As we celebrate Memorial Day, I wanted to share the words my sister, Susan Mullins wrote to the VFW post in York, PA: On May 4, 2012 we brought our mom home to York, Pennsylvania for her final service in St. Mary’s Catholic Church.  This had been her home for all her religious rites of passage during her 96 years. What was most powerful for us though was to see those 15 uniformed veterans waiting for Mom at attention as she arrived at old St. Mary’s Cemetery on the outskirts of town. My brother, sister, aunt and I sat before Mom’s urn at the Reineberg family plot as the soldiers unfolded the flag and held it in position.  Through the presentation of the colors, the firing of the rifles and the most moving and haunting playing of Taps. I was remembering a special conversation with Mom. It was 1978 and the WASP had just received full military recognition and their honorable discharges 34 years after they were disbanded.  I asked Mom what was the most important thing to her about this recognition as she had always humbly said, “I just did my part”.  Without a beat she answered, “Now I can have a military burial and a flag-draped casket.”  As I looked at the flag and watched these wonderful veterans honor Mary Reineberg Burchard I thought, “Mama, this is what you’ve always wanted and it is beautiful.”  The Air Force veteran, who so caringly presented the flag to our sister, moved everyone to tears with just his opening words, “On behalf of the President of the United States, the Secretary of the Air Force and a grateful Nation....” Yes, “a grateful Nation”.  Our family is very grateful to the service of all these veterans to our country before and now through their efforts as the  VFW York County Veteran Honor Guard.  We know Mom was flying near us that day, happy and proud to see all her family and to be with her “brothers in service” on that hillside. Many thanks to all members of the VFW who continue to honor their departed comrades.  It is a valuable gift to those veterans as they pass on and to their loved ones who are left behind.

In trying to clean out the VAST accumulation of papers in my office, I keep turning up bits and pieces from past speeches, clippings I have saved, and poems I kept. Goodness knows how old this is BUT the words are so important as we approach a weekend of remembering. He prayed—it wasn’t my religion. He ate—it wasn’t what I ate. He spoke—it wasn’t my language. He dressed—it wasn’t what I wore. He took my hand—it wasn’t the color of mine. But when he laughed—it was how I laughed, and when he cried—it was how I cried. “Underneath We’re all the Same” by Amy Maddox, 16 Franklin Community High School, Bargersville, Ind. We remember those who fought and died for us. And we also must continue to seek ways to bring justice and peace in the world so the remembrances become fewer in number rather than greater.

USA Today has a great article about the resiliency of Tuscaloosa, AL and Joplin, MO and their recovery and resilience after the tornadoes that ripped through these towns last year. My favorite part of the article is the beginning "Here is what you do after a massive tornado slashes the heart of your city, killing scores of citizens, wiping away landmarks of a lifetime.  You rethink everything."  Willingness to rethink old ways of doing things is part of being resilient and these two cities are the epitome of resilience.  Read the entire article here.

Just returned from York, PA and the funeral of my almost 96-year old Mother.  In the course of the past four years, I’ve watched nurses in hospitals, skilled nursing facilities, and hospice settings. Without a doubt, these women and men represent a resiliency in the face of systems and situations that could wear anyone down. During this week as the nation salutes the nursing profession, we’d all be well served if we took a few lessons from these professionals. Speaking to 300 Directors of Nursing (DONs) from LifeCare Centers of America, I listened to their passion and concern for their patients. They tackled operational challenges, laughed with abandon at the Medical Director’s expense, and cheered wildly for winners of service awards. The Strengths: Passion for the work Concern and care for the “customer” Ability to laugh at themselves and each other Support and celebration for the team. With our hospice nurses, I observed the same thing. Their sensitivity, compassion, and unfailing spirits were hallmarked by the exact same strengths. Here’s the point: if passion for your work has died - find something to rekindle it somewhere.  If customers and team members fill you with disdain or indifference, find a place where you can truly care about these two groups.  And if the last laugh you had was watching your handsome brother slip on a banana peel in front of the Homecoming queen, you might consider a SERIOUS attitude implant.  Humor remains a critical resiliency skill. And in this week, all strong nurses have it in abundance.

This past week, I had the wonderful opportunity to address about 600 members of the Women's Food Service Forum. In one of the interactive exercises, we all learned that a young women was a survivor of Stage 4 lung cancer.  The audience spontaneously jumped to their feet and applauded. Later that night, I found Christy dancing with wild enthusiasm on a dance floor--an amazing feat for anyone with diminished lung capacity. Here is what she wrote to me: "Over the last 5 years I have had the pleasure to provide hope to so many people battling cancer.  Hope can take you anywhere.  When faced with a challenge, it’s all in how you look at it that will determine the outcome. Facing challenges head on can make such a difference. "And then she signed her email this way: Remain victorious, Christy Hope. That's precisely what is rebuilding the cities of Joplin, MO and Tuscaloosa, AL . One year ago, these towns were devastated when tornadoes ripped through, killing a total of 171 people. Read accounts now and you hear optimism, recovery, gratitude, and a chance to rebuild in smarter ways. Without hope none of this could be possible. I loved reading the words of Malachi Dubose, an 11 year-old who rode out the Alabama storm with his mother and five sibling as they huddled in a windowless bathroom. USA TODAY (April 30) stated that he spoke about life before, describing neighbors and garden and he also spoke about hope, "Out of despair and closed eyes, when the cameras left and the president flew away, without video games and television, out of tears and sleepless nights, and in the hands of my parents through faith in God…we are paving new streets."A cancer survivor and an 11 year-old from a tornado-ravaged town. Lessons surely for all of us.

From the U.S. Army Twitter Stream:  “When bad things happen through hardships, we make a conscious decision to either be resilient or give up.” What can you do to be more resilient?

Most search engines would have you believe it is the simple ability to display good coping skills during difficult times.  Resilience goes much deeper than that.  For some people, resilience is almost always an easy thing.  Knock them down and they pop right up again.  For others, it's not so simple.  They struggle and their lack of resilience can cause emotional and physical symptoms.  To go deeper into understanding resilience you must examine the psychology involved.  To learn more read the article "Psychological Resilience" at Wikipedia.

Just came back from Oregon, celebrating the 16th birthday of my first-born granddaughter. She's 5'10" and  gorgeous, inside and out. Sweet. Kind. Smart.  But it will take everything we have to help her stay that way. The portrayal of women in the media has become more violent, sexual, degrading, and dehumanizing in the last few years.  If you doubt it, please watch the trailer for the film, Miss Representation.  It has earned many awards and is now the focal point of a national movement to stop sexism and violence against women. THEN do something!!!  Here's what Jennifer Siebel Newsom, director of Miss Representation suggests: 1. Tell 5 people about the film and share one thing you learned from watching it. 2. Parents:  watch TV and films with your children.  Raise questions like “What if that character had been a girl instead?” 3. Remember your actions influence others. Mothers, aunts and loved ones—don’t downgrade or judge yourself by your looks. Fathers, uncles and loved ones—treat women around you with respect. Remember children in your life are watching and learning from you. 4. Use your consumer power. Stop buying tabloid magazines and watching shows that degrade women. Go see movies that are written and directed by women (especially on opening weekend to boost the box office ratings). Avoid products that resort to sexism in their advertising. 5. Mentor others! It’s as easy as taking a young woman to lunch. Start by having open and honest conversations with a young person in your life. Here are my suggestions: Use Twitter and blog posts to raise awareness about ad campaigns , news images, and films that use women (or men for that matter) in dehumanizing, violent and sexual ways. Stop buying the products of companies that support such campaigns. And let them know WHY you are not buying it! My precious granddaughters (all three) and I will thank you.

“Please continue to hold. A baggage agent will be with you shortly.” Stop already!!!! I am tired of listening to Rhapsody in Blue. I want a human being. And I do NOT want baggage claim. I am trying to find my glasses left in a “United Club” yesterday. Forget it. I have gotten through 2 hours of on-hold with what had been the “Red Carpet Club”, then sent to busy signals at San Fran Airport and now, I am told lost-and-found is my answer.  Alas, this number I am given goes NOT to lost-and-found but Baggage Claim. AAAARGH. I do not want to talk to Avatar Alex!!!! I am so angry I could do serious damage to another human being. My husband better lay low. How can so many people have so many pieces of wrong information? At one time, I had close to one million miles on United. Not any more. They cancelled so many flights from Orange Coast to the East Coast I could no longer use them. Now, their fares are so much higher than other carriers, I can’t ask my clients to pay for it. This last insult is not being able to speak to a human being. Is this what mergers mean? Oh yes, they changed my Mileage Plus number that I have probably held for 20 years into some numerical/alpha thing . They have NOT sent out anything such as a card to remember this new “number “. Another stanza of Rhapsody in Blue. Saints preserve us!!! If you are as angry as I am about not getting to the right people, in a timely manner, and with companies (carriers) who haven’t figured out how to matter to their clients, WRITE!!! Can we start a ground swell.???? !!!!!!!!!

For 15 long days, Mom refused food and water, shrinking her already tiny self into maybe a scant 80 pounds. Whatever energy she had left, when she wasn’t sleeping, was reserved to nod yes and no to questions and mouth the words, “I love you too.”  Kneeling beside her bed, with my face close to hers, I told her again, “I love you.” “I love you too,” Mom whispered. “I love you three and four,” I responded, watching a smile and small chuckle wash over her face. It was the last smile I would see. But even if she slipped the surly bonds of earth and crossed the sky on rainbow-colored wings, she made sure that her messages of comfort would continue… unexplainable messages that I quietly offer to all of us who believe life is indeed a continuum. Throughout her last days and nights, I’d give her tiny kisses pressed in her sunken cheek or across her now unlined forehead. “Butterfly kisses, Mamacita.  Get rid of this cocoon. Go fly. You’re a butterfly among all the flowers of heaven. Indeed, flying was Mom’s passion from her days as a WWII Women’s Air Force Service Pilot-WASP. The morning Mom died, I stepped outside Aegis Assisted Living to answer my cell phone. Talking to my assistant Bonnie, I suddenly glanced up.  A gorgeous Monarch butterfly was practicing touch-and-go landings on the flowers! “Bonnie, a butterfly!” She quickly responded. “The native Americans believed that the butterfly is a sign from a soul.  Now watch for coins at your feet.” I never understood the significance of coins but then again, I had never heard about the butterfly. Later that day, when we’ve cleaned out her room, my twin brother and I finally go home, numb and heavy hearted yet grateful for our Mom’s amazing life and love for us. We want nothing more than to walk down to the beach in the brilliant California sunshine. As we near the bluff top overlooking the Pacific, my eyes sweep downward:  a quarter!  I’ve walked this path for 32 years and never seen even a penny. “John, look!”  I held the quarter up to the sky and said, “Ok, Mama—how about two whales?” Yes, my friends. Just as John and I reached the bluff to gaze across this expanse of blue, two gray whales spouted on their journey south to San Ignacio Lagoon in the Baja..  While it is the season for migrating whales, it has been years since I have seen any during my constant beach runs. Mom started off my January reminding me that life is nothing if not a daring adventure. ***  Now, she tells me to pay attention, to watch with eyes of wonder and mystery. L’Chaim. To life.

If employee retention has recently become a problem do something more than exit interviews with those that leave.  Gather your long-term employees and interview them.  Find out why they've stayed.  Look for tangible and intangible reasons.  In addition to finding out what benefits are the most enticing you'll want to ask about their feelings.  You might find out that policies that changed over the years but where grandfathered for more senior employees are the reason why those people stayed and new employees left.  You'll never know what made the difference unless you ask.

Women are the way forward. Finally, beginning today - Feb 1- some of the most powerful companies in the U.S (Coca-Cola, Accenture, and others) are signing a worldwide pledge to bring women into the economic mainstream. And not a second too soon. They are finally beginning to understand what development experts have known all along: women are more likely than men to put their income back into their communities, drive up literacy, drive down mortality, and ultimately, raise GDP. Recently Walmart has pledged more than $20 billion to source women-owned companies in the U.S. and Coca Cola has since announced a similar program to support 5 million women entrepreneurs globally by 2020. Question though: why must women start their own businesses to flourish? When will U.S. businesses also grasp what a recent Catalyst survey shows: a strong correlation between gender diversity in leadership ranks results in better economic performance for the company.