Make no mistake, COVID-19 is very serious and requires precautions, attention, and vigilance. However, fear and panic run counter to what will help us move through this global threat. Stockpiling toilet paper and water, incessant reading and watching multiple news sources, and staying caught up on social media only serves to underscore the feeling of panic. It reminds me of the time my husband insisted I become licensed to carry mace when I’d walk thru campus at night. There had never been an incident and I walked fearless; until I started carrying the mace. Then, every shadow, noise, or movement struck terror in my heart. In short, my brain now imagined all sorts of horrors. I was no longer able to rationally and literally move forward. Resilience lesson #1: Stop living in the projected future that envisions the worst. Imagined fear paralyzes us. Follow the recommended guidelines for logical preparation and personal care and hygiene. Then, stop. Live in today. Now. It’s the only place of power you have. Resilience lesson #2: Stop feeding your brain with too much information. Find two news outlets (one national and one local) that you trust and let the others go. You do not need to know everything. Be a smart consumer of information. If you are brave, don’t watch television news. Remember that the 24-hour news stations have to fill up the air and pundits pontificate! Let it go. Resilience lesson #3: Action is the antidote for anxiety. Put yourself in gear first. Take a walk outside. Go for a run. Exercise in whatever way gets your heart moving from exertion and not from fear. Try yoga. You can find basic yoga online. Meditation is also an action. Do it first thing in the morning. Insight Timer is a meditation app I use. I sit for 20 minutes while I listen to the sound of the ocean before I get into the day. Resilience lesson #4: See non-work time as a gift. In our 24-7 always-on world, this time-out even if forced upon us can be reframed as an opportunity to do things we never seem to find time for in our hurried lives. When was the last time your family played games and did a jigsaw puzzle together? What about the books you’ve wanted to read, the painting you’d like to do? I’m going to watch YouTube and learn how to refinish my desk. It’s how my granddaughter taught herself to play the ukulele. Growing and learning are positive steps with the gift of time. Resilience lesson #5: Think and act for others. Because action is the antidote for anxiety, consider how you might help others who are more impacted by the virus than you. Right now, parents might not have child care for children sent home from school. Offer your services to help. Nurses and doctors and medical personnel may have their lives in danger. Offer to make a meal and leave it at their door. And speaking of food, sadly numerous children depended upon a hot meal at school as their best (and maybe) only meal of the day. Find out how you might volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen. And call people who have been forced into lock down. My dear 90 year-old friend just had her birthday party canceled as no one can go in (or out) of the facility. I’ll be making more regular phone calls to check in and chat. You get the idea. Resilience lesson #6: Be gentle with yourself. It’s ok to worry and feel bad as long as you name the worry and what you can do if anything about it. Is it a rational fear or a product of an overly-active imagination? Help your children understand and validate their fears while teaching them the power of positive perceptions. Remember, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was right when he proclaimed, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” We can do as the British WWII poster insisted, “Keep Calm and Carry on.” Resiliency Resource If you are overwhelmed with the difficulties of life and career then this book was written for you because resiliency is the key to a productive, happy life. Your Resiliency GPS is available in paperback and Kindle at https://www.amazon.com/Your-Resiliency-GPS-Growing-through/dp/0962319058/. #pandemic #resilience #resiliency

There’s a wonderful Stephen Sondheim song, Anyone Can Whistle. It’s the title song from a musical of the same name. The words talk about how the singer can do difficult things—like read Greek, dance the tango, and slay a dragon. However, what is so simple for others is really hard for her: like whistling.The singer has to admit she needs help. Time to fess up. This is where I have been for the last 10 days. After driving my car for 15 years and finally having to admit it was dying, I bought a new car.Getting into the driver’s seat of a Kia Hybrid Niro has sent me back to “kindergarten”. Who would imagine that technology would change so much. I no longer need to insert a key. Just push on the brake pedal and hit a button. It is so quiet that on two occasions, I left it running because I didn’t even know it was on! The manual has QRC codes that when scanned, send me to a video site for an explanation of whatever computer screen I am seeing. Bless Jose Ramirez at Kia in San Juan Capistrano. I went back today for my third “lesson” as to what the different bells, whistles, lights, and adjustments mean. He is the soul of patience as he hefts his rather large body into the passenger seat of my much smaller car. Together we look at the manual and today—a miracle: I discovered that plugging my iPhone into the cars USB drive resulted in a screen that let me play music, see and hear maps, and make phone calls.It’s a miracle!!! I can see some of my readers shaking their heads and muttering, “that poor woman. She’s been living under a rock.” However, perhaps some of you might be remembering some other instances where you needed help with something that everyone else found so easy. The hard part is asking for help. Resiliency—growing through challenge or the opportunity of learning a new car’s mechanisms—might often require swallowing pride and admitting that you are clueless—or at least befuddled by what others seem to find a breeze. Asking is important. And so is patience.Together we can get through this! PS: On rare occasions, I actually sing the song in a keynote. Music is often more powerful than straight verbalization's!

Everyone expects something from you. Your boss wants that project on his desk on Friday. Your husband wants you to pick up the dry cleaning. Your son needs his new pants hemmed before the class picture is taken. You try to cope by taking work home, fitting in a stop at the dry cleaners in between the grocery store and the gas station. You stay up until midnight and then hem those pants before falling into bed only to lay awake worrying about what you left undone. Instead of trying to do it all find out what really needs to be done now and what can be done later or by someone else. For example, maybe your boss only needs part of the project done on Friday and you don't need to take work home. Always ask for clarification when given a deadline. Find out if a project can be delivered in pieces. Drop off your son's new pants at the dry cleaners right after work and pay them extra to do the hemming while you are at the grocery store and the gas station. Go back to the dry cleaners to pick up the pants and the dry cleaning. Better yet, ask for help. Ask your spouse to take on some of the errands or hire someone to do it for you. Have the house cleaned twice a month by a maid service. Say no whenever possible and ask for help as much as you can.

The old English teacher in me LOVES active verbs like “cracking”. It implies that one doesn’t suddenly “crack” the code and voila, the genie flies out of the bottle or the stone rolls away from the treasure. Rather, “cracking” demands constant work: revising, seeking, learning and practicing. And a CODE, as any mystery student knows, means looking for clues in unique places. Move past the first dictionary definition of “leader” and you encounter deeper insights into the different roles that a leader can play. For example, the next definition is that a leader is the conductor of an orchestra. A great conductor knows the players, knows what instruments they play, and can figure out how to pull that orchestra together so the musicians have the same sheet of music and know when it is their turn to take the lead or to play harmony. How great a conductor can you be? Another definition is that a leader is the foremost animal that is harnessed in a team. Don’t we want our leader to be harnessed with us? In the olden days of battle, the leader was the one who took the charge and headed into battle. He didn’t sit back barking orders and drinking brandy and tweeting out comments. But how often do we see people who have the title of “leader” but they let everyone else fight the battles? Can you start cracking the code by taking the lead and/or the “heat” A leader is also defined as a duct for conveying warm air from a furnace. Don’t we want a leader who conveys the warmth of caring. Employees want to know that a leader cares for them, just like the duct that carries warmth. A leader is also an economic indicator. A leader better be in command and know what the economic viability of the enterprise or the project is. Another definition that intrigues me (probably because my husband is a fisherman) is that a leader is a short length of gut or wire by which a hook is attached to a fishing line. And in days gone by, a leader was the blank piece of tape that wound around in an audio cassette until you got to the music! Here’s the correlation: Take the notion of a piece of wire attached to a hook. A fishing leader strengthens the connection between the hook and the rest of the line. Aren’t there times when a leader’s presence helps solidify the relationship between the customer and the product. Certainly, you want the customer or client to be “hooked” into using the product or service. Or at other times, the leader paves the way—just like a leader on an audio cassette tape—for the full presentation to begin. Cracking the code requires being fully present to what the team needs right now. Resilient leaders are adaptable, capable of understanding there are many ways to influence a team. Learning to use these seven different definitions can indeed release a genie of good fortune and an unmatched treasure of purpose, productivity and profit.

Anyone in the audience when I have given my presentation, “Radical Resilience”, knows that I believe action is the antidote for anxiety. Sitting and stewing, muttering and watching storm clouds, or pacing back and forth does nothing. When we begin to take control over even the smallest part of our life, we begin to gain a sense of forward momentum. Consider these five tips—any of which can be started in small steps and increased as time and talent permit. (1) Pitch out what doesn’t add value. Lean is NOT mean. Start with a file drawer, a computer folder, a closet, and yes—even your contact list. Everything that we hold on to that is obsolete, not useful, out-dated takes up physical and emotional space. To let in the new, we’ve got the clear out the old. You might find—as I did—that cleaning up a data base brings “old” client to mind. We had lost touch. I reconnected and have now renewed friendships and/ or a client relationship. You might find great ideas that were not useful then but are very timely now. At the very least—the action of tossing away just lightens the load. (2) Spend wisely. Think of everything in terms of “what will this do for my customer”. Circuit City fired all their seasoned, knowledgeable employees because they were more expensive than new employees. Too bad. Without trained staff to help customers, Circuit City now was just a store with stuff. Ordinary. Common. And now out of business. (3) Follow your values and offer value for what you give. If an action goes against what you value, in the long run the price you pay will be far too high. I am not right for every client. Accepting work for the money rather than for the match will hurt both of us. (4) Talk to your team and your customers. Better still: LISTEN. This is not the same as e-mail. Pick up the phone. Better still, meet face-to-face. Rally troops real time. We don’t feel the human support from a screen or a text message. Ideas can come from anywhere and anyone. (5) Sullyize your workers. OK—I made up this word but perhaps it will catch on. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger was a masterful pilot who trained, and trained, and trained again. You don’t make that kind of landing in a two-minute timeframe without having practiced, and trained. Yet—what do too many organizations do in these times? Cut training!! If you want employees to handle crises, you’ve got to train rigorously. Think customer service skills, leadership skills. clear communication skills. Responses can be second nature if training is diligent.

I must admit - when I first read Jeb’s article I had to suspend my judgement until I got further along in his piece. And then I understood the merits. Too often, I’ve been “the nice guy” and ended up feeling taken advantage of and the relationship goes south. Be patient and read. Here’s the big take-away for me "In sales negotiations, you cannot lose sight of the lifetime value of the relationships you’ve developed and nurtured." In other words, relationships matter and must be protected.” And that’s a two way street. Enjoy Jeb’s article! Win-Win: Just Another Verse of Sales Kumbaya People, especially salespeople and those who manage them, often use the phrase “win-win” and negotiation in the same breath. The concept of negotiating win-win outcomes certainly makes sense in diplomacy, arbitration, and conflict resolution. “Win-win” is a noble concept. It’s nice when everyone wins. If both sides can walk away winners that’s a good thing. But win- win should not be your primary objective at the sales negotiation table, because as a sales professional, your objective is to win for your team. Salespeople delude themselves into believing that everyone needs to win and that negotiated outcomes must be “fair and equitable.” “Win-win” makes sense. Fair and equitable is an easy concept to wrap your mind and emotions around. Read the rest of the article on SalesGravy!

Children have a marvelous way of celebrating who they are. I remember watching my children with awe. It didn’t matter if they were playing a game with others, eating lunch, talking about their day or even watching a movie, they showed joy in everything they do.  And then there’s birthdays… On that day, a child goes from joy to pure ecstasy. A friend of mine recently shared a story about her granddaughters 7th birthday. Mary Elizabeth turned 7. Waking, this precious child jumped out of bed, hopped all over her bedroom proclaiming “Oh how wonderful. I’m seven. I’m seven. All my life I’ve wondered what it would be like to be 7. And now I know.” She looked down at her body and held up her hands. “Look I’ve even grown. It’s a miracle. I’m seven!” Don’t you just love visualizing that child? What a miracle - seven.” This story made me realize that many days I do NOT jump out of bed with joy. Instead, I stumble to the bathroom, peer at a face that seems to be getting older and wonder why the coffeemaker is taking SOOO long. I realize that we risk possible burn out and unhappiness if we approach each day a day like a grownup! And it made me wonder; what if Mary Elizabeth has it right? Why can’t I treat today like a miracle? Better yet, why can’t I treat every day like a miracle? No matter my age. No matter my worries. Thank you, Elizabeth for this teaching me this valuable lesson. I have the ability to choose how I see my day. Today, and for every today to come… What a miracle.

Entering a new decade pushes us toward envisioning what the future will bring. We set targets, make strategic plans, and talk about what where we want to be in 2-3- and 5 years. But maybe, by looking too far ahead, we are not creating the best use of what is around us. Maybe by looking too far out, I miss the treasure that lies at my feet. In fact, an early morning run prompted me to mist on what I need to build now, today, in this place and who is here, now, today to help me. Consider the lesson of my bush sunflowers.

Make no mistake: everyone is in sales. Whether it is your official role or you're a manager trying to sell an idea to a team; whether you’re a city official seeking a vote on a bond measure or a college student trying t get a great date for the football game—WE ALL SELL. This article first appeared in Jeb Blount’s web site Sales Gravy and I was also interviewed by him. Rejection requires resiliency as does acceptance because you’ll need energy—the hallmark of resilience— to achieve an outcome. Jeb has a new book "INKED: The Ultimate Guide to Powerful Closing and Sales Negotiation Tactics that Unlock YES and Seal the Deal" on sale today. To get a signed copy visit his site Sales Gravy or to buy on Amazon visit Amazon.com. In the age of 280 characters, Instagram, and OMG, BFF and LOL, authentic communication has taken a back seat to brevity and expediency, often at the expense of clarity and accuracy. From my research, I believe we want leaders whom we can readily connect with, trust their words, and believe in their commitment to a build a better future for more than the ‘chosen” and/or special interests. I do believe there is a secret code – because if it wasn’t secret, we’d see more leaders using these straight-forward communication concepts. Use real language over ad copy. Real language consists of unpolished phrases, hesitations, and vernacular. Real language is passionate and personal. Corporate speak goes out the window when the CEO sits on the stage, legs dangling and then talks upfront and personal with the rank and file. Or consider Martin Luther King’s speech in which he used everyday language to paint a picture of a dream. Use symbols instead of spreadsheets. Numbers on a page and banners on a wall have no emotional buy-in. Look at the current dramatic increase in donations to ALS because of the Ice Bucket Challenge. The horrific data behind ALS has not shifted but rather, when 29 year-old Pete Frates, BC grad and former college baseball player announced he had ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease), he prompted a scheme to raise awareness and raise research money. Freeze out the disease for which death is the only outcome. (To be fair. social media has spread this symbol and generated a massive response. But without the symbol, social media would not have had such success.) Share wisdom instead of data. Data points, calculations, and statistical bar charts and graphs might look good but what do they all mean? As a former debater, I can tell you there are many ways to slant data to reinforce the point you want to make. What we seek is wisdom from the data. A great leader also invites others to dissect what data “might” mean, not seeking absolutes but trends, insights, and innovations. From wonder comes wisdom Use storytelling instead of telling. Leaders need to be great teachers. Great teachers use stories as a way to make a point memorable. Consider the parables from the Bible, Aesop’s fables, or the letter from a non-profit that relates the STORY of a person who was helped by the charity. We read. We hear. We remember. Facts tell. Emotion sells.
Inside an organization, a great leader asks employees, “Tell me why we’re in business.” If the answer is a blank stare, a finger pointing to a posted mission statement, or the response, “to make money”, you’ve lost engagement.
Ask for a story about when the employee was excited by his work. If no one’s excited, if there are no stories, the next question would be: “Can you make up a story that would have you go home at the end of the day feeling great?” The child of a clinical researcher in a global pharmaceutical company obviously listened to her mother’s stories. When asked what her mom did, the little girl immediately responded, “You make medicines for sick children.” That’s a story! Practice dialogue instead of discussion. The word “discussion” has the same root as “percussion”, the musical instruments that you hit like steel drums, cymbals, bongos and the like.
The word “dialogue” actually comes from two Greek words–dia, meaning “through,” and “logos”, most frequently but only roughly translated in English as “the meaning.”
A leader who uses dialogue seeks to dig deeper into what someone is saying. It means practicing naïve listening, refraining from judgment and listening as if everything is new information. One can never tell what gems might be reveled. Like all great secrets, we yearn to share them. Do so. Teach them to everyone. Looks simple, but takes practice and it beats only using emoticons and a limited character count.

Andy Gove, in his landmark book Only The Paranoid Survive, stated “a strategic inflection point is a time in the life of a business when the fundamentals are about to change.”  This is precisely my mantra in exploring what helps an organization be resilient and forward moving versus a potential dinosaur. Think Kodak, Blockbuster, and video tapes. Change was there but the willingness to pay attention was not. Rita McGrath, Professor of Business at Columbia offers keen advice in her newest book: Seeing Around the Corners: How to Spot Inflection Points Before They Happen. Unlike some business books, McGrath distills easily accessible and actionable wisdom in every chapter. One of my favorite pieces of advice is what I have termed the “orange batons”. If you’ve heard me speak, you know I am talking about the folks on the tarmac who hold orange batons and bring in jets for parking safely on the jetway. They are on the ground because the pilots literally can’t see the markings on the tarmac. Rita insist (and I believe rightly so) that “it’s the people at the fringes who are most likely to see it first: the sales people; the people in customer service who know what is on people’s minds, the scientists… it’s not around a conference table or a board room.”According to McGrath, “Virtually every major inflection point she studied there was early evidence of one’s potential long before it happened.” Sadly executives stay focused on delivering the current quarter, handling day-to-day pressures, and because of their very success, stay safely ensconced in headquarters with internal staff. So: here is your first marching order. Get out of your normal “zone”.  Seek people whom you haven’t spoken to and then listen, naively listen. I still remember walking through a steel plant in Ohio and the operator of one of the huge furnaces gestured with disdain at the executive office a few blocks away. “I’m retiring in three weeks. I know how we can make this operation better, but no one from that office (again another gesture) would ever think of coming here and asking me what I know.” Great way to march into resiliency for 2020. I’d love to learn what you discover.

The Amare Wave is about making business better by putting love, or “amare,” to work. It repositions business as a powerful force for good, and shows a different way to prosper, based in the power of love. Through the seven timeless principles of the Amare Way philosophy, the ABCs of the Amare Way practice -- authenticity, belonging, and collaboration -- and numerous stories, reflective activities, and concrete action steps, people will emerge with the courage and know-how to transform themselves, and grow their organization into its best. The first Amare Way principle is simple: Treat One Another Well. While this encompasses the age-old Golden Rule, it goes further by requiring empathy and compassion. Compassion is the understanding, connection, and feeling of caring we have for the suffering of others. It has also been defined as “holding space for anything, without judgment.” Compassion creates happiness too. As the Dalai Lama said: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Psychologist Jonathan Haidt has shown that in the work- place, feeling uplifted through compassionate acts—a state of being he calls elevation—leads to greater loyalty. When leaders were compassionate, their employees were uplifted, which in turn led employees to feel greater loyalty toward the compassionate leader, and to act more compassionately to other employees, as well as to customers. In business settings, there is a long history of characterizing “soft skills” like empathy and compassion as signs of weakness, of being feminine, or of not being tough. In short, for many years, the prevailing ethos was that these practices don’t belong in business and that they hurt profitability. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Based on the law of reciprocity and the science of human behavior (or the notion of karma, if you prefer), you will reap benefits from treating others well—because when you are good to others, they are more likely to be good to you. It’s not only human nature, but it’s a survival instinct in our highly social, interdependent world. Here is what treating one another well looks like in relation to business: Put yourself in others’ shoes: Ask yourself how you would react if what you did or said to a colleague or customer was being done or said to you—if you were in their position. This is empathy at work. Filter your words : Before you speak, submit your words to what some call the three gates of speech. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Slow down : In tough situations, take a breath—actually stop long enough to breathe in and breathe out—before you react. This helps you ground yourself and find compassion. Tune in : If you sense misalignment, harshness, incivility, or lack of respect for others, acknowledge it, apologize if appropriate, and reframe things to better honor the other person’s humanity. Offer compassion : If a colleague or customer is going through a rough time, rather than merely seeing their problem as a disruptor to business, show them you care by asking what’s going on, expressing kind words, or offering some one-on-one time. Remember amare : Keep top of mind the meaning of amare that is “being grounded in a desire to better each other’s well-being.” This sets the stage for treating others well in business and life. As you can imagine, adopting this one simple idea of the Amare Way philosophy, and sincerely putting it to work, can dramatically change your business.  T he Amare Wave: Uplifting Business by Putting Love to Work is available at Amazon.com . DR. MOSHE ENGELBERG inspires businesses worldwide to be their best by thinking different, acting courageously, and leading with love. His innovative ideas and approaches are deeply rooted in a combination of applied behavioral science and diverse wisdom traditions, tested and refined through almost three decades of consulting with world-class organizations. As founder and head of the business strategy consultancy ResearchWorks , his clients include global health and technology companies, federal and state government agencies, large and small nonprofits, foundations, and startups. Moshe is a teacher at heart who helps others find the deep knowledge and truth they hold within. His extensive academic credentials include a PhD from Stanford University in Communication, and Masters degrees in both Psychology and Public Health. He has published numerous research papers, and designed and taught many executive education and graduate-level courses. As a speaker, Moshe consistently delights and inspires audiences with his innovative thinking, open heart, dry wit, and practical “how-to” tips and techniques. The Amare Wave converges lessons Moshe learned through years of consulting with a wide array of businesses, mentoring executives, teaching, and his own spiritual journey. His next book in the Amare Way series, Riding the Amare Wave: Inspired Stories of Leading with Love , is in the works.

Just think: the last year with the same numbers was 1919. It will be 100 years before this happens again. 2020 not only has a weighty presence but in term of vision, 2020 signifies clear eyesight. Unlike past years, I believe 2020 beckons us to deeply search for what would be our best, most clear vision for our lives, our nation and our planet. Heady stuff, I know, but the fact that we are alive at this time is pretty significant. Each of us has a role to play and a purpose in a world that is more interconnected yet more fragile than ever before. No one is insignificant. In his book, The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer, wrote that willpower is less effective than imagination which is the link to the power of intention. Here are my imaginations and intentions.  I imagine being engaged in speaking and writing assignments that bring out the best in my audiences and readers, leaving them unified and instilled with a sense of purpose. My intention is to connect with those audiences and to bring my new book into their hands before this year is out.I imagine that my nation has found a way to cross what divides us and, instead, look to what could be in the best interest of all, protecting the most unique democracy in modern times. My intention is to seek opportunities to listen deeply, to seek to understand, and to be a more active participant in our governmental processes.I imagine that resilient, forward-thinking companies have voluntarily reduced waste and carbon emissions while, at the same time, are operating from a 3-point model: healthy people, healthy profits and healthy planet. My intention is to learn from my granddaughter how to create a zero waste household and to promote via blog posts and social media the good news about companies who are doing their part for our planet. I am not going to cure cancer, balance an out-of-whack Federal budget, circumnavigate the globe on a tiny sailboat, or design the greatest AI robot. But I will make a point of practicing kindness, looking for what is good, and rejoicing when I hear from any of my followers. Happy 2020!!!