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- Resiliency: An Equal Opportunity Resource
Do any of these sound like you: Your organization has been downsized, “right-sized,” capsized. Perhaps you’ve been merged, remerged, submerged. Every time you think you know the answers, they change the questions. Up is down and down is up. Perhaps you have the opposite challenge: your organization is growing so fast that it's hard to maintain the pace! Business change is a daily fact of life. Perhaps you’re the leader with followers looking toward you as a model to move forward in complex and demanding times. You feel stuck in a time warp and want nothing better than the old days of career progression, linear movement, and a marketplace that is predictable and faithful. To read the rest of the article click here!
- Back to the future: Glacier Park Insights
On the fourth day of my road trip with my husband I was amazed by the waters flowing from the Flathead River, glacial melt, creeks and the McDonald River have created wonderful waterfalls in Glacier National Park. But even more amazing is the collaboration of two countries to create an International Peace Park that stands testimony to what a collection of individuals can do when PEACE is an objective.
- Road Trip Lessons #2: Boundaries push you to make smarter decisions!
I've discovered that there is a big difference between flying and traveling by car. When flying I work hard to take only what I need. It's expensive and exhausting to try to drag everything you think you need through an airport. A road trip is completely different. We can pack the car full of things that we may or may not need along the way. My lesson: boundaries push you to make smarter decisions. We have books, food, water, trail mix, boxes of all manner of shoes and hiking stuff. Layers of clothes for Canada . And now I wonder why I packed 8 t-shirts?
- Do You Trip For Love?
Long ago and far away—in a distant galaxy—I was married to man who thought marathon road trips were the best thing since sliced bread. The trick was to drive as many miles as possible in one day, sleep in some unassuming hotel, and head out again on the road. Roads were always Interstate and not interesting. There were a few stops along the trip for a hurried look-see, cross it off the “I’ve done that” list and head on out again. I was always the passenger and never the driver. (Although I do admit, I am a champ at reading road maps. Siri was not even in the picture!) This year, with my beloved spouse of 37 years, I have INSISTED on going on his long-awaited road trip. I can’t believe I insisted —and for two weeks too. But this time, I am sure it will be different. I pray it will be different. He has marked out backroads, side trails and places like Glacier National Park, the Canadian Rockies, and the farm towns along the eastern Washington and Oregon borders. I am determined to look with new eyes…to seek resiliency lessons... to find funny things... and to laugh loud and long. Wanna come? I am going to try and capture video along the way and make observations. You can see my first video below and I'll add others to upcoming blogs. Remember, you get to sleep in your own bed. I will keep you posted. Adios.. and vaya con Dios!
- Look for the Funny - A Resiliency Clue
A wise person once said, “If you don’t have a sense of humor—you have no sense!” Judging from the dour faces in Congress, I think the pundit is right. But we don’t have to mirror the snarls and growls that haunt Washington, D.C. That’s probably why so many people have been drawn to the parodies found on late night talk shows. However, life has its own way of presenting resiliency tests without looking to politicians. Work challenges, life challenges, opportunities that demand our energy—you name it. That’s why I so firmly believe that presilience™ (proactive resilience) is a daily life skill. One of those skills is laugh-ability. Start looking for anything that nudges your funny bone, takes you by humorous surprise, or gets you caught up in some comedic internal conversation—like the mystery of the spice drawer. Think about it: all the spices have screw top lids or plastic pour spouts. Use the spice, close the lid and put it away. Then how the heck do you open a drawer and find granules of various spices scattered throughout? My theory: they come alive at midnight and dance. Haven’t figured out what magical hand unscrews the lids but I can hear the dialogue: “Mrs. Dash, wanna tarragon with me?” “Hey, I’ve got the chives. They itch! Say Meg, you’re a nut—how about scratching my label?” “Umm, Sage you’re a wise guy. Let’s leave bay and go cinnamoning!” “I love to tango with Ginger. And how about Lawry: he’s so allspice!” “O-Regano, you dance a fabulous paprika.” "Yo—watch it guys. It’s thyme. Screw back lids. Assume standing position. Dance is over.” Hope you got the chuckle out of reading this. Now—send me YOUR funny observations.
- Green Thumb Wisdom for Growing Life
I love to garden. There’s something about kneeling down on the ground, putting a trowel into the earth, and deciding what should be planted—or weeded—or seeded. Sure it takes time and I can get pretty dirty. I might need to amend the soil, make sure I have the right plants in the right sun or shade, and also be willing to pull out plants that no longer thrive. Gardening has much to teach us about life.We all know you have to get your hands dirty to achieve results. Looking at a Burpee Seed Catalog will not get the garden planted. Nor will gazing at a vision board turn dreams into reality:you must take action. A successful gardener also knows the truth of the saying from Ecclesiastics: “for everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Think about where you are in your life and what is YOUR season? In gardening terms, WINTER is a time for rest, for regeneration and renewal. What looks like a frozen landscape actually hides the blossoms waiting for warmth.You might be in a season of Winter, hunkering down, waiting, watching. Winter doesn’t last forever—as Camus insisted: "In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back." - Camus But SPRING must precede Winter. Flowers and buds are fragile. They require water and fertilizer.You might be too. What do you need to nurture so you can to burst forth in the richness of Summer? And Summer is indeed a gardener’s delight. Look at all the fruits and vegetables that abound. The wildflowers also peak in mountains and valleys. If you are in a Summer Season, you are on a great growth spurt, watering ideas, fertilizing projects. In Fall, you pick the fruits of your labors. When is the best time to harvest? Was it a bountiful crop of ideas, insights, sales?What must be nurtured and set to rest for indeed, Winter will come. Yes, I have come to realize that life parallels the natural world.The decisions I make are not unlike those a green thumb gardener makes. To thrive, I must know my season, grow my season. Feed, Seed Weed. Everyday wisdom—every day.
- Resiliency is Option B
Resiliency is the new trendy word. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant have sparked many conversations and insights with the publication of their book Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy. The tragic, sudden death of Sheryl’s husband became the threshing ground for facing heartbreak with incredible honesty and pain. Her friend, Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton and a best-selling author, held her hand and offered concrete steps based upon his research. It’s a powerful, compelling book. And thankfully, has brought the topic of resiliency into the forefront.However, lest we think that resiliency is a skill used only in deep personal loss, I contend that resiliency is a life skill and one, frankly, that needs to be taught in our schools. John Doran is a Guidance Counselor in the Patrician Secondary School and author of Ways to Wellbeing a program promoting resilience and positive mental health for students nationwide and internationally.In a recent article, John states that schools might be preparing children for a world that no longer exists. Life has become far more demanding, competitive, and filled with stress. A fear of failure and thus risk avoidance is finding its way into educational systems and is also a pattern for every generation. Doran continually reinforces students to see setbacks as learning tools. In fact, Adam Grant’s research shows that successful products (like rocket launches) are possible only when failure is closely examined from the lens of “what did we learn” versus “who is to blame”. He also offers a lovely phrase to help with what I think of as “reframing”. FAIL becomes First Attempt in Learning. And mistakes are called VILE “Very Interesting Learning Experience.” In my book, Your Resiliency GPS, I call these events AFGO—Another Frigging Growth Opportunity. It does make me laugh—a critical piece of our resiliency skill set.
- When Is Crying A Good Thing?
You might wonder how crying can have any relationship to resiliency? I believe you will find the answer in this thoughtful article written by my colleague and friend Susan Fowler. She explores crying not as sadness or despair, but rather as an emotional connection between people. Indeed, if we are to create a resilient organization, a resilient world, it is imperative that we find this connection. Susan suggests that it might as well be… music! Read and reap. When Is Crying A Good Thing? As tears welled up in my eyes, I asked myself, “What’s happening?” I was listening to a guitar ensemble play Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. I was taken aback by the intensity of my emotions to a song I’ve heard hundreds of times. You’ve heard it, too—even if you don’t know it by name—at weddings or in the background at Target. Accelerated learning studies have shown that listening to Baroque compositions such as Pachelbel’s canon, changes your breathing and heart rate, stimulates both your right and left brain, and creates conditions for enhanced learning. I play the piece during workshops. Over the years, I’ve gifted CDs of Pachelbel’s ubiquitous classic to teens and adults to help them study. My familiarity with the piece made my emotional reaction even more perplexing, especially given the group playing it: a ragtag group of 12 teenagers just learning to play together as an ensemble. To say there were a few mis-struck strings is an understatement. Yet, the music filled me with a sense of deep yearning. I found myself wondering, for what am I longing? Why do I have tears in my eyes? Curious, I turned to science. Had I experienced appoggiatura? Appoggiatura is a musical construct that, it is postulated, causes tears when the notes of the song build up tension and then resolves it with a dissonant note. Adele’s music is full of appoggiaturas. I do tear up at Adele’s songs from time to time, but that doesn’t explain what happened listening to the guitar ensemble. Their skills may have created tension, but they hardly resolved it! Besides, I hadn’t teared up to Pachelbel in the past. My epiphany came during the NCAA Basketball Playoffs. The women of Missouri State made history by ending Connecticut’s 111-game winning streak. The underdog Bulldogs of Gonzaga lost in a valiant effort to the excellence of North Carolina’s men’s basketball program. But, it was watching the video montage accompanied by Luther Vandross singing “One Shining Moment” when my eyes teared up. I wasn’t alone. Grown men admit to choking up during this ritual ending. Television ratings show that millions of viewers don’t change the channel until they watch that video and hear Luther sing. I realized, these emotions reflect what I write about every day—the three psychological needs required for us to thrive as human beings. One of those needs is for Relatedness. We satisfy Relatedness when we feel that we belong, when we can care about others and are cared about by others without ulterior motives, and when we find meaning and purpose in our everyday experiences. Music doesn’t create Relatedness or empathy. Rather, music is a vehicle that helps us tap into this fundamental truth: We are all connected. Music transports us to our emotional nature that enables us to get in touch with our humanity. In her work on resiliency, Eileen McDargh writes about how social competence and empathy are core skills for resiliency. Far from being a statement of fragility or weakness, our desire to be in social communion with others gives us strength. In “The Quietus” essay by Robert Barry, he beautifully relates a phone call with new age composer Laraaji. Barry writes, “‘Music can suggest a union of souls,’ he said in the midst of our interview. ‘You may not even realize that that’s what you’re feeling. Music can conjure up moods and feelings for the emotional body, and during that experience, a release from either congestion or release from senses of separation is accompanied by tears and crying.’ He called it ‘a coming together.’” I wasn’t tearing up over Pachelbel’s canon itself, but the music allowed me to get in touch with something more profound—the wonder of 12 hormone-driven teens coming together to co-create something of beauty. Even though I was just watching them, I felt as though I were part of the collective. I found meaning through their music. When millions of people choke up during the video signaling the end of the NCAA basketball finals, we aren’t responding to competition, or who won and who lost. The visuals combined with music capture the spirit of young people giving everything they have in a socially cooperative effort. More importantly, the video captures us in a communal experience. It doesn’t matter if we’re in the stands or sitting on the sofa, the collective “we” are touched by what the athletes’ sportsmanship, dedication, and authentic expressions of joy and sorrow represent. We come together in celebration of excellence, competence, and the best of humankind. And we feel proud. And hopeful. Whether we are listening to an off-key group of teenage guitarists or reveling in a video montage of young basketball players while Luther sings “One Shining Moment,” we come together “as one” in experiencing something meaningful. Coming together. I wonder, would the world be a better place if we all came together to cry more often over things that contribute to the greatest good? Maybe our tears would remind us of a truth that strikes at our very core: We all long to be optimally motivated, resilient, and wholly human beings—together. Susan Fowler implores leaders to stop trying to motivate people. In her latest bestselling book, she explains Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work… and What Does. Widely respected as one of the foremost thought leaders on the science of motivation, leadership, and personal empowerment, Susan is a globally sought-after speaker and consultant. Tens of thousands of people worldwide have learned from her award-winning training designs, including the Self Leadership and Optimal Motivation product lines. Susan is also the author of the bestselling Self Leadership and The One Minute Manager with Ken Blanchard and Laurie Hawkins; Achieve Leadership Genius with Drea Zigarmi and Dick Lyles; Leading at a Higher Level with Ken Blanchard; The Team Leader’s Idea-a-Day Guide with Drea Zigarmi; Empowerment with Ken Blanchard; Good Leaders, Good Shepherds with Dick Lyles; as well as audio programs on mentoring—Fostering Your Careers Most Crucial Relationships and Overcoming Procrastination.
- Making Meaning Means Making Time
Now that a great portion of the world has switched into "daylight savings time", a practice that continues to bewilder me as an early morning riser, I find myself pondering the resiliency principle of alignment. Alignment means that we are living in sync with what we believe is the WHY, the purpose of our life. But finding meaning requires taking time to actually ponder our life. Let’s face it—in the busyness of our world—time has been reduced to a commodity. Some of us may recall slow dancing in the 60s as the Rolling Stones wailed out "Time is on my side, yes it is." Not anymore. We all can sing the chorus: "There’s too much to do and too little time." Individually and collectively, we’ve created a commodity worthy of the New York Stock Exchange: Time. We’ve given it all the form and substance of a product for manipulation. We spend it, lose it, waste it, manage it. We’re told to make time, use time, take time, and, if we’ve had a run-in with the law, we might even "do" time. We talk about time logs, time management, time sheets, and time-outs. (Don’t you wish someone would give you one of those!) There’s a time clock, time exposure, time lapse and a time stamp. Ideas and products are time-tested, competitions are time trials, and we divide our world into time zones. It’s the great equalizer, given in singular 24-hour chunks by the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon. No amount of money can buy it, no power can hold it, no army can stop it. And one day we will all lift our eyes to the heavens and want the one thing we can no longer have: one minute more on this earth. It is my contention that this relationship with time in today’s Western culture began with the invention of time-telling devices and has been further influenced and in many ways ripped asunder by the speed of technological inventions and our response and interplay with such inventions. Technology has sped up our response time, creating a sense of urgency upon urgency and we tap our fingers in despair when the computer loads too slowly or our text message isn’t returned promptly. Here's your permission, your time out. UNPLUG! That’s right. Turn off all electronics. Everything. OK, if you have an aging parent or a child who might need you, you can keep your phone on but ONLY answer it if it is them! For this coming weekend—take at least one day where you do nothing connected with technology. Garden, walk, sleep, read (but not on a Kindle), hug, smile, and most important breath! Deeply. Again. Deeply. Let your mind wander as you ponder—what is it that brings you joy? Why are you on this earth? In this role? What do your TRUE friends say? Ask. Write the answers. And breathe. Making meaning means making time to just BE. Don’t you think it’s about time!
- LOSS AND LAUGHTER: A Resiliency Key
For 62 years, Lola Gillebaard and Hendrik Cornelis Gillebaard Sr have loved and laughed and fought and cried through all her illnesses, the birth of four HUGE boys, the death of a daughter-law, the death of far too many businesses, and the sale of their beloved home. In all of these circumstances, I have watched my dear friend Lola stumble—often literally with a leg and foot damaged at birth. She might get down, wallow in depression for awhile but then, it is always her ability to “look for the funny” that allows her to meet a new day. With dogged determination, she has pulled herself with her walker to get on a stationary bike and strengthen her leg. With equal determination, she has prodded Hank to put on his sport jacket and go down to the dances at the assisted living center. And almost always—but not every time—helped him through the fog that comes with ever-increasing dementia. It was a shock to get a call from her daughter-in-law on the very day Bill and I were to go to support her at a talent show for the local Rotary Club. Lola (age 87) had worked on her act for weeks, also trying to help first-born son, Hank, Jr in what would be his first attempt at being a stand-up comedian. “Hank just fell over at 3am after getting Lola her walker. He died instantly.” Within a few hours I was sitting beside her. She described the scene and then laughed at the fact that she was in the toilet and couldn’t easily get up. “It was the best thing,” she said over and over again. Indeed, Hank did not have to suffer the indignity that this horrid Alzheimer’s serves up. Within two days, Lola and two of her boys were writing the obituary. Lola said they laughed all the way through it… just as he and she would want. Consider these lines: “No foulplay is suspected at this time. His body was found wearing the same clothes he wore when he was born.”(Yes, Hank liked to sleep in the all-together.) “He is survived by his highly-acclaimed comedic wife, Lola and their four (known) sons."He loved the “f” word… Flying… Hendrik is also survived by his brain, as it was his wish for it to be donated to science. ..a desire he felt was a ‘no brainer.’” I asked Lola for her permission to write this. The empty loss of a life partner will never be overcome with humor. But certainly, the ability to interject laughter offers some balm to the soul. I think it also keeps us sane.
- Classes Teach Civil Discourse to Kids. Resiliency on the MOVE!
Meg Heubeck, former social studies teacher in Charlottesville, VA remains convinced that a resilient nation depends upon the ability to make civic conversation comfortable again. “We’re Americans—that’s the thing that holds us together... politics shouldn’t be something you lose family and friends over.” According to an interview in USA TODAY Jan 3, 2017, Heubeck has connected with 70,000 teachers across the nation in her role as Director of Instruction for the Youth Leadership Initiative at the University of VA’s Center for Politics. She’s given these teachers lesson plans, board games, and instructional aides to help students to understand what actually happens in Congress. Discussion, debate and compromise are all part of understanding how a democracy works. The Youth Leadership materials are available for children as young as kindergarten and is funded through a mishmash of state funds, donations, partnerships and unpaid interns. I have reached out to her to find out how we can get such materials in the hands of all adults. I know that as a natural born citizen, I am sure my understanding of the full political process is not near as strong as it should be. I agree with Heubeck that the spirit of discourse, careful listening, debate and compromise has been missing. Civic education should be a mandatory class for all citizens as it can make our democracy stronger, more resilient, and, hopefully, encourage younger people to seek public office.
- Resiliency Skills for Today’s Sales Professional
The sales profession is in the midst of a perfect storm. Buyers have more power, more information, more at stake, and more control over the sales process—than at any time in history. Legions of salespeople are coming face-to-face with a cold, hard truth: what once gave them a competitive edge: controlling the sales process, command of product knowledge, an arsenal of technology, and a great pitch—are no longer guarantees of success. Yet, in the eye of this storm, an elite group of top 1 percent sales professionals are crushing it. These Ultra-High Performers are acutely aware that the emotional experience of buying from them is far more important (and powerful) than products, prices, features, and solutions. In short, to my way of thinking, the emotional experience is all about CONNECTIONS—the basis for all resiliency. I hope you will enjoy this guest post written by my colleague, Jeb Blount, who has just written a fantastic new book that takes you on an unprecedented journey into the mindsets, behaviors, and secrets of these ultra-high performers. It’s called Sales EQ. The Four Levels of Sales Intelligence The speed and complexity of the modern marketplace is the domain of intellectual agility. Ultra-high sales performers possess four types of intelligence that are tightly intertwined, each connecting, affecting, and amplifying the others. IQ—how smart you are. Fixed and baked into your DNA. AQ—how much you know. Makes IQ relevant.TQ—how fast you assimilate and leverage technology. Makes more time for human relationships.EQ—your acuity for dealing with emotions. Your own and those of others. Ultra-high performers combine high IQ, AQ, and TQ with high EQ to dominate their competitors. Innate Intelligence Your intelligence quotient (IQ) is an indicator of how smart you are. Innate intelligence is baked into your DNA. It is a talent no different than athleticism. You are either born with a certain IQ or you are not. IQ is immovable. In other words, you are as smart as you will ever be. Ultra-high sales performers are smart people. They are keen observers and have insatiable curiosity. They have the innate ability to connect disparate ideas, data, facts and patterns to develop unique and original solutions to problems—a critical competency in sales for discovery, challenging the status quo, and developing unique solutions and recommendations. In sales, however, where emotions rather than rational decision making carry the day, IQ is but part of the performance equation. Innate intelligence becomes relevant, useful, and powerful when combined with acquired, technological, and emotional intelligence. Acquired Intelligence I was delivering a two-day Sales EQ seminar for a client. On the first day, I noticed that a couple of the participants were disengaged. The rest of the group of roughly 20 people were participating and energetic. But these two were almost hostile. At lunch, I asked the sales leader if there was something going on. He confided that everyone had been excited about the training except for these two, who had complained about having to go back to training. “They think they know it all. But trust me—these guys need this badly because they are struggling to hit their numbers.” Average salespeople who think they know it all—I see it every day. Innate intellect is useless on its own. It must be honed and developed. Unlike innate intelligence, acquired intelligence (AQ) is not static. Regardless of your IQ, you can grow your AQ with schooling, training, reading, along with practice, adversity, and experience. Acquired intelligence makes IQ relevant and useful. Technological Intelligence Technological intelligence (TQ) is the ability to interact with technology and weave it seamlessly into one’s daily life. Those who fail to develop this ability or who resist developing it will be left behind. As technology—especially artificial intelligence—becomes a ubiquitous part of daily life, humans with high TQ will thrive in ways that humans with low TQ will not. It is essential that salespeople adapt quickly to working with machines. Salespeople can no longer afford to claim that they are “not computer savvy.” If you don’t get tech savvy and quickly, you will be left behind and out of a job. In the future, there will be two types of salespeople. The first group will tell machines what to do. The second group will be told what to do by machines. Trust me, you want to be in the first group. Emotional Intelligence The ability to perceive, correctly interpret, respond to, and effectively manage one’s own emotions and influence the emotions of others is called emotional intelligence (EQ). Today, the impact of sales-specific emotional intelligence (Sales EQ) on sales performance can no longer be ignored. Buyers are starving for authentic human interaction. In our tech-dominated society, interpersonal skills (responding to and managing the emotions of others) and intra-personal skills (managing your own disruptive emotions) are more essential to success in sales than at any point in history. Emotional intelligence is the key that unlocks ultra-high sales performance. Mastery of sales-specific emotional intelligence (Sales EQ) explains why one person becomes an ultra-high sales performer while another is just average, even though the intellectual ability and knowledge of the two people are equal. Sales professionals who invest in developing and improving EQ gain a decisive competitive advantage in the hyper-competitive global marketplace. About the Author Jeb Blount is the bestselling author of Sales EQ and a Sales Acceleration expert who helps sales organizations reach peak performance fast by optimizing talent, leveraging training to cultivate a high-performance sales culture, developing leadership and coaching skills, and applying more effective organizational design. Contact: 1-888-360-2249 or visit: http://www.JebBlount.com.












