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What is it about our love for the lowly number three? Amazon lists over two million books that begin with that word. It lurks in our common lexicon for many sayings, structures, beliefs, songs and theater: Three strikes you’re out. Third time’s a charm. Bad things happen in threes: good things happen in threes. Three blind mice, three little pigs and and three billy goats gruff. Three persons in one God, three branches of government, and three bases in baseball. The triangle sits on our currency and that shape is watched over by the third eye. Three Penny Opera, Three Musketeers, and 3’s Company. Three Stooges and Three Tenors who did not sing Three Coins in the Fountain. Charlie’s Angeles, Three Chipmunks, and Huey, Dewey and Louie (non of which can be confused with Charlie’s Angels.). Three-word phrases carry potent emotion: I love you! Hang in there! Got your back. How are you? Hold my hand. Over and Out. Three piece suits and three sheets to the wind (which might cause you to run a three-legged race or ride a tricycle). Maybe it’s because we have three bones in our ear that prompts our brain to create a fascination with three. I have no answer. Like Alice in Wonderland, I find it “curiouser, curiouser and curiouser.”

In a recent Bloomberg article, “Vacation-Phobic Americans Donate a Million Years of Work Annually,” (June 30, 2014), writer Ben Steverman commented that the American workplace culture has developed into a mix of job insecurity and sincere workplace devotion which has led to about 429 million unused vacation days per year nationally, according to a 2014 study by Oxford Economics. American workers do NOT take time off. Not a smart idea. Lack of time off and fatigue results in what I call “the law of diminished returned”. The quality of your efforts and the quantity of your efforts are NOT in direct proportion. How many times did you have to repeat a process, or tried to get out just one more email, hitting the send key and then panicking about what you sent! If you LOVE your work, you will do much better if you are refreshed and rejuvenated. Ideas can percolate and inspiration might abound. If you are afraid of retaliation when you take your earned (and owed) time off—let your employer know that exhaustion breeds error, double work, and cost. Worker fatigue was cited at Chernobyl and Three Mile Island. Driving an auto when fatigued is equivalent to driving with too much alcohol. In June, a tragic accident killed 62-year-old comedian James McNair, who went by the name Jimmy Mack and critically injured three people, including Tracy Morgan Just today, actor Morgan filed a lawsuit against Walmart claiming the retail giant should have known that its driver had been awake for over 24 hours and that his commute of 700 miles from his home in Georgia to work in Delaware was "unreasonable." It also alleges the driver fell asleep at the wheel. I make no legal judgement here. The point is that fatigue can be very dangerous! Do yourself and your workplace a favor. Take time off. Depending upon the nature of your work, perhaps you might see about instituting Summer Fridays. Take turns covering for each other so that one can take off for a 1/2-day or— gasp!— a full day on Friday. Dn’t fret about the work left undone. Remember, the only person who EVER had their work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe! (And if you don’t know who that is... google Daniel Defoe’s character Diminished).

To my complete amazement, about one week ago, I discovered I was pregnant — pregnant with the possibility for the birth of a Monarch Butterfly. Here it was, hanging onto the lip of a fountain.  Another one hung under the ledge of our concrete wall.  The green color reflected the sky and the tiny gold dots surrounding the cocoon were, I discovered, air hole.  Last night, the cocoon had turn black. Under closer inspection, I could see the orange black colors of a wing. Then, this morning, I ran out... my baby had squeezed itself out of the cocoon and was patiently hanging, waiting for its wings to dry.  So many life lessons for both our personal and professional lives within the saga of this tiny creature. But that’s an article for another time.

My first-born granddaughter will make her decision about what college to enter by May. She has offers from six. All good schools. All pretty much the same. The school that will be the most resilient is the one that stands out. Ah, but Seattle University did something that warmed the cockles of ALL of our hearts. With her acceptance letter came a handwritten note from an admissions officer. The officer wrote to Alicia about what was particularly compelling in the essay she had to write with the submission. Talk about personalized attention. And it did not stop there. Last week, Alicia received a poster from the university with one of her sentences printed ON THE POSTER!!!!! Does Alicia feel wanted? Cared about? Listened to? You bet. In the age of twitter characters and emoticons, this human touch is a wonderful differentiator. Yes, it will finally comedown to the financial packages offered by the six schools, but for now--Seattle has risen to the top of Alicia's short list. How can we apply this in our businesses... with our potential and current customers or client. Something to think about.

As a speaker, facilitator, consultant, I am very much a public person. My stock in trade is talking before others - sometimes thousands. Can't do that today. As I told the sales clerk when I forced myself to go into the store, "Please forgive me. I've been in an accident." What I didn't say is that I "accidentally" stayed at the beach in So. Florida as a teenager with no sun screen. No such thing in the 1960s. At this moment my face is covered with scabs, looking like I peeled asphalt in a biking accident. Liquid nitrogen from the dermatologist should burn off the akinit keratosis (precancerous sun damage.) What I didn't say is that I "accidentally" inherited my parents' gene for gum recession. Two days ago, the oral surgeon cut skin from the roof of my mouth and grafted it to the places where the gum is reduced. I head back to see him today as my face and lips are now swollen out of proportion, my eye droops, and it feels like a liver clot has formed on one of my gums. TMI? Probably. But it really has my head spinning. For the first time, I am VERY grateful that I have no work until later.  Not only do I look frightening, but I also can't speak clearly with the swelling. Thus - even podcasts are out of the question. I had to cancel one scheduled for today! Resilient people seek backup plans. I know that. I teach that. And I don't have one - yet. But I am working on it. I think of this as my wake-up call. What would you do?

Arlington Cemetery takes one's breath away. So many soldiers. So many lives ended. So many stories to be told on this Memorial Day weekend. This past November, at the Women's War Memorial in Arlington Cemetery my sister and I joined with some 100 people for the screening of a documentary by Jill Bond, in collaboration with Colonel Randy Larsen USAF (Ret). We had a very keen interest in the film because it was the story of a band of 1076 intrepid women pilots who took over all domestic military flying for a two-year stint in WWII. The Women's Air Force Service Pilots (WASP) logged over 60 million air miles of wartime duty, collectively flying every plane in the U.S. arsenal. Thirty-eight died in the course of duty but because they were not officially military (despite doing everything the Air Force cadets did), there were no benefits, no flag-draped coffin, and no candle in the window to signify the death of someone in the service.   Our mother was a WASP and today, I am slowly transcribing the tiny script on the letters she wrote daily to her family. I am now reading about one of the crashes and how Mom went to the hospital and donated money to send the body of her friend and fellow WASP home to parents. While the WASP were finally recognized in 2012 for their service, these 38 were dismissed for decades.  You can buy the DVD here .

Just finished the most delightful conversation with She's an Emmy award winner, fabulous writer, and a brilliant thinker. We covered so many topics while, at the same time, found points of mutuality that helped us talk at deeper levels. Mutuality. It was the topic of Kare's TedX talk and a key component of her work. It is what is missing in so much of our conversations today. We don't have the in-depth conversations that explore our points of convergence so we can start at places of agreement. Consider that tweets and emoticons become substitutes for in-depth facts and real analysis.  We make judgements on the fly without digging deeper.  Look at the dysfunctional behavior of Congress--now considered the most ineffective  on record.  Polarization exists within our churches, our educational systems, our churches, and our communities. An inability to seek at least one place of commonality creates inaction at the very time action is needed. None of us holds absolute truth. We can always benefit from seeing the world through someone's eyes. You might be amazed at the synergy that results.

Have you had one of “those days”? You know the kind: the cat peed on the carpet; your dog chewed your best and most expensive shoes; the car wouldn’t start; your dishwasher broke and water flooded the kitchen; and the big project you counted on vanished like snowflakes in the desert. UGH! UGH! UGH! Hard to feel resilient when what you’d really like to do is sit in the middle of the kitchen mess and cry. Or scream. Or both. Then something happens. A friend walks in. Within a heartbeat, he says one single sentence. “Eileen, don’t cry for something that won’t cry for you.” The UGH became a HUG. Great lesson. Picked me off the floor. Don’t cry for something that won’t cry for you.

I am holding the hand of Max, my 16 year-old neighbor, a sweet surfer young man and academic scholar (not mutually exclusive). He gave me the excellent advice on how to buy and use a GoPro camera for my March Baja whale adventure. Alas, I failed to listen to his best advice about putting a “floatie” on the camera when it was thrust under the water to capture the Pacific gray whales.  I decided at the last minute to listen to one of the “adults”— a nuclear expert who had many cameras with him. The GoPro vanished in 100 plus feet of water the first time it was used. Lesson? Yes! Sometimes what makes our life work is our willingness to listen to younger voices. Just as I needed Max’s hand to steady me on this rolling Indo board, I should have used his advice to steady me in using the camera. We can get thrown off our “board” or lost at sea without opening our minds to advice of many. Next time, Max—I am listening to you!

Three skills we need to constantly hone and develop now before they are “needed”. 1. Develop Integrity Never, ever do anything in your personal or business life online or offline that would cause people to question your integrity. Credibility means everything to your networking success. I encourage you to do a personal inventory and assess how effective you are gaining and maintaining credibility with key influential people and using social media tools to portray that personally and professionally. Be sure to study your online profile—know yourself and how you are being perceived online. What makes people credible in the world of social media? Of course, it helps to have a large number of connections, friends and followers—but that’s just a start. People who build and maintain credibility in the digital world have numerous high-quality relationships with respected people . . . who respect them. When it comes to building credibility on social media, be selective in the connections you make, categorize, and personalize. You’ll soon have a respectable network. 2. Demonstrate Expertise Become a Domain Expert on a given topic. People will look to network with you because you have stood up for something and know a particular subject matter better than others. Show up. Be seen. Be engaged. Be engaging. Be willing to serve. Be present. Social media gives each of us an unparalleled opportunity to have our expertise and knowledge seen and be appreciated by thousands. Join LinkedIn Groups, Google+, and Facebook pages where those of like mind can come to know you and the skill set you possess. 3. Build an Online Community to Develop a Stronger Communication Strategy To communicate openly and effectively with others and form a basis of trust, remember to stick to your Principles but abandon your Assumptions. As I connect the dots from year to year, from opportunity to opportunity, it becomes obvious that the opportunities I have been given are attributable to relationships that have been grown or established through simple interactions via technology. The fuel has been my love of people; technology has simply been the means to communicate with them. Everything in relationships is personal—even in business. Facebook is the definitive place to learn more about potential business partners, customers, and clients. Use it to communicate directly by sending private messages using the Facebook platform. When you send a personalized message as opposed to just a like or a comment, your chances of a deeper connection increase. Use social media tools and email to ensure you remain linked up in useable ways with your connections. Let me add that with all of these twenty-first century tools of communication, you should and can always be networking. Master networkers are individuals who realize that networking is a life skill, not just when you want something for yourself. In order to succeed at building your network, it is important to show up at events, link up with them in a meaningful way, follow up, and keep in touch. Leaders and other winning business professionals are exceptional at staying linked to others who might be great contacts today, tomorrow, or down the road. David Bradford, “The Bottlecap Kid”, is Executive Chairman and former CEO of HireVue, former CEO of Fusion-io, and a member of the Utah Technology Council Hall of Fame.  David is known for accelerating the growth and performance of game-changing organizations by utilizing his “UP Principles” which he outlines in his new book , UP YOUR GAME: 6 Timeless Principles for Networking Your Way to the Top. His last two companies, HireVue and Fusion-io are two of the fastest growing tech businesses in the U.S. Learn more about David and UP YOUR GAME at DavidBradford.com.

Journalistic skill was not lacking according to USA TODAY ‘s reported dismissal of Jill Abramson’s as editor of the NY TIMES. According to Arthur Sulzberger, publisher and chair of The NY Times Co, ”We had an issue with management in the newsroom.” Umm. Issue with management? She DID guide the organization into the paper’s aggressive shift toward digital content and grew the company in circulation revenue. Umm. Skilled journalist. Grew revenue. Dismissed? The article went on to note that her replacement, Dean Baquet, is liked for his engaging personality and rapport with staffers. The paper quoted an editor from The Times - Picayune“  as a manager, he’s a rare combination of inspiring, empathetic and even-keeled. He knows instinctively how to respond to journalistic news….” Every leader needs to read that sentence again: As a manager, he’s a rare combination of inspiring, empathetic and even-keeled. He knows instinctively how to respond to journalistic news….”   It’s not enough to have skill at the job. It is essential to understand the hardest part of any business: the people. Soft skills remain essential for resilient leadership. It’s an issue I have been preaching and teaching for years. This is just one more example. Something to think about. PS: When he addressed the staff after the announcement yesterday. Baquet received a minute-long round of applause from the employees.

After almost two years of sitting empty, the house next door is finally being torn down. But this is no ordinary teardown. I have been watching workmen carefully breakdown this house. Roof tiles are stacked in the backyard. Windows and frames have been carefully removed. Sinks, toilets, doors sit in the garage. Railings, front door, lumber, anything that can be reused is inventoried and stockpiled. The result: Habitat for Humanity will receive these materials. Thanks to the new owner’s foresight, he found a deconstruction company(501 3C) that is bringing cheers instead of jeers that normally accompanying the bulldozers, dust, hammers, and incessant dust, dirt and noise. There’ a resiliency lesson in this: often what looks like parts of our work or life is being ripped up, there are things to keep and use. Take with you friends you have made, lessons you have learned, skills that can be sharpened. Redesign your work or your life to fit the new you that is being built. Remember: from breakdown comes buildup!