There’s been a lot written about “strength-based” development approaches in recent years. You’re better off building on your natural strengths and talents, research suggests, than trying to improve your weaknesses. The usefulness of the strength-based approach explains its popularity. It makes good sense: put yourself in situations where your gifts and talents can be put to good use, and you’ll increase the likelihood of being successful. As the great motivational theorist Abraham Maslow said, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” Building on your strengths works best if you have a realistic hold on what your strengths actually are. Pinpointing your strengths takes a careful assessment of the totality of your makeup, and that includes acknowledging what you’re not actually good at. The challenge is that our self-perception is often rosy or cloudy, causing some people to highlight the brighter aspects (while minimizing the darker elements), and others to do the opposite. In my new book, A Leadership Kick in the Ass , I describe how strengths can be taken too far, and how the overuse of our strengths often turns them into weaknesses. The leader who is comfortable speaking in public may come to hog attention. The leader who is a gifted critical thinker may become overly critical of others. The leader who is great interpersonally may place too much emphasis on subjective criteria when making decisions. Every leader needs to be keenly aware that strengths can become overly potent, sometimes toxically so. The strength of drive can give way to dominance , which can become the weakness of intimidation . Likewise, the strength of confidence can slip over into the weakness of arrogance . Every leader is made up of sunshine and shadows. Paying attention only to the shiny parts of your leadership causes your shadow to grow, which sets yourself up for an ego-bruising event. Focusing solely on your strengths, and ignoring the dangers of their overuse, practically ensures a kick in the saltshaker. By all means, focus on your strengths. But stay very aware of how their overuse can have diminishing returns. Everyone is made up of sunshine and shadows! Bill Treasurer is the founder and Chief Encouragement Officer of Giant Leap Consulting. Bill travels the world speaking on courage, opportunity, and leadership. You can learn more about his newest book " A Leadership Kick in the Ass: How to Learn from Rough Landings, Blunders, and Missteps " by visiting http://giantleapconsulting.com/kickass/ . Bill has worked with thousands of executives from top organizations, including NASA, CNN, Spanx, Hugo Boss and the Pittsburgh Pirates. Learn more about Bill by visiting http://www.giantleapconsulting.com .

Dear Readers, The following story was sent to me by Justin Pickering, President of Blaine González , a global firm that translates material into Spanish and Portuguese. Justin was instrumental in translating my web site www.trueleadercreed.com into Spanish. There is a special guy in my office building. His name is Greg Dwyer. When I first met him, I did not think much. He was quiet, standing peacefully in the back of my office building's corporate cafeteria kitchen. Sometimes I would see him carrying pots and pans. Other times, he was slicing vegetables. I didn't think much of the diminutive 64-year-old wearing a maroon hat with the letters OKLAHOMA sprawled across the front. What inspired this article is how Greg manages his life and how he brings joy to everyone who knows him. You see, Greg has a neurological and developmental disorder commonly referred to as Downs Syndrome. This makes him a very special asset to his cafeteria team at the Hobbs Brook, the company that owns and manages the building my company leases. I got to know him over the months since I've started working here and after a while, I knew that Greg's story would be nothing short of inspirational. I interviewed Greg and his manager, Duane Sullivan- both 20+ year veterans of Hobbs Brook, a billion dollar company that manages commercial property in major metropolitan areas.  Duane runs the cafeteria as both the chef and the manager and describes Greg's role as a pot-washer, a vegetable peeler and whatever else he is comfortable with. Q: What is your favorite part about working together? Duane: Teasing Greg to get him going. It keeps him active and part of the process that goes on in the kitchen. We like to have breakfast together, too. Greg: Duane is my good friend and he takes care of me. Q: Do you guys ever hang out outside of work? If so, what do you do? Duane (answering for both guys): Yes. Once per year, we go to a Patriots game that our boss sends us to. We have brunch at the Four Points Hotel. We get free parking in the parking lot. I sometimes drive Greg home in bad weather as do other employees if needed. Q: What is your favorite Boston sports team and why? Duane (answering for both guys): The Patriots because they are winners and fun to go watch. We get to talk about them at work on Mondays or after any game and Greg loves to be included in the conversation. In their 20 plus year relationship, they have bonded over the Patriots, over cooking together in the kitchen and over poking good fun at each other like only true Massachusetts buddies do. Duane makes sure that Greg finishes work on time every day so that he does not miss his bus. Duane sends Greg off with an apple and a banana so he has something healthy to eat and every time they say goodbye, Duane shakes Greg's hand, looks him right in the eye and in his distinctive Boston accent says, "I love you." Another important character in this heartwarming story is Mr. D. (Tom Dusel) He is Duane's big boss. He is one of the executives who oversee several huge commercial .n example for the associates in his company. Mr. D and Greg have a ritual they share. Every so often, Mr. D comes down from his office and manages to tear himself away from forging the company's vision to have breakfast with Greg. Their favorite sandwich to share is egg, cheese and sausage on an English muffin, which, if you are from New England, you know is as common as water and as precious as air. It is known that Mr. D treasures his time with his friend Greg. The last time I saw Greg was today. He was wearing a great looking striped shirt that resembles a seersucker pattern and a sweet pair of brown Dickies, preparing him for the worst messes that kitchen work has to offer. He and Duane and I had lunch together and talked, as we often do, about family, summer fun, our jobs and other parts of our lives. Duane and I joked that Greg is the only man in the building who can stop a billion dollar company on a dime over an egg and cheese sandwich. We laughed until our sides were sore. Greg just looked at his with this serene gaze and I thought I caught what was a sly smile reveal itself stealthily on his face. You have to stop to ask yourself: How many companies out there would employ someone with Greg's condition steadily for 20+ years? How many managers would take care of the special needs of a 64-year-old man who is challenged by basic daily tasks that the rest of us take for granted - like tying shoes, getting dressed, toileting, etc. Hobbs Brook and Duane have always found a place for Greg. Greg shows up dutifully at 7AM to see his friends Susan, John, Donny and all the rest. He may retire soon and Duane told me that when he does, there is going to be a gaping hole left behind in Greg's customary corner of the kitchen. Someone else will cut the vegetables and carry the pots and pans. The sound of Greg's voice will echo through the cafeteria no more. It will be a sad day when he steps down and moves on to the next phase of his life. But no matter where Greg ends up, it's guaranteed that no matter who replaces him, that person will not be able to stop Mr. D dead in his tracks to get him to cook a sausage, egg and cheese sandwich. Postscript by Eileen: Justin and I had never met in person. We were finally to get together recently in Boston. On the day of our coffee date, Justin called in tears. Sweet Greg will not retire. That morning he had been struck by a car and killed. Justin was headed out to console Duane and Mr. D. I later found out that over 160 people came to Greg's funeral which would have tripled in size had not the service been so sudden. I am thinking they are serving egg and cheese sandwiches in heaven. One more thought. It would make a world of difference to other folks like Greg if you cared to make a donation to the residential care program offered by Beaverbook STEP since 1973. To learn more about this non-profit, check it out here . Remember, this is the holiday of giving. L to R:  Duane Sullivan, Chef and Manager of the cafeteria, Mike Lalli, Building & Facilities Manager ad Food Service Director, Greg and Thomas Dusel, President and CEO HBM

If you face disengaged employees, low productivity, low morale, and trying to get teams to do more with less: listen up! This elementary school teacher is turning the tables on traditional thinking and in the process, modeling steps that can also get results with an adult workforce. Scenario: She is given an under-resourced fourth grade in one of the lowest performing districts in the state. (We are keeping her anonymous to protect the confidentiality of her class. For the sake of this article, let us call her Ms. Resilient or Ms. R. Read the rest of the article here.

My little sister and I still talk about the time in our grandparents’ house when we were convinced we heard reindeer on the roof. Surely it must have been Santa to deliver the overstuffed teddy bear and the doll with pink hair. Or perhaps you remember lighting the menorah and getting the gold money that was actually wrapped chocolate. Perhaps it was the sound of holiday music, shopping with your husband, and wrapping gifts for the children. But imagine if you had no memory; if the face of your beloved wasn’t even a cloudy shadow in your brain. Even more painful would be the pain of your loved ones who tried to find YOU inside a body that worked but a mind that didn’t. The shadow cast by Alzheimer’s is expected to grow longer even though we resist talking about it.I can’t close off 2016 without offering up some sobering statistics in the hope that your last charitable donation of the year might be toward Alzheimer’s Research. Consider the Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research, given a 97.7 (out of 100) and four stars on Charity Navigator or The Alzheimer’s Association, your local support organization, or any organization that supports the caregivers. Consider these facts: Two-thirds of the people with Alzheimer’s are women and also the primary caregivers for someone with dementia. Every 66 seconds a person in the US develops the disease. By 2050, the time will reduce to 33 seconds. As baby boomers age, the number of the affected is expected to grow from 5.2 to 13.8 million. In 2016, total payments for health care, long-term care and hospice are estimated to be $236 billion for Alzheimer’s and dementia alone. Today 18.1 billion hours is the cost of unpaid care by caregivers. Currently, there is no slowing, no stopping and no curing this horrid disease. One last action you might take before Congress adjourns: consider calling your representatives in Congress. Here is why: Earlier this year at the 2016 Alzheimer’s Association Advocacy Forum, Senator Roger Wicker (R-MS) introduced the EUREKA Act to our advocates. The legislation establishes public-private prize competitions to accelerate breakthroughs for Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia. The Eureka Act has now been integrated into another critical piece of legislation, the 21st Century Cures Act. 21st Century Cures would accelerate the discovery, development and delivery of new treatments and cures for many diseases. It would increase funding at the National Institutes of Health for innovative approaches to addressing complex diseases. And it would streamline the regulatory process to ensure that treatments can be available to patients as soon as possible. On behalf of both of my parents who died (dementia for Mom and Lewy Bodies for Dad) and all my colleagues who also are walking this path with parents, spouses, or friends,I thank you.

In going through an old file, I came across an article I wrote that won first place for the Christmas edition of the Orange County Register 34 years ago! How well I remember going out in the driveway and seeing my article as the wrap for the paper. Although years have passed, the essence of that story seems more pertinent than ever. May you enjoy. It is said that God gave us memories so we might have roses in winter.  As this year comes to a close, the world seems more frozen, frigid, and filled with hatred. To stand strong, resilient, and resolute in creating a world that works for all – I believe we start with one person at a time. I was reminded of this belief when I recently found an article I wrote over 30 years ago for a competition in The Orange County Register. On that Christmas morning, the newspaper in the driveway beamed back at me—and I wept to see a precious memory on the front page. Here it is… “Is it all right if one of the guys from my dorm comes home for Christmas?” twin brother John casually asked Mama during a traditional Sunday call from Emory University in Atlanta. One simple yes and Bob Covin was in our lives. Christmas for the next four years would never be the same. And thankfully so. With a rousing “Ho, ho, ho,” this plump young Jewish man with a crooked grin burst through the front door each season. His left shoulder would tilt from the pillowcase stuffed with goodies slung over his back. “Ah, the Hanukkah bush,” he’d exclaim and rush over to the poor imitation of a northwoods pine. With the air of the restaurateur he was destined to be, Bob – by now we affectionately called him “Izzie” – would sniff the kitchen, pronounce a blessing over the turkey, and put Dad to shame with his flourish of a carving knife. But with Izzie, the best was yet to come. We’d dress as carolers and meander through the side streets of the Fort Lauderdale neighborhoods where elderly, transplanted Northerners cried as we sang “Silent Night” and “Oh Come All Ye Faithful.” Bob’s strong bass voice led the group, weaving a cantor’s magic into melodies molded by the mystery of a child’s birth. Like the Pied Piper, he led us under palm trees and around hibiscus, back to our living room and rollicking hours of Jewish song and dance. Under the spell of his voice accompanied by music from a folk record album, we joined hands and circled, kicked and hopped, stepped in and out, faster and faster, slower and slower. In fact, it was probably the adrenaline created in that after dinner frenzy that kept us awake for Midnight Mass. We would reciprocate with attendance at Seder Eve and he’d return the next Christmas with more songs and more dances. And in our senior year, he appeared with his lovely bride, Shelly. “Ah, the matchmaker did it,” he chuckled and patted her slightly protruding belly. “And we’ve got one in the oven.” They both beamed. As with too many growing-up seasons, college came and went and our Christmas celebration moved throughout the United States – wherever enough of us could gather in one place at one time. Izzie’s life moved him in other directions. His work led to his own restaurant. His faith led him to serve as cantor in a small community until such time a rabbi could be found. His love of life added a daughter, Stacey, to oven-baked Josh. I always think of Izzie at Christmas. In a world divided by ancient hatreds and modern cynicism, what a difference it would make if one hand reached out to grasp another. Even if it is to dance the Horah to Hava Naglia. A simple yes and Izzie taught us a lesson. Would that he could teach it still. At age 34 my dear friend died of a cerebral hemorrhage. Ah Izzie. My Kaddish for you is Silent Night

As we prepare to close off a year that has seen more anxiety, hate speech, anger, and divisive behavior than ever before, it is a good time now to review the WORDS we use as a way of bringing us back to calm and center. 1. Speak out loud and write words of gratitude. As dark as times might be in our life, that ability to appreciate what we do have is not only good for the spirit but also good for our bottom line. According to David DeSeno, a professor in psychology at Northeaster University, “Gratitude makes us value the future more… overcoming our bias toward immediate gratification.”  Gratitude also helps us become less materialistic as we realize that much we have to be grateful for are not things! 2. Ask people how you can help them. Assisting people in need is a profound way to realize that we are all in this together. Whether giving time, talent, or treasure, you open your mind to adaptive thinking, a key resiliency ingredient.  Just because I might not have the “treasure”, I might have the talent. For example, I want to support United World College designed to inspire students to create a more peaceful and sustainable future through education. The concept is that junior and senior high school students from around the globe live in a community on one of 17 campuses for two years. They graduate with an international baccalaureate degree and an understanding and appreciation of differences. While I don’t have–right now—the treasure to provide a scholarship, I have offered my writing talent to capture the story of amazing alums. 3. Say a gracious “no thanks” when your instinct tells you. “No thank you.” “Not at this time.” “It appears we have a difference of opinions.” These phrases can keep us from a negative spiral that is draining and sometimes even demeaning. For example, I have a colleague who blasted out an angry email, making gross generalizations boldly stating that the recipients of the email were “snowflakes”—a term I later learned belonged to the “alt-right” vocabulary. I have chosen not to respond. My gut said it would be a tit-for-tat email exchange that could only get worse. 4. Speak words of love. OK. This sounds rather suspicious and airy. However, Og Mandino, in his best selling book, The Greatest Secret in the World, introduces love as the first meditation theme. He writes: “I greet this day with love in my heart for only the unseen power of love will open hearts. I will praise my enemies and they will become friends. I will encourage my friends and they will become family. Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip.” So on that note, I do love you, my faithful readers.And indeed... I am most grateful for you.

On Dec 10, 1905, O’Henry’s famous short story, The Gift of the Magi, appeared in the New York Sunday World. The summary of this classic tale is of a young couple of limited means. Jim’s most prized possession is a pocket watch that belonged to his grandfather and father.  Della treasures her long hair that fell to her knees. On Christmas Eve, Della pays bills and realizes she has only $1.87 left to buy Jim a present. She really wants to buy him a chain for his pocket watch. But the cost is beyond her ability.  She suddenly remembers that she can sell her hair. She rushes out, has it cuts, earns $20 and is able to buy the $21 chain. That night, she pulls out her present and hands it to Jim who has been staring at her in a strange fashion. The reason: he sold his pocket watch to buy her beautiful hair combs that she can no longer use. In truth, they gave each other the best gift of all: gifts of love given through self-sacrifice. Fast forward to 2016. Jim owns the latest I-Phone 7, a device he depends upon for everything including time. He didn’t want his grandfather’s wristwatch because it wasn’t high-tech. Della’s prize possession is her MacAir laptop. She uses it for everything from email to watching Netflix in bed, a benefit of her Amazon Prime membership. But like our young couple of another century, they too are burdened by paying bills, paying off college loans, and coming up with monthly rent because house flippers have run up the price of homes. What will they give each other? Jim puts his cellphone in a closet. Della puts her laptop under the bed. From Christmas Eve until Dec 26, they give each other a most rare gift: undivided attention. Imagine! Something to think about.

Grace has been defined as a “gift of God, freely given”.  People with grace evoke a sense of calm with fluid movements and unpretentious presence.  And grace-filled moments rise when a convergence of unexpected events and people evoke a sense of wonder and joy. So how does this combine with gratitude to impact resiliency? Glad you asked. Expressions of appreciation and gratitude can never be demanded. Because of that, we are delighted and often surprised when someone notices our actions and says “thank you.” We are no longer taken for granted but instead, acknowledged for the contribution we made.We smile. We expand. We feel stronger. In fact, according to the latest research in the journal Personal Relationships, spousal gratitude is found to be the best predicator of marital quality and seems to have protective effects against marital conflict.The marriage itself becomes resilient. When we are in the presence of people whom we acquaint with grace, their calm demeanor has a spillover effect. Our anxiety can lessen. Our respiration slows. We become more attuned to the NOW and not a worrisome future. Years ago, I had the amazing opportunity to sit on the ground at a remote monastery in the village of Nako in the Indian Himalayas. Under a parachute silk tent, we joined villagers who had come from parts of this remote region to this once-in-a-lifetime event. In front of me was the His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. He spoke in Tibetan to the villagers and monks gathered before him. Although I understood not a word, his presence softly covered all in compassion, kindness, and serenity. That was an unexpected grace-filled moment that brought me to wonder, joy and deep gratitude for the experience. If the Dalai Lama who has lived through tremendous conflict, been driven from his country, and hunted with a price on his head could exude such resiliency and peace, could I not try and find similar calm and compassion in my life? However, we don’t have to trek to India for gratitude. It can become a practice we can cultivate immediately. It takes awareness. Resiliency requires optimism and when we take time to notice all that we have, it has an immediate impact on our health, personal and relational well-being and human development.  In fact, the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley has undertaken a $5.6 million project called “Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude” to deepen the scientific understand of the “gratitude effect”. Gratitude starts now. Spoken out loud or captured in a journal, begin. Some days, it might be gratitude for the laughter of a child or the lick of a beloved dog. And as we enter the Thanksgiving season, I am most grateful to you, my readers. I am thankful for my wonderful family, my great assistant, my superb web master and my wonderful friends.  I have treasured clients, amazing audiences, and a strong body to travel wherever they need me.  I am utterly, totally thankful for the gift of caring for and being with my mother in the last six years of her life. How thankful that my precious sister and brother joined me in that journey. As Meister Eckhart wrote centuries ago, “If the only prayer you ever said was thank you, that would be enough."

Spend 10 days canoeing in the Boundary Waters Canoe Wilderness Area (BWCWA) and you learn the root of vacation: to vacate. Away from all technology, newspapers, cell phones and automobiles, I found my mind slowly weaning itself from the everyday demands and dilemmas of running a business and a home. If the biggest challenge is how to paddle against 20 mph headwinds, there is no mental capacity left to engage in anything but total concentration for the moment. In the bow position of a lightweight canoe, I not only needed to pull my weight but also keep a sharp lookout for submerged rocks. In some cases, the sun's glare shadowed the boulders that could easily puncture a hull. What a test of reflexes! Calm water let my mind empty itself of everything except observation of the shoreline, the diving loons and the soaring eagles. From that state, I began to notice how nature offers a continual feast for the artistic soul in all of us. Surely the black and white spotted pattern on a loon's chest was a masterpiece. Or what stories could I create from the designs I imagined in a brilliant night sky. Surely the ancients had tales of Taurus and Virgo, or Ursa Major and the Gemini twins. When your mind is vacant, it opens to new knowledge and ideas. You're not stuck in the past or worried about the future. Ahhhh... no wonder a real vacant vacation can be termed holy leisure.

You see the proverbial “storm approaching”. It could be imagining a negative outcome with a client or colleague. The storm could be a pending doctor’s appointment to get test results. Perhaps it is looking at your bank account and wondering how you will ever afford to retire. The cold winds of reality might be swirling around in your brain, waiting for the thunder and lightening to appear. Surely disaster awaits on the horizon. And then—nothing. It was all bluff and puff. Imagine: all that energy and worry spent for nothing. As the playwright Inge wrote, “Worry is interest paid on a debt you might not owe.” Here’s the deal. When we craft stories of negative possibilities, we are weakening our resiliency muscle. Resilient people look at a situation from the viewpoint of positive expectancy. It could be that having an honest, careful conversation with a client or colleague could make the relationship deeper. Test results might eliminate many possibilities and point to a clear medical strategy. Evaluating financial resources now might open a window for making refined lifestyle decisions. This is not Pollyanna thinking either. The skills of resiliency look honestly at both the upside and the downside of a situation, but spend the most mental energy in focusing on opportunity and learning regardless of the outcome. Not always easy. But always far more powerful. PS: Closing off the 5th year of drought in California, I DO hope that big winds DO bring rain!

Ever been jinxed by technology? Have you had weeks in which some trickster named Terrible Technology is haunting your office, playing horrid games with every device and no amount of Hershey kisses will make it go away? For the fourth time in as many weeks, my online bank said it didn’t recognize my user name or password. I have changed it four times. This last time, within minutes of following their digital voice instructions, it said I was ready to go. Next log on—DEAD IN THE WATER.  And no human to talk to!!! Surely it must be a trick. Or I am jinxed? This foul-up came right after I upgraded my IMac to MacSierra only to have it begin acting like some gremlin had taken over the keyboard. I’d be typing but see no letters and then strange letters in another language would appear.  Lots of clunking noises arose from the computer too! Hours on the phone with tech support netted—ZERO.  AAARGH. Genius bar time. Or maybe that should be Genius Barf time. I feel like Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. I must be jinxed: My laptop just crashed its flash storage drive. The new drive came and was fried.I bought another laptop–I must have one for my travels and speeches. Alas, it is now acting strange. I KNOW I am jinxed by technology. My smart phone is becoming dumb and I am following suit. Heck, I am so non-technical, I flunk light switch. This too shall pass, I know. But I’ll get even. An hour at the bank finally got the online mess fixed. My new password: curses2You. Please tell me I am not alone!

I admit it: a pickle pledge sounds like something created on Sesame Street to get kids to eat pickles. Or perhaps it is a rhyme: eat a pickle and get a nickel. You can have as much fun with that phrase as you’d like but nothing is further from the truth: The Pickle Pledge, created by colleague Joe Tye, is serious stuff. So serious that Midland Memorial Hospital went from an all-time low to an all time high in patient satisfaction in less than a year! And—hundreds of Midland Health employees not only made dramatic improvements in their personal lives but created an internal Cultural Productivity Benefit of $7.2 million!! All about a pickle?! YES!! The Pickle Pledge is a personal commitment to refrain from complaining, whining, bullying, gossiping and other toxic emotional behaviors that wreck havoc on those caught within the noxious fumes of negativity. The cost of toxic emotional negativity continues to cost the average organization $12,000 per employee per year according to a research paper by Harvard Business Review . In their newly released book, Pickle Pledge co-authors Joe Tye, CEO of Values Coach, Inc and a member of The Resiliency Group, and Bob Dent (Senior Vice President of Midland Health and COO/CNO of Midland Memorial Hospital in Midland Texas), offer deeply troubling research about the cost of toxic emotions on employee engagement, productivity, retention, and yes - patient outcomes. But the good news: the Pickle Pledge and the Pickle Challenge for Charity have helped hundreds of health care organizations create a more positive culture of ownership and civility in a fun and lighthearted way. Don’t think this book is only about healthcare. You will find here a step-by-step guide for how Midland Memorial Hospital turned itself around with a commitment to ownership and a value of optimism ANY organization, of ANY size can profit by following the steps outlined here. A word of caution. As lighthearted as the thought of creating “Pickle Free Zones” may be... this is serious work. It takes courage for leaders to not only take the pledge but to hold others accountable for shifting behaviors. You can buy it at Amazon.com . I’d love to know what results you get!