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The Energizer:

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  • Eileen McDargh

It’s Not My Fault—It’s My Default


Sunset under the palms.

This month, I’ve focused on love relationships between people. But I’d be remiss if I neglected the most challenging person in the relationship—me! Specifically, what is the relationship I have with myself!

I just completed an 8-week virtual class with the Modern Elder Academy (MEA) started by Chip Conley, a NY Times bestselling author (Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder). Among other roles, he sits on the Advisory Board of the Stanford Center for Longevity.

Many of my readers are like me. We’re at a point in our life where suddenly, we begin to ask :

  • "Is this all there is?”

  • "Am I living a life of significance and contribution?"

  • "Where has my identity become a default position?"

  • "If I am not Eileen, the speaker, and the writer, who am I?"

Hard questions. Challenging questions. Critically important questions.


As my friend Jana Stanfield, so eloquently sang. "I’m not lost. I’m exploring".


Exploration takes time. I can’t sit at the computer and answer email, design programs, and market services day after day. Thus, the months of June and July are being devoted to looking, listening, and seeking. I see myself with my hands open and ready to receive whatever the Universe intends.


To be sure, my sweet William and I will journey to explore parts of Alaska. The natural world can offer great insights. I’ll spend one week with my twin brother and sister in our first ever sibling only retreat. We do teach each other and can serve as both mirrors and divining rods. And lastly, I’ll fly to Michigan to be with my soul sister and join her in art studios and lakeside swims.


Default is not the way to claim my Act III. Exploration, courage, and action are.

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