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Stop. Look. Listen. These three words are the driver’s mantra when coming to an unmarked railroad crossing. In our current upheaval of anger, pain, confusion, and fear, the admonishment to stop, look, and listen could keep us from hurling invectives and instead, begin seeking understanding. Words have the power to trigger instant emotions and behaviors. In fact, even incorrect words, delivered in a certain manner, can jump start us to respond in ways that would be different if only we had stopped and thought carefully about what was said. As a word merchant, I know that a simple word, given the right inflection and the right innuendo can stir up emotions. Claude Pepper, in a long-forgotten race for the Florida Senate, did just that in a rather uneducated part of the Sunshine State. He accused his opponent of practicing monogamy. He stated that his opponent’s sister was a known thespian in wicked New York City. Furthermore, his opponent was a devoted bibliophile. If you’re gasping in horror at these words - go use the dictionary. They are all positive words!!! But said with the right inflection, the voters recoiled at the thought of electing his opponent. More than ever, if we are going to begin to address serious issues that impact our communities and our country, we must stop, look and listen. To be proactive, stop and LOOK reflectively at what is really going on with the speaker. Reflect back what you “think” she is feeling and sensing. Then, shut up and listen. Until one feels heard and understood, the ability to address issues remains distant. Is listening time consuming? Yes. Is it something we do easily? No. Can it steer us to common ground? Absolutely. Until each of us truly listens to “the other”, those whose life’s experience are not ours, we’ll continue in turmoil. For most of us, myself included, reflective inquiry is not second nature. But I am determined to learn more and practice with my coaching clients, with my neighbors, and with my community. How about you? ,

Anyone in the audience when I have given my presentation, “Radical Resilience”, knows that I believe action is the antidote for anxiety. Sitting and stewing, muttering and watching storm clouds, or pacing back and forth does nothing. When we begin to take control over even the smallest part of our life, we begin to gain a sense of forward momentum. Consider these five tips—any of which can be started in small steps and increased as time and talent permit. (1) Pitch out what doesn’t add value. Lean is NOT mean. Start with a file drawer, a computer folder, a closet, and yes—even your contact list. Everything that we hold on to that is obsolete, not useful, out-dated takes up physical and emotional space. To let in the new, we’ve got the clear out the old. You might find—as I did—that cleaning up a data base brings “old” client to mind. We had lost touch. I reconnected and have now renewed friendships and/ or a client relationship. You might find great ideas that were not useful then but are very timely now. At the very least—the action of tossing away just lightens the load. (2) Spend wisely. Think of everything in terms of “what will this do for my customer”. From the annals of failed businesses, Circuit City fired all their seasoned, knowledgeable employees because they were more expensive than new employees. Too bad. Without trained staff to help customers, Circuit City now was just a store with stuff. Ordinary. Common. And now out of business. (3) Follow your values and offer value for what you give. If an action goes against what you value, in the long run the price you pay will be far too high. I am not right for every client. Accepting work for the money rather than for the match will hurt both of us. I know we all seek income now, but beware of the price you pay! (4) Talk to your team and your customers. Better still: LISTEN. Use whatever platform brings together folks: Slack, Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Skype, whatever. The biggest bang for the buck comes from human interaction. Don’t jump into “strategy”. First listen for how people are feeling. Support each other with ideas and yes—empathy. (5) Sullyize your workers. OK—I made up this word but perhaps it will catch on. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger was a masterful pilot who trained, and trained, and trained again. You don’t make that kind of landing, like he did in 2009, in a two-minute timeframe without having practiced, and trained. Yet—what do too many organizations do in these times? Cut training!! If you want employees to handle crises, you’ve got to train rigorously. And you can do it virtually! Let's talk if you and your organization need help dealing with burnout and building resiliency skills then I might be the right fit for your. Check out my Virtual Service Center and then give me a call at 949-496-8640.

Joe Robinson from Eachnight has offered to share an an article and infographic with The Energizer because sleep is a very important part of resiliency and it's not just about how many hours you get a night. It's more complicated so I'll let Joe explain. Wake-Up Call: Analyzing How People’s Wake-Up Methods Affect Their Lifestyle and Work Performance Every part of our sleep routine impacts our day. Sure, there are plenty of ways to ensure high-quality rest, but the methods we employ to wake up are equally as important. For workers, the value of a good night’s sleep is critical to tackling the work day ahead productively and with a clear mind. There are a multitude of tools to help us awaken and tackle the work day’s tasks, such as analog alarm clocks that incite nostalgia to sleep-tracking devices whose primary function is to regulate our sleep habits. Could there be massive differences in how effective these types of alarms are, though? Does one type of alarm produce a more rested and motivated person? You can read the rest of the article and view the infographic at Eachnight!

We all have a sphere of influence. From parent to teachers, from elected officials to hospital workers, from bus drivers to celebrities, from community organizers to stay-at-home moms—we are examples to others. People follow our lead, our example. We are all leaders in some fashion. But true leaders? That’s another issue. I created this True Leader Pledge almost four years ago because I realized that I can’t ask ANYONE to do something that I am not willing to do. Four years ago, we observed behavior from potential “leaders” which left us astounded, concerned, angry, and less-than-optimistic-but-hoping-for-the-better. Sadly, it’s deja-vu all over again. It has become far worse than we anticipated. So, here’s the deal. I believe each of us has the choice to pledge that OUR BEHAVIOR will model what true leadership looks like. If we commit to how we will act in our sphere of influence, we can then hold this pledge as a beacon to others. Remember the words of Holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel, “The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference.”

Welcome to Life 3.0 ! While all of us are or have been in a lockdown mode from Covid-19, we’re discovering (or rediscovering) parts of our life that we lost or never tried before. Whether it’s zooming your grandma or taking a longer look at kindness and wearing pajamas all day long, we’re uncovering a great resilience skill: reframing. Reframing is to look at what is in front of us and walk around it—getting a different perspective—seeing what is possible versus impossible. During this time away from the routine of work, I’m hearing from clients and colleagues that there are newer, happier and healthier habits they wish to keep whenever this current situation alters. Here are the top five habits that rise to the surface: • Staying in touch with family and friends who normally fall to the bottom of the “to do” list. • Slowing down and being present in the moment. • Getting at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep every day • Practicing gratitude. We don’t realize how much we truly have until extraneous goes away • Having special family time at meals and at least one night a week- NO cell phones allowed. Of course, I also would add daily exercise, learning something new, and meditating. What would be on your list of habits worth keeping? Write me. I’d love to know

Human language separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom but too often, we respond to the wag of a dog’s tail instead of the message given by the CEO. Here are four sure-fire ways to get a message across, remembered, and repeated. Use real language instead of ad copy. Ad copy might be punchy but it only seeks to invite the viewer or reader to seek more details. That is often not possible in our 24-7, get-it-down-now world. Martin Luther King’s speech would have vanished into history if he only said, “I have a dream”. Real language fleshes out both the intent and the possibilities of the sender. It is not filled with puffery and pompous language but rather words that allow people to SEE what the person is saying. He gave specific examples of what that dream would look likes such as slave owner and former slave breaking bread together. Use symbols instead of spread sheets. Number, P&Ls and statistics are fine but they are not remembered nor repeated. Instead, the use of symbols carries far greater impact. For example, one manager walked into a meeting and dumped on the table a pile of manufacturing parts. He said, “This is the crap that keeps breaking. How are we going to fix this?” You can imagine the look on the faces of his peers. In the amazing story of Ernest Shakleton’s Antarctic Expedition of 1914, when the ship was crushed by an expanding ice pack, Shakleton determined that rescue might be possible with a sledge march to the ocean. This could only happen if every nonessential item was discarded regardless of value or emotional attachment. Shakleton reached inside his parka and threw away gold sovereigns and a gold cigarette case. The symbolism was not lost on his crew. Use storytelling instead of telling. Facts tell and emotion sells. Stories capture our emotion more so that a straight recitation of facts.I was hired to create a report for a biotech company. The purpose of the report was to attract potential employees.Instead of talking about benefits and employment practices (although that was put in as an addendum), I interviewed employees about what they saw was the VALUE of their work. To hear someone relate what it felt like to meet the recipient of a heart valve or to listen to a parent talk about their child’s recovery because of a device delivered a powerful response. Use dialogue instead of a discussion. The word “dialogue” means “ through words.” Discussion has the same root as percussion which comes from the Latin: “to beat”. So let me ask you, which would you rather have: a dialogue or a discussion. Discussions are heavy, often imagined as one upsmanship with a winner at the end. A dialogue is exploratory, seeking to understand various viewpoints. Dialogue is a free-form give and take. When a leader sits in dialogue, the Biblical precept comes to mind: “Seek first to understand rather than be understood.” All of these usages take conscious practice. Unlike some so-called leaders we see today who shoot from the mouth and are perceived as screwing up their message,a true leader works diligently to craft communication that is clear and compelling. It is all in the intentional practice and commitment to behave as a true leader that real communication is achieved.

I hear it now: “Play!? You are nuts, Eileen. Don't you know how stressed we are with lockdowns, anxiety, and insecurity?” Got it. Even more reason to find an outlet for pent up emotions and a brain on overload. As we begin to come out of this COVID-19, we’re going to need to move into crafting our work and life in ways that reflect a new reality. Yes, it will take work. And that will require play! According to psychiatrist Stuart Brown in his book, Play: How It Shapes The Brain, Opens The Imagination And Invigorates The Soul, play is what will unleash creativity, calm anxiety, and allow us to focus on what matters most. To Brown, the opposite of work is not play - it’s depression! Brown has conducted more than 6,000 play studies on what goes wrong when people do not play—studying everything from serial killers to career-driven CEOs. Given the current plethora of economic turmoil, negative news, layoff paranoia and growing unemployment lines, the notion of taking time to play sounds like a childish daydream. But if Brown is right, we could become a nation of stress-filled, hypertensive individuals who suffer far more than we need to and—at the very extreme—become downright dangerous to ourselves and others. Brown is not original in his assertion. Anacharsis, a 6th BCE philosopher insisted that we are to, “Play so that you may be serious.” Even in the Hellenistic world, play gave rise to scientists, writers, philosophers, and builders of great civilizations. If you consider that the task before us is to rebuild our cities, our enterprises, and our global community, then play becomes the non-chemical stimulant for channeling stress into productive outputs. Play takes many forms. The trick is to find one that resonates with you. Consider these examples: Marc, a job-hunting, highly skilled communications expert in the entertainment field, would coach lacrosse when he was not interviewing. Although sidelined now because of the corona virus, he remains connected virtually with his team. In fact, he appears calmer and more confident since he started helping youngsters succeed in his favorite sport. Glenna, a recent widow and entrepreneur, has started dance lessons via You Tube and added Bible study to her spare time. Her laugh comes easier now and she’s discovering new ventures for her skill. Tom, faced with early retirement, collects Japanese postcards from the 1900s. Neil, the CEO of a consulting company, goes to an organic farm, wearing a mask, and helps his wife prepare scrumptious vegan meals. Eunice, a vice president in an international organization rides her Icelandic horse at every opportunity. And if you think about stress, recall how a president named Obama would unwind with a game of hoops. Never mind the score—just play. (It does make me wonder if we might have some different outcomes if President Trump knew how to really play.) Think of these examples and you’ll note that play is as much a state of mind as it is an activity. It is a mental release that reduces stress levels in the body and engages the brain in a totally different type of thinking. Take these three steps to enter the world of play: Give yourself permission to play. Put a play date with yourself on the calendar and treat it as sacred as the meeting with your most important client. Remind yourself that you’ll be refreshed and thinking more clearly if you play. Find the play that best suits you. Start a Play diary, writing down moments of well-being. It might be something that occurred during the week. It might be as simple as walking the dog or as complex as taking an eco-adventure tour. It might be a romantic night with your best beloved or a sweaty 10-mile bike ride.Whatever it is—in the doing, you feel a sense of contentment and joy. Pass play along. Encourage others. Make sure you’re not the driver who keeps employees chained to their virtual desks but rather, lead the way. If you’re in a position to do so, create a Fun Friday where everyone takes a turn at coming up with something that evokes joy, laughter, and contentment. Bring the team together via Zoom or another platform. And when you return to the real office, do what one organization did prior to the lockdown: It forbid e-mail on Fridays between anyone in the building. Instead, messages were sent via paper airplanes! Martin Buber, German Jewish biblical scholar believed that “play is the exultation of the possible.” Isn’t that what we all are looking for now—what is possible? Go play… so you might be serious. #play #pandemic

Four years ago, disaster enclosed 33 miners in a cave in Chile. It struck me that their 69 days of being unable to get out and not knowing their fate, might prove instructive for of us today. I’m hearing people complain about physical distancing, whine about an absence of group activities, decry the closing of movie theaters, and grouse about being bored. Perhaps we could take some hints from the miners about how to respond to our current situation. Perhaps we might also rejoice that we can see daylight, hear the birds, eat food every day, and visit with family and friends thru technology. In comparison, what we are being asked to do is not that hard! Resiliency Lessons From Chilean Mine Triumph A worldwide web of viewers watched 33 miners being pulled to the surface following a 600,000 ton cave-in that happened nearly one-half mile below the ground on a barren plain in southern Chile. Besides showcasing the tenacity of rescuers and the miracle of technology, the miners themselves offer dramatic lessons in resiliency that can teach everyone. Lesson one: Hope relies on possibility not certainty. Shift foreman Luis Urzua practiced intelligent optimism when he reframed the event and steadfastly refused to give up. He maintained his leadership position and convinced the miners to eat only every 48 hours for 17 days. Without optimism, it could have been anarchy in that dark hole. When the probe reached the men, Urzua’s note that came to the surface expressed that hope: “We are fine in the shelter, the 33 of us.” This is not a note of desperation but one of optimism. Lesson two: Action is the antidote to anxiety. The miners stayed busy, continually clearing away rubble, monitoring gas levels, praying, and using the materials and medicine that eventually were sent down the shafts. In short, they controlled what they could control. Lesson three: Play to your strengths. Reports indicate that different men served different roles. Victor Rojas kept a journal throughout the ordeal and became the writer who said updates to the rescuers. Yonni Rojas used his experience in nursing to serve as the chief paramedic. Mario Heredia and Jose Gonzalez became the spiritual leaders, with Mario even requesting that a crucifix be sent down so he could erect a shrine. Edison Villaroel led the group in song, requesting that Elvis Presley songs be sent down. Imagine Elvis the Pelvis gyrating more than a half-mile into the earth! Lesson four: Laughter lightens the load. Surely bringing a load of rocks to the surface as a memento for rescuers showed a sense of humor. Sing-alongs, as described by reporters, did not appear to be funeral dirges. Lesson five: Faith can move mountains. Many of these miners expressed a deep religious conviction through their Catholic faith. Faith, however, is not the sole property of one religious group. To have a sense of a power beyond one’s human limitations is to tap into a wellspring of confidence and courage. Lesson six: Don’t bounce back. Grow through. After 69 days, many of the miners expressed finding another side to themselves and their lives. Changed men rose from the earth, men who vowed to live differently. Whether marrying a long-time girl friend, finding new comfort in family, or advocating for changes in mining operations, each of the 33 now have the possibility for becoming better through this ordeal. So it is for all who face events that might seem as dark and crushing as what happened on a cold day in Copiapó, Chile. The lessons offered by 33 miners might spark a chord to help many discover personal resiliency. #resiliency #resilient

In the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, President Trump’s press conferences have been labeled tone-deaf and lacking empathy and clear direction. Generalized statements about incompetent governors and an understatement of the need for medical supplies has damaged his ability to take command of this crisis. Here’s why: a resilient leader’s communication must take into account the emotions and experiences of individual listeners. To lecture the citizens of New York with the same words as the citizens on Wyoming is to ignore the reality of differences between these two states. As of this writing, NYC alone has over 67,000 confirmed cases and more than 2600 deaths. Wyoming, although the least populated state in the nation, has not reported any deaths. Two very different states require two very different types of messages. It’s a lesson for anyone in a leadership role: without context, general communication is ripe for failure. Lest the reader thinks this is a political post, let me use another example from my backyard—literally: the sinking of The Pilgrim. The Pilgrim, a full-scale, 3-masted replica of the ship immortalized by R.H. Dana in his classic book, “Two Years Before the Mast"—started sinking on March 30, 2020 in the Dana Point Harbor. For over 21 years, literally more than 400,000 fourth and fifth graders had spent nights on the ship, as part of a living history program. The children were put into challenging roles, becoming mates on each cruise. Like sailors in the 1830s, they learned how to rig the ship, prepare meals, and row boats into the harbor to get hides. Discipline and obedience to the captain was foremost as everyone had to be on the same page to make the ship work. Beginning on March 30, crowds gathered around the listing vessel that had entered the harbor in 1981, destined to become the largest classroom for the Ocean Institute. For the next few days, I’d walk down to the harbor and listen to adults sadly remember their adventures aboard this ship. Others recalled how the Pilgrim was always the centerpiece on the annual Tall Ships Festival. A sadness permeated the crowds. Now, cost and the vessel’s age destine it to the graveyard of ships that can’t be repaired or salvaged. This was all front-page news in the Orange County Register. Nothing appeared that day in the LA TIMES. The reason: what is heart-breaking news for residents of Orange County is not critical news for resident of Los Angeles—and rightfully so. Now more than ever, managers need to heed close attention to the individual concerns of team members. The anxiety of an employee who is a single mother with two children will be different than the anxiety of an older employee who is a few years’ short of retirement. Every situation is different. It requires exquisite listening—not only with the ears but also with the heart. Challenging times to be sure. The astute and resilient manager will carefully consider these questions first: What do I know about this person and how COVID-19 might be impacting his life? What does this person need from me in the way of support (over and beyond a paycheck—which might not be possible at this time)? When this crisis is over, what would I like this employee to say about how I/we handled it? In times of crisis, a sense of community, compassion and commitment will go a long way for helping us all deal with loss. Now—the ball is in your court. Let me know how I might help you. #management #leadership

With much of the world heeding the call for working from home and remaining physically distant, I am encouraging clients to use this space for GROWING through these challenging times. Since resiliency is about energy management, what are some creative outlets that light a spark and become sources of learning as well as joy? The answer for many: writing! In fact, it’s not just journal writing but writing to also publish! I asked my wonderful assistant to put together some things to consider if writing and publishing are on your stay-at-home list: Top Five Things You Need To Know About Self-Publishing Authors often cringe when I ask them if they want to self-publish. Many still think this type of publishing is for vanity projects and they worry that self-publishing will make them look unprofessional. Not to worry, the self-publishing world has changed for the better thanks to Amazon.com. Self-published books can become best sellers but it takes the right combination of hard work and luck. Let’s get to the top five things you need to know about self-publishing: Self-publishing is not for the feint of heart. You need to be organized, decisive and open to constructive criticism. If you lack any of these qualities you can hire someone to manage the project for you but you need to listen to them. You have more control. Working with a traditional publisher means a loss of control. You will have rigid deadlines, little input into layout or cover art and you most certainly will still have to handle the marketing yourself. You must have the time and the energy to work on your book project even if you hire someone to help. The final decisions will always come down to you so you need the time to research, reflect and make the final choices. Self-publishing is not cheap. If you want your book to sell you need to invest in it. It’s really easy to go with the less expensive options but you must have an excellent editor, a talented layout artist and a real, experienced book cover designer. If you don’t have the cash don’t self-publish. Start your project early. Don’t wait until the last minute to publish a book with a deadline you can’t possibly meet. You need to build your author platform on social media and grow your e-mail list. All of this should be done at least six months in advance. Some of the ingredients in successful self-publishing is knowing your audience, writing a book they want to buy, having a suitable budget, assembling the right team and enough time to start marketing the book before you have finished writing it! About the author: Bonnie Jo Davis is a Virtual Assistant who loves to work with authors. She has worked with authors, speakers, book agents and publishers in the past twenty-five years. She offers everything from proofreading manuscripts to creating e-books to content management and marketing and public relations. You can find her at bonnie@davisvirtualassistance.com or http://www.DavisVirtualAssistance.com. #Covid-19 #publishing #writingabook

During these dark days, every smile or tender gesture you can inspire is more meaningful than ever. Many of us work hard to be strong and committed to surviving but sometimes we forget that we need to help others build their resiliency skills. I hope the inspiring stories below will help you find a way to light up someone’s day. In a nearby town, a local poet called the Sidewalk Poet is writing poems on popular sidewalks. The verses are inspiring, thoughtful and smile-inducing. The city’s Facebook group is filled with pictures of the poems and everyone talks about how much fun they have searching for new poems. A few lucky people have even caught the poet creating the sidewalk poetry! Of course, staying 6 plus feet away from each other. A professor for a university moved all her classes online and her students are very stressed right now. Today was the first online class. The professor wore a dinosaur costume the entire time. Students laughed and thanked the professor for bringing some fun into an otherwise dark time. Those students will never forget this kind and joyous gesture. The Gavrieli company produces ballet flats called Tieks and they have a very large private Facebook group of customers who are passionate about the shoes. The Tieks staff started a movement called the #SewTOGETHER that includes gift cards for those who make face masks for doctors and nurses. Over 350,000 masks have already been sewn and donated to more than 1,500 medical facilities in all 50 states through this challenge and pictures of the masks in the group lightens everyone’s spirits. As an essential business in most parts of the United States, animal shelters have to remain open. People are concerned that staff and volunteers take a risk every time they leave home. To combat this, someone at a shelter puts out a call for people to sign-up as foster families. This gets the animals into homes where they can be cared for and socialized during this difficult time. Some shelters are reporting that the new foster families have emptied the shelter for the first time since they opened. Both the foster families and the staff and volunteers have benefited from this compassionate gesture. I’d love to know what small gestures you are making. Or, what gestures have brought a smile to your face? #Pandemic #Joy #Happiness

50 years ago today, April 22, the U.S. celebrated the first Earth Day. The enormous response of some 20 million citizens led to unprecedented change. Congress enacted the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act, and the Endangered Species Act. Republican President Richard Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency. Earth Day became a pledge to craft a resilient natural world. Today, the clean air and water acts have been decimated in favor of high-profile industries. The EPA has become known as the Environmental Destruction Agency with scientists shuffled to the side and decisions made on political grounds. Today, the world faces the Covid-19 pandemic that is racing across the globe without heed to nation or demographics. The warnings were there but… Climate change has prompted Arctic sea ice to melt at speeds unimagined and has disappeared in areas larger than Norway, Sweden and Denmark combined. Drought and floods, endangered rivers and useless farmland spread across the planet. The warnings are there but… But today, I believe enough of us across the globe are speaking out, listening, heeding science, and demanding the same kind of action that occurred 50 years ago. I have hope on both fronts as I see scientists and medical researchers working together across national boundaries to understand the corona virus and develop a vaccine. I see a 17 year-old activist, Greta Thunberg, address the UN and the World Economic Forum, holding “grown-ups” feet to the fire. While dismissed by politicians, a stronger and more vocal generation rises in support. Here’s another reason I have hope. We’re seeing the results of what happens when we forego driving everywhere and use this “shelter-in-place” time to watch the world around us. My New York friends marvel at how blue the sky is. National parks are seeing the return of wildlife. Western bluebirds are flocking to my feeder and neighbors are singing to each other from front yards. We are alone—together. I’ve participated in a number of salutes and gratitude gatherings for first responders and medical staff. I see more outreach to the lonely, the hungry, and the un-sheltered as never before. Could it be that FINALLY we understand that this earth is OUR home and we ARE one family? Sure there are plenty of deniers and those who would seek only their own financial gain and political leverage. But I believe that enough of us—if we pay attention and act—can move from the crises of NOW into a better world tomorrow. Now that’s resiliency! #EarthDay #ClimateCrisis