You might wonder how crying can have any relationship to resiliency? I believe you will find the answer in this thoughtful article written by my colleague and friend Susan Fowler. She explores crying not as sadness or despair, but rather as an emotional connection between people. Indeed, if we are to create a resilient organization, a resilient world, it is imperative that we find this connection. Susan suggests that it might as well be… music! Read and reap. When Is Crying A Good Thing? As tears welled up in my eyes, I asked myself, “What’s happening?” I was listening to a guitar ensemble play Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. I was taken aback by the intensity of my emotions to a song I’ve heard hundreds of times. You’ve heard it, too—even if you don’t know it by name—at weddings or in the background at Target. Accelerated learning studies have shown that listening to Baroque compositions such as Pachelbel’s canon, changes your breathing and heart rate, stimulates both your right and left brain, and creates conditions for enhanced learning. I play the piece during workshops. Over the years, I’ve gifted CDs of Pachelbel’s ubiquitous classic to teens and adults to help them study. My familiarity with the piece made my emotional reaction even more perplexing, especially given the group playing it: a ragtag group of 12 teenagers just learning to play together as an ensemble. To say there were a few mis-struck strings is an understatement. Yet, the music filled me with a sense of deep yearning. I found myself wondering, for what am I longing? Why do I have tears in my eyes? Curious, I turned to science. Had I experienced appoggiatura? Appoggiatura is a musical construct that, it is postulated, causes tears when the notes of the song build up tension and then resolves it with a dissonant note. Adele’s music is full of appoggiaturas. I do tear up at Adele’s songs from time to time, but that doesn’t explain what happened listening to the guitar ensemble. Their skills may have created tension, but they hardly resolved it! Besides, I hadn’t teared up to Pachelbel in the past. My epiphany came during the NCAA Basketball Playoffs. The women of Missouri State made history by ending Connecticut’s 111-game winning streak. The underdog Bulldogs of Gonzaga lost in a valiant effort to the excellence of North Carolina’s men’s basketball program. But, it was watching the video montage accompanied by Luther Vandross singing “One Shining Moment” when my eyes teared up. I wasn’t alone. Grown men admit to choking up during this ritual ending. Television ratings show that millions of viewers don’t change the channel until they watch that video and hear Luther sing. I realized, these emotions reflect what I write about every day—the three psychological needs required for us to thrive as human beings. One of those needs is for Relatedness. We satisfy Relatedness when we feel that we belong, when we can care about others and are cared about by others without ulterior motives, and when we find meaning and purpose in our everyday experiences. Music doesn’t create Relatedness or empathy. Rather, music is a vehicle that helps us tap into this fundamental truth: We are all connected. Music transports us to our emotional nature that enables us to get in touch with our humanity. In her work on resiliency, Eileen McDargh writes about how social competence and empathy are core skills for resiliency. Far from being a statement of fragility or weakness, our desire to be in social communion with others gives us strength. In “The Quietus” essay by Robert Barry, he beautifully relates a phone call with new age composer Laraaji. Barry writes, “‘Music can suggest a union of souls,’ he said in the midst of our interview. ‘You may not even realize that that’s what you’re feeling. Music can conjure up moods and feelings for the emotional body, and during that experience, a release from either congestion or release from senses of separation is accompanied by tears and crying.’ He called it ‘a coming together.’” I wasn’t tearing up over Pachelbel’s canon itself, but the music allowed me to get in touch with something more profound—the wonder of 12 hormone-driven teens coming together to co-create something of beauty. Even though I was just watching them, I felt as though I were part of the collective. I found meaning through their music. When millions of people choke up during the video signaling the end of the NCAA basketball finals, we aren’t responding to competition, or who won and who lost. The visuals combined with music capture the spirit of young people giving everything they have in a socially cooperative effort. More importantly, the video captures us in a communal experience. It doesn’t matter if we’re in the stands or sitting on the sofa, the collective “we” are touched by what the athletes’ sportsmanship, dedication, and authentic expressions of joy and sorrow represent. We come together in celebration of excellence, competence, and the best of humankind. And we feel proud. And hopeful. Whether we are listening to an off-key group of teenage guitarists or reveling in a video montage of young basketball players while Luther sings “One Shining Moment,” we come together “as one” in experiencing something meaningful. Coming together. I wonder, would the world be a better place if we all came together to cry more often over things that contribute to the greatest good? Maybe our tears would remind us of a truth that strikes at our very core: We all long to be optimally motivated, resilient, and wholly human beings—together. Susan Fowler implores leaders to stop trying to motivate people. In her latest bestselling book, she explains Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work… and What Does. Widely respected as one of the foremost thought leaders on the science of motivation, leadership, and personal empowerment, Susan is a globally sought-after speaker and consultant. Tens of thousands of people worldwide have learned from her award-winning training designs, including the Self Leadership and Optimal Motivation product lines. Susan is also the author of the bestselling Self Leadership and The One Minute Manager with Ken Blanchard and Laurie Hawkins; Achieve Leadership Genius with Drea Zigarmi and Dick Lyles; Leading at a Higher Level with Ken Blanchard; The Team Leader’s Idea-a-Day Guide with Drea Zigarmi; Empowerment with Ken Blanchard; Good Leaders, Good Shepherds with Dick Lyles; as well as audio programs on mentoring—Fostering Your Careers Most Crucial Relationships and Overcoming Procrastination.

Now that a great portion of the world has switched into "daylight savings time", a practice that continues to bewilder me as an early morning riser, I find myself pondering the resiliency principle of alignment. Alignment means that we are living in sync with what we believe is the WHY, the purpose of our life. But finding meaning requires taking time to actually ponder our life. Let’s face it—in the busyness of our world—time has been reduced to a commodity. Some of us may recall slow dancing in the 60s as the Rolling Stones wailed out "Time is on my side, yes it is." Not anymore. We all can sing the chorus: "There’s too much to do and too little time." Individually and collectively, we’ve created a commodity worthy of the New York Stock Exchange: Time. We’ve given it all the form and substance of a product for manipulation. We spend it, lose it, waste it, manage it. We’re told to make time, use time, take time, and, if we’ve had a run-in with the law, we might even "do" time. We talk about time logs, time management, time sheets, and time-outs. (Don’t you wish someone would give you one of those!) There’s a time clock, time exposure, time lapse and a time stamp. Ideas and products are time-tested, competitions are time trials, and we divide our world into time zones. It’s the great equalizer, given in singular 24-hour chunks by the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon. No amount of money can buy it, no power can hold it, no army can stop it. And one day we will all lift our eyes to the heavens and want the one thing we can no longer have: one minute more on this earth. It is my contention that this relationship with time in today’s Western culture began with the invention of time-telling devices and has been further influenced and in many ways ripped asunder by the speed of technological inventions and our response and interplay with such inventions. Technology has sped up our response time, creating a sense of urgency upon urgency and we tap our fingers in despair when the computer loads too slowly or our text message isn’t returned promptly. Here's your permission, your time out. UNPLUG! That’s right. Turn off all electronics. Everything. OK, if you have an aging parent or a child who might need you, you can keep your phone on but ONLY answer it if it is them! For this coming weekend—take at least one day where you do nothing connected with technology. Garden, walk, sleep, read (but not on a Kindle), hug, smile, and most important breath! Deeply. Again. Deeply. Let your mind wander as you ponder—what is it that brings you joy? Why are you on this earth? In this role? What do your TRUE friends say? Ask. Write the answers. And breathe. Making meaning means making time to just BE. Don’t you think it’s about time!

For 62 years, Lola Gillebaard and Hendrik Cornelis Gillebaard Sr have loved and laughed and fought and cried through all her illnesses, the birth of four HUGE boys, the death of a daughter-law, the death of far too many businesses, and the sale of their beloved home. In all of these circumstances, I have watched my dear friend Lola stumble—often literally with a leg and foot damaged at birth. She might get down, wallow in depression for awhile but then, it is always her ability to “look for the funny” that allows her to meet a new day. With dogged determination, she has pulled herself with her walker to get on a stationary bike and strengthen her leg. With equal determination, she has prodded Hank to put on his sport jacket and go down to the dances at the assisted living center. And almost always—but not every time—helped him through the fog that comes with ever-increasing dementia. It was a shock to get a call from her daughter-in-law on the very day Bill and I were to go to support her at a talent show for the local Rotary Club. Lola (age 87) had worked on her act for weeks, also trying to help first-born son, Hank, Jr in what would be his first attempt at being a stand-up comedian. “Hank just fell over at 3am after getting Lola her walker. He died instantly.” Within a few hours I was sitting beside her. She described the scene and then laughed at the fact that she was in the toilet and couldn’t easily get up. “It was the best thing,” she said over and over again. Indeed, Hank did not have to suffer the indignity that this horrid Alzheimer’s serves up. Within two days, Lola and two of her boys were writing the obituary. Lola said they laughed all the way through it… just as he and she would want. Consider these lines: “No foulplay is suspected at this time. His body was found wearing the same clothes he wore when he was born.”(Yes, Hank liked to sleep in the all-together.) “He is survived by his highly-acclaimed comedic wife, Lola and their four (known) sons."He loved the “f” word… Flying… Hendrik is also survived by his brain, as it was his wish for it to be donated to science. ..a desire he felt was a ‘no brainer.’” I asked Lola for her permission to write this. The empty loss of a life partner will never be overcome with humor. But certainly, the ability to interject laughter offers some balm to the soul. I think it also keeps us sane.

Meg Heubeck, former social studies teacher in Charlottesville, VA remains convinced that a resilient nation depends upon the ability to make civic conversation comfortable again. “We’re Americans—that’s the thing that holds us together... politics shouldn’t be something you lose family and friends over.” According to an interview in USA TODAY Jan 3, 2017, Heubeck has connected with 70,000 teachers across the nation in her role as Director of Instruction for the Youth Leadership Initiative at the University of VA’s Center for Politics. She’s given these teachers lesson plans, board games, and instructional aides to help students to understand what actually happens in Congress. Discussion, debate and compromise are all part of understanding how a democracy works. The Youth Leadership materials are available for children as young as kindergarten and is funded through a mishmash of state funds, donations, partnerships and unpaid interns. I have reached out to her to find out how we can get such materials in the hands of all adults. I know that as a natural born citizen, I am sure my understanding of the full political process is not near as strong as it should be. I agree with Heubeck that the spirit of discourse, careful listening, debate and compromise has been missing. Civic education should be a mandatory class for all citizens as it can make our democracy stronger, more resilient, and, hopefully, encourage younger people to seek public office.

The sales profession is in the midst of a perfect storm. Buyers have more power, more information, more at stake, and more control over the sales process—than at any time in history. Legions of salespeople are coming face-to-face with a cold, hard truth: what once gave them a competitive edge: controlling the sales process, command of product knowledge, an arsenal of technology, and a great pitch—are no longer guarantees of success. Yet, in the eye of this storm, an elite group of top 1 percent sales professionals are crushing it. These Ultra-High Performers are acutely aware that the emotional experience of buying from them is far more important (and powerful) than products, prices, features, and solutions. In short, to my way of thinking, the emotional experience is all about CONNECTIONS—the basis for all resiliency. I hope you will enjoy this guest post written by my colleague, Jeb Blount, who has just written a fantastic new book that takes you on an unprecedented journey into the mindsets, behaviors, and secrets of these ultra-high performers. It’s called Sales EQ. The Four Levels of Sales Intelligence The speed and complexity of the modern marketplace is the domain of intellectual agility. Ultra-high sales performers possess four types of intelligence that are tightly intertwined, each connecting, affecting, and amplifying the others. IQ—how smart you are. Fixed and baked into your DNA. AQ—how much you know. Makes IQ relevant.TQ—how fast you assimilate and leverage technology. Makes more time for human relationships.EQ—your acuity for dealing with emotions. Your own and those of others. Ultra-high performers combine high IQ, AQ, and TQ with high EQ to dominate their competitors. Innate Intelligence Your intelligence quotient (IQ) is an indicator of how smart you are. Innate intelligence is baked into your DNA. It is a talent no different than athleticism. You are either born with a certain IQ or you are not. IQ is immovable. In other words, you are as smart as you will ever be. Ultra-high sales performers are smart people. They are keen observers and have insatiable curiosity. They have the innate ability to connect disparate ideas, data, facts and patterns to develop unique and original solutions to problems—a critical competency in sales for discovery, challenging the status quo, and developing unique solutions and recommendations. In sales, however, where emotions rather than rational decision making carry the day, IQ is but part of the performance equation. Innate intelligence becomes relevant, useful, and powerful when combined with acquired, technological, and emotional intelligence. Acquired Intelligence I was delivering a two-day Sales EQ seminar for a client. On the first day, I noticed that a couple of the participants were disengaged. The rest of the group of roughly 20 people were participating and energetic. But these two were almost hostile. At lunch, I asked the sales leader if there was something going on. He confided that everyone had been excited about the training except for these two, who had complained about having to go back to training. “They think they know it all. But trust me—these guys need this badly because they are struggling to hit their numbers.” Average salespeople who think they know it all—I see it every day. Innate intellect is useless on its own. It must be honed and developed. Unlike innate intelligence, acquired intelligence (AQ) is not static. Regardless of your IQ, you can grow your AQ with schooling, training, reading, along with practice, adversity, and experience. Acquired intelligence makes IQ relevant and useful. Technological Intelligence Technological intelligence (TQ) is the ability to interact with technology and weave it seamlessly into one’s daily life. Those who fail to develop this ability or who resist developing it will be left behind. As technology—especially artificial intelligence—becomes a ubiquitous part of daily life, humans with high TQ will thrive in ways that humans with low TQ will not. It is essential that salespeople adapt quickly to working with machines. Salespeople can no longer afford to claim that they are “not computer savvy.” If you don’t get tech savvy and quickly, you will be left behind and out of a job. In the future, there will be two types of salespeople. The first group will tell machines what to do. The second group will be told what to do by machines. Trust me, you want to be in the first group. Emotional Intelligence The ability to perceive, correctly interpret, respond to, and effectively manage one’s own emotions and influence the emotions of others is called emotional intelligence (EQ). Today, the impact of sales-specific emotional intelligence (Sales EQ) on sales performance can no longer be ignored. Buyers are starving for authentic human interaction. In our tech-dominated society, interpersonal skills (responding to and managing the emotions of others) and intra-personal skills (managing your own disruptive emotions) are more essential to success in sales than at any point in history. Emotional intelligence is the key that unlocks ultra-high sales performance. Mastery of sales-specific emotional intelligence (Sales EQ) explains why one person becomes an ultra-high sales performer while another is just average, even though the intellectual ability and knowledge of the two people are equal. Sales professionals who invest in developing and improving EQ gain a decisive competitive advantage in the hyper-competitive global marketplace. About the Author Jeb Blount is the bestselling author of Sales EQ and a Sales Acceleration expert who helps sales organizations reach peak performance fast by optimizing talent, leveraging training to cultivate a high-performance sales culture, developing leadership and coaching skills, and applying more effective organizational design. Contact: 1-888-360-2249 or visit: http://www.JebBlount.com.

While the debate goes on about energy companies and the EPA, let’s get personal about our own energy consumption. No, not oil or gas but rather what saps the very energy of our bodies. Let’s face it; we all know the mantra, “too much to do and too little time”. So we throw ourselves feverishly into life. Stop. Here are some ideas that take a little time but can result in an energy boost. Drink water. Yep, plain old water. Our bodies become fatigued when they are dehydrated. The problem - your body doesn’t TELL you it needs water. Which is why you could set your smartphone to buzz on the hour and go grab at least 16 oz. of water every hour. Women need about 64 oz. a day and men about 96 oz.Glub Glub. Get some shut eye with a power nap. Ten minutes seems to be what brings me back to life.When I worked for a company, I sometimes closed the door and curled up under my desk. Not a good idea though because when someone came in and I was sound asleep, I almost knocked myself out by sitting up too quickly under the desk.  Putting my head down on the desk was a much better idea. Exercise regularly. Seems like a no-brainer but so many folks don’t do that. Just 30 minutes of any type of aerobic activity of ANY intensity has been found to up the endorphins, clear the cobwebs, and send blood to your extremities. Hug!It would be best to hug a person but you can also count on a pet. Scientists have found that hugging increases oxytocin and decreases the stress hormone cortisol.Love hugs! Write in a gratitude journal.When we focus on what we are grateful for, it creates a subtle but strong energy force field that helps a sense of optimism and also possibility. I would love to hear what you do that renews your energy.And I will send more tips in further blog posts.

"IT” starts in Gary, Indiana at US Steel’s immense integrated mill (the largest of its kind in the Northern Hemisphere). “IT” continues in Orlando with the United States Postal Service and Hurricane Irene. And “IT doesn’t stop until long after I return home to Southern California and a 7.0 earthquake. The “IT” is a laptop malfunction—the unnatural calamity created when technology and a virus meet. First, installing the software challenges a neophyte. What the heck is a “keyring”? Why are the gauges literally written in Greek? Forbid I should call the support line. The posted hours in the manual are from 9am to 6pm Pacific Standard Time. Does a TON of good when you’re perched in the Midwest! Next, wait until the appointed hour and try placing a toll call from an airport location. Voice mail hell reigns supreme. A garbled voice mumbles some unintelligible phrase and directs me to call another number. Seems that what is printed in the “quick start guide” of this newest edition is wrong. Dial the new toll call number. A recorded voice directs me to redial the very number that had just proved wrong. At no time am I even given the option to speak to a REAL person. At the next location I try again, dialing any number that is printed. One works—for a product OTHER than the one I purchased. I seem to be put into a line for service. Elevator-type music plays and at no time am I told what the wait will be or if—ever—I can be helped. Finally, when I get home, I dial a 900-number to get help and jump all over the poor technician who answered. (To his credit, he agreed not to charge me for the call.) Angry. You bet. So here are the lessons you can use if you wish to turn away customers: Respond to calls only at your convenience. Forbid anyone from working hours that match the work hours of the majority of your clients. Never read your marketing material for errors. Make sure you never allow a customer to find a human for assistance. Have a customer go through many steps in order to find you. Reward only the most persistent. Make sure you waste a TON of their time. Never call back an angry customer and thank them for pointing out the errors in your system. Here’s the deal. If you’re as big as this software company, hundreds of people must have been getting this lack of response. How long does it take them to fix it? Please help my small company.  If our voice mail system goes down, please e-mail or text us so we can get it right. Text is 949-637-4233.  Let me publicly thank Esther Eagles from Eagles Talent Agency for getting mad enough to continually call my office. We wondered why our phones were so quiet that day.  Sure enough. There was a glitch. Stuff happens.  But we want to make it right. ASAP. Naturally. And so do you.

The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote: "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Zora Neale Hurston also penned, "There are years that ask questions and years that answer." Both of these sentiments underscore a need for us to sit in a space of not knowing and being open to asking ourselves critical questions. In short, to be our own coaches. I know no finer coach and master of THE questions than Toronto-based Michael Bungay Stanier. He kindly offers this guest blog post and resources to help you - my faithful readers - as a great way to move into this new year. And now: Here's Michael! Resiliency Has A Place in Your Career Why is personal resilience important? What does it have to do with your career? What does resilience even mean to you? Resilient systems have built-in fail-safes so that when something breaks, the step to recovery is clear. This speaks to an ability to bounce back and resist damage. But as Eileen often insists, that standard definition isn't adequate for human beings. As she says, "it means to grow through." When something unexpected, and perhaps negative, happens, it's useful to have that built-in fail-safe, a quick way to fix the bad situation. But what true personal resilience looks like is a willingness to keep going when things get difficult and to roll with the punches. It's important to solve problems and adapt, but what you're really looking to do is not to go back to how things were but instead move farther forward, to get better and wiser. In my book The Coaching Habit, I talk a lot about asking questions. Asking questions is the key to effective coaching. Asking questions isn't just a tool for coaching others, though. If you ask yourself the right questions, you yourself can become more resilient in your career. You just need to understand a few concepts and know what we mean when we talk about resilience. Understand Control versus Influence It's important to understand the difference between control and influence. You can control yourself, your reactions and your behaviors. You can influence much more. You may not control a situation, but you can influence the people involved in it, for example. If you cannot control or influence something, just let that particular thing go. If you want to influence something you have no control over, find the best way to do that. Ask yourself, "What do I control? What can I influence?" and then go from there. Create Rapid Prototypes Don't create one big thing that is dependent on a thousand different things. Figure out how to do lots of small things rather than over-investing in one big thing. If one small thing fails, it won't matter too much, but if that one and only big thing fails, it will take a toll. If one small thing succeeds, you can move on it quickly. This strategy ties in well with creating that fail-safe system. What small step can you create now? Build Support Systems Create your own support system. Invest in your relationships with your family and friends. The people you surround yourself with are important - these people are your resilient resources, the reason you strive to do well and to do better. They will work to increase your personal resilience, as they've been through both the good and the bad with you (and have stuck around). Question: Who is in your support network? How do you nurture them? Daily exercise can be another kind of support system. If you make time for physical activity every day, you will be more efficient at work and in life. An active lifestyle makes you feel better and increases your capacity and resilience. Question: What commitment can you make to exercise today? Never Stop Learning Increase your capacity to learn. Learn from your mistakes and from your successes, and appreciate what you take from both. Resilience comes from learning. Ask yourself and your team questions after every engagement - for example, "What was most useful here for me?" and "What was most valuable here for you?" Think about what you want to remember post-event. These questions will drive your learning and, in doing so, increase your capacity, which drives your resilience. Personal resilience equates to flexibility, strength and self-management - all of which are important keys to building a successful career. It's easy to give up or shut down in the face of adversity, but it's much more fun to overcome it and develop because of it. About Michael Bungay Stanier Author of The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, Michael Bungay Stanier is the Senior Partner of Box of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. It is best known for its coaching programs, which give busy managers practical tools to coach in 10 minutes or less. Download free chapters of Michael's latest book here.

For the past 5 years, the hills above my Orange County, CA home have stayed a dusty, drab brown. Rain has been but a distant memory and succulents have replaced colorful plants. My lawn has been decimated to a concrete patio with 2 small flower beds. Weather or not we got rain doesn’t seem to matter. After all, this is a desert state. Rains have finally come in but the reality is, we are foolish to forget the need to conserve water. It is, after all, a finite resource. I love the deep green hills but I also know that I must not ignore the reality of a precious water supply. What is amazing is how resilient the hills are. Despite five years of little moisture, just a small sprinkle unlocks the seeds below the cinnamon-colored ground. Grass springs out in all its verdant glory. Rain reminds me of love. It takes such a little bit of love to turn a lonely, dusty soul into a budding human, green with possibility. The question here is whether or not you extend it. Today, more than in my memory, we need to extend that love to as many as we can — not just the people who look like us or believe like us. Best of all, love is a bottomless well. Unlike water, it can be tapped over and over again and with use, extending love and kindness seems to enrich the giver. We all become green and growing.

Decades ago when I started my consulting practice, colleagues looked at me with envy, expressing a desire to leave corporate life and “work from home”. They thought it would be easier, more fun, and less stressful. Sounded good in theory but the truth is there are upsides and downsides to that decision. Today, a compromise appears in the form of a rising trend in telecommuting. According to Global Workplace Analytics, as of January 2016, these are the most current statistics: Regular work-at-home, among the non-self-employed population, has grown by 103% since 2005. 3.7 million employees (2.8% of the workforce) now work from home at least half the time. The employee population as a whole grew by 1.9% from 2013 to 2014, while employees who telecommuter population grew 5.6%. Before you make a move, consider the pros and cons as outlined by Jenny Holt, in the November 2016 issue of New York Jobs. I think you’ll find this article helpful and I've included a couple of paragraphs below. Working from Home: More Pros than Cons? There’s nothing like getting up late, not stressing about a commute, and sitting down at your laptop with a big breakfast and no outside distractions to start your day at work right? Well, that seems accurate until you realize you’re in the comfort of your own bed, have access to far too many TVs, and have no fear of a micromanaging boss. Whether you are a home-based business owner who works from home full-time or someone who decides to work from home occasionally, there are a number of pros and cons to consider before you set up your home office. Maybe you’re a pro at job hunting online and maybe you found what seems like the greatest remote job. Hey, maybe you found a company headquartered in Buffalo but live in Rochester and would find the commute to be tiresome to drive through during rush-hour traffic. Having the option to work remotely full-time sounds like a dream come true, but without the stamina and discipline, it may seem like you’re dedicating more time to doing your laundry and cooking meals than actually working.

"What kind of flower are you?” The question took me aback when I read it. Could the writer be suggesting that the kind of flowers we surround ourselves with offers testimony to our view on life? The more I thought of it, I realized there was a great truism here. Nature offers her treasures as subtle metaphors for so many of life’s lessons. Here was my mine: In my work as a professional speaker and consultant, I had found myself sometimes overwhelmed with the amount of work and travel on my plate. At other times, I found myself beginning to panic with the scarcity. “It’s either pheasant or feathers”, I’d grumble. Some colleagues had told me that I worked too hard on material, constantly editing, adding, pruning, and arranging. “But it makes what I do more timely and current,” I’d respond and silently wonder if they were right. And then I read this question. “But of course,” I thought. “ROSES!” In our small strip of California garden, I have planted rose bushes. In season, they bloom profusely, coming back in abundance the more I tend them, weed, fertilize, AND give them away. Out of season, their bare stems look forlorn and without potential. Yet I know that in due time, the nourishment received from this time of rest will bring them back in abundance. It is the course of their life. It is the pattern of my work. When viewed in this manner, I now understand that my work pattern reflects the natural world of roses. It’s not right for everyone. But it is right for me. Guess I’ll just bloom when and where I am planted!

A cornerstone of resiliency rests in the ability to be adaptable, to respond in multiple ways to any given circumstance. Alas, easy to say harder to do because of routine. Consider the fate of Howard Johnson’s restaurants.  At one point in time, the orange tile roof eatery could be found across all major highways and turnpikes throughout U.S. It made more money than McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC combined. In fact, it was second only to the U.S. Army as the largest purveyor of food. Today, HoJo’s are but a distant memory of Baby Boomers. What happened?? Business as usual happened—routine. Here’s the story: Howard Deering Johnson started the operation simply in 1925 with a drugstore soda fountain in Quincy, Mass. He increased the butterfat content of the ice cream and did a booming business. By 1929, he opened a second shop and then, in the midst of the Great Depression, Johnson pioneered the idea of restaurant franchising. With the advent of the auto, he saw opportunity to grab hungry travelers along the major roads. He added motels and the eat-sleep concept was born.  On trips from Georgia to my grandparents in York, PA, my family always spent the night at Howard Johnson’s in Danville, VA and ate fried clams in the restaurant and followed it with ice cream. Of course, their “rule” was that you could not have an ice cream cone unless you took it outside. But then the world changed. Fast food became the order of the day. Road trips became passé. And others jumped on the eat-sleep wagon. As for HoJo’s, they kept doing things the same way, everyday, every time.  Routine felt safe and unfortunately, not sustainable. Routine doesn't just happen in the running of our enterprises but also in our everyday life.  According to Dr. Neil Dempster writing in Incident Prevention, there is a psychological phenomenon referred to as “above-the-line” and “below the line” in decision making. Above-the-line decisions are made through conscious thought processes.  However, much of our reactions and decisions come from below-the-line. These are unconscious responses that are the result of past conditioning that has become routine. When I suddenly brake my car and throw out my right arm to protect the passenger sitting beside me, I am not making a conscious decision. It is automatic. It has become routine. According to Dempster, more than 95 percent of all human behavior originates at the below-the-line level. That’s not a bad thing. Our subconscious mind processes information thousands of times faster than the conscious mind and protects us in many ways. But in the face of a challenge, a change, or a potential opportunity, resilient leaders would be wise to follow what I think of as “the railroad rule”:  Stop. Look. Listen. Stop the routine and ask critical questions: How is this situation different from others?Does this routine serve us in the best way?Why are we proceeding in this fashion? Look for viewing points: Who has been here before and what insight can they offer?Who has NEVER been here before and what might they see that we don’t see? Listen: Practice naïve listening. Mouth shut and ears open.Silence the “yes but” critic in your head.Listen to your intuition--deeply listen. Your gut often knows more than your head does. When the track seems clear in both directions, past and future--knowing you can only see as far as the bend in the “road”, move forward. What conscious effort will you now make?  Start small. Remember, the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. Let adaptability and not routine be your traveling companion.