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I’m trying to practice requisite variety - looking for multiple responses to a given situation. After all, it’s what Darwin proclaimed would decide what species made it: the ones with many ways of adapting to the environment.  Unfortunately, sometimes I am stuck with a singular way of thinking about something. Like my thinking about crows. My neighborhood has seen an infestation of crows. These black, dive bombing, cackling birds have scared away my song birds, left poop all over my patio, and even swooped down and snatched my sandwich when I turned my back. A scarecrow didn’t work, spikes don’t work, and poison is out of the question. Vector control also refuses to trap and relocate them. Requisite variety finally came into play when the neighborhood office hired a falconer. A falconer! Who knew that training birds of prey was a profession in my town.? Imagine, swooping, whistling hawks across the sky. There’s no bloodshed. These predators are trained to merely haze the birds until they decide not to return. Wow…just scare those pesky birds. Genius. A natural, green and sustainable activity. A very different viewing point and perfect. Now that’s one for the books.

David and his wife were scheduled to have dinner with us on Sunday, a date established months before. Alas, three days before our gathering, David sent us a picture of his face and an email that said he’d have to cancel. His face was covered in hives and the doctor was running tests. The doctor said it was a food allergy exasperated by stress. As David explained, “There’s simply a great deal on my plate of late including multiple projects at work, over committed on my volunteer work and contemplating impending retirement. Typically keep my head down and power through such periods but this is a bit different. “ But maybe, David isn’t so different. In doing research for my book debuting in August 2020 but available for pre-order on Amazon.com , Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience to refuel, recharge and reclaim what matters, I am uncovering a number of “Davids”, men and women of different ages who are reporting physical symptoms that range from eczema to even passing out from exhaustion.  In every instance, their explanation to me is that felt they just had to work at that pace and take on so much. Amazing how our internal self-talk overrides what our body is telling us—if only we would listen! Two people said they were trying to live up to their parents expectations. Another individual said that getting accolades and raking in commendations and financial rewards had been paramount. Fortunately, his body literally collapsed, and he now is serious about what really matters. I say “fortunate” because in 2013, 21 year-old Moritz Erhardt was discovered dead, sprawled across the shower floor and slumped against the door. Erhardt had won a highly competitive summer internship at the Bank of America Merrill Lynch in London but it was a costly victory. An article in The Guardian quoted one City intern who told the reporter that at the time of Erhardt’s death, working for more than 100 a week was normal for interns. In my current research , summer interns in many global financial institutions are still expected to work from 9am -2am. Sure they are paid handsomely for it but one has to ask “what price is being paid with their body?" While Goldman Sachs issued an edict in 2015 that stated interns have to stay out of the office from midnight until 9am, it’s not so mandated in investment firms.  Rather, it appears that perceived pressure to be seen as one of “the team”, pushes individuals to extremes that might be harmful.  Perhaps some team members have the stamina of a thoroughbred and can go the distance.  But other members might be better suited to the deliberate pace of a Clydesdale horse. (Recall the Budweiser horses.) My point is not to single out a specific industry but rather to raise a caution flag. Your body is a machine that—like all machines—needs to be cleaned, tuned up, oiled, and plugged into an energy source.  Machines wear out when used non-stop and so do our bodies. Ariana Huffington’s personal wake-up call came in the form of a fall from her desk, resulting in a nasty gash over her eye and a broken cheekbone. That experience literally woke her up to write Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a life of Well-being, wisdom and Wonder.   Huffington is now strongly committed to ensuring that her company puts in systems and processes that help employees live balanced healthy lives. Her voice is one that facilitates these sessions at the yearly World Economic Forums in Davos. But we don’t all work for Ariana. You and only you are the first defense in breaking out of a physically unhealthy pattern of work. Consider and LISTEN closely to your body. Ignore the voice in your head that says things like: “you’ll be seen as a laggard.You’ll let people down. You can rest later. You’ll never get everything done if you stop now.”  Yada, Yada, Yada. Imagine how much better your brain will function on rest. You won’t have to redo so much or make so many errors. Truthfully, ask your body if it is a thoroughbred or a Clydesdale? And when you hear the answer—have a glass of champagne or a beer

The current environment brings additional stress to our homes and offices. Physician burnout , for example, is rampant.  You probably know some of the symptoms. Here are but a few. Check them off and then consider some actions. Some Burnout Symptoms: Work leaves you physically and emotionally drained. You feel like you are accomplishing less and doing more. You put your work first but no one appreciates your efforts. You've lost your sense of humor and playfulness. You find yourself short-tempered and angry. You go on vacation but the feeling of overwhelm comes back immediately upon return. What can you do to gain a sense of control? Consider just some of these options: Hold certain times sacred. Mark off a period of time for yourself on your calendar and treat it with gold. Learn to say "no" by creating realistic boundaries.  Speak up when you are overwhelmed. Remember, no one but YOU knows what you really do in the course of a day. Establish limits that honor the needs of the people around you while preserving the integrity of what you can honestly do. Create a workspace that nurtures your soul. Whether it's filled with pictures of the grandkids or flowers from your garden, this space must speak of you. Exercise to burn off stress. Allow 15 minutes in the morning just for you. This is quiet time for centering, breathing, preparing for the day. You'll be glad you did. Remember: you are the captain of your ship. Pay attention to the wind and waves.

Anyone in the audience when I have given my presentation, “Radical Resilience”, knows that I believe action is the antidote for anxiety. Sitting and stewing, muttering and watching storm clouds, or pacing back and forth does nothing. When we begin to take control over even the smallest part of our life, we begin to gain a sense of forward momentum. Read the rest of the article on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/five-tips-holding-business-yourself-together-mcdargh-csp-cpae/

The Conference Board recently surveyed Americans asking how many of them would take a vacation in the next six months. The results were shocking: only 39 percent (the lowest in 30 years) said they would dim the office lights, close the door and slip off to sip rum drinks in coconuts sometime in the next six months. The outrageous gas prices and sluggish economy are contributing to the problem but there is more to the story. According to an article in SLATE , "everyone seems to be suffering from job creep" created by technology such as Blackberries and laptops that make workers accessible 24/7. This encroaches more and more on family time and adds even more stress to personal relationships. Every other industrialized nation provides guaranteed sick leave to employees while Americans work more hours than any of our brethren in other countries.” Working long hours, getting less sleep and spending less time with your family and friends cause workers more stress. Stress translates into more sick time and more employees with depression and other emotional issues. Sick and unmotivated employees don't perform well in the office and down the line, that additional sick leave will cost corporations millions of wasted dollars a year. You owe it to yourself and others: Carve out personal time for yourself and your employees and reduce the toll taken by the 24/7 work week.

No job is ever ordinary—particularly if one chooses to make it “work”.  Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Work is love made visible.”  No place is this more evident than at Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis where a 33-year-old housekeeper decided to make patients smile through her art. In a recent engagement to speak to oncology nurses at Siteman Cancer Center, located on the campus of Barnes-Jewish Hospital, I found myself mesmerized and smiling at a huge purple elephant painted on a widow and at various other art objects tacked to a wall. To my surprise, the art is the work of Kailey Custard, a full-time employee in environmental services who on her first day of work, noticed a colorful pair of two giraffes facing each other. The giraffes could be seen by patients and staff at St. Louis Children’s hospital across the street. Kailey decided to join the fun. “Art is something that makes people happy because they can relate to it,” says Custard. “People are battling cancer on this floor and it’s sad. Instead of always being sad, I wanted to help our patients feel better.” With the help of the nursing staff, patients and visitors now see pinwheels, paper flowers and new window paintings on the unit. Custard completes her projects on her breaks. According to Mary Drago, BSN, RN Clinical Nurse Manager on Custard’s floor, “Kailey coordinates art projects for staff, patients and visitors. She sings to our patients, makes waffles for the nurses, drew this amazing purple elephant on a window, while keep our floors spotless.” BJG housekeepers are supplied with “while you were out” cards to let patients know what services were done while they were out of their room. But Kailey goes one step further. On the back of the card, she draws pictures or writes something encouraging. Custard believes this brings her closer to the staff, patients and visitors. As I learned more about Kailey Custard. I realize she’s not a housekeeper. She’s a home-maker.

Just received a reading pillow from a great new family-run business Keen Edge Home. To my amazement, this not-so-little gem had been vacuum sealed in plastic packaging. The instruction is to take it out, fluff it up like a normal pillow, and wait 24-48 hours for it to reach full and expanded size. (See the before and after pictures.) I believe this package delivered on Sunday is meant to be my meditation. I bet I am not the only one who has days in which your spirit feels shrunken, depleted, and small. You know what that’s like: a rejection from a client, an inability to see light at the end of a difficult tunnel, an unkind comment from an acquaintance, a sense that everyone seems to be thriving in their work and you’re not, the loss of a special relationship. The list could go on. The first instruction is to take your spirit out and fluff it up. I believe that means to get out of your physical surroundings. Leave your desk chair. Get out of the kitchen. Go walk some place where you see green trees, flowers, water, animals. Whether a park or the beach, a creek or a garden, let it be a site that opens your sight. Nature reminds us that life comes in cycles: from the enfolding of earth in winter, to the blossoming in spring. Whatever you are feeling, remember “this too shall pass”. Resiliency requires faith. Breathe deeply and wait. It might take more than 48 hours to be shaped into the wonderful person you are. I believe will happen as surely as my shrunken reading pillow expands into what it was meant to be.

Challenge yourself today to catch your breath. When athletes have been running hard and long, they need time to catch their breath before they can begin again. So do we. Breathe. In your nose, out your mouth. Then do it again. See how good that feels? Did you know that taking a deep breath through your nose improves cognitive function? It also improves your mood, and maybe your life. I don’t care how fast you are, or how strong you are, sooner or later you have got to catch your breath. I learned that when my mentor and uncle, John O’Brien, had a heart attack in the courtroom. It’s a story I tell in my book The Elegant Warrior, but suffice to say he hadn’t taken time to catch his breath in a long while. Nor had I. And after that experience, I swore that with every sprint, I’d find time to catch my breath. I swore that with every marathon, I’d find even more time. But I’ve failed. I’ve broken those promises, and haven’t always given myself the vacations and the breaks I’d promised myself. I write these articles as much for me as for you. Today, let’s all take the time to catch our breath and improve our resiliency. It may mean meditating for a little longer, reading a book in the shade, or taking a warm bath. Whatever it is, go to the place where your breath is waiting for you. Catch it, and sit with it for a short while. Then carry on with your sprint, or your marathon, better for the additional oxygen in your lungs and the smile on your face. Now share with Eileen and I–when was the last time you caught your breath? What does that look like for you? Give us some suggestions of good ways to catch your breath, and we will all learn from one another. Deep breath in the nose, out the mouth. Heather Hansen is a trial lawyer, consultant and professional speaker. She has defended medical malpractice cases for over twenty years, was recently inducted into the American College of Trial Lawyers and is consistently named one of the Top 50 Female Attorneys in the state of Pennsylvania. Heather works as a communication consultant, combining her courtroom experience with her psychology degree and her training as a mediator to help her clients ask better questions, master objections, and use credible persuasion to succeed. She has appeared on CNN, NBC, Fox News Channel, and Good Day Philadelphia, and is the host of The Elegant Warrior podcast. Heather lives in New York City.

Adaptability is the first critical skill in responding to every situation (positive or negative) in our life. It also means looking for multiple options. This amounts to a willingness to explore. When my nephew was a child, I remember well the lesson he taught all of us: At age 7, Sasha had all the curiosity of a cat and the wisdom of a sage. Adopted from Russia at age 5, by my brother John, Sasha stood on the shore of one of the main piers in Cape Cod. He began jumping up and down on the sand, begging to explore the refuse that exist at low tide among the pilings. Being a good father, John insisted that he’d get filthy… be a mess… Besides, it was unsafe… broken glass, bottles, garbage and DEAD THINGS. The last two words ignited Sasha’s plea to new heights. “But Papa,” he hollered—waving his arms and looking more like Ms. Frizzle and her magic school bus, “to discover, one must take chances and make messes.” Wow… “to discover, one must take chances and make messes.” If that isn’t the wisdom of the spirit, I don’t know what is. How do we grow, learn, celebrate our insatiable creativity if we color within the lines, only try what is safe and known, stay in a sterile pattern. What will you discover today because you took a chance and made a mess? How might taking that risk create a new response you never tried? I’d love to know.

Laughter Turns Upset into Onset… for a relationship that is. Strangest thing about humor. When found and used appropriately, it creates a bond and wins people over. When confronted with serious situations, laughter is often the first ingredient to dispel tension and get things moving again. As Victor Borge was known for saying, “laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” It is also what attracts others to us and our services. I remember seeing a sign in a travel agency in Miami. “Please Go Away”. I wanted to do business with them. At least I know they’d be fun! A colleague sent me a notice he said came from an IRS office: “We've got what it takes to take what you've got.” At last: a government agency with a sense of humor. A friend went to a restaurant in Washington State. She observed another patron who had apparently ordered the chicken and it was definitely not to his liking. He called over the waiter and proceeded to yell at him about the lousy food. “This is BAD chicken,” he shouted holding up the plate to the stunned waiter. That waiter didn’t miss a beat. He grabbed the plate and proceeded to spank the chicken, saying “Bad, bad, Chicken!” Everyone in the restaurant broke up laughing. Now in a heartbeat, the waiter apologized and said he would bring back a new dinner. But it was the laughter that broke the spell and got things back to a place where the waiter could actually help the customer. If something happens today to get your dander up, see what might be the humor in the situation. If you laugh, the silly upset goes away and what remains in its place is the real issue to be handled. Hoping you find laughter this week. Remember and the world laughs along. Or at least chuckles!

I admit: I’m a hard charger. And the thought of taking “a nap” goes against my grain. But this article convinced me that re-energizing is more than a good night’s sleep and practicing intelligent optimism. So sit back. Take a deep breathe. And read. Your resilient spirit will thank you. Daytime napping has long been a dividing issue. Some swear by it, claiming it gives them the energy they need to go through the second half of their day. Others look down on daytime nappers, thinking they’re rude, lazy, or perhaps even hungover. But as we are all becoming more mindful about our daily habits, people’s views on daytime napping are starting to change. It is still nowhere near as revered as green tea or meditation, but it’s certainly getting there. And when it comes to midday downtime rituals, power napping is the go-to option for numerous people with busy professional and personal lives. Participate in the Slumber Secrets nap quiz and read the rest of the guide!

According to a CIGNA Survey conducted in 2018, 46% of Americans feel lonely sometimes or always. Only around half of Americans (53 percent) have meaningful, in-person social interactions, such as having an extended conversation with a friend or spending quality time with family, on a daily basis. Gen Z's are among the most lonely. Although the 18-23-year-olds think they are super-connected, they are not. They're attached to the wireless "umbilical cords" connected to smart phones which—in the scheme of things—are not very smart. Communication that is purely digital can never replace the sound of a voice or the touch of a hand. Or—for that matter—the tone of a voice. Chronic use of social media increases loneliness. Here’s the kicker: loneliness has been determined to be more dangerous to your health than if you smoked 15 cigarettes a day! According to Vivek Murthy, former US Surgeon General, this loneliness epidemic poses significant risk for our nation’s well-being. A Brigham Young University study showed that loneliness can weaken your immune system, increase inflammation, and fuel heart disease and stroke. Doesn’t sound resilient to me. One solution: meaningful human connection through listening. When connected with someone who lovingly and respectfully listens with her heart, life become lighter, even healthier. It’s such a simple but powerful tool that psychologist Tracy Ruble began setting up chairs on a sidewalk in San Francisco. Trained volunteers sat and just listened to any passerby who just wanted to stop and talk. From humble beginnings in 2015, Sidewalk Talk has grown to over 400 volunteers in 50 cities and in 12 countries. According to Ruble, “We aim to teach people how to be effective listeners and compassionate community members so we can all show up and support one another. We teach people how to be listeners and empower them to start Sidewalk Talk chapters in their own cities.” SO, dear readers, put away your not-so-smart phones. Walk into your home, office, or neighborhood and just try listening to one person without judgment or advise.  I’m in the field of communication and I know I can always become a better listener. Time to impact the loneliness epidemic! Having a solid social network of real friends is an antidote, even the Magic Elixir for good physical and mental health. Being social can prevent us from being lonely which stresses our immune system.