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  • The Miracle of Stables—Plural

    At this time of year, the Christian world thinks of the stable at Bethlehem and the birth of the Christ child. But there are other miracles in other stables… specifically the stables at The Shea Center in San Juan Capistrano, CA. The Shea Center Founded in 1978 by Derek and Nancy Lewis for their 10-year-old cerebral palsy son, Michael, Shea is a therapeutic riding center that today is one of the most highly accredited centers in the nation. I had the wonderful opportunity to observe just one of their programs, Stars and Stripes, designed to help U.S. military service members with PTSD. This program offers an environment for healing through equine-assisted learning activities. As Winston Churchill proclaimed, “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a person.” Dedicated to improving the lives of people with disabilities, children as young as two years old may participate in PT/OT/Speech services using equine movement. Children four years old and up participate in adaptive riding classes which help improve core stability and more. Shea currently has 210 clients per week, over 800 participants each year. The youngest is two and the oldest is 100! To serve this many, 428 volunteers and 28 full-time staff do everything possible to care for clients and horses. Physical and cognitive disabilities comprise 69 diagnoses seen each year at Shea. The top three diagnoses served are autism, genetic disorder, and cerebral palsy. Many clients speak their first word or take their first step at Shea. I call that a miracle. Volunteering at the Shea Center Why not participate in another miracle at a stable! Please visit their web site and if you are in the Orange County, California area, you might consider volunteering. I intend to be more involved for sure. Happy New Year to All!

  • Men Work Hard

    “Men work hard but women work miracles”—Ricky Gervais What a statement from the fearless British comedian. It was in an interview he gave to AARP Magazine. (Yes—the guy is age 60!) His statement didn’t make me laugh—it made me think. How many women I know who perform incredible deeds of courage, tenacity, and caring while—often—hiding behind the scenes. I think of my tiny, stooped over Nana carrying huge wet baskets of wash from the basement to hang them outside on a clothesline, constantly cleaning the floors, and planting or reaping in her garden. There was Mom who managed to feed us all when money was tight, keep us calm and centered during hurricanes, and turned even a waterskiing mishap into an adventure. Or how about Sojourner Truth, a former slave, abolitionist and women’s rights activist who in 1851 delivered a speech that came to be known as “Ain’t I A Woman?” She helped recruit black troops for the Union Army. Consider Joan of Arc, Amelia Earhart, Indira Gandhi, Florence Nightingale, and even climate activist Greta Thunberg. Every one of them took a stance and worked miracles in their own way. Thanks, Ricky. I hadn’t thought much about it until I read your words.

  • The Gift of Sight Beats a Plaque

    I just finished presenting a closing keynote for about 350 health care professionals from across the United States. A fabulous group of dedicated nurses, doctors and allied professionals were gathered for the 21st Annual Healthcare Services Excellence Conference. To talk about Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience to these folks in the face of the past 20 months of Covid was both intimidating and a privilege. We laughed, cried, and together discovered tools for surviving and thriving. The conference organizer, Custom Learning Systems from Calgary, Canada, demonstrated the most meaningful speaker gift. To honor my presentation, I was given a small folder which said, “we have funded a surgical restoration for one individual—36-year-old Jacob—through the efforts of Operation Eyesight.” I cried. So, listen up anyone who wants to say thank-you. None of us need a plaque, a trophy or a piece of paper. Give a gift that changes someone’s life. Now that’s a treasure beyond measure.

  • Island Magic Strikes—TWICE

    Goosebumps! That’s what it’s like to be the opening AND closing keynote speaker for TOP OF THE TABLE at the Million Dollar Roundtable on Amelia Island, FL this past October. Thanks, Tamra Martin, for sharing this picture with me. Otherwise, I might have thought I dreamt it. But there was even more magic on this barrier island besides an incredible audience. Forty-four years ago, on this very island, I met my amazing husband, Bill Elvins. Little did we know at the time, with Bill returning to California and I moving in with my sister in Los Angeles, that we’d find love and now mark 41 years of marital bliss. We had not been back to Amelia Island since 1978. Gratefully, Bill was able to come with me to the conference. What a joy to watch the sun AND moon come up over the Atlantic. I can’t get that in California. Ahh—but the second piece of magic was dancing barefoot, on the grass, while the waves crashed and the moon cast its pale light. I think the Island still holds a spell over us. And thanks, Top of the Table for making this magic happen again.

  • The Best Books For Surviving (And Thriving) In Disruptive Times

    I recently met Ben Fox of Shepherd virtually and discussed creating a list of the best books for surviving (and thriving) in disruptive times. You will find it published at https://shepherd.com/best-books/for-surviving-and-thriving-in-disruptive-times. The Shepherd website is creating an experience that is like wandering around your favorite bookstore. It starts with an author discussing one of their books and includes little notes from the author pointing out their favorite books on one topic. Ben started Shepherd in celebration of reading, books, and the authors who make it all possible. My list includes the books Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Courageous Cultures: How to Build Teams of Micro-Innovators, Problem Solvers, and Customer Advocates by Karin Hurt and David Dye, On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old by Parker J. Palmer and After the Shock: Getting You Back On the Road to Resilience When Crisis Hits You Head On by Becky Sansbury. I included information on why I chose each book and what I liked about it. Shepherd is a fascinating website. Samples of the many list topics are the best books on World War II, the best books for self-awareness, the best books on mythology and the best books on surfing. Be careful when you visit the website… you may lose track of time and find yourself reading lists for hours!

  • Who Says A 5-Day Work Week Is Sacred?

    Will Stronge, a U.K.-based researcher and co-author of Overtime: Why We Need a Shorter Working Week , says the 40-hour workweek in the U.S. was fought for and earned by workers less than a century ago. However, with burnout flames leaping in every industry, there’s a wake-up call. Times have changed! Technology now allows us to do things faster but instead of releasing us from a prescribed work week - we’ve just crammed it with more “to do”. Here are three ideas to see what can be done to eliminate hours and regain—instead—energy and focus… not to mention a 3-day weekend. Sweep Away Meaningless Work Redundancy, email overload, and useless meetings are just some of the energy-draining activities that workers face on a daily basis. If you are in a leadership position, be bold and ask your team, “What are the things you do that seem to be time wasters?” Gather the data. What can be eliminated, altered, or adjusted in a more appropriate fashion? I remember hearing a contractor talk about being required to write a huge report that seemed to have extraneous details. He put a page from a recipe book in the report just to see if anyone even read it. Yes—you are correct. Not one comment about the recipe! Develop The Skill of Appreciative Inquiry (AI) Think of this as organizational reframing for intelligent optimism. Developed by David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastva, two professors at Case Western Reserve, AI uses an appreciative approach to look at opportunities versus problems. It builds upon collaborative and strengths-based change. Imagine the power of bringing together a team to dream, develop and deliver products and processes that are life-enhancing for the organization. Ask “when this works well, what is in place? What will we be doing?” Elevate The Gift Of Gratitude Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer you ever said was thank you, that would be enough” . Recall how your personal energy increased when someone noticed the work you did and acknowledged it. Remember, a pat on the back is a short distance from a kick in the pants but a LONG way in generating positive results. Resilience, the ability to grow through challenge or opportunity, is enhanced when one’s efforts are noticed. Simple step. Powerful in results. And cousin to gratitude is kindness. There’s a Persian proverb, “With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair.” And with kindness, you will notice when your teammates need time out and time away.

  • The Great Resignation or the Great Revelation?

    I just typed “great resignation” into Google search and over three million potential matches appeared. You see “help wanted” ads and signs in many locations, particularly hospitality and leisure. You read about all manner of inducements from scheduling flexibility, health and wellness programs, ability to work remotely, gym memberships, and more. While bemoaning the absence of a beefed-up work force and blaming unemployment assistance as the reason, there’s a huge opportunity to critically reconsider the entire world of work and the various nuances of engagement. In short, salary alone is not the answer. Case in point. When talking with a waiter at a restaurant in California, he acknowledged the shortage of staff. He then added, “It’s not salary. It’s the inability to find affordable housing.“ Housing is outrageous here in California—but also around the country. I have read no reports that share with leaders that the issue is far bigger than income, childcare (which is huge) and perks. This revelation underscores the need for business and community leaders to address a problem that impacts many. One other revelation. According to The Mind at Work study by Potential Project, employees with high resiliency have 21% higher job satisfaction and 31% lower turnover. Data was captured via Mindgrow, a diagnostic tool developed with academic research partners from Harvard Business School, Columbia Business School, Rotman School and Management and University of CA Berkeley. So, while we tackle the challenge of housing, let’s learn how to help employees manage workplace and home stressors by cultivating their resilience muscle. It can be done!

  • The World’s Shortest Blog

    A huge sign stretched across the auto dealership that faced a major interstate highway: New Management! Better Attitude! Gets you thinking, right? How bad must the former management have been to announce to the world this huge change? Ask your family, friends, and team members what they think. Their answers might be a wake-up call.

  • 10 Tips How To Be More Resilient in the Workplace

    After the many uncertainties brought by the COVID-19 pandemic and all the disparities that transpired from it, resilience has become one of the most sought-after traits employers look for in employees. Based on the textbook definition, resilience is a person’s ability to respond to pressure, stressful situations, and circumstances that require a high level of endurance and forbearing. In other words, as Eileen McDargh insists, what actions will help us GROW through experiences and become better through them. To survive and carry on despite stress, everyone should be hardy and resilient, especially in the workplace where employees are sometimes pushed to their breaking points. Lucky for you, this list includes pro-tips to thrive under high stress and be even more resilient. 1. Be rational. While facing a challenge can often become taxing and stressful, remember there is a solution for every problem. By being rational, you can control how you interpret and respond to events you did not foresee. Composing yourself will allow you to see challenging situations with a silver lining. In this way, you can set aside your emotions so that you can think of strategies and methods to form a bandaid fix or resolution. 2. Ensure your goals are realistic. You do not want to fall hard from high expectations. You want to set realistic targets that are workable and feasible to ensure that you will hit them consistently. When confronted with obstacles and arduous tasks, you put your resiliency to the test, so work with your chin up and your work ethics high. You can rise above the rigors when you highlight constructivism and personal development in a broader context. 3. Lean on your social circle. Human beings are social creatures. Forging relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues can go a long way in developing a sense of sensitivity. Through such, you will be able to practice resilient communication so that you can face any verbal kung-fu, adversity, or conflict with mindfulness and grace. 4. Encourage life-long learning. Lifelong learning is key to self-development and resilience. Inspirational and educational talks, be it in the form of webinars or training and workshops, can improve your social skills, track record, cognitive abilities, and strategies in overcoming adversity. 5. Celebrate small victories. Take time to notice how far you have come. Revisit your progress chart and tap yourself for successes that you made. This can motivate your mind to be up for more improvement and success instead of looking back at what went wrong. Congratulate yourself for all the feathers in your cap. Live a little and celebrate your wins by doing self-care activities. 6. Reach out to others who might need help. There is no better way to show resilience than by extending help to others through collaboration. Ensure you keep your ears open and the table available for others so you can understand and offer assistance where and when they need it. Such gestures can make you and the other person feel connected and competent. By doing so, you both can boost your satisfaction, self-esteem and achieve a higher and a greater sense of purpose. 7. Allow for proactivity. Being proactive means you take an active role in dealing with something right before someone else takes care of it. Make this part of your productivity habits. Proactiveness can develop your sense of urgency, preparedness, and reliability. When you are proactive, you constantly find yourself one step ahead of every due date and deadline. You will also have plenty of time to be meticulous, review, and check for errors. 8. Take full responsibility. Recognizing everything in your quadrant, your responsibility, and all you are accountable for should be taken constructively and to your advantage. To cultivate resiliency in the workplace, one must always be willing to take full responsibility for their work. This attitude can help you get rid of both distractive and destructive forces to build strong willpower so you can do what is expected of you. 9. Accept change as a challenge. To be resilient is also equivalent to sustaining your motivation and energy when confronted with change. When you find yourself on the brink of change, practice appreciative inquiry or AI. It is a positive approach to organizational change and leadership that focuses on one own’s and the company’s strengths. Capitalizing on such strengths can help all individuals and the entire organization work together toward a shared vision. Not only does this hit the goals, but it also fosters camaraderie, builds organizational resilience, and brings change while keeping restraining forces at bay. 10. Smile and be happy. Because indeed, there will always be a way to turn things around — that is the ultimate secret of being resilient. Smiling is a simple indication of happiness, optimism, and positivity. After all, “it was not all that bad.” The law of attraction is true to its meaning. We attract what we think of. How we dictate things to be will take over our minds and will make it a reality. To be resilient, you have to deal with hardships as though they are naturally occurring so that you can entertain each one as it comes to you with high endurance, a stable mind, and a courageous attitude. Kat is a Molecular Biology Scientist turned Growth Marketing Scientist. During her free time, she loves to write articles that will bring delight, empower women, and spark the business mind. She loves to bake but unfortunately, baking doesn't love her back. She has many things in her arsenal and writing is one of her passion projects.

  • The Power of Boundary Setting

    When Robert Frost penned, “good fences make good neighbors”, he was thinking of sheep wandering to a neighbor’s garden. Today, crafting fences (not walls) in our work and life is a solid technique for conserving energy and staying focused. Let me explain. In studying the causes of burnout, being a bobble head is a practice sure to ignite exhaustion. Nodding yes to every request is a sure-fire (pardon the pun) way to expend unnecessary energy and take a potential project away from someone who could benefit. Case in point: Jan was an administrator with an escrow company. The case load piled up and she’d work until 10 at night to stay caught up. “I’m just fried,” she confessed in a coaching session. “So what will happen if you don’t say enough and put a line in the sand that says you are going home at 5pm?”, I asked. “I might die,” responded Jan. The potential of getting fired seemed almost a pleasure. Sounds dramatic but it took that realization for Jan to gather up her courage and inform her manager that there was a statute of limitations for how long she could work in a day. Jan didn’t get fired. In fact, she got a raise. The manager had NO IDEA how long each one of these escrow cases took nor how many hours Jan was working. Plus, by turning over some the case load to another employee, that person became trained in a different part of the escrow process. Now, I am not promising anyone a raise but here’s the point: If you are very good at what you do, you’ll be given more and more. Our ego gets hooked into believing that we are Wonder Woman or Superman. There’s almost a diabolic pleasure in being the can-do-give-it-to-me person. And there is a price to be paid. The ability to say “no” or “not now” is a gift not only to yourself but also to others. For yourself, there are things that you and only you could, should, and can do. Turning over the writing of a critical proposal to a new employee with little experience would be foolhardy. However, turning over parts of it could be an educational opportunity and ultimately develop a new skill for that team member, Listen up leaders: Few want to disappoint the manager. It might be difficult for employees to draw a line with you. Share your concern about how much someone is working. Create literal time-outs for employees and require them to take time off. You have a toxic work environment if overwork is a badge of honor. And… you will lose your best and brightest. Boundary setting also extends into our personal life. There’s no written law (other than our own guilt and misplaced affection) that says Mom has to do all the household chores or Dad is the gardener. By sharing duties around the household, we create a community feeling that says, “I am not a guest—I belong here”. Besides, by not setting boundaries and sharing duties, members of the household are prevented from learning the basics of household management and upkeep. Were Robert Frost alive today, he might change his statement. “Good boundary setting makes good companies and good families.

  • 5 COVID-19 POSITIVE Lessons

    NOTE from Eileen: As we start back this school season, I believe United World College Costa Rica has lessons for each of us about resilience. Just read what they have learned in handling a pandemic and having students who could not return home because their country has closed down. Love these guys! PS: If you feel so inclined, here’s how you can donate. These students give me global hope! A lot has been written about the lessons learned of individual resilience from our shared pandemic experience— usually, what not to do. But what about the reflections and good lessons for resilience we have gained as communities and as organizations? Let us share some reflections of collective resilience at UWC Costa Rica. First, here is a quick overview of who we are. United World Colleges (UWC) is an international movement of 18 schools and colleges—including UWC Costa Rica, the only one in Latin America and the Caribbean— that brings together teenagers (16-19 years old) from 70+ countries and thousands of alumni and educators across the world. We are joined by a shared mission: “to make education a force to unite for peace and a sustainable future.” At the core of UWC is the conviction that we can change the world if we get to know each other beyond prejudices and instead, connect through our shared humanity to address local and global challenges. In fewer words: empathy. In less than a week in March 2020 UWC Costa Rica made the difficult decision to end the year early and support 200+ students in their journey back to their families. At the same time, dozens of countries closed their borders making some of the journeys a true odyssey. In an instant, daily priorities shifted drastically. We went from prioritizing logistics around exams, meetings, and educational programs to pausing to support each other. Strengthening our community relationships amidst chaos was a haven and a true priority. Lesson number one: empathy strengthens community. Every minute brought a new challenge but with it, in unison, we frequently heard “How can I help?” In less than 48 hours, students and educators came together and orchestrated the most meaningful graduation ceremony we have ever had. Keep in mind, this event usually takes months to plan! It was powerful to see the willingness and involvement of the community coming together to celebrate what was the last massive event at UWC Costa Rica. Lesson number two: we are stronger together. Amidst all the chaos that comes with any last-minute decision (not to mention the inherited unknown challenges of an evolving global pandemic), resource allocation became key. We centered our decision-making process based on equity and access while keeping in mind that every decision had impact. We made decisions based on people, not budgets. This statement was rewarded by tremendous support from dozens of donors who appreciated that we put our students first. Lesson number three: put your values first and let them guide you through a crisis. As the only UWC in Latin America and the Caribbean, we “tropicalized” who we were in everything we did. We built upon Costa Rica’s reputation for warm hospitality, compassion, and honest communication. We stayed focused on providing our community with an educational experience grounded on a holistic wellness model that cares for the mind and the heart of every individual. This translated into lively virtual events such as bonding times, radio shows and wellness check-ins. We made sure we used a warm tone in formal messages. This allowed a demonstration of empathy and compassion while acknowledging feelings and being transparent even when it was bad news. Lesson number four: find and own your authentic tropicalized self. Lesson five: remember there is power in vulnerability. Which brings us to today! We are starting a new school year, excited to see our campus bursting with life and laughter from our 194 students from 62 countries. The pandemic continues, and life goes on. At UWC Costa Rica we will continue to adapt to current circumstances, rely on our collective resilience, and continue to grow and learn because we trust that we are better together—as a community. We are also excited to continue adding more positive lessons to our toolbox! To learn more about us visit https://www.uwccostarica.org/ways-to-support/giving.

  • Every Day A Gift

    Sounds like a platitude, right? Trust me, it’s not. Read Senator Tammy Duckworth’s memoir of the same title and you will be awestruck by the courage, tenacity, and unbelievable resilience of this amazing woman. I normally would not write a blog post about a book, but this is not something that can be highlighted in a simple review. I stepped into her life and learned about challenge of being biracial, the desperate search for food amid poverty, and the grit to rise above circumstances. My heart raced as I followed her determination to be the best soldier and fly Black Hawk helicopters in the Middle East. I cried in horror when she and her crew were shot down and she totally lost one leg, the majority of the other and suffered a mangled arm. I became angry at a senseless war and how Walter Reed Hospital was not prepared for the steady influx of critically wounded soldiers. I was disgusted at the steady parade of politicians who came to Walter Reed for photo ops and had NO idea about what it means to be soldier. I cheered Senator Dick Durbin’s tenacity to help Tammy and influence her to move beyond a harrowing 13-month recovery into another form of serving our country. I totally concur with the words of Admiral William H. McRaven, (U.S. Navy Ret.) This book is “raw, unfiltered, powerful—a compelling story of courage and determination against overwhelming odds… a true warrior who overcame a difficult upbringing, a glass ceiling, and a horrific helicopter shoot-down to become one of the most respected senators on Capitol Hill.” Read her story. Weep. Then leave with a deeper understanding of resiliency and truth to power.

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