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While the debate goes on about energy companies and the EPA, let’s get personal about our own energy consumption. No, not oil or gas but rather what saps the very energy of our bodies. Let’s face it; we all know the mantra, “too much to do and too little time”. So we throw ourselves feverishly into life. Stop. Here are some ideas that take a little time but can result in an energy boost. Drink water. Yep, plain old water. Our bodies become fatigued when they are dehydrated. The problem - your body doesn’t TELL you it needs water. Which is why you could set your smartphone to buzz on the hour and go grab at least 16 oz. of water every hour. Women need about 64 oz. a day and men about 96 oz.Glub Glub. Get some shut eye with a power nap. Ten minutes seems to be what brings me back to life.When I worked for a company, I sometimes closed the door and curled up under my desk. Not a good idea though because when someone came in and I was sound asleep, I almost knocked myself out by sitting up too quickly under the desk.  Putting my head down on the desk was a much better idea. Exercise regularly. Seems like a no-brainer but so many folks don’t do that. Just 30 minutes of any type of aerobic activity of ANY intensity has been found to up the endorphins, clear the cobwebs, and send blood to your extremities. Hug!It would be best to hug a person but you can also count on a pet. Scientists have found that hugging increases oxytocin and decreases the stress hormone cortisol.Love hugs! Write in a gratitude journal.When we focus on what we are grateful for, it creates a subtle but strong energy force field that helps a sense of optimism and also possibility. I would love to hear what you do that renews your energy.And I will send more tips in further blog posts.

"IT” starts in Gary, Indiana at US Steel’s immense integrated mill (the largest of its kind in the Northern Hemisphere). “IT” continues in Orlando with the United States Postal Service and Hurricane Irene. And “IT doesn’t stop until long after I return home to Southern California and a 7.0 earthquake. The “IT” is a laptop malfunction—the unnatural calamity created when technology and a virus meet. First, installing the software challenges a neophyte. What the heck is a “keyring”? Why are the gauges literally written in Greek? Forbid I should call the support line. The posted hours in the manual are from 9am to 6pm Pacific Standard Time. Does a TON of good when you’re perched in the Midwest! Next, wait until the appointed hour and try placing a toll call from an airport location. Voice mail hell reigns supreme. A garbled voice mumbles some unintelligible phrase and directs me to call another number. Seems that what is printed in the “quick start guide” of this newest edition is wrong. Dial the new toll call number. A recorded voice directs me to redial the very number that had just proved wrong. At no time am I even given the option to speak to a REAL person. At the next location I try again, dialing any number that is printed. One works—for a product OTHER than the one I purchased. I seem to be put into a line for service. Elevator-type music plays and at no time am I told what the wait will be or if—ever—I can be helped. Finally, when I get home, I dial a 900-number to get help and jump all over the poor technician who answered. (To his credit, he agreed not to charge me for the call.) Angry. You bet. So here are the lessons you can use if you wish to turn away customers: Respond to calls only at your convenience. Forbid anyone from working hours that match the work hours of the majority of your clients. Never read your marketing material for errors. Make sure you never allow a customer to find a human for assistance. Have a customer go through many steps in order to find you. Reward only the most persistent. Make sure you waste a TON of their time. Never call back an angry customer and thank them for pointing out the errors in your system. Here’s the deal. If you’re as big as this software company, hundreds of people must have been getting this lack of response. How long does it take them to fix it? Please help my small company.  If our voice mail system goes down, please e-mail or text us so we can get it right. Text is 949-637-4233.  Let me publicly thank Esther Eagles from Eagles Talent Agency for getting mad enough to continually call my office. We wondered why our phones were so quiet that day.  Sure enough. There was a glitch. Stuff happens.  But we want to make it right. ASAP. Naturally. And so do you.

The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote: "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves." Zora Neale Hurston also penned, "There are years that ask questions and years that answer." Both of these sentiments underscore a need for us to sit in a space of not knowing and being open to asking ourselves critical questions. In short, to be our own coaches. I know no finer coach and master of THE questions than Toronto-based Michael Bungay Stanier. He kindly offers this guest blog post and resources to help you - my faithful readers - as a great way to move into this new year. And now: Here's Michael! Resiliency Has A Place in Your Career Why is personal resilience important? What does it have to do with your career? What does resilience even mean to you? Resilient systems have built-in fail-safes so that when something breaks, the step to recovery is clear. This speaks to an ability to bounce back and resist damage. But as Eileen often insists, that standard definition isn't adequate for human beings. As she says, "it means to grow through." When something unexpected, and perhaps negative, happens, it's useful to have that built-in fail-safe, a quick way to fix the bad situation. But what true personal resilience looks like is a willingness to keep going when things get difficult and to roll with the punches. It's important to solve problems and adapt, but what you're really looking to do is not to go back to how things were but instead move farther forward, to get better and wiser. In my book The Coaching Habit, I talk a lot about asking questions. Asking questions is the key to effective coaching. Asking questions isn't just a tool for coaching others, though. If you ask yourself the right questions, you yourself can become more resilient in your career. You just need to understand a few concepts and know what we mean when we talk about resilience. Understand Control versus Influence It's important to understand the difference between control and influence. You can control yourself, your reactions and your behaviors. You can influence much more. You may not control a situation, but you can influence the people involved in it, for example. If you cannot control or influence something, just let that particular thing go. If you want to influence something you have no control over, find the best way to do that. Ask yourself, "What do I control? What can I influence?" and then go from there. Create Rapid Prototypes Don't create one big thing that is dependent on a thousand different things. Figure out how to do lots of small things rather than over-investing in one big thing. If one small thing fails, it won't matter too much, but if that one and only big thing fails, it will take a toll. If one small thing succeeds, you can move on it quickly. This strategy ties in well with creating that fail-safe system. What small step can you create now? Build Support Systems Create your own support system. Invest in your relationships with your family and friends. The people you surround yourself with are important - these people are your resilient resources, the reason you strive to do well and to do better. They will work to increase your personal resilience, as they've been through both the good and the bad with you (and have stuck around). Question: Who is in your support network? How do you nurture them? Daily exercise can be another kind of support system. If you make time for physical activity every day, you will be more efficient at work and in life. An active lifestyle makes you feel better and increases your capacity and resilience. Question: What commitment can you make to exercise today? Never Stop Learning Increase your capacity to learn. Learn from your mistakes and from your successes, and appreciate what you take from both. Resilience comes from learning. Ask yourself and your team questions after every engagement - for example, "What was most useful here for me?" and "What was most valuable here for you?" Think about what you want to remember post-event. These questions will drive your learning and, in doing so, increase your capacity, which drives your resilience. Personal resilience equates to flexibility, strength and self-management - all of which are important keys to building a successful career. It's easy to give up or shut down in the face of adversity, but it's much more fun to overcome it and develop because of it. About Michael Bungay Stanier Author of The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever, Michael Bungay Stanier is the Senior Partner of Box of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. It is best known for its coaching programs, which give busy managers practical tools to coach in 10 minutes or less. Download free chapters of Michael's latest book here.

For the past 5 years, the hills above my Orange County, CA home have stayed a dusty, drab brown. Rain has been but a distant memory and succulents have replaced colorful plants. My lawn has been decimated to a concrete patio with 2 small flower beds. Weather or not we got rain doesn’t seem to matter. After all, this is a desert state. Rains have finally come in but the reality is, we are foolish to forget the need to conserve water. It is, after all, a finite resource. I love the deep green hills but I also know that I must not ignore the reality of a precious water supply. What is amazing is how resilient the hills are. Despite five years of little moisture, just a small sprinkle unlocks the seeds below the cinnamon-colored ground. Grass springs out in all its verdant glory. Rain reminds me of love. It takes such a little bit of love to turn a lonely, dusty soul into a budding human, green with possibility. The question here is whether or not you extend it. Today, more than in my memory, we need to extend that love to as many as we can — not just the people who look like us or believe like us. Best of all, love is a bottomless well. Unlike water, it can be tapped over and over again and with use, extending love and kindness seems to enrich the giver. We all become green and growing.

Decades ago when I started my consulting practice, colleagues looked at me with envy, expressing a desire to leave corporate life and “work from home”. They thought it would be easier, more fun, and less stressful. Sounded good in theory but the truth is there are upsides and downsides to that decision. Today, a compromise appears in the form of a rising trend in telecommuting. According to Global Workplace Analytics, as of January 2016, these are the most current statistics: Regular work-at-home, among the non-self-employed population, has grown by 103% since 2005. 3.7 million employees (2.8% of the workforce) now work from home at least half the time. The employee population as a whole grew by 1.9% from 2013 to 2014, while employees who telecommuter population grew 5.6%. Before you make a move, consider the pros and cons as outlined by Jenny Holt, in the November 2016 issue of New York Jobs. I think you’ll find this article helpful and I've included a couple of paragraphs below. Working from Home: More Pros than Cons? There’s nothing like getting up late, not stressing about a commute, and sitting down at your laptop with a big breakfast and no outside distractions to start your day at work right? Well, that seems accurate until you realize you’re in the comfort of your own bed, have access to far too many TVs, and have no fear of a micromanaging boss. Whether you are a home-based business owner who works from home full-time or someone who decides to work from home occasionally, there are a number of pros and cons to consider before you set up your home office. Maybe you’re a pro at job hunting online and maybe you found what seems like the greatest remote job. Hey, maybe you found a company headquartered in Buffalo but live in Rochester and would find the commute to be tiresome to drive through during rush-hour traffic. Having the option to work remotely full-time sounds like a dream come true, but without the stamina and discipline, it may seem like you’re dedicating more time to doing your laundry and cooking meals than actually working.

"What kind of flower are you?” The question took me aback when I read it. Could the writer be suggesting that the kind of flowers we surround ourselves with offers testimony to our view on life? The more I thought of it, I realized there was a great truism here. Nature offers her treasures as subtle metaphors for so many of life’s lessons. Here was my mine: In my work as a professional speaker and consultant, I had found myself sometimes overwhelmed with the amount of work and travel on my plate. At other times, I found myself beginning to panic with the scarcity. “It’s either pheasant or feathers”, I’d grumble. Some colleagues had told me that I worked too hard on material, constantly editing, adding, pruning, and arranging. “But it makes what I do more timely and current,” I’d respond and silently wonder if they were right. And then I read this question. “But of course,” I thought. “ROSES!” In our small strip of California garden, I have planted rose bushes. In season, they bloom profusely, coming back in abundance the more I tend them, weed, fertilize, AND give them away. Out of season, their bare stems look forlorn and without potential. Yet I know that in due time, the nourishment received from this time of rest will bring them back in abundance. It is the course of their life. It is the pattern of my work. When viewed in this manner, I now understand that my work pattern reflects the natural world of roses. It’s not right for everyone. But it is right for me. Guess I’ll just bloom when and where I am planted!

A cornerstone of resiliency rests in the ability to be adaptable, to respond in multiple ways to any given circumstance. Alas, easy to say harder to do because of routine. Consider the fate of Howard Johnson’s restaurants.  At one point in time, the orange tile roof eatery could be found across all major highways and turnpikes throughout U.S. It made more money than McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC combined. In fact, it was second only to the U.S. Army as the largest purveyor of food. Today, HoJo’s are but a distant memory of Baby Boomers. What happened?? Business as usual happened—routine. Here’s the story: Howard Deering Johnson started the operation simply in 1925 with a drugstore soda fountain in Quincy, Mass. He increased the butterfat content of the ice cream and did a booming business. By 1929, he opened a second shop and then, in the midst of the Great Depression, Johnson pioneered the idea of restaurant franchising. With the advent of the auto, he saw opportunity to grab hungry travelers along the major roads. He added motels and the eat-sleep concept was born.  On trips from Georgia to my grandparents in York, PA, my family always spent the night at Howard Johnson’s in Danville, VA and ate fried clams in the restaurant and followed it with ice cream. Of course, their “rule” was that you could not have an ice cream cone unless you took it outside. But then the world changed. Fast food became the order of the day. Road trips became passé. And others jumped on the eat-sleep wagon. As for HoJo’s, they kept doing things the same way, everyday, every time.  Routine felt safe and unfortunately, not sustainable. Routine doesn't just happen in the running of our enterprises but also in our everyday life.  According to Dr. Neil Dempster writing in Incident Prevention, there is a psychological phenomenon referred to as “above-the-line” and “below the line” in decision making. Above-the-line decisions are made through conscious thought processes.  However, much of our reactions and decisions come from below-the-line. These are unconscious responses that are the result of past conditioning that has become routine. When I suddenly brake my car and throw out my right arm to protect the passenger sitting beside me, I am not making a conscious decision. It is automatic. It has become routine. According to Dempster, more than 95 percent of all human behavior originates at the below-the-line level. That’s not a bad thing. Our subconscious mind processes information thousands of times faster than the conscious mind and protects us in many ways. But in the face of a challenge, a change, or a potential opportunity, resilient leaders would be wise to follow what I think of as “the railroad rule”:  Stop. Look. Listen. Stop the routine and ask critical questions: How is this situation different from others?Does this routine serve us in the best way?Why are we proceeding in this fashion? Look for viewing points: Who has been here before and what insight can they offer?Who has NEVER been here before and what might they see that we don’t see? Listen: Practice naïve listening. Mouth shut and ears open.Silence the “yes but” critic in your head.Listen to your intuition--deeply listen. Your gut often knows more than your head does. When the track seems clear in both directions, past and future--knowing you can only see as far as the bend in the “road”, move forward. What conscious effort will you now make?  Start small. Remember, the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. Let adaptability and not routine be your traveling companion.

There’s been a lot written about “strength-based” development approaches in recent years. You’re better off building on your natural strengths and talents, research suggests, than trying to improve your weaknesses. The usefulness of the strength-based approach explains its popularity. It makes good sense: put yourself in situations where your gifts and talents can be put to good use, and you’ll increase the likelihood of being successful. As the great motivational theorist Abraham Maslow said, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” Building on your strengths works best if you have a realistic hold on what your strengths actually are. Pinpointing your strengths takes a careful assessment of the totality of your makeup, and that includes acknowledging what you’re not actually good at. The challenge is that our self-perception is often rosy or cloudy, causing some people to highlight the brighter aspects (while minimizing the darker elements), and others to do the opposite. In my new book, A Leadership Kick in the Ass , I describe how strengths can be taken too far, and how the overuse of our strengths often turns them into weaknesses. The leader who is comfortable speaking in public may come to hog attention. The leader who is a gifted critical thinker may become overly critical of others. The leader who is great interpersonally may place too much emphasis on subjective criteria when making decisions. Every leader needs to be keenly aware that strengths can become overly potent, sometimes toxically so. The strength of drive can give way to dominance , which can become the weakness of intimidation . Likewise, the strength of confidence can slip over into the weakness of arrogance . Every leader is made up of sunshine and shadows. Paying attention only to the shiny parts of your leadership causes your shadow to grow, which sets yourself up for an ego-bruising event. Focusing solely on your strengths, and ignoring the dangers of their overuse, practically ensures a kick in the saltshaker. By all means, focus on your strengths. But stay very aware of how their overuse can have diminishing returns. Everyone is made up of sunshine and shadows! Bill Treasurer is the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer of Giant Leap Consulting. Bill travels the world speaking on courage, opportunity, and leadership. You can learn more about his newest book " A Leadership Kick in the Ass: How to Learn from Rough Landings, Blunders, and Missteps " by visiting http://giantleapconsulting.com/kickass/ . Bill has worked with thousands of executives from top organizations, including NASA, CNN, Spanx, Hugo Boss and the Pittsburgh Pirates. Learn more about Bill by visiting http://www.giantleapconsulting.com .

Dear Readers, The following story was sent to me by Justin Pickering, President of Blaine González , a global firm that translates material into Spanish and Portuguese. Justin was instrumental in translating my web site www.trueleadercreed.com into Spanish. There is a special guy in my office building. His name is Greg Dwyer. When I first met him, I did not think much. He was quiet, standing peacefully in the back of my office building's corporate cafeteria kitchen. Sometimes I would see him carrying pots and pans. Other times, he was slicing vegetables. I didn't think much of the diminutive 64-year-old wearing a maroon hat with the letters OKLAHOMA sprawled across the front. What inspired this article is how Greg manages his life and how he brings joy to everyone who knows him. You see, Greg has a neurological and developmental disorder commonly referred to as Downs Syndrome. This makes him a very special asset to his cafeteria team at the Hobbs Brook, the company that owns and manages the building my company leases. I got to know him over the months since I've started working here and after a while, I knew that Greg's story would be nothing short of inspirational. I interviewed Greg and his manager, Duane Sullivan- both 20+ year veterans of Hobbs Brook, a billion dollar company that manages commercial property in major metropolitan areas.  Duane runs the cafeteria as both the chef and the manager and describes Greg's role as a pot-washer, a vegetable peeler and whatever else he is comfortable with. Q: What is your favorite part about working together? Duane: Teasing Greg to get him going. It keeps him active and part of the process that goes on in the kitchen. We like to have breakfast together, too. Greg: Duane is my good friend and he takes care of me. Q: Do you guys ever hang out outside of work? If so, what do you do? Duane (answering for both guys): Yes. Once per year, we go to a Patriots game that our boss sends us to. We have brunch at the Four Points Hotel. We get free parking in the parking lot. I sometimes drive Greg home in bad weather as do other employees if needed. Q: What is your favorite Boston sports team and why? Duane (answering for both guys): The Patriots because they are winners and fun to go watch. We get to talk about them at work on Mondays or after any game and Greg loves to be included in the conversation. In their 20 plus year relationship, they have bonded over the Patriots, over cooking together in the kitchen and over poking good fun at each other like only true Massachusetts buddies do. Duane makes sure that Greg finishes work on time every day so that he does not miss his bus. Duane sends Greg off with an apple and a banana so he has something healthy to eat and every time they say goodbye, Duane shakes Greg's hand, looks him right in the eye and in his distinctive Boston accent says, "I love you." Another important character in this heartwarming story is Mr. D. (Tom Dusel) He is Duane's big boss. He is one of the executives who oversee several huge commercial .n example for the associates in his company. Mr. D and Greg have a ritual they share. Every so often, Mr. D comes down from his office and manages to tear himself away from forging the company's vision to have breakfast with Greg. Their favorite sandwich to share is egg, cheese and sausage on an English muffin, which, if you are from New England, you know is as common as water and as precious as air. It is known that Mr. D treasures his time with his friend Greg. The last time I saw Greg was today. He was wearing a great looking striped shirt that resembles a seersucker pattern and a sweet pair of brown Dickies, preparing him for the worst messes that kitchen work has to offer. He and Duane and I had lunch together and talked, as we often do, about family, summer fun, our jobs and other parts of our lives. Duane and I joked that Greg is the only man in the building who can stop a billion dollar company on a dime over an egg and cheese sandwich. We laughed until our sides were sore. Greg just looked at his with this serene gaze and I thought I caught what was a sly smile reveal itself stealthily on his face. You have to stop to ask yourself: How many companies out there would employ someone with Greg's condition steadily for 20+ years? How many managers would take care of the special needs of a 64-year-old man who is challenged by basic daily tasks that the rest of us take for granted - like tying shoes, getting dressed, toileting, etc. Hobbs Brook and Duane have always found a place for Greg. Greg shows up dutifully at 7AM to see his friends Susan, John, Donny and all the rest. He may retire soon and Duane told me that when he does, there is going to be a gaping hole left behind in Greg's customary corner of the kitchen. Someone else will cut the vegetables and carry the pots and pans. The sound of Greg's voice will echo through the cafeteria no more. It will be a sad day when he steps down and moves on to the next phase of his life. But no matter where Greg ends up, it's guaranteed that no matter who replaces him, that person will not be able to stop Mr. D dead in his tracks to get him to cook a sausage, egg and cheese sandwich. Postscript by Eileen: Justin and I had never met in person. We were finally to get together recently in Boston. On the day of our coffee date, Justin called in tears. Sweet Greg will not retire. That morning he had been struck by a car and killed. Justin was headed out to console Duane and Mr. D. I later found out that over 160 people came to Greg's funeral which would have tripled in size had not the service been so sudden. I am thinking they are serving egg and cheese sandwiches in heaven. One more thought. It would make a world of difference to other folks like Greg if you cared to make a donation to the residential care program offered by Beaverbook STEP since 1973. To learn more about this non-profit, check it out here . Remember, this is the holiday of giving. L to R:  Duane Sullivan, Chef and Manager of the cafeteria, Mike Lalli, Building & Facilities Manager ad Food Service Director, Greg and Thomas Dusel, President and CEO HBM

If you face disengaged employees, low productivity, low morale, and trying to get teams to do more with less: listen up! This elementary school teacher is turning the tables on traditional thinking and in the process, modeling steps that can also get results with an adult workforce. Scenario: She is given an under-resourced fourth grade in one of the lowest performing districts in the state. (We are keeping her anonymous to protect the confidentiality of her class. For the sake of this article, let us call her Ms. Resilient or Ms. R. Read the rest of the article here.

My little sister and I still talk about the time in our grandparents’ house when we were convinced we heard reindeer on the roof. Surely it must have been Santa to deliver the overstuffed teddy bear and the doll with pink hair. Or perhaps you remember lighting the menorah and getting the gold money that was actually wrapped chocolate. Perhaps it was the sound of holiday music, shopping with your husband, and wrapping gifts for the children. But imagine if you had no memory; if the face of your beloved wasn’t even a cloudy shadow in your brain. Even more painful would be the pain of your loved ones who tried to find YOU inside a body that worked but a mind that didn’t. The shadow cast by Alzheimer’s is expected to grow longer even though we resist talking about it.I can’t close off 2016 without offering up some sobering statistics in the hope that your last charitable donation of the year might be toward Alzheimer’s Research. Consider the Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research, given a 97.7 (out of 100) and four stars on Charity Navigator or The Alzheimer’s Association, your local support organization, or any organization that supports the caregivers. Consider these facts: Two-thirds of the people with Alzheimer’s are women and also the primary caregivers for someone with dementia. Every 66 seconds a person in the US develops the disease. By 2050, the time will reduce to 33 seconds. As baby boomers age, the number of the affected is expected to grow from 5.2 to 13.8 million. In 2016, total payments for health care, long-term care and hospice are estimated to be $236 billion for Alzheimer’s and dementia alone. Today 18.1 billion hours is the cost of unpaid care by caregivers. Currently, there is no slowing, no stopping and no curing this horrid disease. One last action you might take before Congress adjourns: consider calling your representatives in Congress. Here is why: Earlier this year at the 2016 Alzheimer’s Association Advocacy Forum, Senator Roger Wicker (R-MS) introduced the EUREKA Act to our advocates. The legislation establishes public-private prize competitions to accelerate breakthroughs for Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia. The Eureka Act has now been integrated into another critical piece of legislation, the 21st Century Cures Act. 21st Century Cures would accelerate the discovery, development and delivery of new treatments and cures for many diseases. It would increase funding at the National Institutes of Health for innovative approaches to addressing complex diseases. And it would streamline the regulatory process to ensure that treatments can be available to patients as soon as possible. On behalf of both of my parents who died (dementia for Mom and Lewy Bodies for Dad) and all my colleagues who also are walking this path with parents, spouses, or friends,I thank you.

In going through an old file, I came across an article I wrote that won first place for the Christmas edition of the Orange County Register 34 years ago! How well I remember going out in the driveway and seeing my article as the wrap for the paper. Although years have passed, the essence of that story seems more pertinent than ever. May you enjoy. It is said that God gave us memories so we might have roses in winter.  As this year comes to a close, the world seems more frozen, frigid, and filled with hatred. To stand strong, resilient, and resolute in creating a world that works for all – I believe we start with one person at a time. I was reminded of this belief when I recently found an article I wrote over 30 years ago for a competition in The Orange County Register. On that Christmas morning, the newspaper in the driveway beamed back at me—and I wept to see a precious memory on the front page. Here it is… “Is it all right if one of the guys from my dorm comes home for Christmas?” twin brother John casually asked Mama during a traditional Sunday call from Emory University in Atlanta. One simple yes and Bob Covin was in our lives. Christmas for the next four years would never be the same. And thankfully so. With a rousing “Ho, ho, ho,” this plump young Jewish man with a crooked grin burst through the front door each season. His left shoulder would tilt from the pillowcase stuffed with goodies slung over his back. “Ah, the Hanukkah bush,” he’d exclaim and rush over to the poor imitation of a northwoods pine. With the air of the restaurateur he was destined to be, Bob – by now we affectionately called him “Izzie” – would sniff the kitchen, pronounce a blessing over the turkey, and put Dad to shame with his flourish of a carving knife. But with Izzie, the best was yet to come. We’d dress as carolers and meander through the side streets of the Fort Lauderdale neighborhoods where elderly, transplanted Northerners cried as we sang “Silent Night” and “Oh Come All Ye Faithful.” Bob’s strong bass voice led the group, weaving a cantor’s magic into melodies molded by the mystery of a child’s birth. Like the Pied Piper, he led us under palm trees and around hibiscus, back to our living room and rollicking hours of Jewish song and dance. Under the spell of his voice accompanied by music from a folk record album, we joined hands and circled, kicked and hopped, stepped in and out, faster and faster, slower and slower. In fact, it was probably the adrenaline created in that after dinner frenzy that kept us awake for Midnight Mass. We would reciprocate with attendance at Seder Eve and he’d return the next Christmas with more songs and more dances. And in our senior year, he appeared with his lovely bride, Shelly. “Ah, the matchmaker did it,” he chuckled and patted her slightly protruding belly. “And we’ve got one in the oven.” They both beamed. As with too many growing-up seasons, college came and went and our Christmas celebration moved throughout the United States – wherever enough of us could gather in one place at one time. Izzie’s life moved him in other directions. His work led to his own restaurant. His faith led him to serve as cantor in a small community until such time a rabbi could be found. His love of life added a daughter, Stacey, to oven-baked Josh. I always think of Izzie at Christmas. In a world divided by ancient hatreds and modern cynicism, what a difference it would make if one hand reached out to grasp another. Even if it is to dance the Horah to Hava Naglia. A simple yes and Izzie taught us a lesson. Would that he could teach it still. At age 34 my dear friend died of a cerebral hemorrhage. Ah Izzie. My Kaddish for you is Silent Night