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  • Exhausted? Let’s Unpack It!

    Blame it on the dog. Eddie is an adorable, fluffy American Eskimo, 17 years old, very deaf and blind in one eye. When my sister got an emergency call that they needed to go to Tucson, the regular dog sitters were unavailable. “Can you meet me halfway between Dana Point and Los Angeles and get Eddie?” I’ll never say no to my wonderful sister. We loaded his bed, a massive box with kibble, bone broth, dog treats, two kinds of pills, eye drops, and his leash.  Oh yes, and a folder with an Excel spreadsheet of instructions. Although Eddie has been at our house multiple times, he always had Susan and their husband, Tom, in attendance.  It never occurred to me that without hearing and limited sight, poor Eddie’s only remaining sense was smell. Susan and Tom were not here to sniff. Thus, “bedtime” was not on the agenda. I was up every hour for the first two nights when he barked. I don’t speak “dog,” so it was always a guessing game: food? Potty break? Or a walk? Or just outside to look at the stars? By day three, I was dragging. My brain was fuzzy. I was exhausted. How do parents with newborns do it?  I gave up my regular run and walked Eddie instead. I ignored one late evening bark and was rewarded with three piles of you-know-what on the beige Berber carpet.  Not Eddie’s fault. He tried to tell me! On day seven, the wonderful dog sitter was available so I could drive Eddie back to the home he knew so well. Happy camper on all counts. Let’s Unpack What I Learned About Exhaustion Think first. Then act.  If I had realized that my little four-legged buddy would be in a strange environment, I would have asked for Susan's clothing to put on his bed. It got me to question how often I say “yes” without looking carefully at what might be entailed.  I’ll bet I’m not the only one who jumps first and thinks later! Reframe the exhaustion as a learning experience. I met new people just by walking the dog. I found a fantastic carpet cleaner (Impressive Results) –yes, the company’s actual name) I discovered I do NOT have to run daily if I do serious walking. The world will not end if I leave emails unanswered for a day. Celebrate naps. I used to think of them as a sign of weakness. Now, I see them as refueling my body. I also started pondering good exhaustion: the completion of a long-dreamed project, the successful party for friends, the day’s end from exploring new cities, and … you can complete the list. Bottom line: Exhaustion runs the gamut. It’s the lessons we take from it that matter.

  • Become Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

    I heard three amazing women last night: Katrina Foley, the only woman on the Orange County Board of Supervisors; Sheerin Larijani, Senior Deputy District Attorney in the Office of the Orange County District Attorney; and Heidi Zuckerman, CEO and Director of the Orange County Museum of Art. There was so much takeaway as I listened to their tales of how they came to their respective positions. Consider this: Foley came from severe childhood poverty, Price was the firstborn of Iranian immigrants, and Zuckerman was the first woman to build two art museums. The constant refrain that came through was a willingness to seek good for a larger community, for the marginalized, and the uneducated. And to do that, they all had to speak truth to power.  Their sense of service left many of us thinking, “What can I do?” It starts by becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable, stepping into the unknown, and taking a risk.  It means saying ‘Why not me?” instead of  “Why me?”. No wonder I had a hard time falling asleep last night.

  • Lessons From The Rain

    Have you ever watched the rain pour down and wondered what lessons it might teach us? The recent torrential rains in Southern California have given me ample time to ponder this. My heart aches for the homes lost, cars washed away, and more than one fatality. I'm not minimizing the danger of Mother Nature because it is by ignoring the warnings that one gets in trouble. Resilience is About Learning, Adapting, and Growing As the CEO of The Resiliency Group, I've learned that resilience is not about bouncing back, as the dictionary says. "Back" implies the original position. That can cause problems. Rather, resilience is about learning, adapting, and growing. The same can be said for our environment. The rains, while disruptive and undeniably dangerous, are a stark reminder of the power of nature and the importance of adaptability. The Rain Reminds Us of the Importance of Preparation Just as the parched earth soaks up the rain, we, too, must absorb the changes and challenges that come our way. The rain may cause temporary discomfort, but it also brings life and growth. Similarly, challenges in our lives or businesses can lead to growth and innovation if we approach them with the right mindset. The rains also remind us of the importance of preparation. Just as we prepare our homes and communities for the onslaught of rain, we must also prepare our businesses for the inevitable storms. This could be a business continuity plan, a risk management strategy, or simply having a resilient mindset. The Rain Teaches Us the Power of Community Finally, the rains teach us about the power of community. In times of crisis, communities come together to support each other. As leaders, we should strive to foster community within our organizations and not wait for "the rains" to pull people together. So, instead of cursing the weather next time it rains, let's take a moment to reflect on the lessons it's teaching us. What are your thoughts on this? How do you apply the lessons of nature to your leadership style, life, or business strategy?

  • The Power of a Story

    Once upon a time… These words alone can take us back to childhood and perhaps bedtime stories, stories around campfires, or reading under the covers at night with a flashlight. But storytelling has a far greater power than just a childhood imagination. The Power of Story Using Great Storytelling Have you ever thought about the power of storytelling? It's an art form that has been around since the dawn of time, and it's still as relevant today as it was thousands of years ago.  All great teachers—from Jesus to Buddha, from Mohammad to Confucius—used stories to make wisdom come alive. We all have stories to tell, stories that come from real events, real people, and real observations. These stories have the power to inspire, to educate, and to connect us in ways that nothing else can. Storytelling Must Have a Point with Meaning But here's the thing - a story isn't just about creating characters and setting a scene. It's about having a point. Without a point, a story is just a collection of words, a narrative without a purpose. As the CEO (Chief Energy Officer) of The Resiliency Group, I've seen firsthand how powerful storytelling can be in the business world. It can help build trust, foster a sense of community, and inspire action. So, remember to make it meaningful the next time you're crafting a story, whether for a presentation, a blog post, or a conversation with a colleague. Please give it a point, a purpose, because that will make your story come alive. Let Me Help Your Story Come Alive! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. What are some of the most impactful stories you've heard or told? How have they influenced your life or your work? And if you are interested, contact me. I can help your story come alive. PS: I just found this interview I did with Doug Stevenson. I re-learned things I had forgotten. How to Become the Story with Eileen McDargh: Storytelling That Sticks for Business and Life Enjoy!

  • Time To Reclaim What Presidents’ Day Is All About

    I write this post for my fellow citizens on this Presidents' Day. Listening to the violent rhetoric, the hate speech, and the cowardice of elected officials, I imagine Washington and Lincoln rolling their eyes in horror and grave concern. Consider Washington’s words: “It is far better to be alone than to be in bad company.  If the freedom of speech is taken away, then we may be led to dumb and silent, like sheep to the slaughter ...” Think of voter restrictions, redrawn voter rolls, and draconian requirements.  We sound like sheep! Or consider Lincoln. His Gettysburg Address is hailed as one of the most important speeches in U.S. history. Lincoln delivered his brief 272-word address at the dedication of the Gettysburg battlefield, the site of more than 50,000 casualties. I am particularly drawn to its final words: “With charity for all and hatred for none…” How far have we come from that? My challenge to myself and my colleagues is to reclaim our ability to be the nation we can be. No dictators. No kings. No tyranny.  Yes, to the rule of law. Yes, to justice for all. Yes, to call forth our better angels. Washington and Lincoln are watching.

  • The Surprise of a "Thank You"

    At the close of 2023, I received a hand-written thank you. Out of the blue. Unexpected. And it lightened my entire day, week, and maybe months. I’ve known Mark LeBlanc for years. We are dear friends, and I am thankful for that role, but this card—well, it just was over the top.  It was spontaneous, not necessary, and therefore even more meaningful. He said I have been a force of good in his life for so long. He thanked me for being me, for what I stand for, and for being a gift to the world. Pull out the tissue—it’s time to start crying. My lesson: gratitude that comes out of the blue without an incident to prompt it carries a considerable weight. How often do we take for granted that the people in our lives must know how much they are valued? I plead guilty. When was the last time I told my assistant that her presence in my life and caring attitude about what we put out in the universe took a burden off my shoulders? When was the last time I told my neighbor of some 30 years that her presence and care helped me get through lonely days? When was the last time I told my sister and brother that our ability to help each other shoulder burdens is a gift beyond measure? So, think about it. Managers and leaders, when was the last time you individually told each person what you valued about them? Parents, when was the last time you pulled your child aside and told him what you treasure and see in him (or her)? It might be a lovely way to move into 2024.

  • How Would You Like A CEO Or A Thought Leader To Personally Chat With You?

    You’re a solid professional. You have delivered dozens of speeches, written hundreds of articles, given interviews, and written books. You have a legacy to leave but how do you do that?  How do your clients and future clients access this incredible amount of wisdom that you have generated in your field, or about your product? And how do you do that in a way that captures your voice and your essence? To me, these are marvelous questions to jump start this new year. As if he read my mind, my colleague John Baldoni recently emailed me his latest and greatest: the Baldoni ChatBot.  You will find an amazing consolidation of John’s wide range of management insights through a new technology called InfluencerKit.AI. Furthermore, when you visit the Baldoni ChatBot, you’ll find a small blue bubble in the bottom right corner. Type in a question. Almost any question related to leadership, management, grace under pressure, and more. The questions will give you a wide range of responses… all echoing Baldoni’s unique voice. InfluencerKit.AI is the brainchild of Mahesh M. Thakur, a seasoned tech leader, entrepreneur, and highly recognized executive coach. Baldoni sought out Thakur because of his extensive work in the world of AI and coding. Thakur is a former engineer and has been a product manager for Microsoft Bing Search. Thakur designed this platform to help convert visitors into customers and to improve the satisfaction of existing clients and users. The analytics demonstrate how the Bot is delivering value for the brands and the businesses. The owner of the CEO's style and content in a ChatBot is unique. Imagine being able to chat with Steve Jobs or Tim Cook about the new iPhone or iPad you are researching! Pulling together Baldoni’s vast storehouse of knowledge was no easy task. After all, Global Gurus has ranked Baldoni for years among the top leadership coaches and the International Federation of Learning and Development named him to its Hall of Fame in 2021. With 16 books and hundreds of interviews under Baldoni’s belt, capturing his insight and voice was an incredibly difficult task. The Baldoni Bot builds a human-like connection with its personalized responses to the questions the Bot users have. John has found the Bot bringing together his body of work in unique and engaging ways. Each day, John is surprised with how the Bot continues to get sharper and smarter. As a non-techie person, I instantly want to understand these questions: How do I build a deeper connection with every visitor on my website or social media page? How do I answer online questions that reflect my expertise and draw from my body of work? How do you do this and integrate this Bot into my website? How long does this take? How much material must one have to make the chatbot viable? And of course… What is the minimum investment? If these are also your questions, contact the expert. Mahesh can answer any questions and provide you with guidance on how AI can unlock new opportunities for you. His email is Mahesh@InfluencerKit.AI Stay tuned and follow me on Linkedin to learn more…

  • A Clue for Balance: PATIENCE, NOW!!!!!!

    I admit it: I am a jackrabbit. I like to hop to it and get things done. Give me a project and I'll start immediately just so I can get it off my to-do list. The problem is, sometimes in my haste I make mistakes. I admit that I have no tolerance for voicemail doom loops. I have been known to bang a phone against the desk and scream, "Give me a real person!" (Surprise, it doesn't work). I went through some surgery in the past and even though they told me it would be four weeks before I could exercise, that was not good enough for me. I gritted my teeth and impatiently started back before I was supposed to. I found myself gasping for breath and wondering where my muscles went. Too fast, too much, too soon. Here is a startling discovery: Impatient people are prone to obesity, according to a study at the University of Munich in Germany and the University of Michigan at Dearborn. Impatient types are also shown to have a high risk for hypertension later in life. To add insult to injury psychologists at the University of Bonn in Germany discovered that with a simple test of patience, those who put off doing something seemed to have higher IQs than the get-it-done-now group. Oh, brother, I'm in trouble. Experts have described this kind of behavior as time-urgency impatience, or TUI. So, is this a behavioral flaw? A personality trait? Answer: it's not a flaw but it is behavior that has no genetic bearing. It can be altered. Explore why waiting makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes it is our ego that demands everything happen right away. Impatience comes from living in a 24/7 chaotic world. And it is caused by trying to control things over which we have no control. Manage expectations. What can you reasonably expect? Remember that my needs are not the most important things in the universe. Go with the flow. While this sounds like something from the marijuana smoke filled days of the 60s, it is also quite true. Learning to let go, and to stay in the present moment, can be helped through deep breathing and even reciting a phrase over and over again much like a mantra. Even though sometimes that phrase is "I'm going to kill that voicemail." Remember to laugh. It can be actually quite humorous to watch customers compete for the shortest line at the cashier counter. I actually owed my downtime a note of gratitude. Because I couldn't exercise, I rediscovered the wonder of easily walking along the beach. Because I couldn't hop on the computer, I discovered that e-mail still waits and what had seemed so urgent is relegated to the trash. I'm reminded that flowers are forced to bloom before their time dies faster. So, I'm working on changing my time-urgency impatience (TUI) into PUI patience intelligence. This takes patience.  I’ve watched the man who works to build rock art on many occasions. He spends hours getting the rocks to balance.  The rocks stay this way until a high tide knocks them over.  He starts again. To think that I am often quoted as saying “Balance is Baloney!”

  • If Your Get Up and Go Got Up and Went…

    Do you look at your calendar and feel overwhelmed by appointments, meetings, children's activities, family gatherings, etc? Stop! It’s time to plug into something that YOU choose—something that can renew your batteries and refresh your interest in work AND life. Unlike the bobble-headed figures that nod “yes” at every touch, you DO get to declare “time out” and place yourself first. 1: Retreat to advance. Take yourself away for at least two nights and three days to a place for a silent retreat. Yes-silence! Forbid yourself from using the phone, the television, or the radio. It’s time to listen instead to the voices in your head that have been trying to get your attention for ages. Write what you sense. Think on paper. And make resolutions that speak to what matters most. 2: Experience something far afield from your profession. Take a class or read a book that is NOT in your chosen line of work. Select something that piques your curiosity. The notion is to look for connections or ideas that might stimulate a new way of looking at your work or your life. Former elementary teacher Gail Wenos studied ventriloquism and discovered a new way to teach adults! 3: Stretch yourself. If you take an exercise class once a month, try going two more times. If you cook the same food the same way, alternate with a new cookbook. One father saw himself as totally ill-equipped to ride anything that had less than four wheels. But he took motorcycle lessons with his teenage son and his sense of personal accomplishment grew along with the bond to his child. 4: Practice your art every week. Everyone has an art. It might be hammering nails or singing in the shower. It might be designing a garden or counseling a friend. But it uses a talent you’ve got and when this talent is engaged, you burn brightly. You leave the time refreshed. Put this down as a personal “no matter what” on your day timer. 5: Throw out what weighs you down. Read only those things that are meaningful to you. Can the clutter as well as the people who are the constant complainers and gripers. Ditch the weight of unnecessary purchases and their financial burden. Give clothes you haven’t worn in over a year to Goodwill. Remember, every ounce counts. Think of this as the time YOU take control over what charges your batteries and renews your energy field. Guaranteed, it won’t cost $100 per barrel. If you need more help charging your batteries, consider my book "My Get Up and Go… Got Up and Went: Simple Ways to Recharge Your Batteries and Renew Your Life!" It's a simple read and you can take with you wherever you go.

  • The Best Gift You Can Give This Season

    This is not the season of tranquility. Far from it. I won’t even itemize all the crises and newsfeeds that wreak havoc with our brains and our hearts. And if you are dealing with personal challenges in health and family, the burden can feel overwhelming. I don’t know about you, but there are days I feel helpless and hopeless. I shake my head in exasperation and wonder how humans can be so heartless and frankly evil. So much is out of my control. Or it is? I have always said, “Action is the antidote for anxiety”. What can I put into action? Answer: Anything that begins to create a community of caring. I am reaching out to my Jewish AND Muslim friends. We are all fellow human beings who want to create positive change. I will call my friend whose husband is in a memory care unit and has no idea who she is. I will seek anyone in my neighborhood who needs help. I can go grocery shopping, walk dogs, water plants. I can SMILE and greet strangers. I will greet each morning with “I am part of a community of caring”. I intend to close off each day with a list of who I touched in this community of caring, the best gift of caring. What do you think? Will you join me?

  • Did You See the Moon Shadow?

    For the last week or so leading up to November, the Moon was amazing: huge, brilliant, and owned the sky. In my early 5:30 AM run, I didn’t need the flashlight from my iPhone. I just kept up with my shadow down to the beach, across the trails, above the harbor, and home. But as glorious as the moon—captured in Cat Stevens’s song—the stars were even better. You see, I live in Southern California where the ambient light from a dense population often erases all but a few stars. Ah—but not this time. Venus rose bright in the east while Jupiter began to sink to the West. The Big Dipper scooped up stars and the belt of Orion hunted Leo. The phone app, SkyView®, lets me see the constellations brought to life by the ancient Greeks and Romans. (Actually, how they ever saw those figures is beyond me. I figure they were on different “grass” than their sheep.) Such a miracle and mystery in the night sky. Orderly. Ordained. Other-Worldly. My lesson to carry into the day: even when I can’t see them, they are still there. Perhaps hidden behind the darkness of division, fear, and hatred, there are places of light and love. Hmmm. Maybe that’s what I need to work on today–in my little sphere of influence. How about you?

  • Leading from the Heart Helps the Race

    Drizzling, cold rain kept my drive along the Pacific Coast Highway a soggy mess. “Poor cyclists”, I thought as I passed what looked like a race. What a DREARY day for a race! The longer I drove, the more I realized something was DIFFERENT about these cyclists. Sure, some had the lean, hard Lance Armstrong bodies one comes to expect in a bicycle race. But most of these folks were different. A number of them looked like weekend warriors, puffing as they edged up the hill entering Laguna Beach. Pudgy legs, tummies over the handlebars, and gray hair matted down under blue and white pointed hard plastic helmets. Some were young adolescents, peddling in bravado ahead of the adults. A couple hundred riders of different ages, sizes, shapes, and colors. “What’s going on?” I thought as I tried to peer through the beat of the windshield wipers. A number of observers stood by the side of the road, cheering, waving, and holding up posters that looked none the worse for the rain. BEAT MS!!! Leading from the Heart to Beat Multiple Sclerosis “Oh,” I slowed down, waved, and gave a thumbs-up. It was a ride to raise money for multiple sclerosis—that scourge of a disease that turns life into a complicated, never-ending battle to just move. Every week, some 200 people are diagnosed with MS. I passed a team of six wearing identical jerseys “SPOKES people in the fight against MS.”. Spokes? I get it: Bicycles!! I laughed out loud, gave them a thumbs-up, and blew a kiss as I passed. It became a GREAT day for a race—the human race. PS: Blowing kisses is not enough. Where is your heart called? So many causes need our help. I have four friends who have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. That calls me. Alzheimer's: Another Horrid Disease Alzheimer’s is another horrid disease for which there is no cure and no stopping. My grandmother, father, and mother all suffered from dementia. Dad had Lewy Bodies. Nana and Mom had Alzheimer’s. Indeed, my heart responds big time. Every time I can’t remember something, a feeling of panic washes over me. Bottom line: In this month of Thanksgiving, what calls your heart?

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