With Spring in the air, the sounds of bird songs fill my backyard. Joyous trilling, clear whistles, and unidentified melodies. Yet try as I might, I can’t find the makers of these incredible notes. I can hear and see the raucous cackling of jet-black ravens and crows. Like midnight bandits, these birds have managed to scare away and /or kill 3 nesting doves. They frighten my cobalt blue Western Bluebirds. Yet, my singers of songs remain hidden. Until yesterday. Perched on the branch of a tree yet to sprout in greenery. I spotted the tiny musician. Maybe three inches in all. Watch its throat. Listen to the glorious music. And here is the lesson: “It’s not the size of the bird in the song. It’s the size of the song in the bird.” That’s encouragement for all !!!

Out of nowhere I received an email about the benefits of being kind. Hey, why not? The recent reduction of generously extending consideration, compassion, and charity inspire me to find the notion of Random Acts of Kindness intriguing. There’s something compelling about giving to others without any request, expectation, or promise of anything in return. Contained in the email were benefits of kindness: Can increase the feeling of strength & energy. Generates endorphins, the body's natural pain killer. Can become less depressed Can make one feel calmer It has been shown that people that are more kind have 23% less cortisol (the stress hormone) and age slower than the average population. Offering kindness makes a difference to the giver and everyone who receives. Perhaps today we can begin or continue a habit of expanding humanity in our everyday moments, starting with easy things like: Find opportunities to compliment someone you encounter today. Hold the door open for someone Clean out your house and make a donation to your local charity Allow someone to merge into traffic Take out the garbage for an elderly neighbor (from Eileen- sweep up the broken glass on a roadway that some not-so-kind-person left) As I practice, I suspect extending kindness will become easier over time and am convinced it will benefit the giver, perhaps more than the receiver. Thanks, Marilynn for your kindness in letting me share this. To reach Marilynn and subscribe to her Wednesday Wisdom, visit http://www.thesuccessstudio.com/bamboo.html or http://www.marilynnsemonick.com

Self-care has always been important, but discussions about it have risen in the past few months — and it’s time you get in the loop. Most of us had to adjust to a remote work setup since the COVID-19 restrictions were implemented. Though this setup helps keep many of us safe from the virus, it has caused negative effects on the well-being of workers. In fact, 69% of employees have reported that they experienced burnout symptoms since they started working from home. The remote work setup can definitely be difficult, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic when we’re forced to isolate ourselves from everyone. Since workers have no choice but to stay at home, the boundaries between their home life and work life have become blurry. A lot of individuals cannot identify their home as a place of relaxation anymore. Instead, they have associated it as a workplace where they have to be on work mode non-stop. Furthermore, workers cannot even relax by going on a vacation because of the restrictions. Alarmingly, stress and burnout can have a huge impact on one’s work and personal life. These can decrease productivity and cause high absenteeism. When it comes to one’s physical and mental health, however, burnout can cause even more alarming effects. Burnout may cause physical conditions, like high blood pressure and heart diseases. It can also lead to serious mental conditions, such as anxiety and depression. All these alarming consequences can be prevented if you dedicate time and effort to take care of yourself. You must be equally dedicated to your career and your personal well-being to be able to achieve success as a remote worker. Finding the right balance in your life can help you improve your health as well as your career all from the comforts of your own home! And thankfully, doing so is quite possible. Take care of yourself by practicing the following tips. Do activities that can bring joy You can practice self-care by making time for activities that boost your mood. For instance, meditation is an activity that has been proven to decrease stress. You can do this for free by listening to guided meditations on apps or on YouTube. Exercise is another great activity that will improve both your mood and your physical health. However, self-care can also be as simple as watching your favorite TV show or dancing to some good music. Improve your work space It’s best to delegate a certain area in your home as your work space. This will set clear physical boundaries between your work and your personal life. Try to choose a location that is far from your TV or your bed so that you won’t be easily distracted. Furthermore, it’s important to invest in things that can make your working from home experience much more comfortable for your body. A good chair can provide support for your back so you won’t experience any back pain from sitting all day long. Meanwhile, ergonomic accessories can also provide further support to your joints and help you avoid common hazards like carpal tunnel syndrome. You can also bring in a pop of color and a bit more life into your work space by adding indoor plants, such as rubber trees and snake plants. Find ways to socialize It's easy to feel isolated when we've had to hunker down at home, which is why it’s important to reach out to your family, friends, and co-workers virtually. Make work meetings more fun by playing a few short games after your discussions. Bond with your family by video chatting more often. Furthermore, you can even interact with your friends and family online by playing video games, which can provide social, emotional, and cognitive benefits. There are also a lot of apps that can allow you and your friends to stream a movie together, like Teleparty. Self-care is a great practice that will remind you of the importance of your health and well-being. Make self-care a priority, so you can experience benefits in every aspect of your life.

Last week, the Boys & Girls Clubs of Central Orange Coast had a virtual fundraiser. The importance of these after-school locations with mentors, computer access, and community-building can’t be overstated. I was honored to have a great conversation with CEO Robert Santana about my books on resilience and the impact on communities. Enjoy!

"With fingers crossed, it seems that employment levels are beginning to shift. Companies are starting to hire again. This guest post might prove helpful in evaluating candidates." – Eileen McDargh Imagine a scenario where you have hired an employee . The employee's qualifications seem great on paper, but then in 2020, after the COVID19 pandemic hit, they're unable to cope with the setback that it caused them. That's where career resilience comes in. It's the ability to overcome barriers and adapt to change or look for solutions to problems when they arise, all with a positive outlook. It's important to assess emotional intelligence traits like career resilience when you hire a candidate for any position; otherwise, despite their outstanding qualifications and impressive skills, they might not be able to cope with a high-pressure work environment. Here’s what hiring managers can find in recruiting resilient employees: Resilient employees remain focused and motivated to achieve their career goals, even when things are difficult. They can spot patterns under challenging situations, understand how they work, and turn them into opportunities. They don't let past bad experiences get in the way of their future goals. They are ready to keep upgrading their skills and learn more if and when the job demands. Here are essential attributes of career resilience that should be considered when hiring a potential recruit for a job: 1. The potential recruit has an optimistic outlook Optimists view the glass half full, and cynics view the glass half empty. But that's not all that separates optimists from pessimists. When confronted with a problematic situation, cynics might feel overwhelmed, helpless, and not understand how they would overcome an obstacle. That's when an optimistic outlook helps you focus on finding a solution for the problem and not just ruminate on how bad things are around you. This trait will help a potential recruit cope with new unforeseen challenges at work in the future. 2. The potential recruit is ready to learn new skills even if they seem difficult The way we typically work went through a significant change in 2020 because of the COVID19 pandemic. Employees had to adapt, innovate, upgrade their skill set when they started working from home. To deal effectively with this change, it is essential to learn a new skill set for dealing with new challenges. Career resilience can be seen when professionals can learn new skills or upgrade and improve their existing ones. When you possess a unique skill set, your perspective changes, and you spot connections that you have never noticed before. 3. The potential recruit looks at the big picture The potential recruit must have a vision for what their plan for their future is and how their career goals align with those of the organization. They must have a vision of how they want their whole life to look like and how they're going to grow their career and cope with obstacles if they come in the way. 4. The potential recruit must have patience It's easy to get frustrated when there's no solution to a problem at work, and it's easier just to shrug your shoulders and give up. It's essential to have patience and not give up on trying to develop solutions for a problem. There are a few bad eggs in every organization. It's also essential for employees to have the patience to deal with unpleasant coworkers or bad clients and try to think of a workaround of working with them instead of giving up. 5. The potential recruit wants to improve themselves constantly The ability to adapt and mold oneself in the face of change also prevents people from being stuck in difficult situations. Unless the employee is okay with understanding and evaluating how they're dealing with problems and trying to identify and change unhelpful thought patterns that don't help them then they won't be able to cope with a high-pressure job. 6. The potential recruit helps out colleagues and has strong relationships with them While it is great that your potential recruit is ambitious and really works hard at their job, they must be a team player as well. It is important to be aware of their past relationships with colleagues in previous organizations they have worked with. Did they have a good working relationship with their colleagues? Were they okay in helping their colleagues out when they were stuck? This shows if the employee can work in a team — without stepping on anyone's toes. An ability to help people around you also shows a sign of security, empathy and confidence in one's skills. No matter what skills and qualifications a potential employee might bring to the table, they will not be able to succeed unless they're resilient and show high emotional intelligence so that they can deal with pressure. About Kelly Barcelos Kelly Barcelos is a progressive digital marketing manager for Jobsoid – Applicant Tracking System. She is responsible for leading the content and social media teams at work. Her expertise and experience in the field of HR enable her to create value-driven content for her readers – both on Jobsoid’s blog and other guest blogs where she publishes content regularly.

How can you talk about resilience without also talking about optimism?” Great question and a valid point. Except for one thing. Reality. According to Ronald Siegel, an assistant professor of psychology, part-time, at Harvard Medical School and medical editor of the Harvard Special Health Report, Positive Psychology, assuming either an optimistic or pessimistic view of a situation is to ignore reality. For example, Covid-19 is real and one would be foolhardy to either think you are going to get it and die or that you will never get it and so can ignore all precautions. I prefer to focus on intelligent optimism. To begin with, consider all options that are available to you: Where is your point of control? Resilient people find multiple ways of responding to a situation. You might not like all the options, but you DO have them. If you feel stuck, ask a friend to help you brainstorm as many options as possible. When have you faced a difficult situation in the past and you got through it? What helped you get through it? What internal strength and wisdom did you discover about yourself? It’s still there, inside you. Remember to live in the present moment. When your brain races to either the worse possible outcome or skips into a field of proverbial flowers like a cockeyed optimist, you’ve missed TODAY. The future doesn’t exist. What gives meaning to your life? When you lose your WHY, you lose your way. Clarity about WHY you are on this earth offers an anchor for whatever happens around you. If you can’t figure out your WHY, your purpose, I can help. I can take you through a process to help identify that WHY. Send me an e-mail eileen@eileenmcdargh.com and we’ll talk.

Imagine if you could create a top-10 list of practical, actionable ideas to help you and your team grow resilience. Your wait is over: read these and share widely. I’d love to hear your reaction! Tip #10: Stop re-arranging the deck chairs. The greatest problem with change is that no one wants to admit that it can happen to them. Be honest about potential downturns and get ready. Don’t create the doomsday, hand-wringing scenarios but ones that are well thought-out with a plan of action in your back pocket. Contingency is the name of the game. It’s rather like a fire drill. If you don’t have a plan, you can burn up! Tip #9: Go with what “brung ya.” My great-grandfather always said that what he knew was “shoes”. He didn’t know how to publish books, how to sell pigs feet, or how to make a car. He stuck to what he knew: shoes. Since 1880, Reineberg’s Shoe Store has served the folks of York, PA. In an era where companies come and go, my family has stuck to what they know: shoes! It’s a simple testament to focus, to listening to the customers, to not speculating about acquisitions and mergers that make no sense from a resident knowledge base. Build your core and play to win from that strength. Tip #8: Stop reading and listening to “the news”. A steady dose of downturns, depressing statistics, gloomy forecasts, and shrill broadcasters can have anyone running for cover. Beside, it’s a waste of productive time to constantly be checking stock prices. Find one trusted source, listen or read it once, and then—GET ON WITH IT! What will you chose to do now to advance today? So much of resiliency is a mental trip—a mindset that says “Yes I can” regardless of all the “No you can’t” pundits. Positive presumption has moved football teams and armies. It can move you. Tip #7: Fire up. Don’t flame out. Exhausted teams can’t carry a ball, a race, or an Olympic flag. Make sure that what you ask yourself and your team to do has clear implication for the future—and not just some exercise in futility that is done “because it’s the way we’ve always done it.” This is a great time to streamline, to examine procedures, to throw out and to straighten up. Fire people up with possibilities and stories of hope. Can you make a vision real? Meaningful? Everyone needs that picture. No one hops out of bed to give shareholders a greater return on their investment. As Seth Godin writes, “Can you imagine Apple founder Steve Job showing up for a paycheck?” Not a chance. He showed up for something he believes in. Tip #6 Court and carry your valued customers. It is far too easy to lose valued customers if price and financial returns are the only basis for building a long-term relationship. Protect your customers now by asking what you can do to help them. Maybe they can’t buy your product or services now—but you might be able to offer something else. Or maybe, throw in a lagniappe—a little bit more. Tip #5 Communicate without ceasing. In the absence of information, people often connect the dots in the most pathological way possible. Transparency and honesty are keys in keeping people connected and calm. How much better it is to know what we face together and what is being done than to guess and gossip about situations. Tip #4 Celebrate small wins. When times are tough, we need a daily dose of encouragement. What would happen if you ended each day on a positive note? What would happen if you closed by mentally congratulating yourself on what you did do? Tip #3: Do what others are not willing to do. Look for innovation. Train employees. Yes, spend money. Wisely. That’s what your competition is not doing. If you focus on quality instead of cutting corners, you will be poised to come out on top. Let any pain be felt from the top first. Too many organizations and government agencies solve budget deficits by going after “the little guys” first. Big mistake. Remember when Chrysler CEO Iacocca took $1 in salary? Employee and customer admiration and loyalty resulted. Tip #2: Upsize your way to greatness. This is definitely what few will do. But cutting into muscle and bone only makes the corporate body ill equipped to re-enter the business arena when the economy improves. While others must build back bench strength and start from scratch, you are ready because you have been training and hiring for this moment. Consider encouraging older employees to take half-time retirement so they can pass along knowledge to newer and younger employees. It might be the perfect time to upgrade your skills. Tip #1: Say thank you. Nothing attracts supporters like positive energy. When times are tough, staying positive seems like a hard battle. Gratitude is the key. The work conducted at the University of Pennsylvania by Dr. Martin Seligman underscores the value of expressing gratitude on a daily basis. Studies of character strength in tens of thousands of people across the U.S. have shown that feeling and practicing gratitude is the single strongest predictor of satisfaction with life. Find three people each day and tell them why you are grateful for them. Write down three “gratitudes” each night in a journal. You’ll sleep better. In the words of philosopher Howard Zinn, “To have hope one doesn’t need certainty, only possibility.” Here’s to the possibility of a transformed and brighter tomorrow. If you need support for getting through tough times read my book “Your Resiliency GPS: A Guide for Growing through Life".

Seeing the world in only one direction limits our options. I viewed the film The Reunited States and was so taken by the honesty and courage it portrayed, I wrote a review. This is the letter I received back from the film’s director: In the United States, we tell proud stories of getting it done by ourselves, on our own. But the truth is, we also need each other. We are stronger together. And last week's disaster in Texas brings that home. Millions of people lost power in the face of bitter cold. Many survived because neighbors opened their homes or shared food. A young woman in Austin helped her elderly neighbor, taking her to stay in a warm place. Churches and convention centers became warming centers. Imagine if every day we had the kind of connection with our family and neighbors that we had this week. That we have during every natural disaster, when the basic goodness of human beings re-emerges. What can we do to foster that awareness of connection in our lives? One powerful tool we can use is to watch The Reunited States and discuss what comes up with family and friends. We can extend that into a practice of engaging in conversations with folks who disagree with us. Here’s where you can find the film. But don’t take our word for it. Look at what the world is saying from our first week in release in the video below. We are honored and humbled to see the film connecting with the hearts of so many people. If you want to feel hopeful and inspired about the state of our country, we encourage you to watch the film with friends or family to recognize our own role in how we move forward together. And, if you do watch and are moved by the film, please review The Reunited States on Amazon. You'll help its message expand and reach more folks. Together we can change this country, one conversation at a time. Sincerely, Ben Director Ben Rekhi & The Reunited States Impact Team

Security rests in adaptability. Our current uncertain times can either freeze us from action, or create a space where we strengthen our ability to adapt. Remember, survival is based on "requisite variety". That's a fancy biological term that basically means the organism that has the greatest number of responses to a situation has the greater chance of surviving. Watts Wacker, a noted futurist, offers things we can do to gain more options for ourselves: Learn to be a better listener. You don't learn when you are talking. Read a trade magazine from a different industry. Find two things in every issue that relate to your business. Let your kids tutor you in a subject they know more about than you do. Volunteer, and see the world through a different window. Read what has stood the test of time—great books help reframe your thinking While I am not a noted futurist, I can add actions to provide you with more options: Examine your “current” situation from the eyes of someone else. It doesn’t have to be someone you know but rather someone you admire. How would Mother Teresa respond? How about Coach Lou Holtz? Maybe an author? In 30 words or less, state what is going on and ask a trusted colleague for their response. You can only respond to them by asking clarifying questions. You are not to argue. Your role is to listen and say, “thank you.” In deciding a response, what is the worst thing that can happen? The best thing? Now decide what action to take. Charles Darwin had it right when he said, “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”

When we are young, we feel that time is on our side. Not anymore. Our days are a blur of perceived demands from workplaces stretched beyond the leading edge to the bleeding edge, from technology that allows others to locate us even in the privacy of our cars and bathrooms, from children and aging parents who name us and claim us, and from our inability to find options for creating mind sets and actions that can give us a modicum of breathing space and control. We can all sing the chorus: “There’s too much to do and too little time.” We have created a commodity worth of the Stock Exchange: Time. We spend it, lose it, waste it, and manage it. We’re told to make time, use time, take time and, if we’ve had a run-in with the law, we might even “do” time. Time is the great equalizer, given in singular 24-hour chunks by the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon. No money can buy it, no power can hold it, no army can stop it. We need to concentrate on winning back our life -- snatching it away from the blur of to-do lists, technology, and work/life pressures. Four Truths The more I ponder time demands, I realize four truths: Truth 1: Simplicity isn’t simple. It’s an admirable, essential goal that most of us are working on. Simplicity takes time and requires an agreement from all those impacted by its requirements. We’ve been given day-to-day wisdom to follow in realizing the already-present abundance without adding to our closet, our bank account, our larder. Truth 2: The technology genie will not go back into the bottle. Once released, our challenge becomes to wisely choose when we access technology’s power. The seductiveness of thinking we are so important that people must find us any time, any place, for any matter is ego at its worst. Consider my experience with a man who brought his computer and cellular phone along on a four-day cruise. He was not present. He missed the experience. And, I think, he lost. Truth 3: Time management creates order and structure. It does not create present moment awareness. I’m not concerned with “managing time” as much as I am for discovering how to make better choices for what we put in these blocks called “time.” This is not about finding the latest time-saving devices. We all have a plethora of these. Too often, they’ve become excuses for letting us cram our life with longer to-do lists. We end up working harder and longer. What I want to have us consider is taking control, finding personal empowerment in our work, lives, lifestyles, and relationships. It’s about finding more life in our years and more years in our life. We do not have extra time, but we do have discretionary energy and creativity. And we can learn to be present in the moment. Truth 4: Being present takes practice. As children, we felt we had command of our day, at least until bedtime. Summers stretched into hide-aways, street games, lightening bug hunts, marshmallows over campfires, and inner tubes in pools. What would happen if we could capture, practice, and re-frame the present so that at the end of a day, a week, or year, we felt like we have lived life -- with it’s joys and sorrows -- in a manner of our choosing? Plenty. How to Get Started Here are two examples of what you can do to be here now: 1. Create a sacred space for regrouping. This could be your car, your bathroom, your backyard. When you enter this space, ban anything that distracts your attention from simply breathing and noticing your surroundings. 2. Try and discover something you have never seen or heard before. There will always be something. This is like any exercise. The regular practice will allow you to stop at any given moment and be in control, centered, and observant. Keep a journal, and joy a few words of some event, person, experience or observation that struck you as meaningful. This is part of being in the now. Being present means seeing with new eyes and looking beyond the obvious to that metaphorical magic which takes an event in time and earmarks it as a memory. By collecting these moments and capturing them in word or picture, at the end of a year, you’ll be amazed at how much you have won by being present. You have won back a portion of your life.

I recently discovered writing I did in my 2013 retreat journal. The words seem so appropriate now for these conflicted and challenging times. Here’s what I read: I write this as the sun slowly sets behind the Channel Islands that loom out from the Santa Barbara coast. From my desk on the second floor of this retreat center, I see the mountain behind me turn into deeper shades of gray green and black. Soon, an almost full moon will rise and create havoc with my star gazing from the bench in the ancient oak grove. So far… looks like nothing has changed but… For the first time in 13 years, I couldn’t take the 4-mile trek to the top of my mountain. Mountain lion sightings are posted and the warnings read “Don’t hike alone. No small dogs. No children. Carry rocks in your pockets.” Rocks? The climb is hard enough!! Go with someone? Never found anyone crazy enough to come with me. No children? Ummm—I might be an entrée size for the big cat. CHANGE of plans! It felt strange, uncomfortable, and somewhat silly to substitute power walks up winding roads for the hidden beauty of live oaks, creeks, and hardscrabble rocks. But there was an alternative. I saw plants I had never seen, smiled at folks I would never have encountered, and still felt reasonably justified in my exercise to sit the rest of the day and write. Now to current times. CHANGE. For most of us, we enter 2021 facing massive change. The routes we thought were safe for our investments have been severely compromised. Our jobs might have vanished or been reduced. Industries are shattered. We pin our hopes on a new Administration to lead us out of this horrid mess. Truth be told, unless we remember the Depression, we’re faced with a never-before-seen-scenario that feels uncomfortable, strange, and –if we let it—downright frightening. What do we do about this? Yes—WE. WE all hold some small piece of a solution. No one person is going to hold our hand and take us another route. We must find alternatives to what had become so routine. We must greet each other on the way and share whatever we’ve learned. We must stop dwelling on the past, on blame, on wistful thinking, on wayward mountain lions and instead focus on what CHANGE can be made. Won’t feel the same. Won’t look the same. But if we face CHANGE together, the walk into the future might astound us with amazing possibilities.

At a recent virtual meeting where I was one of three panelists, innovation expert and author of Invisible Solutions , Stephen Shapiro, challenged my notion. I suggested that the crazy world crafted by this pandemic might require us to pivot, to move out in other directions. Seemed logical since adaptability is a key to resilience. “Don’t pivot”, Stephen insisted, “divot”. I’m a horrid golfer. I’ve sent clods of earth called divots further than the golf ball. So the notion of going down into the proverbial ground made no sense to me. Until Stephen explained. “When we pivot, we move from what we know, what we offer in our work, and what clients and customers we serve. We might look for the next bright, shiny object. We move outwards instead of going deeper with our offering. Building longer term relationships and strengthening our body of knowledge makes more sense than changing course—unless our work is headed toward oblivion with new technology.” NOW I understood. It makes great sense from both a business and a relationship standpoint. In fact, I just signed up for a 36-hour intensive course on Interpersonal Neurobiology. I will be adding coaching/training modules that are critical to moving from burnout to breakthrough and building resilience. The training: Discover Your WHY . I will, however, insist that there is one core piece to keep in mind. If you still decide to pivot, remember to remain planted in what must never change: your values. OK. I’m off to practice my divots. PS: Beyond a blog post!!!! Let me create a virtual resilience presentation for you and your team. We can do a live virtual session or I can craft a pre-recorded session—customized to your audience!!! Time for all of us to refuel, recharge and reclaim what matters. We can play bigger in a world of possibilities for world of difference. Contact me to discuss at eileen@eileenmcdargh.com .