Information overload equates to a staggering $1.2 trillion in wages wasted each year according to a six year study of over 20,000 information workers.  Time to call a halt to this amazing abuse: (1)  Insist that the “reply all” email button be carefully considered before selecting “send” (2)  Just because information can be sent, do not assume it has value to the recipient. (3)  Establish a boundary for sending and receiving emails. Being on call 24/7 leaves workers exhausted and frazzled. Think of a time frame for rest and renewal.   If you are a manager, practice what you preach and model the boundaried-behavior. (4)  Get professional help for colleagues who seem addicted to connecting.  Fifty-four percent of all professional indicate they are often frustrated by colleagues who huddle over their PDAs during important meetings. (5)  Make a conscious effort to refrain from interruptions and to ask colleagues to respect your time. Workflow that is interrupted by email, “dings”,  IMs or calls results in reduced output and effectiveness. Create interruption management strategies and share them with all. (6)  Use the “IS IT NECESSARY” question before calling or attending a meeting.  If it is merely for sharing information, make sure that it is data that ANNOT be handled via succinct, bulleted correspondence.  Ask if the right people are at the meeting? Too often, the wrong people come because of formality and standard office protocol;. (7)  Seek good trainers who can deliver targeted programs on how to handle email, and teach a methodology for storing and retrieving documents. This is a new communication world and old methods don’t work. (8)  Don’t forget that meeting management is a learned skill. Start the year off right by helping information workers learn just how to conduct effective and efficient meetings. Note that effective and efficient are two distinct outcomes.

A Harris Interactive survey for Whitepages.com released findings on what communication modes are most open to misunderstanding. Not surprisingly, 80% of adults found it most easy to misinterpret the tone of e-mail.  Seventy-eight percent found text messages to be misleading, while 71% could also be put off by letters.  Consider this: all these modes are flat, one-sided genres that allow the reader to intuit just about anything into the mix. In our crazy busy world, how often do we automatically push the send key and instantly regret that action? Or how about the mistake of using upper case letters and the reader thinks he is being shouted at?  Then too, in the rush to respond and be brief, single line messages can come across as terse, harsh and often inflammatory.  Small wonder that e-mail might also stand for escalation and error. Words are just that: words. But in the English language, the nuances of verbal inflection and facial expressions make all the difference in true communication. Read the phrase "What ever possessed you to come to this conclusion?" The text message version might even be "Are you nuts!"  Chances are that you are already feeling a negative emotion as you read these words. Even letters run a 71% chance of being read incorrectly. But let's add voice to it. Imagine you hear a very neutral voice on the telephone asking the question, "What ever possessed you to come to this conclusion?"  Imagine that you hear it as if a counselor were talking to you, coming from a place of inquiry rather than accusation.  Your response would be quite different. For this reason, telephone conversations stand a 47% better chance of being correctly interpreted. So telephone conversations are better but not the best communication vehicle.  The amount of subtle and not-so-subtle meaning carried by the eyes and facial muscles is amazing. When face-to-face communication is used, the conversations are correctly understood 63% of the time. With odds like this, the natural assumption is that leaders and anyone dealing with customers would spend more time in either face-to-face or telephone conversations.  But both research and consumer experience indicates the opposite. Bottom line: talk is not cheap-it's priceless. The competitive edge does not have to be more bells and whistles on a CRM system or another layer of voice mail doom loops.  For once, it's not sophistication that's required but rather a remembering that at the end of the day, people want to work for and buy from people with whom they have a relationship. Here's the most powerful mantra for creating that relationship: "Start talking and get to work!"

Imagine the waste and loss that happens when we don't talk.  Don't just talk to employees... communicate with them! Tasks are repeated because instructions aren’t clear. Morale plummets and rumors abound when a managing partner engages in doublespeak regarding the firm’s future. Administrators constantly battle employee retention because of the poor interpersonal skills of some professionals. Precious time is wasted in meetings that are exercises in egos rather than solutions. Valuable staff leave because they feel devalued and unappreciated. Office tensions result in absenteeism, health claims, and turnover.

In a data-driven world, facts and figures are the order of the day in sales calls, employee meetings, board rooms, and political assemblies. Traditionally, when a person is trying to convince someone else to do something they use the logic of benefits and features — long the sacred domain of anyone in sales. And they are missing the boat. What truly moves us as human beings, what prompts us into action, is emotion. Imagination is the conduit of emotion and well-crafted storytelling carries the imagination. Consider this story: You place your hand on top of your head, only to feel the sun radiate from your scalp. Sweat trickles down your back and the once ironed shirt clings to your sides. The pavement roasts your feet even through your thick-soled shoes. You’ve been walking for a 45 minutes, trying to find the office where you are scheduled to make a sales call. Suddenly, a swoosh of cold air swirls at your side as a young couple comes charging out of an ice cream parlor, licking swirls of raspberry and vanilla perched in a sugar cone… I’ll bet you’re ready for some ice cream! What engaged you was the reliving of a common experience. I didn’t need to itemize the benefits of cooling off or list the features of ice cream and this particular store. You were drawn in by your imagination. Facts tell. Emotion sells. You imagined how you would win over the odds of heat by taking a break for ice cream. We follow leaders who capture us by stories that draw us in and give us purpose for being part of the company. We buy products when we see or read of the human experience with that product. (Remember the Maytag Man?) And we accept the call to action if we hear a compelling story about triumph over odds. Think about the solicitation letters you get from non-profits. They are often stories of individuals who suffered greatly until the non-profit’s “product” allowed them to regain a semblance of their life. In short, crafting compelling, honest stories that resonant core values in action is a skill worth learning by any leader, manager, sales executive, or parent. In his best-selling book Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting, Robert McKee, the world's best-known and most respected screenwriting lecturer, argues that stories "fulfill a profound human need to grasp the patterns of living—not merely as an intellectual exercise, but within a very personal, emotional experience." Or as USC leadership guru Dr. Warren Bennis states, “Man cannot live without story any more than he can live without bread.” What’s the point you want to make at your next meeting? Is there a story that can be crafted to that point—not a sermon to be intoned? Who has used your product and reported a wonderful story that came as a result of that product? Or did you even say, “Tell me a story…” What stories are told in the coffee room about what it is like to work where you are? What contribution could you make to this story that could improve the ending?

When firestorms raged across Southern California and land lines were down, having a cell phone to call my family was a blessing.  When I could sit in my ocean front garden and use both hands while talking to my Mother in Florida, I adored my cell phone.  After getting lost in a jumble of streets, a cellular call helped me find my client. It's become my everywhere companion and yet, I am aware that we might just have too much of a good thing. We've all become incensed at the loud boors who turn public places into phone booths where we're bombarded with information we don't want, don't need, and probably shouldn't know.  But now, we're entering a second stage in the cellular age where this amazingly portable device can actually disrupt meaningful face-to-face conversations, the privacy of precious vacation time or the silence of reverie and deep thinking. This tiny (and getting tinier) device has become the metaphor for our 24/7 culture. It has become almost unthinkable to turn it off or plain not answer. In short, the phone controls us rather than visa versa. We live in an age of omni-accessibility according to Fordham communications professor Paul Levinson. Like Pavlov's dog, we jump every time the cell phone rings, waving off friends, family or kids just to answer the call.  We hang this device on our belts, in our pockets, or around our necks, ready to pounce when it rings.  As Levinson states, "the notion of being unreachable is not alien to human life."  That's why there are "Do Not Disturb" signs and offices with doors.  Freedom, he claims, comes in simple rebellion.  To reclaim our private time, according to Levinson, "there must be a general social recognition that we're entitled to it." What would happen if we shut our mouths, put the phone away, and then concentrated on whatever was before us: a place, a project, or-even more importantly-a person?  Think of the connection that is made when someone has our undivided attention! And, miracle upon miracles, what if that person was actually ourselves? What if we had uninterrupted time with ourselves?  Might we discover a chance to slow down and breathe?  Might we discover a small voice that's been trying to be heard above competing ring tones? Try it. Shut up. Put up. I think it will make our next cell phone call more meaningful.

On Thanksgiving Day, dawn spills over Dana Point Harbor where thousands of runners gather for the annual Turkey Trot. The largest holiday race in California beckons folks of all ages, sizes, shapes, and abilities. Waiting at the starting line for the 10-K, I talk to a Dad and his 7 year-old daughter. Around me, I hear bravado talk about marathons, triathlons, hard bodies and zippo fat content. Thankfully, I spy silver haired folks with knee braces, a young couple with babies in jogging strollers and runners decked in costumes ranging from Santa Claus to Elvis Presley. Running in a gold polyester jump suit, and pompadour wig while carrying a boom box blaring Elvis tunes will be some trick.  Me-I just want to finish. The gun goes off and we all inch our way under the balloon arch. Runners jostle for position, elbowing their way to break into stride. Me-I just grin at the new day and feel righteous for having gotten up and down to the event. By mile two, my righteousness turns to dismay as the seven year-old passes me by. Elvis has already made the turn way before me and I am lagging behind a woman who must have 10 years and 20 pounds on me. The sense of competitiveness heats up and so does my pace. I forget that I already run two miles down to the Harbor and have 4.2 miles left to go.  The runners around me set my pace. Suddenly, as I make the turn, I am struck by a humbling sight. Facing me, arms pumping runs a young man with one leg glittering in the sun. The metal shank is attached to his thigh. A thin aluminum calf leads to a metal foot curved like a rocker. He is oblivious to anyone who passes him. He is running his own race at his own pace. I slow down, take his lesson, and resume my 1-2-3-4 mantra. Lesson learned, smack between the eyes. How many times do we let others set the pace, ignoring our own goals, our abilities?  How many times do we judge our success or our failure by what others have done? I finish despite the pain in my knee. Way behind the silver-haired lady. Well behind the 7 year-old.  Ahead of the sleek bodied teenager.  It doesn't matter. It is my race, at my pace. And it is a great day for the race-the human race.

What does the American Heritage Dictionary say about leaders? Leaving behind the standard definition of "one who leads or guides", consider the second definition: "one who has power or influence".  Have you known people in a leadership role who seem unable to influence the people around them? The ability to make connections, to speak clearly and to frame information so everyone hears a "what's it in for me" message are essential for influence.  We are also persuaded by people with conviction and passion. We are influenced by people whom we think we can trust.  Lose or misuse any of this and a leader's power vanishes. A leader is defined as "a conductor or the principal performer in an orchestral section".  Finding ways to bring together the different talents of employees or volunteers so that all play from the same sheet of music and blend their instruments into a harmonious whole is a skill demonstrated by the finest of leaders!  As a principal performer, we look to a leader to have one talent that is heads above the other people in that arena of "play". We don't want a leader who professes to best at everything. But we do want a leader to have one clearly recognizable skill. Leader is also defined as "a duct for conveying warm air from a furnace." Care is a four-letter word heard more and more frequently in business circles. Employees want to know that a leader cares for them. The cold, stern dictator might get some results but never the full-blown commitment, creativity and loyalty of a warm and caring leader. What is your definition of a leader?

The restored barn perched on the hilltop overlooking the Ohio River. Piles of leaves swirled around the base of bare-armed trees. Although almost the end of November, the bright blue sky and crisp air still spoke of Autumn. I noticed what appeared to be a bronze historical marker nailed to the side of the door.  “On this site in 1897, nothing happened." Nothing happened!  What a hoot. Call it a “hysterical marker”.  Sure is in keeping with my college roommate’s sense of humor when she turned the 1941 ramshackle house into a great sprawling home. How refreshing that marker is:  Nothing happened.  Remember those days when it was just that—a day that proceeded in uneventful, unnoticed calm. How is it that our society seems to have far too many folks caught up in trying to make something happen?  We’ve got parents who pretend their child has floated away in a hot-air balloon all for the sake of getting on a TV show. Woefully untalented young adults vie to become an American Idol. Spouses degrade their relationships for the sake of swapping wives.  Thousands follow Britney twitters in a frenzy that seems to say their individual lives can be compensated by following  inane rock star patter. Maybe in all this craziness, we should have a day devoted to making NOTHING happen. Let’s just go about our business. Showing up in the moment, not checking off goal sheets, sales tallies, and how many friends we have on Facebook.  For one day, we will just breath, sleep, eat, do what we can until our mind or body says rest.  We will absolutely be vanilla, bland, unnoticed and forgettable. As counter-intuitive as it might appear, I think a day like this might just turn our head around, take the notoriety-urge down a notch.  I’m thinking of celebrating this weekend with a “make nothing happen” day.  How about you? You might be grateful you did.

STRATEGY # 1: CONDUCT A TALKING STICK MEETING A talking stick meeting allows everyone to hear a wide variety of ideas and inputs because each person who "holds the stick" is assured free speech, no reprisals, no humiliations, and no interruptions.   Many native American tribes used the stick as a way of allowing all voices to be heard. Talking Stick Meeting Checklist: Create a focus question to present to the group, assuring them that all are invited to speak, without interruption or humiliation. Form a real circle with everyone in the circle. This brings equality When everyone who wishes to has spoken, summarize the conversation and what you will do with the information. STRATEGY #2:  SEEK OUT THE "ORANGE BATONS" If you happen to get a window seat on a plane that is coming into the terminal, look out and find the man or woman who is guiding a 737 aircraft (weighing over 90,710 pounds) into position. Those small orange batons wield plenty of authority in the moment.  And well they should. You see, there's a line painted on the tarmac to show exactly where the front wheel of the 737 MUST stop.  Otherwise, passengers at the gate literally would have a pilot in their laps. The problem:  the pilot sits too high to see that line. The pilot depends upon the "orange Batons" -those closest to the situation-to move the craft into position. Everyone has orange batons in the workplace. The higher up an organization a manager sits, the more crucial is the conversation.  As customers, we've all been privy to disgruntled customer service reps who can't help us because senior managers have created practices that tie their hands. Recently, I asked to speak to the support service personnel on a Delta Sky Miles Account. The agent informed me that even THEY can't TALK to support personnel. "We can only use FAX and Courier service," was the response.  I was angry and so was the agent.  "They" had made decisions without asking the Orange Batons what the ramifications might be. STRATEGY #3  PAY ATTENTION TO LITTLE DAVIDS When Patrick Harker, now the former Dean of Wharton School, was asked what made the critical difference in the school's most successful fund-raising campaign ($425 million in six years), he replied that he made it a priority to engage the next generation of alumni leadership. Listening to the voice of David is a tradition from the Middle Ages and the Benedictines. The abbot of a monastery made decisions after getting the input from all the monks, beginning with the youngest monk. Had the elders in the Old Testament listened to the young kid with the slingshot, the giant Goliath would have been dispatched quickly. Little David was right, but it took time for the tribe to understand that young (or new) did not mean "unskilled." Who are the newest and/or youngest on the team-your David's? It is often the newest members who ask the most discerning questions. They are not jaded by politics, the past, or protocol. Ask them for their opinions. Tell them that you expect them to teach you something at the end of three months. I guarantee that those employees will search high and wide to bring you innovation or, at the very least, an insight into some of your procedures, products, or services. "Words of wisdom are spoken by children at least as often as scientists." -James Newman, American Astronaut STRATEGY #4 LAUGHTER LIFTS THE LOAD In tough times, humor is an essential survival skill. Talk can also be funny. Not the sarcastic biting humor of put-downs and inside jokes, but rather the humor that can lighten a difficult situation or put something in perspective. A travel agency was known for helping its agents get through difficult customers by awarding the Order of the SALMON. At the end of the week, agents would know which agent had the most challenging week with customers yet still managed to keep a positive interaction going. With much fanfare, the agent explained the challenge and was urged to exaggerate and use as much humor as possible. She was then awarded a plastic salmon for her ability to SWIM UP STREAM. Being able to talk about the week, laugh at the difficulties, and be rewarded for staying calm helped generate both fun and connection within the office. Laughter can put people at ease if it is used to acknowledge what everyone is thinking. I was asked to speak at a convention in which the main session room temperature hovered around 50 degrees. People were wrapped in tablecloths. By the end of the second day, it still had not warmed up.  When it was my turn to talk, I welcomed them by saying, "Welcome to the land of the frozen chosen." Gales of laughter and applause burst out. It made a point. The attendees were CHOSEN to be there. It was a privilege. Humor also lets us divide the serious from the mundane.  Yes-the room was way too cold. But in the scheme of things, it was not as important as gathering to work out a new marketing strategy.  Humor can also point out the trite and the silly things we all do in work, relieve tension, and probably improve a process.  When one group acted out a very funny skit around the various voice mail doom loops a customer had to go through in order to get to a human being, everyone laughed...and the system changed in short order. BREAK THE SILENCE The last challenge will be pulling people away from their PDAs and text messaging to actually have a conversation. A number of organizations are experimenting with "topless" meetings-as in laptop-less meetings.  San Francisco design firm, Adaptive Path, has also put a crackdown on "crackberries", as President Todd Wilkens calls them in his company-wide blog.  He claims that people now look each other in the eye, develop closer connections and meetings are more productive. Productivity? Performance?   If the talk quotient is increase, you bet.  Talk might very well become the golden key.

Forget "fight or flight" as the only duo of responses in the face of stress. For women, there's a third response: "befriend".  A landmark UCLA study turned five decades of stress research on its head with the revelation that a cascade of brain chemicals gives women a larger behavioral repertoire when confronted with stress. The hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress response in women. It controls the fight/flight response and, instead, encourages her to tend children and gather with other women. According to co-researcher Dr. Laura Cousino Klein, now assistant professor of bio-behavioral health at Penn State, the study suggests that this "tending and befriending" response to Oxycontin produces a calming effect. Although it will take new studies to reveal all the ways in which oxytocin encourages women to care for children and band together, it might also explain why women consistently outlive men. I have addressed numerous women's conferences and corporate networks of women and I can attest to the observable behavior that participants leave these sessions feeling stronger, encouraged, and positive. I believe they also leave healthier. The famed Nurses Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends people have, they less likely they are to develop physical ailments and the more likely they are to cope better with challenges. Sadly, today's busy agendas often find women canceling the most positive and healthy thing they can do: gather with other women to engage in the kind of "rapport" and "report" talk that hallmark feminine conversations. The corporate women's networks that generate the most return for the time and money investment allow for the nuts-and-bolts training needed for the business while also creating plenty of opportunity for mentoring, problem-solving and the informal sharing of personal issues. Create a gathering of women and stand back. The energy reborn from conversation, caring, compassion and concern can move a community, a business, and a nation into a higher place.

The most significant word in employee retention is “engagement”.  Too many workers are present but their imagination, spirit and creativity have departed out the door with disillusion. Don't make these five mistakes when dealing with employees: 1.  Be a know-it-all and discount the input of others. A new senior level manager was brought into an organization. When department heads met with him, he proclaimed “lower cost, higher quality, more sales”. He asked for their input and then immediately dismissed whatever they said. The fact that he had never worked in this particular industry had already prompted skepticism. The department heads, whose support and knowledge are critical for a turnaround, have departed in droves while those who are staying just shrug their shoulders and say they’ll hunker down until they find something else. 2.  Never admit mistakes. The worn phrase from the old movie Love Story proclaimed, “Loves means never having to say you’re sorry.”  As wrong as that advice is for intimate relationships, it is just as stupid in business.  When ego and arrogance replace the realities of a decision, employees watch in dismay. The operating plan becomes mired in finding ways to justify action rather than admitting error and looking for a new, more promising direction. The cost overruns on building a large golf course were huge because the senior manager refused the input of his department heads and then spent thousands trying to cover up design flaws. 3.  Act first and think later. The ready, fire, aim approach of shoot-from-the-hip-and-think-later is all too common in our 24/7, do-it-now world.  The results can be disastrous - particularly if the vehicle for action is e-mail.  E-mail now stands for escalation and error. The person who blasts off a response without carefully considering the tone and the names on the distribution list can find himself spending time and energy undoing collateral damage. The more critical the relationship and/or the outcome of the action, the greater wisdom is in carefully measured actions and more likely than not, face-to-face conversation. 4.  Create an inner circle that thinks alike. Howell Raines, executive editor of the NY TIMES, was the subject of a 17,000-word article that appeared in the NEW YORKER. It was a brutal expose, painting a documented story of him as an arrogant bully who played favorites, listened only to a few people and pummeled far too many. When folks outside of his inner circle tried to tell him their concerns regarding Jayson Blair, the now infamous fabricator of new stories, Raines ignored them.  5.  Say one thing and do another. A high-tech manufacturing company in Southern California announced significant layoffs because of poor performance. Every budget item was to be scrutinized. The following weekend, the CEO took the top management team away to the Ritz Carlton in Monarch Beach so they could ponder these new realities. Care to guess how fast the employees got wind of this “cost-saving” move?  Or how about the professional services firm that proclaimed mandatory attendance and then repeatedly ignored a senior consultant who only showed up when he “felt like it”. If you want to model truth and trust, ask the people around you how often you engage in these behaviors. And if you are not happy with the answers, DO something different. You might also need to bring in an external coach to help you with the process. The results: you win and the organization wins.

Welcome home!  These two small words carry potent possibilities for creating a connection that evokes loyalty and teamwork.   Yet, one seldom thinks of "welcome home" in the context of work.  In fact, it is only through recent incidents that I have become acutely aware of the power this gesture holds. Scene ONE: a world away in the remote regions of the western Himalayas. Our team had been warned of the dangers in crossing the white water rivers fed by glacier melt. The crossing would be on foot and had to be done as early as possible in the day-before the sun would begin to melt the ice pack and the rivers rise within minutes. Our team of locals had gotten us up before dawn-sending us briskly on our way after a hot breakfast. They stayed behind to pack up gear, tent, and load the mules.  We made it across the frigid water by forming a human chain. Our team was too late. They had to spend the night on a rock pile, in below freezing temperatures, and cross at 5:30 am the next day. My husband and I were up early that morning with the head guide. Suddenly, we heard a shout and in the distance saw the figures of our team coming down the slope. We cheered, waved, hollered and wrapped them in an embrace with the words, "Welcome Home."  We stood around beaming at each other. For the rest of the trek, this team seemed even more helpful, solicitous and full of extra effort for those of us who welcomed them home. I frankly had not made the connection until another incident happened. Scene TWO: a combination assisted living and memory care facility in Southern California. Mom, age 93, had fallen and broken her hip. Now, two months’ from the time an ambulance sped her away to the closest hospital, I wheeled her back through the front door. Her mind and body had taken a terrible assault coupled with embolisms and a decreasing ability to emotionally or mentally cope. She would not be going back to her upstairs studio but rather into the rooms behind the locked door. As soon as we entered, the receptionist jumped up to give Mom a big hug and said "welcome home." Other care managers came up and knelt down and hugged her. When we walked down the hall toward the locked doors, residents who had known Mom were sitting in the activities room. They shouted to her and applauded.   As I pushed her down the hall to her new room, more care managers came up to us Lastly, at the door of her new room were balloons and a big sign, "Welcome Home, Mary."   I cried. Any lingering doubt about the wisdom of this move vanished.  Despite the fact Mom can’t remember them and alternates in moods that range from pleasant to belligerent, this team of caregivers continues to serve with compassion and care. They come from different parts of the facility to tell me they are so glad our whole family has come home. Funny. The first day I left her, the security guard at my building hollered out "welcome home." I swear I had never heard that. Welcome Home Insights for Leaders How do you make employees feel as if they are welcomed home?  One surgeon was overheard telling a custodian, "Hey, Frank. Glad to see you this morning. I never worry about the cleanliness of this hospital when I see you here."   Don’t you think the employee felt as if he was, "welcomed home"?  I do. Do you notice when employees are absent-whether for illness, travel, or even vacation?  And when they come back, do you welcome them home? Sounds trite, but I am beginning to think it is the small things that help us feel valued. As the economy turns around, you might very well want to bring back employees who have been laid off.  How will you welcome them home? What about your customers or clients?  How do you welcome them home? One bank teller not only didn’t welcome a long-time customer "home" but insisted that he could not validate a parking ticket unless the customer made a transaction. The customer was so angry, he made a transaction: closed an account that had several thousand dollars in it. Welcome Home Insights for Employees There are some people who bring joy by entering a room and others by leaving. Which one are you? If we had not cared for the staff at Mom’s residence and if she had not been kind, trust me-they would not have welcomed her home. Watch out for negativity, mean-spirited comments, and "all-about-me" behavior.  Behavior like this, even if one is a solid performer by way of numbers, will not generate a "welcome home" feeling. In one law firm, the top rainmaker was fired because the managing partners determined that his behavior so undermined the office that they were better off without him. Always leave well. Should you leave for another company, another career or even retirement-make sure you leave speaking only well of your employer. Who knows-you might want to return someday. Remember:  home is not given but made. What will you do to make your work a place in which people feel welcomed home?