From the second-story flagstone porch, I see “my” mountain. It’s small by mountain standards: just a 4.5-mile trail from sea level to the top where a ridgeline serves as a spine along the Santa Barbara coast. Every time I come to my retreat center, climbing the ridge has been my tradition. Some 12 years’ of a tradition. It takes a good four hours and along the way, I have plenty of time to think, observe, and just plain breathe. It’s a lonely trail: steep, heavily wooded, overgrown with bushes, and so very hot. But the view from the top is worth it. The three-days of subsequent muscle pain in my legs also assuages any guilt for remaining mostly sedentary for the rest of the time. Alas. This year, large posters placed at the trailhead warn of mountain lions within the area. Aggressive mountain lions have moved south since fires in Goleta destroyed their habitat. “Don’t hike alone. Have rocks in your pockets. Don’t run.”Are they nuts? No one is here to hike with me. Rocks in my pockets? Like I can hike with brick-size stones? Don’t run? Good luck. The warning continues: “They attack mostly from behind. Don’t take animals or children.” Great. The trail is narrow with blind corners. I can’t see ahead or behind me. At my size, I’d qualify as cat food. OK. I now have power walks and daily runs along the winding roads of Montecito. It’s not the same. That’s good. Time for me to break patterns. What a great metaphor for this time in my life, our workplaces, and our world. Maybe it is time to change: To sleep on a porch instead of a luxurious bedroom. To share a bathroom. To discover how little I really need and to be grateful in that revelation. Besides, I will find other mountains to explore. What change are you confronting?

Not a misspelling. I do mean “maid”. You know—a housekeeper. Leadership is what I see in the three times now that Angelica has come to our house to clean. I hope she stays on my payroll until one of us retires! All leadership starts with self-leadership as serving as a role model for others. If I had a team of cleaners I would make her the Queen of the crew! Here’s why: She calls before coming to confirm the time and date. She takes initiative and sees what needs to be done—finding more than I ever thought possible. She literally takes off her shoes to feel for dirt on the floor. Last week, she cleaned my office first—while I was gone—so that I could jump back in it as soon as I returned. I didn’t ASK her to do it. She just made a smart choice. She pulled everything out of the china closet, telling me that last month she did the other cabinet and this month, she’d tackle the closet. I believe she would alphabetize my spice drawer and pantry if she had more time! And when she leaves six hours later—my not-very-large house sparkles along with her good-by grin. Share Angelica’s story with your team. How do they measure up? In fact, makes me wonder if I need to sharpen my client service. I won’t take off my shoes and skate across your floor… but I will help you dust off your leadership skills and tackle whatever lurks in a closet that might hold your team back. Call me at 949-496-8640 to discuss.

Despite an economic slowdown and widespread layoffs, companies cannot afford to lose the talent war. In a knowledge-based, talent-centric global economy driven by ideas, the company with the best talent wins. Period. Jettisoning employees in financial tough times can very well result in losing industrious producers, top talent, longtime workers, and top managers. Such shortsightedness can be costly on many fronts. The cost of recruiting talented workers typically runs 70-200% of their annual salaries. A loss of sales staff can hurt a company's bottom line. Loose productive people and the customer might be penalized. And the resulting morale decline can take a toll on employee engagement-being fully connected with producing great results for an organization. A company doesn't make profits. People do. So here's the operative question: are job eliminations, workforce realignments strategically driven, designed to foster long-term growth? Do these practices allow organizations to reposition themselves competitively and take advantage of new opportunities? If so, then this is the message that must be spoken, written, lived from the top down. And retention-re-engagement- efforts become imperative. It's too late to undo the layoffs that have already happened. Let's focus on how to rebuild the broken communities that are left behind.

STRATEGY # 1: CONDUCT A TALKING STICK MEETING A talking stick meeting allows everyone to hear a wide variety of ideas and inputs because each person who "holds the stick" is assured free speech, no reprisals, no humiliations, and no interruptions.   Many native American tribes used the stick as a way of allowing all voices to be heard. Talking Stick Meeting Checklist: Create a focus question to present to the group, assuring them that all are invited to speak, without interruption or humiliation. Form a real circle with everyone in the circle. This brings equality When everyone who wishes to has spoken, summarize the conversation and what you will do with the information. STRATEGY #2:  SEEK OUT THE "ORANGE BATONS" If you happen to get a window seat on a plane that is coming into the terminal, look out and find the man or woman who is guiding a 737 aircraft (weighing over 90,710 pounds) into position. Those small orange batons wield plenty of authority in the moment.  And well they should. You see, there's a line painted on the tarmac to show exactly where the front wheel of the 737 MUST stop.  Otherwise, passengers at the gate literally would have a pilot in their laps. The problem:  the pilot sits too high to see that line. The pilot depends upon the "orange Batons" -those closest to the situation-to move the craft into position. Everyone has orange batons in the workplace. The higher up an organization a manager sits, the more crucial is the conversation.  As customers, we've all been privy to disgruntled customer service reps who can't help us because senior managers have created practices that tie their hands. Recently, I asked to speak to the support service personnel on a Delta Sky Miles Account. The agent informed me that even THEY can't TALK to support personnel. "We can only use FAX and Courier service," was the response.  I was angry and so was the agent.  "They" had made decisions without asking the Orange Batons what the ramifications might be. STRATEGY #3  PAY ATTENTION TO LITTLE DAVIDS When Patrick Harker, now the former Dean of Wharton School, was asked what made the critical difference in the school's most successful fund-raising campaign ($425 million in six years), he replied that he made it a priority to engage the next generation of alumni leadership. Listening to the voice of David is a tradition from the Middle Ages and the Benedictines. The abbot of a monastery made decisions after getting the input from all the monks, beginning with the youngest monk. Had the elders in the Old Testament listened to the young kid with the slingshot, the giant Goliath would have been dispatched quickly. Little David was right, but it took time for the tribe to understand that young (or new) did not mean "unskilled." Who are the newest and/or youngest on the team-your David's? It is often the newest members who ask the most discerning questions. They are not jaded by politics, the past, or protocol. Ask them for their opinions. Tell them that you expect them to teach you something at the end of three months. I guarantee that those employees will search high and wide to bring you innovation or, at the very least, an insight into some of your procedures, products, or services. "Words of wisdom are spoken by children at least as often as scientists." -James Newman, American Astronaut STRATEGY #4 LAUGHTER LIFTS THE LOAD In tough times, humor is an essential survival skill. Talk can also be funny. Not the sarcastic biting humor of put-downs and inside jokes, but rather the humor that can lighten a difficult situation or put something in perspective. A travel agency was known for helping its agents get through difficult customers by awarding the Order of the SALMON. At the end of the week, agents would know which agent had the most challenging week with customers yet still managed to keep a positive interaction going. With much fanfare, the agent explained the challenge and was urged to exaggerate and use as much humor as possible. She was then awarded a plastic salmon for her ability to SWIM UP STREAM. Being able to talk about the week, laugh at the difficulties, and be rewarded for staying calm helped generate both fun and connection within the office. Laughter can put people at ease if it is used to acknowledge what everyone is thinking. I was asked to speak at a convention in which the main session room temperature hovered around 50 degrees. People were wrapped in tablecloths. By the end of the second day, it still had not warmed up.  When it was my turn to talk, I welcomed them by saying, "Welcome to the land of the frozen chosen." Gales of laughter and applause burst out. It made a point. The attendees were CHOSEN to be there. It was a privilege. Humor also lets us divide the serious from the mundane.  Yes-the room was way too cold. But in the scheme of things, it was not as important as gathering to work out a new marketing strategy.  Humor can also point out the trite and the silly things we all do in work, relieve tension, and probably improve a process.  When one group acted out a very funny skit around the various voice mail doom loops a customer had to go through in order to get to a human being, everyone laughed...and the system changed in short order. BREAK THE SILENCE The last challenge will be pulling people away from their PDAs and text messaging to actually have a conversation. A number of organizations are experimenting with "topless" meetings-as in laptop-less meetings.  San Francisco design firm, Adaptive Path, has also put a crackdown on "crackberries", as President Todd Wilkens calls them in his company-wide blog.  He claims that people now look each other in the eye, develop closer connections and meetings are more productive. Productivity? Performance?   If the talk quotient is increase, you bet.  Talk might very well become the golden key.

According to Wikipedia transformational leadership is an approach that is defined as leadership that creates valuable and positive change in the followers with the end goal of developing followers into leaders. A transformational leader focuses on "transforming" others to help each other, to look out for each other, to be encouraging and harmonious, and to look out for the organization as a whole.  What can you do today to change your leadership style to be more transformational?  How can you work with people in a different way to help them develop their leadership skills?

Welcome home!  These two small words carry potent possibilities for creating a connection that evokes loyalty and teamwork.   Yet, one seldom thinks of "welcome home" in the context of work.  In fact, it is only through recent incidents that I have become acutely aware of the power this gesture holds. Scene ONE: a world away in the remote regions of the western Himalayas. Our team had been warned of the dangers in crossing the white water rivers fed by glacier melt. The crossing would be on foot and had to be done as early as possible in the day-before the sun would begin to melt the ice pack and the rivers rise within minutes. Our team of locals had gotten us up before dawn-sending us briskly on our way after a hot breakfast. They stayed behind to pack up gear, tent, and load the mules.  We made it across the frigid water by forming a human chain. Our team was too late. They had to spend the night on a rock pile, in below freezing temperatures, and cross at 5:30 am the next day. My husband and I were up early that morning with the head guide. Suddenly, we heard a shout and in the distance saw the figures of our team coming down the slope. We cheered, waved, hollered and wrapped them in an embrace with the words, "Welcome Home."  We stood around beaming at each other. For the rest of the trek, this team seemed even more helpful, solicitous and full of extra effort for those of us who welcomed them home. I frankly had not made the connection until another incident happened. Scene TWO: a combination assisted living and memory care facility in Southern California. Mom, age 93, had fallen and broken her hip. Now, two months’ from the time an ambulance sped her away to the closest hospital, I wheeled her back through the front door. Her mind and body had taken a terrible assault coupled with embolisms and a decreasing ability to emotionally or mentally cope. She would not be going back to her upstairs studio but rather into the rooms behind the locked door. As soon as we entered, the receptionist jumped up to give Mom a big hug and said "welcome home." Other care managers came up and knelt down and hugged her. When we walked down the hall toward the locked doors, residents who had known Mom were sitting in the activities room. They shouted to her and applauded.   As I pushed her down the hall to her new room, more care managers came up to us Lastly, at the door of her new room were balloons and a big sign, "Welcome Home, Mary."   I cried. Any lingering doubt about the wisdom of this move vanished.  Despite the fact Mom can’t remember them and alternates in moods that range from pleasant to belligerent, this team of caregivers continues to serve with compassion and care. They come from different parts of the facility to tell me they are so glad our whole family has come home. Funny. The first day I left her, the security guard at my building hollered out "welcome home." I swear I had never heard that. Welcome Home Insights for Leaders How do you make employees feel as if they are welcomed home?  One surgeon was overheard telling a custodian, "Hey, Frank. Glad to see you this morning. I never worry about the cleanliness of this hospital when I see you here."   Don’t you think the employee felt as if he was, "welcomed home"?  I do. Do you notice when employees are absent-whether for illness, travel, or even vacation?  And when they come back, do you welcome them home? Sounds trite, but I am beginning to think it is the small things that help us feel valued. As the economy turns around, you might very well want to bring back employees who have been laid off.  How will you welcome them home? What about your customers or clients?  How do you welcome them home? One bank teller not only didn’t welcome a long-time customer "home" but insisted that he could not validate a parking ticket unless the customer made a transaction. The customer was so angry, he made a transaction: closed an account that had several thousand dollars in it. Welcome Home Insights for Employees There are some people who bring joy by entering a room and others by leaving. Which one are you? If we had not cared for the staff at Mom’s residence and if she had not been kind, trust me-they would not have welcomed her home. Watch out for negativity, mean-spirited comments, and "all-about-me" behavior.  Behavior like this, even if one is a solid performer by way of numbers, will not generate a "welcome home" feeling. In one law firm, the top rainmaker was fired because the managing partners determined that his behavior so undermined the office that they were better off without him. Always leave well. Should you leave for another company, another career or even retirement-make sure you leave speaking only well of your employer. Who knows-you might want to return someday. Remember:  home is not given but made. What will you do to make your work a place in which people feel welcomed home?

For days now, these few words from this classic Kris Kristofferson song, Me & Bobbie McGee, spinning repeatedly through my brain. It’s really been bugging me. And why these words? Why now? Why me? Could loss actually free us? Could we be imprisoned by material choices, by relationships, by work that pays the bills but leaves a hole in our spirit, maybe even by memories? I’m beginning to think that it does. Long ago and far away I came out to California with only what would fit in the trunk of a Chevy Camero.  If you remember a Camero, that sure wasn’t much! I rented a tiny garage apartment and bought a used sofa for $25. My sister gave me four place settings of old dishes and silverware. I had two sets of sheets and two sets of towels. I had left behind, in Florida, a house with Ethan Allen furniture, a tennis court in the backyard, and a broken marriage. I have never felt so free! Simplicity makes choice so easy. In light of the current economic realities, I’m being reminded that owning stuff can be a burden. My July 4th has me thinking what I can discard so as to have more freedom. A good friend just got laid off after 30 years. Only has enough money for maybe three months. Her husband is in construction and she has twin six year-olds. Many of us would be in deep depression. But Marian is ecstatic! “It’s my time now to pursue what I really want to do!”  She is convinced that now she can actively pursue her dreams instead of being tied to a job she had grown to despise. She knows it won’t be easy but the energy and enthusiasm with her newfound freedom is propelling her efforts. (She’ll tell you about Arbonne!) My July 4th finds me recommitting  to accepting only that work which feeds my spirit and not just the bank account. Up the road, my 94-year-old mother continues her progression into memory loss. She’s no longer haunted by mistakes and failures.  She doesn’t remember the pain of a broken hip, the repeated trips to the emergency room, or even the numerous hospitalizations. Instead, she’s free to experience only the moment and make it what ever she wants. So she can tell me that she was walking on the beach the other day. Her wheelchair belies that statement, but who cares? She says that down the hall is someone from York, Pennsylvania. She just doesn’t know who it is. She’s free to make up friends. My July 4 reminds me that the only memory is in the moment and I can choose to make it whatever I want. That’s freedom. And of course, one cannot come to this day without remembering the loss of men and women who have given life and limb to give us the ultimate freedom: a land where we can choose our destiny.

I love it when one connection leads to another.  Sid Jaffe is president of Advantage Consulting Inc, a top-notch DC-area firm that trains companies in the fine art of government contracting and proposal writing. Sid, in turn, introduced me to Duane Grove, one smart-as-heck consultant who is as home with quoting philosophers as he is with detailing strategic activities.  (You can read more about him at the end of this article.) I read an article that Duane wrote and found it to have such universal meaning that I asked to share it with my readers. Here it is, with his permission. Six Words to Banish From Your Organization By Duane Grove Poet E.E. Cummings isn’t always the easiest author to follow.  His writings are often veiled in deeper meaning.  In his poem, “Effie’s Head,” he describes an encounter with God at the death of Effie.  There is tremendous wisdom in this poem that calls to mind the great intentions of humankind often thwarted by lack of action. Cummings speaks to six crumbs as God looks inside Effie’s coffin, each which speak to what could have been but never was.  These six crumbs (or words) are ones you should banish from your organization.  They are:  may, might, should, could, would, and must. These words used in organizations are barriers to action.  I “may” be able to get the task done by the deadline speaks to a lack of commitment.  You “might” consider using the prototype only speaks to what is possible but lacks specificity on how to take action.  I “should” change the proposal to address the customer’s need for schedule flexibility only talks to what options you have but no path to implement them.  The team “could” talk to the customer to see what they need has no commitment to closure and lacks accountability.  I “would” like to implement the product change to align with the market will never get you to realize the potential.  Finally, when you “must” finish a task, you speak to the obligations you have to address but lacks the energy to make them happen. How many times have you left a meeting believing that others (or yourself) are committed to action only to find things left unfinished just when you needed them?  In my experience, discussions at meetings are often filled with these six words.  When used to evaluate alternatives, these words can open doors, but when it comes to commitment, they have no place in the discourse.  Are these six words keeping you from making progress?  If so, make a commitment to eliminate them from your vocabulary when you know it is action that is required.  Intention alone—no matter how well meaning—is the enemy of results. Duane Grove is the founder of Connect2Action, a strategy execution specialist at the intersection of employee engagement and executive leadership, igniting innovation as a lever to accelerate growth.  Duane has over 15 years in developing and executing strategic plans and spearheading new business areas ranging in size from several million to $2.5 billion in annual sales.  He has extensive experience in aerospace & defense with multiple assignments over the last 30 years.

The most significant word in employee retention is “engagement”.  Too many workers are present but their imagination, spirit and creativity have departed out the door with disillusion. Don't make these five mistakes when dealing with employees: 1.  Be a know-it-all and discount the input of others. A new senior level manager was brought into an organization. When department heads met with him, he proclaimed “lower cost, higher quality, more sales”. He asked for their input and then immediately dismissed whatever they said. The fact that he had never worked in this particular industry had already prompted skepticism. The department heads, whose support and knowledge are critical for a turnaround, have departed in droves while those who are staying just shrug their shoulders and say they’ll hunker down until they find something else. 2.  Never admit mistakes. The worn phrase from the old movie Love Story proclaimed, “Loves means never having to say you’re sorry.”  As wrong as that advice is for intimate relationships, it is just as stupid in business.  When ego and arrogance replace the realities of a decision, employees watch in dismay. The operating plan becomes mired in finding ways to justify action rather than admitting error and looking for a new, more promising direction. The cost overruns on building a large golf course were huge because the senior manager refused the input of his department heads and then spent thousands trying to cover up design flaws. 3.  Act first and think later. The ready, fire, aim approach of shoot-from-the-hip-and-think-later is all too common in our 24/7, do-it-now world.  The results can be disastrous - particularly if the vehicle for action is e-mail.  E-mail now stands for escalation and error. The person who blasts off a response without carefully considering the tone and the names on the distribution list can find himself spending time and energy undoing collateral damage. The more critical the relationship and/or the outcome of the action, the greater wisdom is in carefully measured actions and more likely than not, face-to-face conversation. 4.  Create an inner circle that thinks alike. Howell Raines, executive editor of the NY TIMES, was the subject of a 17,000-word article that appeared in the NEW YORKER. It was a brutal expose, painting a documented story of him as an arrogant bully who played favorites, listened only to a few people and pummeled far too many. When folks outside of his inner circle tried to tell him their concerns regarding Jayson Blair, the now infamous fabricator of new stories, Raines ignored them.  5.  Say one thing and do another. A high-tech manufacturing company in Southern California announced significant layoffs because of poor performance. Every budget item was to be scrutinized. The following weekend, the CEO took the top management team away to the Ritz Carlton in Monarch Beach so they could ponder these new realities. Care to guess how fast the employees got wind of this “cost-saving” move?  Or how about the professional services firm that proclaimed mandatory attendance and then repeatedly ignored a senior consultant who only showed up when he “felt like it”. If you want to model truth and trust, ask the people around you how often you engage in these behaviors. And if you are not happy with the answers, DO something different. You might also need to bring in an external coach to help you with the process. The results: you win and the organization wins.

The United Kingdom-based Institute of Personnel and Development recently released a study showing that investing in people rather than technology makes a far greater contribution to an organization’s bottom line. The seven-year study of more than 100 medium-sized companies found that the way people are managed and developed accounts for 19 percent of the variation in profitability between companies and 18 percent of the productivity difference. R&D accounted for only 8% percent of the variation in profitability between companies and 6 percent of the difference in productivity while new technology, quality and competitive strategies each accounted for 1 percent difference. In short, meaningful results don’t come in a plug-and-play box. Rather, engaging the contribution and talents of employees is the true, sustainable key to long-term success. What does it take for engagement? It takes conversation. Not too ago, the mantra was “stop talking and get to work.” May I suggest that the new rallying cry is, “Start talking and get to work.” As technology distances us from each other, we need to find ways to have extended, meaningful interactions which allow people to voice concerns, feelings, opinion, ideas, and questions. Relationship first has risen to challenge the old task orientation. Employees want to share attitudes, beliefs, as well as workspace. Conversations begin with employee orientation and progress through a variety of programs, forums, and focused retreats. Conversations center around contribution, concerns, outcomes, and yes, fun. Let me give you some examples. Greet Street, a maker of greeting cards over the web hands, a new employee their “desk in a box”. You set up your own phone, computer and then literally start wandering the halls to talk with people. You can sit in on any meetings, make connections and finally, you create your own job title to reflect what you will bring to the company. John Chambers, CEO of Cisco, a $6 billion networking giant, hosts a monthly birthday breakfast. The purpose is not only to celebrate, but to have employees voice opinions, ask tough questions, and for Chambers to find out what’s not working. Along these same lines, Richard Block, president of AGI, a printing firm, holds “Stump the President” sessions. Any question is fair game and the employee who asks the most difficult question (as determined by a panel of employees), receives a reward (usually dinner and tickets to a Chicago Bulls game). While these are some concrete ideas, true engagement is a process of continuously learning how to create a community of diverse talents joined by a shared vision. This comes only with time and clear intention. Lastly, the heart of meaningful conversation and engagement is also a willingness to suspend judgment, to listen without ego, to challenge without malice, and to have a fanatic devotion to maintaining trust. Consider this a lifetime journey. And there are many of us who offer our services as “traveler’s aid”. [1] Workplace Visions, Jan./Feb 1998. SCHRM © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live. Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain’t Cheap…It’s Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work.  Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.

Micromanagement and lack of trust are cries often heard in today’s business arenas. In this age of accountability, downsizing, larger spans of control, complex global competition, and job uncertainty, all managers are faced with getting results through people. Managers preach empowerment and yet, if the results are not right, who gets the blame? And so, I think, the issue of trust resembles a crystal with four facets. The first facet has to do with that term “empowerment”. Too often management throws out the term without clarifying what are the limits or parameters in which employees may make critical decisions. When boundaries are not clear employees naturally think the manager is sending mixed messages. When employees feel micromanaged, they’re basically saying, “Stop looking over my shoulder I can do this. Stop checking upon me. Why must I report in every step of the way?” Good question. Why? Clarify for yourself first, and then with the employee, what is the performance outcome you need. The more quantifiable, the better. Note the word “outcome”. This is not the same as “do it MY way”. As long as you get the outcomes and results keep the team and ethics intact, who cares HOW they got the job done. Ask yourself what are your “twitching” points. That’s my term for those areas in which you have special sensitivity, where you get a knot in you stomach or the hairs stand on the back of your neck. The sensitivity might be caused by demands which your manager has placed on you. Share these demands and then find out how your colleagues can help you meet them. You might have other “twitching points”. For example, I value relationships. Form letters, bored telephone voices, disregard for returning phone calls, and impoliteness drive me crazy. These are all things which I think show a lack of concern for the relationship. If I micromanage in these areas, it could be that I have not either trained my support staff well, have hired wrong, or have failed to explicitly state my sensitivity. Another facet of trust has to do with authenticity. “At the core of becoming a leader is the need to connect one’s voice with one’s touch,” wrote Max Dupree, former chair of Herman Miller. Is what you say and what you do in line? I am constantly amazed at the systems, practices, and behaviors found in corporate America which send mixed messages. ...like the manager who claimed he had an “open door policy” but greeted anyone who entered with the statement “and this better not be a dumb question.” ...like the company which touted itself as “innovative” and yet used a one-size-fits-all budget scheme for its diverse operations. ...like the vice president who sent around articles on TQM but refused to allow employees to go for training. ...like the executive who wanted her managers to learn leadership, communication, problem-solving, team-building, and visioning in a two-day training because “learning is important.” ...like the vice president who sent around articles on TQM but refused to allow his employees off the job to attend TQM training. And the list goes on. Never, I’m convinced, intentional. And always detrimental. The third facet of trust has to do with fear. Of what are you afraid? What is your worst fear and what’s the chance of it really happening? Are there checkpoints or fail safe measures which you and your employees could put into place to short-circuit a negative outcome? And once done, relax and enjoy. As Mark Twain said, “I’ve had 103 catastrophes in my life, only two of which actually occurred.” The fourth facet of trust rests in self-reliance. We all have heard the dictum that a strength overused becomes a weakness. Perhaps our life’s experience has taught us that we depend solely by our own wits and wiles. Too many people have let us down. Or perhaps we take great pride in Frank Sinatra’s mantra “I did it my way”. Our world is too complicated and interdependent to live solely by our singular guts and brain power. We need the insights and ideas of others. Too much now lies out of our control and coronaries await for those who attempt to do it all. In the final analysis, trust is also a four-letter word; love. When people know we care about them, they respond in kind. Easy to say. Harder to do. Practice in action is the only key and trust blooms as a result. © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live. Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities.  Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.

Talk about “leaning in”. Imagine doing two combat tours in Iraq, being promoted because of “meritorious combat service”, being nominated three times as “Enlisted Woman of the Year" and then facing sexual harassment from a senior enlisted advisor. I encountered Jenna Lombardo through her story posted on Sheryl Sandberg’s LEAN IN site. Given the current details of increased sexual harassment and assaults on women within the military, I wanted to find out more about this amazing woman. Over coffee at a local Pain du Monde, this gorgeous woman spoke about how she realized there were few other women she could turn to for advice and support. Today, as a former Marine, mother, a Marine wife, student and philanthropist her response has been to create a support group called Lady Leatherneck. Through Lady Leatherneck, her goal is to bring a community of military women together through shared experiences, to counsel, and to mentor and inspire one another. In my next blog, I have asked Jenna for advice on how to handle sexual harassment.