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(1) Aging is inevitable. Being old is optional.  Which do you choose? Until Mom’s mind started to weaken, she was always interested in people, places, and yes—even politics. Curiosity beats complacency every time.  What will you explore this new year? (2) Change is inevitable. Progress is optional. Which do you choose? Looking at work, life, and events through the same lens of yesterday defeats real opportunities today.  Regardless of what you encounter in 2014, how can you reframe it so that you move forward? (3) Dying is inevitable. Living is optional. Which do you choose? Perhaps you have friends who constantly complain about health, finances, family members, or working conditions. Do you know people who seem to have stale souls, drained of enthusiasm and energy?  Could that be you?   What will bring you alive in 2014? What makes your spirit sing? These are my questions for myself as I settle down to vision my 2014. What are your thoughts?

If you want to keep a workforce engaged and inspired in times of change, if you want a RESILIENT team, then developing trust is a must! Consider these seven resolutions. Express sincere gratitude and acknowledge what employees do. A milk-toast “thank you” is not enough. You need to know specifically what people do so they realize you actually understand and appreciate their effort. Tell the truth.  Always !!!  Don’t hide behind clichés or boilerplate answers. If you don’t know an answer, admit that.  If legal says that certain information must not be made public, ask legal WHY and then explain that to the troops. Demonstrate courage. It takes courage to make a stand. It takes courage to forge ahead despite odds. Stand up for what you believe, thus demonstrating authenticity. Be consistent. Don’t play favorites or say one thing and do another. In fact, you can practice courage by asking your team to point out anytime you ARE inconsistent. Be transparent. Hidden agendas are the manure that grows a stinging nettle of mistrust.  This means YOU must be very clear about your own motives. Look out for others. Take the time to coach, mentor, or guide. Know what are the career aspirations your different team members. What can you do to help them achieve that? In a country club operation, the President/General Manager knew that one employee wanted to be in upper management. This very wise GM told the employee, “ You can’t have my job but I will give you as much experience as I can, teach you what I know, and help you find that position when you are ready.”  So—yes, he was going to eventually lose a solid employee but in the bargain, he got 200% effort from the employee and the admiration of fellow employees. Pick up trash. Be willing to job in and do what is necessary. Southwest Airlines had a practice that senior managers had to work at least one day a month in a field that was totally not their department.  The office postal clerk was sick and the senior vice president of marketing said, “I’ll deliver the office mail.”  In another instance, a vice president sat on the floor with the team and stuffed envelopes for a marketing push. Trust that YOU will make a difference in your team and in YOU.

When it comes to fishing, my husband takes the lead. But his lack of leadership ability in a recent canoe trip on the Boundary Waters in Northern Minnesota offered wonderful lessons on how leaders can unknowingly screw up. (1) Assign responsibility without authority. Bill insisted that in order to cast his fishing line, he needed to be in the back of the canoe. I was to paddle as he cast and trolled his lure. The only challenge is that the ability to steer a two-person canoe is handled by the person in the back. He’d shout directions to me but I had little authority over the craft. Frustrated, I wanted to turn around and whack him with the paddle. LESSON: If you assign someone a task, put them where they have full control to do what is required rather than hamstring them with your positional authority. (2) Hire a skill set but don’t let the employee use it. The Boundary Waters are comprised of many lakes connected with islands and it is frequently necessary to portage the canoe to the next lake. I have a good eye for reading navigational maps. I would identify the portage spot as we approached. On more than one occasion, Bill would insist I was wrong and we’d spend time “looking”, only to return to the site I had identified. I felt like throwing the backpacks up the trail. LESSON: If you hire someone with a skill you don’t have let them take the lead. (3) Never believe someone closest to the problem. We were fishing along a rock ledge jutting out from one of the islands. Bill was a distance from me when I suddenly yelled for help. “I have a fish and I can’t tighten the reel.” “No,” replied Bill, “You don’t have a fish.” “Yes, I do. Please help me.” He slowly made his way over and took the rod from my hand. A deft fisherman, he fixed the problem and to his amazement, pulled out a fish. I wanted to hit him with it. LESSON: Pay attention to people down line. A removed view might very well be wrong. (4) Practice unclear communication. From my weak directional paddling position Bill would also holler out a specific direction. “Head toward that tree”, he’d call. Now remember he is sitting behind me. The island is covered with trees. Just what is that tree? “The GREEN one,” he’d say. ” Sorry, Bill. They are ALL green!” Since the eyes in the back of my head were shut I couldn’t see where his finger pointed. I wanted to bite that finger. LESSON: Clairvoyance is not a skill set you can hire. Describe specifically what you want, and what you see. Bring people along into your vision. (5) Make others bail you out of the trouble you cause. As we circled the various islands, Bill would cast toward the shore. He has a good eye for distance but on occasion his line would snag the low lying bushes and I’d have to climb out and untangle the mess. One foot almost landed on the back of a monstrous rock that moved: a moss covered snapping turtle with a shell the size of a toilet seat and jaws that could break my ankle. I screamed. LESSON: You can be bailed out once. But for repeated errors, get out and do it yourself. P.S. Concerned about workplace violence? Look at my response to a person I deeply love. Consider these lessons VERY carefully.

Even Joe the Pipefitter must look askance at some of the moves made in corporate America when faced with a string of bad news. (Sorry... I just can’t use “Joe the Plumber”, a guy who didn’t pay his taxes, isn’t certified as a plumber, and has tried to cash in on his 15 seconds of fame which – amazingly McGraw Hill has turned into a book while making great authors wait for a contract.) Mistake #1: Become reactive and reactionary. There is truth in the old saying “Respond in haste. Regret in sorrow.” This is also known as the “ready, fire, aim” approach of leadership. When leaders fail to gather the information and critically assess the long-term impact of decisions, severe errors are made. Consider the Big Three auto executives who knee-jerked their way on private planes to ask for a handout without ever having a plan. Now that’s a bonehead mistake. First, stop any action and breathe. Think long-term strategy. Be cautious. Be proactive. Test out the decisions by saying, “If this… then this..." so you can try it on for size. Mistake #2: Huddle with only the corporate folks. First, answers are often found at the floor level, not at the ceiling. Involve everyone in the search for efficiencies and innovations. Engage everyone in a common vision and mission. Besides, if managers tell employees what to do, you’ve taken away all sense of responsibility and ownership. How refreshing to have the Obama team now posting discussions on the internet and seeking input from a variety of people with differing viewpoints. Building transparency goes a long way for building trust and making us all feel we are part of the solution. Mistake #3: Cut. Cut. Cut. No one EVER downsized their way to greatness. Wholesale termination of employees without thinking about the cost of underserved customers and too much work done by too few people or canceling the meeting without realizing that this is the time TO GATHER and candidly talk are just two examples of cuts that could have been done with a scalpel instead of a hacksaw. Substitute Jell-O for Jamoca Fudge and Two Buck Chuck for Dom Perignon but bring people together. As for layoffs, if your organization or department can handle this-bring everyone together and spread out the facts. One very smart leader found that employees were willing to reduce work schedules, work half-time, and job share rather than have members of their team terminated. For more ideas, read Responsible Restructuring: Creative and Profitable Alternatives to Layoffs by Wayne Cascio, professor of management at the University of Colorado-Denver Business School. Mistake #4: Go after new clients and customers. Unless your current customers have vanished because of poor quality or service, these can be your best source of new revenue. Ask how you can turn them into champions of what you provide. Make them feel special and valuable. I’ve noticed that my bank is now making every effort to thank me for my business, to call me by name, to answer any request with a “no problem” attitude. Sure, they should have been doing that all along but-better late than never. Besides, they’ve already got all my money in the safe. I think they’d like to keep it. Mistake #5: Do more with less. We’ve been hearing this for years. In my consulting practice, I have often found that much of the “more” is work that provides no value at the end of the day. Scrutinize every process; get rid of the sacred cows and the egos. Translate every action into a dollar value. In one organization, we found that senior executives were tripping over each other to put their two cents into every PowerPoint presentation that was made. It was a waste of executive talent, made each project longer than necessary, disempowered the employee creating the presentation, and actually used up some $15,000 worth of senior management time! BONUS Mistake: Buy into pessimism. It’s a huge mistake we ALL make when we let the news of the day finds us hiding under the covers, chopping up the furniture for kindling and searching for recipes made with bread and water. What we have here is an opportunity to really consider what is most important, to spend time at work that is meaningful, and to nurture relationships that matter. We have an opportunity to reclaim our reputation, our integrity, and our future. Not to do this would be our biggest mistake. To condense the wisdom of a Hopi Elder, “This is the Eleventh Hour…and we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live. Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain’t Cheap…It’s Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work.  Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.

You have heard of the passing of Nelson Mandela, the first president of South Africa elected by all of her people in 1994.  When I visited South Africa a year after his inauguration one memorable moment was a conversation off the coast of Cape Town with an “English” sail boat captain who had been a conscientious objector to the universal draft of white South Africans when he was in college. He told me about how every person of his generation knows exactly where they were when two events occurred: Mandela’s release after 27 years (!) imprisoned on the Robbins Island, and the day when the Springboks Rugby team (integrated for the first time in history) beat New Zealand in the Rugby World Cup. Historically Rugby had been a exclusive “white” sport (played by Afrikaans and English young men) and Soccer was a “black” sport. But as depicted in the movie “Invictus” (starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon) , Mandela’s decision to support rather than disband this team, and the moment when he walked on to the field wearing a Springbok jersey, was a powerful symbol of reconciliation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VmiKTsQg0w And the South African National Anthem – banned during the years of Apartheid now sung in both Xhosa and Afrikaans and English.  One of the most moving anthems of our time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lju5OdTQKeo Listen and believe that good people can make a difference. – John McDargh, Ph.D. Associate Professor Department of Theology Boston College

The runners passed me: old, young, pot-bellied, knock-kneed, pushing baby strollers, wearing turkey hats, and boasting feather bonnets. One very determined man ran in a full Pilgrim costume, complete with black top hat, white stockings, and buckles on his running shoes. Some 12,000 strong turned out at 6:30am Thanksgiving morning for the 36th annual Dana Point Turkey Trot. It was my 22nd time to run yet I am normally always thrilled by the variety of folks who come out to support local charities. This year, however, was hard. I kept a steady pace, murmuring the “Hail Mary” with every step. Perhaps I thought that praying would keep me moving. And they continued to pass me. Lean, mean, tight buns, and skimpy shorts. AAARGH! How could they pass and laugh that they weren’t even warmed up yet!? I swear they moved the turn at the 1.5 mile marker. Further away surely. For the first time in 22 years, I was tempted to stop. To drop out. To shrug my shoulders and trudge back home. That’s when it hit me: resiliency is NOT about winning the race. It’s about staying in it. It’s not about beating the competition. It’s about listening to the beating of my heart. I just need to practice what I preach: consider another way of looking at this. Find what is positive. Listen to my stamina level, and laugh! Yes—laugh. When the dad and his little daughter passed me at the 5 mile marker, I asked how old she was. “Eight” replied the tiny blonde. “I’m 88,” I hollered after her. Everyone around me laughed. I stopped looking for the balloon arch that signaled the end of the race and instead, focused on the immediate road in front of me. Another lesson: it’s not about yearning for the future. Resiliency is about showing up NOW. Holy Schmolly. I suddenly spied the balloon arch. By not grasping for it- what I wanted appeared before me. With a sigh of relief, I crossed under- noting my time just a hair under one-hour. I didn’t care. I stayed in. Like St. Paul wrote “I have run the good race. I have fought the good fight.” P.S. Another lesson. Perhaps we are tougher on ourselves than we need to be. I just checked the race results and in my age category—I come in 2nd!!! Amazing.

Caregivers The Family Caregiver Alliance says there are 65.7 million caregivers- 29% of the U.S. adult population who are involved in caring for others. In fact, nearly 15 million care for someone with Alzheimer's or dementia.  Imagine, the person they care for has-in all probability-lost the ability to recognize their caregiver much less say thank you. IDEA: Over this Holiday weekend, drop off a box of cookies at a local care facility with an anonymous note that says "We know what you do and we thank you for it." IDEA: If you know someone who is caring for an aging parent, a spouse, a child-call  and see if you can take their place for an hour or more. Give them a respite. IDEA: Contact your local Alzheimer's Association and just say "thank you" on behalf of so many and offer a donation of time, talent, or treasure. Volunteers in non-profits There is such need in this world: In one day, I got requests from First Steps  (dedicated to curing club feet in children),  Mercy Corps (an international disaster relief organizations, Save the Children (I do sponsor two children(, and the Southern Poverty Law Center (a nonprofit civil rights organization dedicated to fighting hate and bigotry, and to seeking justice for the most vulnerable.) Each one is staffed by volunteers who make a difference in the lives of those they serve. While I can't give money to all, I know these people make a significant contribution. IDEA: Write a letter to at least one non-profit that you might not support financially, but whose volunteers deserve a random word of thanks. IDEA:  If you donate in the Salvation Army's  Red Christmas bucket, don't just throw in money. Stop and talk to the volunteer, thanking them for their work. Our "home helpers" My next door neighbor waters my plants and takes in the mail when I am out of town.  Sure, I do the same for her but I realize, I really never adequately expressed what it means to have her as my neighbor. I bet I am not the only on who takes our neighbors for granted. Angelica cleans my  house once a month. Yes, she gets a bonus in the holidays but I also realize that I need to tell her what it means to me that she cares for my home as if it were hers.  She is so incredibly thorough, finds things to clean that I never saw, and always calls if there's a conflict.  Money is not enough. Next week, I will TELL her as well as put it in writing. Patty lives next door to an elderly woman whom I am trying to care for. When Shirley doesn't answer her phone, Patty is kind enough to check in on her and save me a 4 miles jaunt. I realize I need to tell Patty what that extra effort on her part means to me. You see, while a simple thank-you goes a long when, it means even more if I tell someone what they did that is special, what it means to me, and THEN express gratitude. (Same thing works with giving praise to colleagues, employees AND kids!) Meister  Eckhart  in the 13th century wrote, "If he only prayer you ever say in your entire life is  thank you, it will be enough." Thank you for reading.

Wind and rain came through last night, pummeling the garden that I had just cleaned of debris and planted new growth for the winter. Today in Southern California, along the coastline, smog is cleared out and it's been an incredible crystal-clear day. Now as sunset approaches, I sit in the back yard, wrapped in a sweatshirt, fire pit and electric heater on. What a glorious sight! Beyond indigo sky, Catalina Island is a black dragon on the horizon. San Clemente Island, which normally stays hidden, is a mini dragon. And to the north, the Palos Verdes Peninsula rises from the sea. Even the oil rigs are clearly dotting the horizon. If I could stand on my roof, I could look east and see mountain ranges rising behind me. The sun is turned them brown orange. And a few actually have white dusting of snow. I believe tonight we will get a green flash when the sun sinks. I feel so grateful to be able to observe this wonder of nature.  Simple observations bring joy. What will you look for today?

The dictionary defines workout as a “physical or mental effort or activity directed toward the production or accomplishment of something.” Sounds just like our workplaces where effort is expended to provide either a product or a service.  Look closer at a gym and one can learn seven lessons in leading self as well as others for performance improvement. Lesson #1:  Everyone needs a baseline. How can you track improvement if you have no idea what is your current capability or baseline? In a gym weight is but one measure of physical ability. You also consider body fat, inches, how many repetitions of a specific exercise and more.  The truth is, you might not lose a pound but become stronger and leaner by muscle development.  What are at least three different baselines that would be good benchmarks for improvement? For example: What is your current number of client contacts that you make?  What is your current level of quality reports you generate?  You get the idea! Lesson #2:  To get results, you must vary your routine. I see gym members who have been coming for months and yet there is no sign of any improvement. What I discovered is that their bodies plateaued and the muscles simply remember the exercise and is no longer challenged.  We can do the same thing in our work. There’s comfort in the familiar but there is also little room for improvement.  How might you change your “routine” and try a new way of getting a task completed?  Perhaps you’ll even discover that your routine contains activities that can be discarded or given away! Lesson #3:  Plan your hardest work for your optimum time. Everyone has a time of day in which they feel most alert and engaged. To the degree that you can put your most difficult work within YOUR best time slot, do it. I am pretty darn useless after 6pm but I can rise and shine in the early morning which is also my exercise time. Lesson #4:  A workplace workout buddy keeps you honest. Think of this as your accountability partner. In a gym, a trainer serves that role: watching, recording, and assisting with specific exercises. In the workplace, many of us serve as coaches to senior level executives. These executives need someone to “keep them honest” and focused. We can all find and use an accountability buddy. Lesson #5: Know how much time you can take off without losing your “tone”. It’s a hard fact of life but stop exercising and within three weeks, our bodies lose muscle tone. Doesn’t seem fair and yet, the same thing is true of work. Stay out of the business for months, and it will be harder to jump back in. Whether you are on sabbatical, seeking a new position, or waiting for an employment contract, stay engaged. Read. Network. Practice. Unless, of course, you have decided to retire and move to Fiji. Lesson #6:  Be clear on exactly what you can really do. Try as hard as I might, there is no way my body will do a split, a handstand, or a cartwheel.  I watch one man who can move his feet like greased lightening in a kick box routine that would have me tripping myself and everyone next to me. However, I am strong with weights, cardio step, and climbing mountains. In the workplace, what do you HONESTLY know is NOT within your forte and never will be? If cold calls make your skin crawl, then learn how to ask for referrals from people whom you already know.  If you are interpersonally intelligent but math leaves you clueless, don’t apply for an accounting position. Lesson #7: Strength, endurance and flexibility are all important. Just as these three qualities are a hallmark of a good workout program, so too are they critical for effective career development.  Strength of character and a will to learn provide a breeding ground for success. Endurance allows you to be in the great game of work for the long haul. Without flexibility, rigidity steps in and many an organization has vanished because of outmoded thinking, dated systems, and legacy procedures. What are you doing to grow in strength, endurance, and flexibility? Workout wisdom truly works out in today’s global, 24/7 world. © The Resiliency Group.  Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live. Leadership expert and professional speaker, CSP, CPAE, is an award-winning business author and a consultant to national and international organizations.  Eileen shares tools and techniques to help others meet their professional and personal goals.  Visit http://www.eileenmcdargh.com to read her frequently updated blog, register for her free quarterly newsletter, read her articles and purchase her books and other products.

The stock market gyrates with unpredictable and heartburning results. Icons of solid companies become straw figures before balance sheets. Children are abducted from their front yards and networks of terrorists spiral throughout the world. Religious institutions cast shadows of duplicity while El Nino brings strange fish to the California coasts and out-of-control fires head toward ancient Sequoias. Tough times. It’s enough to cause all of us to stand like the proverbial “deer in headlights”, mutter “the sky is falling”, or else spring into action. The latter would be fine but it’s often a knee-jerk response based on what we’ve done in the past. Trouble is that the present doesn’t look like the immediate past. Whether you’re leading a Fortune 100 company, a small department, or an enterprise of one, now is the time to hone your resiliency skills. But first, let’s update the definition of “resilient”. In 1824, Webster defined it as: “the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress. That definition works for explaining metal but not for the mettle of the human system. Consider this: The compressive stress to an organizational body can be the result of bloating mergers. Mergers now meet mania and layoffs distort the workloads and customer care. If this is the case, the resilient organization must carefully think what size and shape will serve it for the long haul. Recovering its size and shape might be the worst thing! At the risk of insulting Webster, I define resiliency as “the capacity to cultivate skills to grow wiser and stronger through the challenges and opportunities of life while maintaining personal and professional integrity.” Some key resilient strengths are found in using HOPE as an acronym: Head talk and Heart walk. Optimism. Purpose, passion and persistence. Energy and Enjoyment. Head talk asks that we critically explore our thinking process. Are we stuck in out-moded patterns of behaviors that no longer serve us? What assumptions are we making and what actions can we take if the assumptions are confirmed? What resources can we call upon? How have we nurtured our relationships and support network? Are we being truly HONEST with ourselves about our own fears? What voices do we need to listen to - even if we don’t want to? Heart walk is truth in action. It means we keep our word. Trust is the password of our time. It is also the cornerstone of relationships. Since an inability to get along is the single biggest reason for failure, heart walk builds relationships through connecting at more than cerebral levels. Optimism arises from our anticipation of a positive outcome as well as our ability to help produce that outcome. Dr. Martin Seligman’s decades-long research indicates that optimism can be learned by listening carefully to our internal dialogue and challenging negative beliefs. Learned Optimism is a book that should be on everyone’s reading list. Purpose, passion and persistence work like a three-legged stool in holding up a resilient leader. Purpose implies that you have a reason for being on this earth and it is not “all about you”. Since the odds of a human egg being fertilized are 220 trillion to one, you are NOT a mistake. If purpose is the “why” you are here, passion is the “what”. It’s that activity that gets your juices flowing. Somehow, somewhere it must be in your life. Find a way to put it there and then persist in the doing. Pablo Casals knew he was put on earth for music. His passion was the cello. Even severely crippled with arthritis, his resilient spirit persisted through the pain and he played like an angel. Energy and enjoyment spark up the human engine. In complex time, our energy sources need to be renewed and refreshed. Sleep, exercise, solitude, and meditation pump the exhausted spirit with the octane of resiliency. Play and laughter are birthrights of the human spirit. Laughter is the canary of hope. If the laughter has died, so too has your resiliency. Lighten up. Find what’s zany about life. Watch children at play. Don’t take life so seriously-you won’t get out of it alive. Philosopher Howard Zinn wrote that to have hope, one doesn’t need certainty, only possibility. In an upside down world-there are lots of possibilities for positive change and growth. Let H.O.P.E. support YOUR resilient spirit. © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live. Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain’t Cheap…It’s Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work.  Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.

The pace of change impacting managers has never been greater. From consolidations, mergers, and acquisitions to re- engineering profit centers, managers are faced with what often appears to be “crisis” situations. And with crisis comes the fact that staff often experience anxiety, the off- shoot of fear. The following vignette offers practical lessons for handling the fear and resultant anxiety which come with unexpected and unwanted change. While this true-life situation occurred in the clouds, the concepts are very much grounded in reality. Its lessons can be carried into the office, hospital, or lab. Sunny skies, light winds, and gentle surf started yet another lovely Spring day in Southern California. Full of optimism, I boarded a flight bound for New Orleans by way of Denver and a major speaking engagement. I never made it. Snow intervened in Denver, delaying our 747 while nozzles spewed chemicals onto the wings. The co-pilot explained the procedure and how she’d walk back into the cabin to visually inspect the coating. Once airborne, she told us we’d hear the landing gear go down a second time as they checked the mechanics. Finally off to New Orleans on Flight #1180. Not. A freak series of severe thunderstorms blew in from Texas, causing considerable jolting and bucking. The captain, a voice calm and deliberate, explained each deviation as he attempted to discover a better routing. We couldn’t even get close. “I’m an old captain, not a bold captain”, he explained when he announced we’d be diverting to Birmingham, Alabama. The passengers applauded his honesty with our safety while we all silently and not-so-silently moaned our fate. Cockpit voices told us we’d be informed as soon as the captain landed, walked through the jet, and called base operations. Birmingham was not this carrier’s hub. One hundred-fifty people, many with small children, listened patiently when he returned and explained the exiting procedure from the aircraft, where we’d lodge, and when we’d meet and “have another go at it” in the morning. Not one whimper or angry outburst arose. And true to his word, we all assembled after little sleep, no food, and for many, no change of clothes. We had now bonded in the experience and called out to one another, laughing and sometimes gasping as the still rocky air finally parted enough to bring us into New Orleans. I lost income on that flight but I gained a strong metaphor for leadership principles in times of crisis and change. What the captain and crew engendered that is missing in so many of our downsized, fear-racked businesses was TRUST. Let’s use this word as an acronym for understanding exactly what happened on this trip and what all leaders must do in today’s whitewater world. T: Tell the truth and reveal feelings. Information abounded on Flight #1180. People deserve and need plenty of information about what’s happening, why it’s happening, and what are the next steps— even if those next steps are to stop, take stock, and develop the next plan of attack. And the information has to be immediate. Waiting while the rumor mill churns out various versions of “the truth” creates anxiety, second-guessing, and sometimes panic. None of these are conducive for productivity. Notice that the captain also admitted that he was “old not bold”. Leaders are not invincible. Employees can identify with this statement and also become reassured that the leader is not going to do anything foolhardy to jeopardize the organization and its people. R: Respond consistently. Once the captain and crew established a reporting method, they continued with the updates. Voices never changed. A pattern of zigzagging to avoid storms was followed. Is it not true that business often needs to consistently be inconsistent in seeking improvements, finding new markets, responding to the marketplace? U: Understand your role. Be competent. Be visible. With voice as well as physical presence, the captain and crew were “out and about”. In times of change and crisis, seeing and hearing the leader is important. By walking through the cabin and putting a hand on different people’s shoulders, he reassured passengers. The captain also invited people to stay with him and talk about the flight if anyone was concerned. In times of change and crisis, it is vital that leaders be seen and available for questions and feedback. Too often, the leader meets only with senior people or disappears behind closed doors. S: See people as trustworthy. The captain stated what he would do and that he expected us to follow his instructions. He basically said, “I trust you to do what is right for yourselves and each other.” If a leader wants to be trusted, that presumption must also be present. T: Take action. Tickle funny bones. On Flight #1180, passengers were kept appraised of each action step and the results of that step, both positive and negative. Whether in the board room, the marketing department, or the cockpit, an action followed by course correction is a wise mode for handling any change or crisis. Lastly, the captain and the crew managed to find humor in the situation. Laughter, as Victor Borge used to say, is the shortest distance between people. Laughing over what cannot be controlled creates that element of bonding which is fundamental in maintaining trust. A self-litmus trust test would benefit us all. What would people say about our behaviors during change or crisis? Would there be mutiny and fleeing the ship? Or would people stick with us to the next destination in the organization’s journey? Let’s trust they would. © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live. Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain’t Cheap…It’s Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work.  Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.

Micromanagement and lack of trust are cries often heard in today’s business arenas. In this age of accountability, downsizing, larger spans of control, complex global competition, and job uncertainty, all managers are faced with getting results through people. Managers preach empowerment and yet, if the results are not right, who gets the blame? And so, I think, the issue of trust resembles a crystal with four facets. The first facet has to do with that term “empowerment”. Too often management throws out the term without clarifying what are the limits or parameters in which employees may make critical decisions. When boundaries are not clear employees naturally think the manager is sending mixed messages. When employees feel micromanaged, they’re basically saying, “Stop looking over my shoulder I can do this. Stop checking upon me. Why must I report in every step of the way?” Good question. Why? Clarify for yourself first, and then with the employee, what is the performance outcome you need. The more quantifiable, the better. Note the word “outcome”. This is not the same as “do it MY way”. As long as you get the outcomes and results keep the team and ethics intact, who cares HOW they got the job done. Ask yourself what are your “twitching” points. That’s my term for those areas in which you have special sensitivity, where you get a knot in you stomach or the hairs stand on the back of your neck. The sensitivity might be caused by demands which your manager has placed on you. Share these demands and then find out how your colleagues can help you meet them. You might have other “twitching points”. For example, I value relationships. Form letters, bored telephone voices, disregard for returning phone calls, and impoliteness drive me crazy. These are all things which I think show a lack of concern for the relationship. If I micromanage in these areas, it could be that I have not either trained my support staff well, have hired wrong, or have failed to explicitly state my sensitivity. Another facet of trust has to do with authenticity. “At the core of becoming a leader is the need to connect one’s voice with one’s touch,” wrote Max Dupree, former chair of Herman Miller. Is what you say and what you do in line? I am constantly amazed at the systems, practices, and behaviors found in corporate America which send mixed messages. ...like the manager who claimed he had an “open door policy” but greeted anyone who entered with the statement “and this better not be a dumb question.” ...like the company which touted itself as “innovative” and yet used a one-size-fits-all budget scheme for its diverse operations. ...like the vice president who sent around articles on TQM but refused to allow employees to go for training. ...like the executive who wanted her managers to learn leadership, communication, problem-solving, team-building, and visioning in a two-day training because “learning is important.” ...like the vice president who sent around articles on TQM but refused to allow his employees off the job to attend TQM training. And the list goes on. Never, I’m convinced, intentional. And always detrimental. The third facet of trust has to do with fear. Of what are you afraid? What is your worst fear and what’s the chance of it really happening? Are there checkpoints or fail safe measures which you and your employees could put into place to short-circuit a negative outcome? And once done, relax and enjoy. As Mark Twain said, “I’ve had 103 catastrophes in my life, only two of which actually occurred.” The fourth facet of trust rests in self-reliance. We all have heard the dictum that a strength overused becomes a weakness. Perhaps our life’s experience has taught us that we depend solely by our own wits and wiles. Too many people have let us down. Or perhaps we take great pride in Frank Sinatra’s mantra “I did it my way”. Our world is too complicated and interdependent to live solely by our singular guts and brain power. We need the insights and ideas of others. Too much now lies out of our control and coronaries await for those who attempt to do it all. In the final analysis, trust is also a four-letter word; love. When people know we care about them, they respond in kind. Easy to say. Harder to do. Practice in action is the only key and trust blooms as a result. © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live. Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities.  Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.