Thunderstorms were rolling across Biscayne Bay when my taxi pulled partially under the portico.  The driver popped open the trunk and a grinning bellman ran to the rear of the car. He motioned to the driver to move forward. “I didn’t want you to get wet, Ms. Eileen,” grinned the bellman as he helped me out of the car. “You read my luggage tag,” I exclaimed as her grinned back.  How smart, I thought. At least he didn’t attempt to pronounce my crazy last name! “Do you have your cell phone with you?”, he asked as he escorted me up the stairs. I fumbled for it, thinking he was going to give me some new-fangled way to check in. “Oh no,” he laughed. “It’s just that so any guests hop out of cabs and leave their phone behind. I make sure and note the taxi number in case you forgot it.” Meet Bill Castillo, my new friend for the next 2 days. Every time I walk out of  the hotel, Bill spies me and comes running over to greet “Ms. Eileen.” Now—keep in mind that I travel with a roll-a-board suitcase. There is nothing for him to help me with. No huge suitcases. No cartons of books. There’s no financial gain for him. But, he assumed a leadership role for his front-of-the-hotel position. Great leaders know they create the environment. Great leaders know that calling someone by name—with welcome and sincerity—is a powerful, yet simple gesture. On a day when the stock market fell over 600 points and Congress can only respond with divisive name-calling, Bill Castillo called my name and added  a touch of cheer to my day. P.S. He will get a tip—regardless.

Dr. Steve Frisch, Psy.D. has written an article "How To Cope With Change".  He shares many of my views and a particular quote I liked is "We create comfort in our lives by striking a balance between all the things that pull and tug at our time and attention. A fancy word for this balance is homeostasis. And, as you no doubt experience from time to time, change upsets the apple cart by disrupting the careful balance of consistency and predictability that you’ve struck in your life." Change can be disruptive at best and life changing at worst.  If you need help coping with change you might find the article by Dr. Frisch helpful.

Anne Mulcahy - former President and CEO responsible for the dramatic turnaround of Xerox Corporation - took the stage at Boston's World Trade Center to kick off Simmons Leadership Conference. Her humility and authenticity shone through a tale of just how the company surprised everyone on Wall Street.  Here are some of her thoughts which resonated to my leadership mindset: Don't mistake optimism for satisfaction. Keep at it. Crisis is a motivator. You can't get out of it - you move through it. Timeliness trumps perfection. Just do itTake the long view. Really listen. Great leaders pay close attention to employees at ALL levels and to customers. People need hope. Create a picture of five years' down the line and write the story in present tense. Give it to everyone to read. She now fills her days in towns and villages through the world but not in a glamorous gown and hotel suite. Au contraire. This buy-my-shoes-at-Banana Republic executive chairs the efforts of Save the Children. From Ethiopia to the Appalachian hamlets, Save the Children works for a vision of a world in which every child attains the right to survival, protection, development and participation.

"Trust people to do their jobs and they will setup up to the next level of performance and collaboration.  Sure, letting go is tough.  But holding back can be disastrous.  If you maintain too much control, people look to you and not to each other when the next storm comes.  You can give away control while staying clearly visible, the entire team grows in strength and confidence." - Angel Martinez, President, The Rockport Company

For 15 long days, Mom refused food and water, shrinking her already tiny self into maybe a scant 80 pounds. Whatever energy she had left, when she wasn’t sleeping, was reserved to nod yes and no to questions and mouth the words, “I love you too.”  Kneeling beside her bed, with my face close to hers, I told her again, “I love you.” “I love you too,” Mom whispered. “I love you three and four,” I responded, watching a smile and small chuckle wash over her face. It was the last smile I would see. But even if she slipped the surly bonds of earth and crossed the sky on rainbow-colored wings, she made sure that her messages of comfort would continue… unexplainable messages that I quietly offer to all of us who believe life is indeed a continuum. Throughout her last days and nights, I’d give her tiny kisses pressed in her sunken cheek or across her now unlined forehead. “Butterfly kisses, Mamacita.  Get rid of this cocoon. Go fly. You’re a butterfly among all the flowers of heaven. Indeed, flying was Mom’s passion from her days as a WWII Women’s Air Force Service Pilot-WASP. The morning Mom died, I stepped outside Aegis Assisted Living to answer my cell phone. Talking to my assistant Bonnie, I suddenly glanced up.  A gorgeous Monarch butterfly was practicing touch-and-go landings on the flowers! “Bonnie, a butterfly!” She quickly responded. “The native Americans believed that the butterfly is a sign from a soul.  Now watch for coins at your feet.” I never understood the significance of coins but then again, I had never heard about the butterfly. Later that day, when we’ve cleaned out her room, my twin brother and I finally go home, numb and heavy hearted yet grateful for our Mom’s amazing life and love for us. We want nothing more than to walk down to the beach in the brilliant California sunshine. As we near the bluff top overlooking the Pacific, my eyes sweep downward:  a quarter!  I’ve walked this path for 32 years and never seen even a penny. “John, look!”  I held the quarter up to the sky and said, “Ok, Mama—how about two whales?” Yes, my friends. Just as John and I reached the bluff to gaze across this expanse of blue, two gray whales spouted on their journey south to San Ignacio Lagoon in the Baja..  While it is the season for migrating whales, it has been years since I have seen any during my constant beach runs. Mom started off my January reminding me that life is nothing if not a daring adventure. ***  Now, she tells me to pay attention, to watch with eyes of wonder and mystery. L’Chaim. To life.

“A community first and a company second.”  Not words you’d expect to hear from an organization that ten years ago was bankrupt, being sued, and losing more than 40% of its employees every year. But in the mind of Kent Thiry, Chairman and CEO of DaVita, that’s exactly what it took to turn a losing enterprise into a $6 billion company with 35,000 teammates across the United States. DaVita (which is Italian for “giving life”) is one of the largest kidney dialysis companies in the nation. According to the November issue of T+D Magazine, Thiry began with the end in mind: not profit but rather a community.  He stated a dream and then enrolled each employee into articulating what it means to be a healthy community that not only has a social contract with each other but also is a place where an individual’s dreams of a special place to work can be realized. In fact, in the middle of the dramatic business turn-around, the company’s name was conceived in a democratic process by teammates who rallied together to create a shared mission and core values. As someone who passionately believes that great leadership comes from recognizing and engaging the heart, mind and spirit of every stakeholder, I found myself silently cheering as I discovered more about DaVita. Steve Priest, the chief wisdom officer and senior vice president of operations at DaVita, writes “DaVita does dialysis but we are not about dialysis. We are about the lives of our teammates, our patients, our physicians, and our communities. If we add value to their lives, they will add value to the lives of others…when this happens, the DaVita Village lives.” For more information, visit astd.org/TD/eprints and reference the November issue.

Most search engines would have you believe it is the simple ability to display good coping skills during difficult times.  Resilience goes much deeper than that.  For some people, resilience is almost always an easy thing.  Knock them down and they pop right up again.  For others, it's not so simple.  They struggle and their lack of resilience can cause emotional and physical symptoms.  To go deeper into understanding resilience you must examine the psychology involved.  To learn more read the article "Psychological Resilience" at Wikipedia.

There’s something about the United States idea of a hero: we love the come-back kid. Rocky Balboa made Sylvester Stallone a star and we applaud bootstrap startups, rags to riches stories, and the come-from-behind underdog. Even the Constitution of the United States was created in such a way that it could be modified. The Founding Fathers (probably prompted by a few founding mothers) knew that the initial document would be far from perfect and that subsequent amendments would make it “more right”. What is needed are intelligent failures—failures that become learning opportunities. It means transcending ownership of an idea and letting go of ego attachment. It means seeking from 360 degrees of difference and then stepping out and trying. Today, Congress would jeopardize all of us by their rigidity born from ideology. By floating all or nothing ideas, we’re enslaved to responses that don’t take into account a 360 degree input. I love it that USA TODAY started running a series on what we could learn from other countries. We don’t have it right. We have failed in many areas. But instead of pointing a finger, could we instead embrace the freedom of failure and become intelligent and creative about our future. Share This Post

OK, so let it be know: I love dark chocolate. Not milk chocolate. Dark. The darker the better. I must admit, when I walked into my sleeping room at the Grand America in Salt Lake City—so weary from traveling and speaking in so many different cities—chocolate was NOT on my mind. Surprise! There on the table beside the sofa, perched in miniature splendor, was a baby grand chocolate piano complete with three more tiny chocolate. So delicate. So perfect. And for once—I resisted eating the confection. Some things just bring joy in their cunning appearance. I carefully put it in my extra plastic bag to carry it home and show my food and beverage husband.

For the best few days, as I  made my early morning run along the beach and across the headlands that overlook Dana Point Harbor, I have kept a sharp lookout on the ocean. The ocean has been flat, pacified, and still: perfect for finding the spouts of the California gray whales as they make their annual migration. This weekend and next is the annual Dana Point Festival of the Whales. Alas. No whales! To be sure, they are somewhere in that vast blue sea but it appears that a strong current onshore might be pushing their huge bodies further away from the coast. Guess these mammals didn't get the memo that this was a command performance and thousands would be on hand to cheer their journey.  Reminds me of the swallows that are supposed to come back to Capistrano every March.  Nope.They don't show up either. The swallows now prefer to nest in the overhanging eves at Mission Viejo Mall.  Perhaps Nordsrom is a bigger draw than the Mission of San Juan. No matter. The humans will continue to gather. I rather like the notion that we can't command nature to appear at our beck and call. Whether a whale or a swallow - it puts us in our place to realize that the natural world responds to its own urgings. Humility is good for the soul. And so are the gatherings of art, music, and parades that accompany festivals. Happy Sunday.

Researchers have been looking at what happens to our bodies and brains when we walk in woods, in the mountains or by the sea. This study is called ecopsychology. I didn’t make it up!  The Japanese have been studying this for years! Results? People do better on tests involving memory or attention after trekking through the woods than after walking in a city. People have increased levels of physical and mental energy as well as a greater sense of well being after walking along an outdoor path beside a stream. It gives your multitasking brain a break. Time slows down. Stress levels are reduced. Blood pressure and heart rate subside. In short… get up and out (side) for great benefit. If you can't get out to walk in the mountains, consider purchasing my book Gifts From The Mountain!

From the U.S. Army Twitter Stream:  “When bad things happen through hardships, we make a conscious decision to either be resilient or give up.” What can you do to be more resilient?