valuable lessons for other women. In order to be successful in whatever you decide, below are a few tips that I would like to share with you that have helped me. Be Confident Women tend to look at things differently than men and often we second-guess ourselves. We don’t give credit to ourselves when credit is due. You deserve your success. Create ownership of success and understand your own success. Believe in yourself! Don’t just talk about it, be about it! Your ideas and concepts are valuable. Speak up. Sometimes you will have good ideas and other times you will not. Keep your hand up! You will never know what opportunities can come to you if you do not get out of your comfort zone. Create a level playing field. Juggling home and work is difficult. Choose a partner who will support your ambitions and will do their part with the kids. Often women are the ones sacrificing for their partner.  Making equal contributions is key to a successful relationship, family life and career. Develop emotional intelligence We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we're in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we're not offended or upset. They're caring and considerate, and even if we don't find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic. We probably also know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don't get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They're excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they're usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance. People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence, or EI. They know themselves very well, and they're also able to sense the emotional needs of others. As this journey continues, I am looking forward to sharing my obstacles and experiences with you to assist with your growth and opportunity! You can reach Jenna at:   Lady Leatherneck and Twitter: @jenna_lombardo1

NOTE:  Jenna Lombardo wrote this to her sisters in the military.  However, her advice is solid for men and women in all work environments: So often, the military small unit leadership has turned a blind eye to sexual harassment and sexual assaults.  It is only until recently that action is being taken due to the high-ranking incidents that have occurred.  Each branch of service has come out with its own method of prevention training. In my opinion, this training is senseless if the leaders who instruct these courses and the students within do not have respect for their female counterparts to begin with.  Prevention needs to start with women who stand up for themselves and chose to start a ripple effect. One in three women experiences sexual assault during their military career and very rarely are these incidents dealt with. I am not suggesting that every experience that you encounter should be dealt with by complaining to your chain of command, but as women, we need to put an end to the behavior of men who attempt to take advantage of women and create a foundation for young ladies who come into the military force after us. Women are not fragile or submissive; it is time we stand up for ourselves and for our sisters in arms. (1) Talk to the person directly When the initial sexual harassment incident takes place, ask the person harassing you to stop. If your harasser continues displaying the same behavior, inform your harasser that you plan to file a report if the behavior continues. Some people discontinue their behavior once you threaten to report them. If the harasser fails to stop, you can take further action. Particularly, when I have been firm and obviously not interested in their behavior, it deters them from saying or making any gestures toward me. (2) Find other victims and witnesses Search for other victims of sexual harassment by your harasser. You may find that some other victims have filed complaints in the past. Secure the testimony of any witnesses of your incidents in writing. This helps support your claim. This was particularly helpful for me when I first entered the Marine Corps. I had encountered an instructor in my MOS school who was harassing other young women (E-1/E-2). This instructor made his way to me and said some VERY inappropriate things to me and then began to stalk me. It felt wrong, but I was naïve. I spoke to other women who felt the same and I was the ONE who spoke up and in the end, he was held accountable and eventually court martialed and kicked out. (3) Inform Your Supervisor If talking to your harasser did not stop the harassing behavior, report all incidents to your immediate supervisor. Ask your supervisor for a meeting to explain the situation in person. The reality is that sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.  However, do not give up.  If your immediate supervisor overlooks it, than that is a leadership failure.  Stand your ground and make sure that you are not mistreated in that manner again. YOU ARE VALUABLE. Don’t let anyone make you think or feel that your intuition is wrong.

Talk about “leaning in”. Imagine doing two combat tours in Iraq, being promoted because of “meritorious combat service”, being nominated three times as “Enlisted Woman of the Year" and then facing sexual harassment from a senior enlisted advisor. I encountered Jenna Lombardo through her story posted on Sheryl Sandberg’s LEAN IN site. Given the current details of increased sexual harassment and assaults on women within the military, I wanted to find out more about this amazing woman. Over coffee at a local Pain du Monde, this gorgeous woman spoke about how she realized there were few other women she could turn to for advice and support. Today, as a former Marine, mother, a Marine wife, student and philanthropist her response has been to create a support group called Lady Leatherneck. Through Lady Leatherneck, her goal is to bring a community of military women together through shared experiences, to counsel, and to mentor and inspire one another. In my next blog, I have asked Jenna for advice on how to handle sexual harassment.

The doorbell rang on Saturday afternoon. Five girls, ages nine to ten, clamored around my door, waving sheets of paper and talking all at once. "Wait,"I laughed. "One person at a time." "We're on a birthday party scavenger hunt," squealed the smallest one who also seemed to command more authority than her size projected. (As the runt of the litter in my family, I loved it!) "What do you need?" I asked. Turned out they all were on the same team. The smallest girl held the master list of what items remained. "Spool of thread."  Check:  I found an orange spool from some long forgotten Halloween costume. "A bar of hotel soap." Nope. We used it all up. "A packet of seed."  Check. My husband raced to the garage and came back with herbs as seeds. "A balloon."  Nope. Now that the kids are older, I just didn't have that in the toy box any more. "A grocery store receipt." Check.  I told the girls they would love me because few people keep grocery receipts. Two "nopes" and three "checks".  Not bad. The girls raced off for the missing balloon and the hotel soap. Late that night, I thought about the scavenger hunt and resiliency. There are parallels. When life hands us "something" to deal with, the most adaptable among us look for many answers.  It requires a willingness to ask for help.  Sometimes, we must ask strangers. When one request doesn't work, move on. "Next" becomes a mantra. Lastly, don't go alone if you can help it.  Find people who care about you, who have possibly been in that situation, and who also have a sense of positive expectancy. A scavenger is one who removes garbage from the street. In like manner, the scavenger hunt as I described above is to seek help getting rid of what might feel like garbage in your life. If you're in this place, start ringing some door bells.

Normally on the day of the marathon, he is perched on the sidelines close to Boston College and Heartbreak Hill. This Monday he was driving back from the Cape, to my great relief. But in 1980, he wrote an op-ed piece on the Marathon for the Boston Globe. I have the article as a poster mounted on my office wall. Its words ring with solidarity and meaning even 33 years later. Almost in front of where I was standing to watch this year's Marathon, a young black runner suddenly came to a halt, crippled by the leg cramps he likely had been fighting for miles. The crowd on Hereford Street did what thousands had done for others between Boston and Hopkinton. They began calling encouragement. “Come on, you're almost there! You can do it!" Almost as quickly a middle-aged white man jogging behind the runner stopped, put his arm around the young man’s waist and urged him forward. Shoulder to shoulder the two men started off again. The crowd on the sidewalk THUNDERED its approval. Somewhere inside of me a dam of reserve broke and I found myself clapping and shouting wildly – and crying unabashedly. So this was the Marathon: in truth a metaphor for the meaning of this "city built on a hill". The Marathon is a parable we enact yearly that tells us what it takes to live together in a democracy: individuality and corporateness; solitude and communion. On the one hand, the Marathon celebrates the power of personal decision and sheer endurance. Yet at the same time, that individual's striving requires the supports and confirmation of the community. It requires a people who will affirm that what counts is not success, measured by who makes it in first, but fidelity to a vision of excellence uniquely personal. Another Bostonian, William James, once observed that every person at some level long still lead "the strenuous life," a life that engages passionately the heart, the will and the imagination. In many respects, the Marathon yearly displays the truth of that observation. It illustrates that the strenuous life is not the same thing as the competitive life, a life that divides the world into winners and losers, have and have-nots. As long as the Boston Marathon remains the race in which everyone who runs it is a winner, it will also be that annual occasion that reminds us of what it is that is worth striving for – the creation of the city and the world in which we can take inspiration from cheering on the enduring and prevailing of all our brothers and sisters without exception. What we have seen since the explosions is an incredible outpouring of compassion, selfless service, and concern. We see a networked community that draws together in solidarity for the victims, their families, and all those who participated in this 117-year-old event. As a nation, I read and watch my fellow citizens become determined not to retreat in fear but to move forward in hope. The Boston community is a very tightly knit interwoven family with networks that stretch from business to college to churches to synagogues and mosques. John has kept me apprised of what is being reported in the Boston Globe and what he hears from colleagues. In his last email, John sent me both pictures and columns from the local paper. It was only then that I realized the poignancy of the signature line John uses in all of his letters: "Live in fragments no longer ....only connect!" E.M. Forster The pictures that I see are people in fragments, bodies in fragments, lives in fragments. But what I also see are the incredible connections of people who have nothing in common other than their humanity. Perhaps out of this senseless act of violence, we will be reminded of that which joins together. After all, the race that matters most is the human race.

At the close of a conference in Bogata, we retreat to Cartagena for three days of rest and relaxation and—of course. adventure. After all, isn’t this the city where Michael Douglas chased emerald thieves and won the heart of Kathleen Turner? (Surprise! While the script kept throwing out Cartagena, the movie was shot in Mexico!) Nevertheless, the walled fortress of the old city, named by UNESCO as a world heritage site, is immediately sweltering in humidity-- a contrast to cold/wet Bogota at 10,000 feet in the Andes.  Thankfully, a heads-up from my well-traveled sister kept us out of Bocagrande (think South Beach with hundreds more beachgoers and vendors).  Bantu Hotel, a 25-unit boutique two-story, sits on a side street, within walking distance of the plaza where Gabriel Garcia Marquez perched his characters for Love in the Time of Cholera. My readers don’t need the blow-by-blow details.  Let my pictures speak of the Caribbean colors, the bougainvillea cascading from incredibly tiny pots, the fascinating door knockers urging entrance to cool atriums, and the industrious stamina of resilient vendors who try in every way to earn pesos. Poverty abounds and yet I see only three people begging. Everyone else is trying to earn a living—including the black-painted human statues who stand in the blazing sun, hoping someone will drop money in a pot in exchange for taking a picture. Resiliency! In my broken Spanish, I tell my painted fisherman that he has much courage to do what he does. Suddenly, a huge smile breaks across his face like a sunbeam after a thunderstorm. He reaches out so I can shake his hand. In a heartbeat, I know my words mean more than the pesos in the pot. Why do I not do this more? Despite all the “no gracias” I  utter to vendors wanting me to buy everything from sunhats to sunglasses, from beads to watches, from Botero replicas to knock-off oil paintings, I am never harassed or bothered. “No” just means “Next”. Another lesson to remember when my proposals are turned down! Juan Valdez coffee supplants Starbucks and ceviche becomes our daily fare. We don’t need to rely on a taxi driver and my limited English to get around. Cartagena-native Angelina Calvo, a colleague in the training & development field and now director for the undergraduate language program at the Universidad Tecnológica de Bolívar, becomes our  most gracious host and guide.  Fluent in English and French, she offers a glimpse into other worlds outside the ancient city. We feel her passion to teach English as a second language, thus increasing employment chances in the growing hospitality field. From a city made famous by Spanish galleons loaded with stolen gold to a city made infamous with its  hundreds of years of a hateful slave trade, Cartagena still evokes mystery and yes—romance. Even if one has a heart of stone.

The invitation to keynote a Human Resource Summit in Bogota, Columbia appears like a miracle from my mom who insisted—in the last few weeks of her life—“Be daring. Have an adventure.” We sit in Business Class on American from LAX, another miracle (milagro) because that fare was actually cheaper than the flexible economy fare! Within 15 minutes of takeoff, I pull out my pen to fill out the immigration form. Yikes, ink explodes from my pen in all directions, covering the form and my right hand with permanent black ink. Polished nails now look like I have changed oil, rotated tires, and dug in the dirt for years. No manner of soap & water or hand sanitizer dims the charcoal color. The flight attendant suggests vodka. “Why not?” We all laugh. Other people drink while I soak a rough wash cloth with Absolute and wrap it around my hand. You just have to laugh. I promise the flight attendant a cut of the profits if we create a new ink remover called Vanishing Vodka. In Bogota, my husband and I meet up with another speaker from the U.S., Joe Robinson and his wife Marcia. Outside, the driver spots my now-gray hand waving. As the smallest one, I am wedged next to the pile of luggage that with each bump or right turns begins to bury me. You have to laugh. América Empresarial proceeds to turn the Bogota Sheraton into a worker-intense, trade-show-heavy, production-impressive event. I meet with my interpreter, Sebastian, a thin, intense, and incredibly brilliant linguist who becomes my alter ego for almost two hours. I can’t help but wonder how the audience feels about a male voice coming out of my mouth, particularly when I mention my Bill and our 33 years of celebrating “montheraries”. You have to laugh. I love to ask questions. A smile and a question evoke much information as well as evoke patience when events don’t go as planned.  I imagine how much worse the traffic would be if there were not a law that only cars with even-numbered license plates could drive on even-numbered days and visa versa. I discover that married couples wear their wedding bands on their right hand. I discover that despite cracked and uneven sidewalks, women adore enormous high heels. Trash barrels are small so the burros with sidesaddles can be loaded to cart away refuse.  And the six-inch step up and down the oldest cathedral in Columbia (Candelaria area) is required to keep out the rain water torrent that creates a river of refuse on the street. Bogota is a city of contrast. Security in the form of military, police and private guards, are as common as stars on a clear night. Yet at the national airport, we stroll through security without disrobing, shedding shoes, showing liquids, or taking out computers.   Go figure. And you just have to laugh.

Who can resist the constantly “smiling” face of a dolphin whose intelligence and acrobatic skill have delighted humans for centuries? Whether through the legends of sailors rescued by these marine mammals or through frescoes found on the walls of ancient Minoan palaces, humans continue to be intrigued by dolphins. I am no exception. Nor is my 13 year-old granddaughter Siena. Together, we showed up at the Dolphin Research Center (DRC) where a colony of Atlantic bottlenose dolphins call the lagoons of the Gulf of Mexico home.  Here, DRC researchers and trainers care for dolphins who have to come to them because of injuries or because prior captivity deemed them “non-releasable.”  The Center is a not-for-profit education and research facility dedicated to promoting the coexistence between marine mammals and humans and the environment we share. Through research and education, we begin to understand the world of the dolphin and can study cognition, physiology and husbandry. As a management consultant, I became fascinated with the corollary between engagement for high performance in order to create a resilient organizational life and engagement and high performance in the watery world of the dolphin. To gain the trust and performance of dolphins as well as people, here are five lessons we might all do well to remember: Know everyone’s name and something unique about each one. Set everyone up for success. Build skill levels. Provide more stimulation for top performers. Allow for fun and individuality. Lesson #1: Know everyone’s name and something unique about each one.  At DRC, researchers tell dolphins apart by their coloring, their movements, and call each by their name. A special shape on a stick is lowered in the water and every dolphin knows which one belongs to him or her. In organizations, I’ve observed managers who do not know the names of their employees, can’t tell you one thing unique about them, and send group messages that don’t take individuality into account. This anonymity is compounded in a virtual world.  Sadly, that virtual world becomes the fallback way of communicating even if the person is sitting in the next cubicle.  A great manager/leader knows that every virtual team must at least start with a face-to-face meeting  (or video face-to-face) and a personal sharing of more than resume data.  A great manager/leader finds ways to highlight each person so they feel singularly recognized. Lesson #2:  Set everyone up for success.  At DRC, researchers and trainers make sure that before asking a dolphin to do something “more”, they have allowed the dolphin to be successful in a current task. When the new “request” is made, the trainer makes sure that not every element is strange and so there’s a modicum of comfort. In organizations, goals are sometimes changed before employees have a chance to experience and celebrate success.  The bouncing ball is never caught.  Frustration results.  Likewise, when responding to the demands of a changing business world, a great manager/leader makes sure that at least some element of prior success is brought into play. For example, Apple used the technology of the I-Phone to create and expand into the world of the I-Pad. Lessons #3: Build skill levels.  At DRC, researchers and trainers break apart a task or a research project into smaller components and observe dolphins while adding the next step only after seeing successful completion of the first. Different dolphins also learn at different rates. In organizations, great managers/leaders don’t expect 100% proficiency from the starting gate. Instead, they watch for building blocks of performance.  By observing and listening for such blocks, a manager/leader also knows whether an employee can, in fact, do the assigned task.  That manager/leader must also know what is the time frame for accomplishment. Not everyone is suited for specific tasks. Pulling the plug too late can be as dangerous as pulling the plug too soon! Lessons #4: Provide more stimulation for top performers.  At DRC, some of the dolphins were stronger and quicker than others. Dolphin Tanner would become bored if not offered enough stimulation. He loves the cognitive challenge of imitating while blindfolded with soft latex cups. (International Journal of Comparative Psychology, 23,671-688).  Without stimulation and challenge, Tanner “checks out” of his work. Organizationally, humans are no different. Skilled performers become bored and apathetic if not invited to explore what might be the next growth opportunity. A great manager/leader watches for performers who have “checked out”.  Increased stimulation might be just the answer. Lesson #5: Allow for fun and individuality.  Dolphin Talon is a grandchild of Flipper, one of the stars from the television show by the same time. Talon literally squeals with excitement every time he makes an incredibly high jump and puts an extra rotation into his flip. Dolphin Calusa is a jokester, hiding the target poles so trainers have to ask her to go find them. And Molly is my special “dolfriend.”  Yes, I adopted this 50 year-old older marine mammal with scars from a former life under her flippers.  She is into accessorizing and has a collection of colored scarves that people have brought her! When Siena gave Molly the command to “Bring me a gift,” Molly came back with an orange and red silk scarf over her snout.  Siena was thrilled. We learned this does not happen often. Molly has been known to suddenly appear with a scarf over her dorsal, one on her nose, and another on her flipper. And to this day, divers who inspect the lagoon have NO idea where she hides her accessories! We are all like the dolphins, wanting to add some color, fun and personality into our workday. A great manager/leader makes space for humor, laughter, and originality of expression.  In fact, it is the laughter and spontaneity that keep researchers, trainers, and the many volunteers at Dolphin Research Center coming back for more. As we drove back to Miami and our long flight back to California, Siena and I realized we had laughed and learned. We watched with wonder. And we knew that places like the Dolphin Research Center allowed us to also embrace our own humanity. “The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of humanity.”