Please enjoy this video as we enter the Holiday Season—Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza.  It's not in English, but you don’t need to hear it to be warmed by the sentiment: My deepest wish for our world is to love all. Bonnie and I are taking December off to rest, regroup, and recharge.  See you in 2025! Blessings and peace to all!

I am writing this post in October as I will be gone for half of November. Today, we’re hearing about far too many divisions and hate camps springing up across this nation—in fact, across the world. We humans seem to want to only live with people who look like us, worship our way, and follow a prescribed order in life. How foolish.  The natural world presents a totally different way of living.   Please watch these and consider who is “different” in your world. Can you have a conversation with them? Share a cup of coffee?  At least smile and say, ‘Good Morning.”  It’s time to mimic our animal teachers. Watch how kindness allows two very different species to live together How about interspecies friendships?How about interspecies friendships? And let’s not duck our responsibility to care for other species Lastly, difference requires courage and compassion. Watch Nubby! I hope you enjoy these short segments. If you have any questions, let me know. We need more care and light in this world!

I’ll explain the headline in a minute—but first: context!  I’m writing this post on the way to my granddaughter’s wedding.  It’s a first for me (and for her) and hopefully—her last. Part of me is holding my breath in the face of what will be the MOST consequential election in U.S. history—an election that will determine whether democracy and the rule of law survive. The other part of me is joyous about our family gatherings and celebrations.  In short, despite trepidation, I am grateful.  Yes— I am grateful. Being Grateful is a Healthy Exercise In such crazy, juxtaposed times, gratitude plays a huge part in our mental stability and health. The latest study ,  released this summer using data from some 50,000 women between the ages of 69 and 96, discovered that the more grateful one is, the longer one lives, enjoys better health and has better relationships. Amid anxiety and genuine concerns, take a moment to pause: Stop. Chill. Fill. Fill your mind and heart with gratitude. Focus on what you have right here, right now. Here’s what I’m thankful for: morning coffee, thoughtfully delivered by my incredible husband, a refreshing run by the ocean, the dogs I can pet, a hot shower, a clean house, my fabulous virtual assistant, Bonnie Davis and my brilliant webmaster Thomas Joel (TJ), playing Wordle with my sister, even virtually, the gift of running water and beautiful flowers blooming in the garden. What is on your list?

This year I had circled September 28 on my calendar. Finally, a bucket list wish would come true:  Hang gliding!!! Mom was a pilot in WWII and flying has always fascinated me. Don’t know that the machinery of an aircraft is for me but floating through the sky is something I have dream of doing. I was slated to go with friend and fellow speaker, Owen Morse.  Owen is the other half of The Passing Zone ,  an amazing duo of jugglers, speakers and entertainers.  Watch their video! On a shared ride from a conference, I discovered that Owen is also a record-setting hang glider. In fact, his huge purple glider hangs in the Orange County Airport, along with a plaque proclaiming his ten-hour flight down the Owens Valley (no relation!) YAHOOOO!  We picked the date. I was to meet him in San Bernardino, in the national forest mountains. Alas—the fires that broke out a month ago have made San Bernardino National Forest off limits until at least December.  Sigh.  Owen assured me that we would pick another date.  Here is my lesson: it is now up to me to be the squeaky wheel. Taking me hang gliding is not in his top-of-the-charts goals. So, it’s now up to me to persist.   I’ll keep you posted.  Up, up and away!

Imagine watching a different graduation ceremony that has none of your kids in it and you still laughed and cried.  Imagine that the seniors (called 2nd years) come from all over the globe: Israel, Ukraine, Scotland, Palestine, the United States, and many South American countries. Imagine that these junior and senior high school students have lived for two years in a community discovering how to build a world that transcends nationality, language, religion, or gender identity (and many students need to be there on scholarship).  I’ve just described United World College Costa Rica , founded some 11 years ago as part of a world-wide educational movement.  At UWC-CR, junior and senior high school students earn the International Baccalaureate Degree. The International Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma Program (DP) is a two-year comprehensive and rigorous pre-university curriculum leading to an IB diploma. Successful IB candidates are typically granted advanced placement credit at the finest universities and colleges in the nation. I learned that the seniors begin their final year with a retreat. They gather to collectively talk about their hopes, dreams, and how do they want to be remembered.   The class of 2024 proclaimed themselves “The Determined Generation”.  Together with faculty, staff, and the “first years”, they developed a mission: To cultivate in young people the passion and ability to serve humanity and our planet—learning from nature and from each other for a lifetime. It gives me goose bumps.  I urge you to watch some of this celebration: My amazing sister, Susan Mullins, has been board chair for years. “These students give me hope,”  Susan exclaims adding “I’ve never worked so hard for no money and I love it.”

Career Conversations Organizations Need and Employees Still Want Career development has never been more challenging – or important. Given current levels of disengagement, burnout, skill gaps, stress, and unwanted turnover, effective leaders must master the art and science of helping those around them grow. That’s why I’m delighted that my friend, Julie Winkle Giulioni, along with her co-author Bev Kaye, are releasing the latest edition of their bestseller, Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go: Career Conversations Organizations Need and Employees Still Want , on September 24. With over 140,000 copies sold, this third edition includes: A new chapter on Developing at a Distance: Addressing the unique challenges and solutions for supporting remote and hybrid employees. Insight into talent hoarding: Understanding why talent must be viewed as an enterprise resource. Exploration of psychological safety: Highlighting its crucial role in development relationships. Reinforcement of human interaction: Emphasizing the need for human connection in an AI-driven world. Over 100 questions: Sparking meaningful career conversations. A detailed chapter-by-chapter discussion guide: Facilitating deeper understanding and implementation. The Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go book-bot: Getting more from the book with a custom GPT designed to help plan and rehearse career conversations, assess current skills and practices, brainstorm targeted development activities, and more. Help Them Grow with Practical Tools & Actionable Strategies This book is filled with practical tools and actionable strategies that make career development an ongoing, natural relationship that allows individuals and organizations to thrive. And when you pre-order  Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go , you will get access to a library of 8 micro-learning videos on development, engagement, leadership, and more provided by AthenaOnline. Visit https://www.help-them-grow.com/athena-online/  to pre-order and access your complimentary videos.

I can’t be the only one who has done this:  you get a recorded response when you call a toll-free number for assistance. None of the prompts are what you need. Your anger rises.  It seems that too many companies refuse to have a human easily available to answer questions. However, yesterday, my anger reached a higher level and I started to scream at my phone. I lost my Citibank Costco Credit Card.  A lost credit card is a very big deal considering no one asks for any ID when you use a credit card. I call the toll-free number. The recorded voice gives me options,  one of which is “lost or stolen card”.  I say, “Lost Card”. The recorded voice asks the same question: “Lost or stolen card?” I reply, saying the word LOST with emphasis on the letter “t’. The recorded voice asks again. I am now beginning to raise my voice, “LOST card.”  With the fourth repeated question, I am now shouting, “LOST CARD!!!!” Now the recoded voice asks for the last 4 digits of the card which, thankfully, are printed on last month’s bill. “1448”, I state. “I’m sorry, we do not have that card on record. Give me the complete credit card number.” “The card is LOST!  I don’t have all the numbers!!!” By now I am shouting: “Agent, Customer service, Human Being, Help”. The recorded voice continues: “ I’m sorry we can’t help you.” Click. The recorded voice hangs up.  Bottom line: I had to drive to my nearest Costco to talk to a real person. Ironically, she handed me a phone to talk to a human. Ironically, the physical connection to the handset was not working.  We hung up and she moved me to another register. From start to finish, I lost almost 2 hours trying to get this handled.  If I billed Citibank  and  Costco hourly, I’d hand them a bill for $500. My point: it did not have to be this way! Did anyone actually listen to what a recorded voice said before the service was launched? Sure, it costs more to have a human on the line but are organizations so arrogant that it doesn’t matter how many angry customers are created?     Why not hire am external customer, like me⎯to listen to recorded voices and figure out the viability of questions and prompts? Of course, that would mean organizations would have to care for the little fish, like me. But beware, little fish swim in schools and can influence hundreds.

I just got a call from my dear friend Emory Austin.  We’ve known each other for years through the professional speaking community. “Eileen,”  Emory, said. “I’ve been thinking of you because I need to be working on my resilience”. She now lives in an apartment as part of an independent living facility. An unexpected battle with cellulitis and A-fib (arterial fibrillation) landed her in the hospital.  What is Cellulitis? For those who don’t know, cellulitis is usually a superficial infection of the skin. But if severe or left untreated, it can spread into the lymph nodes and bloodstream. Cellulitis usually affects the lower legs, but it can occur on the face, arms and other areas. The infection happens when a break in the skin allows bacteria to enter. Left untreated, the infection can spread to the lymph nodes and bloodstream and rapidly become life-threatening.  The challenge for Emory is that treatment for the cellulitis can compromise the A-Fib. Likewise, she was desperate to go to her granddaughter Sarah’s wedding but her physical condition held her captive.  Upset, disappointed, and angry at her physical challenges, Emory said “I kept thinking about how cruel life was.”   The next day, Emory called me and said “I need your help. You are the resilience expert.”  So, we talked. Here’s what I told her. Practice These Steps of Resilience from the Hospital Bed Practice #1: Seek adaptability. Think about situations in your life that at⎯face value⎯were not great. What happened as a result of that situation? Reality:  Both Emory and I discussed such events… everything from divorce to breast cancer.  In each case, we ended up discovering strengths we didn’t know we had and meeting amazing people we would never have met. Practice #2:  Envision the best possible outcome. See it. Say it.  Reality: Emory talked about what would result from her being healed. Where might she travel?  Whom might she see? What would it feel like?  Her spirits improved just from this conversation. Practice #3: Express gratitude. Emory called me the following day. It seems that since she was unable to go to the wedding, she had a surprise visit from all three of her own children and their families plus, her sister and her family.  For three hours, they talked, laughed, reminisced, and loved.   “That would never have happened at the actual wedding,”  exclaimed Emory. “I am so thankful. My gratitude for this unexpected event knocked the wind out of me.” Emory added, ‘When will I ever learn that a negative event is not final.” I admit to being thrilled with how immediately things turned around for Emory. Granted, that’s not always the case. But I believe that this simple resilience practice can turn dark into grey and eventually into white light, even when practicing resiliency from a hospital bed. What is your experience?

I was reminded of this old saying when I read what Dr. Mollie Marti, founder of Wordmaker Resilience Institute, wrote about her grief over losing a dear friend. As Mollie and I both believe, resilience is not a “been there-done-that” but one that ebbs and flows like the tides. Loss triggers a cry for resilience. Death is the one CERTAINTY we all will face. With Mollie’s permission, I share with you her insights into coping with sudden tragedy and sharing sorrow. 1. Grief is love. It’s part of our human experience to learn how to open pathways for love to continue flowing after loss. Mollie’s dear friend was the daughter of an Army veteran and a champion for kids. Mollie is now channeling some of her love of this dear friend into creating a new resilience toolkit to help military kids. 2. Small acts of care make a big difference. Messages of condolence and honoring sentiments offer strength and comfort. 3. Nothing is promised in life. “You already know the terms of existence here on the planet. The terms are absolutely anything can happen to absolutely anybody at any moment. And there is nothing you can do to control it.” Liz Gilbert. Mollie writes that each day must be lived to the fullest and never miss a day without expressing love and friendship. My question: what relationships in your life need tending today? 4. Grief is an invitation for empathy. Because grief is universal, allow grief not to be hyper-focused on oneself. Rather see it as an invitation to grow empathy for others. There are so many broken hearted among us. 5. You never know who needs kindness. Small random acts of kindness allow one’s spirit to be nourished and provide salve for its healing. In a world that often seems so filled with anger and hatred, kindness is needed more than ever. Ironically, I spoke today to a long-time friend who told me that her mother is now in hospice. I told her what I learned helping my mom prepare for the final passage. Mollie’s words came back to me in full force. Sometimes, the quiet of shared thoughts and listening might be the greatest kindness.

Mom called us in California that morning. She lived in Florida and had a 3-hour jump on us when it came to news. “We’re under attack,” she blurted out in a scared trembling voice. “Turn on the television!” And so, it started.   Now, 23 years later, I vividly remember that day and the aftermath: My speech for an aviation conference was cancelled. We stayed close to the television.  Airlines stopped flying, and airspace around DC and New York was sealed.  An old military base in Gander Newfoundland, Canada served host to 38 jets from around the world. The passengers in those grounded aircraft and the compassion of the residents in this Canadian province would later become a Broadway hit,  “Come From Away”.   In my neighborhood, kids set up lemonade stands with money being sent to first responders.  Within one-week, national newspapers carried stories of courage and self-sacrifice, of compassion and kindness. I vividly remember one account of a high-paid executive who announced her resignation.  She said that making money versus making a difference was what mattered now. Then multiple stories of similar career shifts appeared. My Resiliency Lessons from 9/11 My exploration into the world of resilience started with 9/11.   Here are my resiliency lessons from 9/11:  Do what you can, when you can, with whatever you have.  Moaning and crying over an event won’t help.  Take a deep breath. Remember action is the antidote for anxiety. Put something in motion.  Start small. But act. Act with compassion.   Compassion means with love and zeal for something or someone.  What we witnessed on 9/11 was love being poured out to others, often to complete strangers. Families and strangers came together.  Today, we desperately need that compassion in growing through challenging times. Design small rituals that ground you for the day.  Life is so uncertain. For me, a morning ritual of meditation followed by a run outside along my ocean centers me in body, mind, and spirit. Express gratitude .  I could write pages about the value of being grateful. Begin and end each day with either verbalized or written words of gratefulness.  The horrific events of 9/11 caused all of us to stop, to reach out to loved ones, to mourn the sacrifice of so many.   Those sacrifices continue today in our communities. Gratitude is not found in meanness, greed, selfishness and bigotry. Know what brings you to joy in this journey of life. For many of us, it is the feeling of contribution and service. It is my hope that these blogs and my e-zine do—in some small way—contribute to your life.

Laughter Lifts the Load In tough times, humor is an essential survival skill. Talk can also be funny. Not the sarcastic biting humor of put-downs and inside jokes, but rather the humor that can lighten a difficult situation or put something in perspective. A travel agency was known for helping its agents get through difficult customers by awarding the Order of the SALMON. At the end of the week, agents would know which agent had the most challenging week with customers yet still managed to keep a positive interaction going. With much fanfare, the agent explained the challenge and was urged to exaggerate and use as much humor as possible. She was then awarded a plastic salmon for her ability to SWIM UP STREAM. Being able to talk about the week, laugh at the difficulties, and be rewarded for staying calm helped generate both fun and connection within the office. Laughter can put people at ease if it is used to acknowledge what everyone is thinking. I was asked to speak at a convention in which the main session room temperature hovered around 50 degrees. People were wrapped in tablecloths. By the end of the second day, it still had not warmed up. When it was my turn to talk, I welcomed them by saying, “Welcome to the land of the frozen chosen.” Gales of laughter and applause burst out. It made a point. The attendees were CHOSEN to be there. It was a privilege. Humor also lets us divide the serious from the mundane. Yes—the room was way too cold. But in the scheme of things, it was not as important as gathering to work out a new marketing strategy. Humor can also point out the trite and the silly things we all do in work, relieve tension, and probably improve a process. When one group acted out a very funny skit around the various voice mail doom loops a customer had to go through in order to get to a human being, everyone laughed…and the system changed in short order. Break the Silence The greater challenge will be pulling people away from their smart phones and text messaging to actually have a conversation. A number of organizations are experimenting with “topless” meetings—as in laptop-less meetings. Years ago, San Francisco design firm, Adaptive Path, put a crackdown on “crackberries”, as former President Todd Wilkens called them in his company-wide blog. He claimed that people would now look each other in the eye, develop closer connections and meetings are more productive. Productivity? Performance? If the talk quotient is increased, you bet. Talk might very well become the golden key.

Communication Strategy # 1: Conduct a Talking Stick Meeting A talking stick meeting ensures that everyone's ideas and inputs are heard. The person holding the stick is guaranteed the right to speak freely without fear of reprisals, humiliation, or interruptions. This practice was used by many Native American tribes to ensure that all voices were heard. Talking Stick, Communication Strategy Meeting Checklist: Create a focus question to present to the group, assuring them that all are invited to speak, without interruption or humiliation. Form a real circle with everyone in the circle. This brings equality When everyone who wishes to speak has spoken, summarize the conversation and what you will do with the information.   Communication Strategy #2:  Seek Out the “Orange Batons” If you get a window seat on a plane approaching the terminal, look out for the person guiding the 737 aircraft, which weighs over 90,710 pounds, into position. Those small orange batons they wield carry a lot of authority at that moment—and rightly so. A line painted on the tarmac indicates exactly where the front wheel of the 737 must stop. If not properly aligned, passengers at the gate could end up with a pilot in their laps. The pilot, sitting too high to see this line, relies on the guidance of those holding the orange batons to position the aircraft correctly. In the workplace, everyone has their own "orange batons." The higher a manager is in an organization, the more critical it is to communicate effectively with those on the ground. As customers, we've all encountered frustrated service reps who can't assist us because senior managers have implemented restrictive practices. For instance, when I needed support for a Delta Sky Miles Account, the agent informed me they couldn't directly contact the support team. "We can only use FAX and Courier service," they said. Both the agent and I were frustrated because higher-ups had made decisions without consulting the "orange batons" to understand the implications. Communication Strategy #3:  Pay Attention to Little Davids When Patrick Harker, the former Dean of the Wharton School, was asked about the key factor behind the school’s most successful fundraising campaign ($425 million in six years), he emphasized the importance of engaging the next generation of alumni leadership. Listening to the voice of the younger generation is a practice that dates back to the Middle Ages and the Benedictines. The abbot of a monastery would make decisions after consulting all the monks, starting with the youngest. Similarly, if the elders in the Old Testament had heeded the young David with his slingshot, the giant Goliath would have been defeated swiftly. David was right, but it took time for the tribe to realize that youth and inexperience do not equate to lack of skill. Who are the newest or youngest members on your team—your "Davids"? These individuals often ask the most insightful questions because they are not influenced by office politics, past practices, or established protocols. Seek their opinions. Challenge them to teach you something within their first three months. I guarantee that these employees will strive to bring you innovation or, at the very least, valuable insights into your procedures, products, or services. “Words of wisdom are spoken by children at least as often as scientists.” —James Newman, American Astronaut