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Getting other people excited about our ideas is all about preparation and knowing the audience.  First, consider preparation. Do all your advance research. Has this worked in other places? Can you cite authorities or statistics that back your idea? What are the available resources of time, money, people, etc.? Think in terms of results. What will happen if your idea is accepted? What will happen if it won't? Who do you need on your side as an advocate for your idea? Tell them your idea and get their feedback so that they have no problem supporting you. Now, analyze the audience. Is your idea best received as a report? Presented live at a meeting? Brought up in casual conversation? When is the optimum time to present your idea? In other words, when is a prime time to get their attention? Know what your audience values and present your idea in terms of benefits that they value. Don't get bogged down into too much detail. Have detail in hand and be ready to anticipate objections and questions. But first, paint the picture.

No one like a “difficult” conversation. We become uncomfortable, concerned, and frankly, would rather avoid them at all cost. However, it is a dereliction of duty when a manager allows someone to stumble without giving the person a chance for honest communication and feedback. This is where Dr. Marcia Reynolds and her wonderful hot-of-the-press book come on.  The Discomfort Zone helps leaders turn difficult conversations into breakthroughs.  Marcia should know. She has over 30 years working with global corporations in executive coaching and leadership training. She is a past global president of the International Coach Federation and teaches leadership coaching and emotional intelligence classes worldwide. She is the author of 2 other books, Wander Woman and Outsmart Your Brain . Plus, Marcia is a regular blogger for Psychology Today. Read more about Marcia at http://www.OutsmartYourBrain.com.

National Boss’s Day is October 16th, an international holiday established in 1958 by a secretary for State Farm Insurance Company. Traditionally a day for employees to thank their boss for being kind and fair throughout the year, it was originally conceived as an effort to improve the relationship between employees and their supervisors. There probably have been many times when you and/or your fellow employees have complained about your boss. Plenty of occasions when you said you would never have done it that way, or when you felt you deserved credit or appreciation and it just never came. It’s probably also a good guess to say that you’ve found countless opportunities when precious time has been spent to whine, complain, and second guess. Goodness knows, we can all share the stories of the bosses from hell. However, bad mouthing the boss can be bad business. Particularly because what we give out, we get back. What would happen if we reversed the trend and let the boss know what she did well? What would happen if we actually looked for what was right rather than what was wrong. October 16th is National Boss Appreciation Day. For good reason. We need a kick-in-the-pants day. We did a quick survey and we found that employees agree that they don’t often stop to pay attention to something positive that was just said by a boss. They don’t tell the boss if his idea was a good one. They don’t let the boss know when their intervention prevented a battle, or nipped a problem before it grew. Employees say they just didn’t think of it! We believe you should. Not just because October 16th is National Bosses Day, but because giving credit, showing appreciation, noticing great behavior really does go both ways. If you want it, give it. There are at least four opportunity points for you to watch for and act on. All can easily escape you, alas, they usually do. 1. Catch your boss doing something that helped you. Ken Blanchard reminded us of the importance of this same idea when he wrote his immortal One Minute Manager. You know the feeling when something that you’ve done is ignored or discounted. Start with October 16th and then continue it from there. Managers are not mind readers. Be very specific, telling your boss exactly what they did that helped you, how you felt about it, and why it was important to you. The more specific you can get, the greater likelihood that you will get repeat performance. Natch! 2. A simple thank you goes a long way. You know how you feel when someone stops to thank you. You might have received the quick text message of acknowledgement or a post-it-note left on your desk. We expect the boss to do it to us. But do we ever expect to do it in return. It truly turns the light on you when you express a simple thank you. Keep in mind; this is not sucking up to your manager. If it is not sincere, forget it. We had an experience where a worker (who thought he had a jerk for a boss) began to focus on what his manager was doing right. His simple statement of thank you and appreciation began to manifest itself in the form of more positive behavior from the boss. Amazing! Once you see it and say it- you get it. 3. Notice more! There is so much we take for granted, so much that we expect from others. Doesn’t it feel great when your boss notices something (even something small) that you do almost every day? If the saying “whatever is recognized gets repeated” is true…then take the time to recognize the small things that seem to be done each day. Here are some sentence stems that can start you off: You made my day when… It really touched me when… I could not have done this without your help in... You surprised me when… 4. Help them help you! Instead of expecting your boss to read your mind…let them know what’s on it! Tell your boss what you need in order to do the very best work. And then, for heaven’s sake…when he does…let him know that you noticed. Don’t just make a request. Tell your manager what you need and why and what will happen as a result. Believe it or not - most bosses need and want you to succeed. If you fail, they fail. 5. Remember that bosses are people too. Aging parents. Troubled teens. Broken marriages. You name it. Salary grade and rank is an equal opportunity employer when it comes to troubles, misery and heartache. Perhaps on boss appreciation day, you might step in the shoes of your manager and seek to understand rather than to be understood. The grandiose sales figures they might be insisting upon could be coming from the pummeled fist of a senior executive or the whining voice of shareholders. It is not about you. It is about business realities. The brisk tone could be the result of too many conference calls and a mother in hospice. The irritation could be from sleepless nights and a pressing demand. Scenarios are endless. So are the ways you might use this date to think about Boss Appreciation from a spirit of generosity and compassion. The results could very well be astounding. © The Resiliency Group and Career Systems International. Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live. Beverly Kaye is the founder and CEO of Career Systems International, and a best selling author on workplace performance She has worked with a host of organizations to establish cutting-edge, award-winning talent development solutions. Her books include LOVE ’EM OR LOSE ’EM: GETTING GOOD PEOPLE TO STAY), and LOVE IT, DON’T LEAVE IT: 26 WAYS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT AT WORK. You can learn more about Beverly at http://www.careersystemsintl.com. Co-Authored by Beverly Kaye & Eileen McDargh

Face it: when somebody leaves for good, there's no reason to "butter up" the boss. Hence I was struck by the hand-scrawled sentiments on two huge retirement cards my close friend received last week.  He concluded almost two decades as the president and general manager of a hospitality organization and had wished to just quietly move on. His employees had other ideas. On and off during his last week, team members stopped by to talk and thank him for how he had led them. During his tenure, the operation had seen significant growth and increased levels of customer satisfaction. Although he would never share what words were spoken, he did let me see the cards. "Your door was always open for me." "You taught me more than I ever learned in school." "You let me express my ideas and try new things - even if they didn't work at first." "You created an atmosphere of fun and teamwork." "I feel like a great friend is walking out the door." "People told me I would be working for the greatest manager in this profession. I thought they'd be wrong. Nope - I was. You've always been there to support and guide and correct." "You helped my family when we needed it." Whether kitchen crew or maintenance, waiters or head chef, banquet captains or operations managers, the messages all spoke of an ability to listen, to be straight-forward, to be respectful as well as firm, to enjoy and to care. The leader didn't hide in an office, play favorites, or withhold information. He taught what he knew and also was willing to learn from others. What would your retirement cards say?

The most recent copy of Spirituality & Health Magazine contained a right-on-the-money article by Lance Secretan. I loved it because it spoke to something I am passionate about: Mission Statements that are rich in destiny and potent dreams.  Unfortunately, too many leaders at all different levels of an organization succumb to the blah blah of jargon and Wall Street. They provoke only yawns and no energy. Energy comes from the excitement of living large, of being part of something that matters deeply. People are drawn to organizations of purpose rather than policy. And a leader who can see such destiny is the magnet that keeps great employees. It's the leader who has the courage to speak boldly and with conviction and truth. Martin Luther King never said, "Well, maybe, I have a hunch that..." He compelled people to his work because they too could see larger possibilities and destinies. If you think this is all "blah blah", consider Timberland Boots where their cornerstone is having every employee make a difference in their community. Ranked as one of the top 100 companies to work for, CEO Jeffrey Schwartz has a vision to help people do what they do better and to use corporate resources so all employees have lives of personal meaning. Or consider Berrett Koehler, one of the fastest growing small publishing houses in the U.S. Under the guidance of Steve Piersanti, every one knows that that BK is tasked with helping create a world that works for all. Heady stuff. And authors like Meg Wheatley, Bev Kaye, and Ken Blanchard come to them. The publisher pays NO advance. What it does pay is a commitment of devoted help for the authors to make a difference with their words. Now that's inspiring stuff!

This week, Bill Treasurer’s new book, Leaders Open Doors, hits the stores. He kindly provided the following post for me. I love it. Perfection is the enemy of adaptability... much like expertise is the enemy of innovation. Resiliency depends upon trying many things, realizing there is more than one right answer. Originally published at Giant Leap Consulting on 4/18/2013. On the Importance of Leader Imperfection – by Bill Treasurer Leadership is a messy business…at least when it’s being done right. It requires making bold decisions, often while relying on ambiguous, shifting, or contradictory information. Sometimes you have to get it wrong, a lot, before you can get it right. Just ask any leader in Silicon Valley, where having had some spectacular failures is how you get your business creds. To be sure, results reign supreme, and amassing a track record of stellar results will determine one’s legacy as a leader. High standards matter. But leaders shouldn’t be judged against a standard of perfection, because it’s a willingness to be imperfect that fuels a leader’s ability to experiment, innovate, and evolve. Unless a leader has the courage to try new things, where perfect outcomes are not guaranteed, she will never grow. When it comes to leadership, imperfection is more important than perfection. Let’s face it, some tasks demand a rigor of perfection. If you’re a bridge-builder, air traffic controller, or brain surgeon, you are expected to do your job right every time. No exceptions. But it’s the task that’s expected to be perfect, not the person doing the task. It doesn’t matter if you’re socially awkward, a subpar communicator, or if you dress in secondhand vintage clothing. No one cares that you aren’t a perfect human being. Perfectionists have few rivals in their ability to annoy and repel others. Conversely, imperfections and idiosyncrasies are often the most endearing human qualities. Doing some critical tasks perfectly makes perfect sense. Being a perfect human being does not. Here are a few tips for embracing your leadership imperfection. Review Your Imperfect History Think back on all the risks you’ve taken, and mistakes you’ve made, during the course of your career. Which ones are you most proud of? How did the mistakes you made help you become the person you are today? What does that tell you about the value of making mistakes? Let Go What tasks are you holding on to because you’re convinced that others won’t do them as well as you do? Perfectionists make great micromanagers. But micromanagers don’t make great leaders. Let go of tasks that others deserve the chance of doing. Bust Up Your Routines Perfectionists are habitualists, preferring tried and true over new and improved. Leaders, conversely, are expected to bring about positive change. Purposely disrupt your habits and break up your routines. Try a different route to work, order something new off the menu, and let someone else lead the meeting. You get the idea. Reward Smart Mistakes Value imperfection in the people you lead. When they make non-habitual mistakes, especially mistakes that key the business on to a new business insight, always high-five the mistake-maker.Keep in mind that perfectionism doesn’t just inhibit a leader’s ability to take risks; it inhibits her ability to enjoy it as well. Nobody’s perfect, not even the perfectionist. So if you’re a person who can’t be fully satisfied until things are perfect, you’ll be perpetually dissatisfied. Perfectionism, then, is a joyless experience. Knowing that, imperfection is a way more attractive leadership proposition! Bill Treasurer is the Chief Encouragement Officer of Giant Leap Consulting and author of Leaders Open Doors, which focuses on how leaders create growth through opportunity. 100% of the book’s royalties are being donated to programs that support children with special needs. Bill is also the author of Courage Goes to Work, Right Risk, and Courageous Leadership, and has led courage-building workshops across the world for NASA, Accenture, CNN, PNC Bank, SPANX, Hugo Boss, Saks Fifth Avenue, and the US Department of Veterans Affairs, and many others. Contact Bill at btreasurer@giantleapconsulting.com, or on Twitter at @btreasurer.

DATELINE:  Ontario, Canada and Minnesota, USA We battle 30-knot headwinds across Lake Saganaga. I dig into the water, trying to force my upper body to add more power to each stroke. My husband controls the direction and there are times when I have to shout that we're headed toward a submerged rock. Our progress is slow until we turn into a bay. Now the wind is at our back and we literally surf into safety. Ahh. Rest for a minute. There's no time to think of the lessons I just learned. I'm the 'front line' employee, working hard to make headway. Thankfully, I have a leader who is willing to listen when I see trouble ahead. Communication has to be quick. The leader has to trust what I say and make a decision to respond. How many times have I heard managers say, "I want no surprises." Yet, when an employee comes to them with information, it's discarded. At the same time, what if I hollered "rock" when there wasn't one? I too have an obligation to speak the truth if I expect my voice to be heard. The next day, I claim the leader's role at the back of the canoe. Surely I can take this position as easily as my husband did. Another lesson looms. I discover that I need skill in turning a canoe paddle into a rudder. It was not as easy as it looked. I couldn't get the motion right. I expend far too much energy with few results. I don't have the know-how to quickly change the direction of the canoe. I need training and more experience. How many times do we criticize leaders and think that we could do a better job? What looks simple is only made so by training and experience. If we want the title, we'd better be willing to take the time to learn what it takes. Something to think about.

Just returned from Columbia, PA and the 60th jubilee celebration of my aunt, Sister Mary Clare Reineberg, a member of the Adorers of the Blood of Christ. With my sister and twin brother, we gathered at St. Ann’s, the assisted living center perched in the Amish farmland. We walked roads bordered with corn as high as the proverbial elephant’s eye. We looked with sadness at the original motherhouse that once held a bustling community and girl’s school. No longer able to support the convent with diminished resources, the sisters sold it to a non-profit for housing boys in need. (Couldn't help but wonder how many urinals had to be installed!).  Through the years we’d come to visit, we’d enjoy the ukulele picking of Sister Helene, the ready smile of Sister Clete Marie, the spunk of Sister Toni, and the giggle of Sister Jean Marie. Far too many to name and too many headstone sunk into the rich soil of a simple graveyard. Too many are now in wheelchairs and on oxygen. Yet they filled the small chapel to celebrate 60 years of faithfulness. How many people do you know who have been in one profession for 60 years? Imagine living in community for 60 years? Not an easy task with different personalities, quirks, and foibles. Yet they have endured. I suspect when one responds to a higher calling, much is possible. I celebrate you all!

I’m getting ready to present a workshop on resiliency for yet another organization going through change. I’m thrilled to be able to help this specific department. At the same time, larger organization could use the wisdom supplied by my colleague, Chip Bell. In fact, whether you are a business of 3 or 33,000—Chip is spot on. Let me know what you think. From Chip Bell: People Don't Resist Change Making change happen in organizations would be a lot easier if there weren't those pesky resistors. There are the angry types filled with long memories of pain. There are the pessimistic types who would throw a wet blanket on the most carefully planned party.  Finally, there are the silent grumps who say everything nonverbally. No matter the form of resistance, people are NOT resisting change. Rather, people resist what they predict or perceive will result in "pain" over which they have no control.   Rather than eliminating pests, wise leaders manage change in a way the pests never show up. Here are the leader secrets to effective change management. They Include Employees. People will care if they share. While few employees expect any organization to "let us run the place," they do expect to be trusted enough to be asked for their input on those areas which matter to them and where their input has value.  Effective change leaders use broad-based participation. They Outline the Benefits. Effective change management requires showing a clear link between employee effort and an outcome employees believe has emotional worth.  Worth comes in many forms...economic, affirmation and growth.  They also help employees understand that winning organizations are remain in sync with the needs of its marketplace.  They Anchor To What Matters.  Given the short-term attention span of most organizations, employees have seen change efforts come and go.  Change must have anchors to be sustained. When the incentive system reflects the change effort, when the champions of change are get the promotions, and when change is first on leaders' agendas, it signals the change matters. They Over Communicate. Few things derail worthy change like falsehoods fervently believed.  Effective change leadership requires extraordinary communication. The antidote for erroneous information is through over communicating with great candor.  As people get the information they need, resistance is quelled as they develop perceptions of the future that are less painful than imagined.They Walk The Talk. People conclude the change effort is important by the manner they witness leaders acting consistent with the needed change.  This means actions; behaviors and priorities of leaders must remain consistent and congruent with the change effort.  People don't watch mouths, they watch moves...observation counts far more than conversation. Chip R. Bell is the second best-looking author on the planet but has the best accent.  He can be reached at http://www.chipbell.com.

News broke this week that SW Airlines spiffed up its LUV brand by rolling out a refreshed look to its planes.  Seeing this video reminded me of a blog post I meant to write weeks ago but got waylaid. My 13 year-old grandson and I boarded a Southwest plane from San Diego to Oakland, heading for an adventure of whitewater rafting on the Trinity River. Standing at the entrance to the plane was Captain Michael Martel.  Sure he had the cheery grin. But there was something else that spoke HEART and caught my eye.  It was his necktie!  Although my picture taking while juggling briefcase and luggage leaves much to be desired, just study the tie.  It was designed by a child. He went on to explain something that few travelers know about the Southwest Adopt a Pilot program. I discovered that this award winning Adopt-A-Pilot program was introduced in 1997 as a supplementary way to educate students through aviation-themed activities related to Science, Geography, Math, Writing, and other core subjects.  Southwest pilots volunteer their time to go into fifth grade classrooms to mentor and educate.  As part of this program, Southwest  holds a tie design contest where over 5,000 creative designs are submitted by students. The winner’s design is then worn by all participating Pilots the following year. Ummm, And a tie comes pretty darn close to the human heart.

Watching the news today. Joan River’s death is reported everywhere. Flowers and candles hide her star on Hollywood’s famed sidewalk. Late night pundits, fellow comedians, and talk show hosts wax rhapsodic about her ability to poke sarcastic fun at herself as well as everyone else. Can we talk? Mean humor is not my style. I agree with Jennifer Lawrence that it seems to give permission for nasty, bullying behavior. But I will also admit that humor seem to have been the prescription for getting her through really tough times: a self-induced serious rift with Johnny Carson, her husband’s suicide, the cancellation of her show, an empty calendar, and a strong desire NOT to return to the image of the skinny girl from Brooklyn. The more I read, the more I learn where she used humor—often self-deprecating—to offer another way of responding to situation. That is a superb resiliency skill. I’m reminded of my friend and colleague W. Mitchell . Mitchell had two doubly whammy accidents. One burned off most of his face and his fingers. His face had to be rebuilt into some semblance of normalcy. Serious burns. The second left him a paraplegic. Mitchell told me that when he was considering running for mayor of his city, his campaign slogan was “You don’t want just another pretty face.” But we don’t have to wait for tragedy to watch and use levity. Another colleague, Karyn Buxman , is a RN and neuro-humorist. OK—so the latter is a newly coined and maybe made-up word. But the research is solid. Laughter rewires the brain, creates endorphins, and offers a perspective on what is serious vs. what is merely annoying. Why not—at least for this weekend—get in touch with your humor. If you were a fan of Joan Rivers, consider it a eulogy. Which actually reminds me that when I asked an audience what sense is lost when one is struck by lightening—a smart guy hollered out, “The sense of humor”. Not a bad response. (The answering is hearing.) Watch for funny signs, antics of people on the street, double-meaning headlines. Like this one: “Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint Commission.” Or one of my favorite from a Washington State restaurant, The Barking Frog. In its parking lot is this sign: Search for some of Joan Rivers’s classic lines: ”If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put diamonds at my feet." "I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer’s. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it."“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.” Enjoy the weekend. And laugh.

I’m up to 10 milkweed plants in the garden. Eight of them have been stripped to the bare stalks by voracious caterpillars. This morning, I rushed out to buy the last two—no more planting room in the yard and my wallet has screeched ”Enough!”. Milkweed is the only plant that Monarch caterpillars will eat on their journey of transformation into butterflies. Nine lime green chrysalis hang from various protected places: the lip of a garden wall, a bench and fountain. But one little guy (or gal) decided to opt for serenity and became a single earring for my only garden sculpture: Kwan Yin. I first was introduced to Kwan Yin when my twin brother and I exchanged birthday gifts in 2001. I had given him a water fountain for his office. He handed me a beautiful, delicate white statue of an Asian woman holding a downturned vase in her hand as she stood on what looked like the world and a dragon with an open mouth. “It’s beautiful, John!. But. who is she?” “Wait, Eileen. Watch this!”  He raced to the kitchen, turned the statue upside down and poured water in the dragon’s mouth. When he turned the statue rightside up again, single drops of water came out of the vase and flowed back into the dragon’s mouth. “John. It’s marvelous. But what is it?” He whipped out a copy of a book I had given him the previous year, Rachel Naomi Remen’s book, My Grandfather’s Blessings. He proceeded to read that early in her career as a pediatric oncologist, Dr. Remen was appointed Associate Director of Pediatric Clinics at Stanford and given her very first office. With a tiny budget, she went shopping to outfit her small space. In the course of shopping, she spied a small porcelain statue in a lamp store. It was an Asian woman pouring water from a flask. Although drawn to the statue, she decided the budget offered no margin for another purchase. However, that night, she dreamt of the statue. It seemed to beg her to come back. She returned, bought the statue with limited funds. Often she would hold it in her hand while making difficult decisions or returning the calls of worried parents. It was not until she prepared to leave Stanford that she learned the identity of the tiny statue. She was Kwan Yin, the Buddhist goddess of compassion. The name, Kwan Yin, is a shortened form that means One Who Sees and Hears the Cry from the Human World. “One who sees and hears the cry from the human world.” Today, when one lone caterpillar decided to dangle from my Kwan Yin’s ear, wiggling into its next stage, I was struck by the statue’s face. Kwan Yin’s serenity, a visage caught in mindfulness, centers in compassion for the moment allowing a resting place for my Monarch. Indeed, amid so much sorrow that encircles our world, perhaps that is the best I can offer…. a resting place for accepting and sheltering my family, friends, and clients who just need a hand to hold theirs or a place to rest. There are days in which compassion for the distance between who we can be and who we currently are might be the highest form of service. For now, that rings true.