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Study the best seller lists of the past few years and you’ll notice titles that range from Peter Lynch’s “Beating the Street” to Thomas Moore’s “Care of the Soul: How to Find Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life.” This juxtaposition captures the dilemma facing all of us in the business world. How does one swim with the sharks, squeeze the margins of an angst-filled financial world, and still lead a life of wholeness in spirit, mind and body? Nor is this a new question. Marsilio Ficino’s 15th Century treatise, “The Book of Life,” sought to help the Medicis and their merchant counterparts create a renaissance of spirit amid the draining demands of commerce and a new creature called capitalism. Whether a Renaissance banker or the CEO of a high tech conglomerate, whether a guild master of stonework or a manager of information services, the issue is still one of balance. But balance is not an equal measure of work, love, prayer and play. Nor is it a state that can be achieved and frozen in form for all time. Rather, this amorphous thing called “balance” is an on-going, deliberate set of decisions that make the journey of life much like the metaphor of sailing. Consider the single person sailboat. When there is much wind, the little boat appears off balance, moving forward at an angle, sails filled to bursting and the sailor leaning back over the craft, with one hand on the sheet and toes hooked under the railing. What allows the sailor to stay in the boat is that he is connected to all the important parts of that craft. When the wind shifts, so too must the sailor. Life is also like that. We give ourselves tremendous mental stress when we think that life must balance. Having a different image allows us to see where we might be out of control. Briefly, there will always be competing and unequal demands upon our time… much like the tug of the tiller or the push of the wind. Depending upon the course we have chosen for ourselves, we respond to these demands. We might decide to change direction, seek harbor, or give full rein to the beating waves and blustery wind. The quality of these decisions depends upon the direction of our sailboat, the prevailing winds, the depth of the water, and the need for overhaul and repair. Direction refers to the goals, created by our values, which we have established. The wind and the depth of the water represent those people and events, outside our control, which make demands upon our time. Lastly, overhaul and repair stands for the need to cease and desist, to nurture and renew our physical and spiritual self, and to re-examine the course we are sailing. If we consider sailing as a metaphor for the “balance” we all seek along life’s journey, then what is needed are navigational aids. What could help all of us on such a journey is a process, a formula, whereby we might take stock of our decisions, weighing them against our personal values, goals, and physical requirements. Since we are all bound by the same relentless 24-hour day, we would be best served by looking at not how much we can cram into the blocks called “time”, but how wisely do we choose what we put into our finite day. Step 1: Answer these questions to help you determine what is of value to you. Value has more to do with who you are and how you live your life, not what you have achieved. For example, you might value life-long learning, financial security, service to others, loving relationships, and spiritual growth. Once you have identified what is of value, you have a screen with which to filter through goals and activities. One of the best ways to identify values is to create an imaginary sounding board composed of 4-5 people whom you value and admire and who, in turn, sincerely respect and like you. If each one were to give eulogy, what type of person would they say you were and why. What values arose? What goals or activities supported those values? Isolate those values and write them down. You might even be able to rank order the values. Step 2: For the period of one week, keep a pad of paper handy and make a note of every task you perform and what role you play. For example, my roles are professional speaker, writer, wife, mother, friend, office worker, manager, daughter, sister, student, volunteer, and just plain ME. The latter refers to a role that nurtures and cares for me, not necessarily anyone else. Amazingly, I’ve discovered that every task is related to a role and that almost all tasks come in 15 minute increments. Step 3: On a scale from minus 5 to plus 5, rate these roles and accompanying tasks according to enjoyment and personal value. In looking at the tasks of a week, interesting discoveries arise. Are the various tasks and roles you’ve played congruent with the values you’ve identified? Are you putting more time than is reasonable into some tasks and roles? The operative word here is “reasonable.” For example, a special friend lost her husband and had no one to help her with grief and anger, not to mention funeral arrangements and lawyers. My value of service and loving relationships and the role as “friend” and also surrogate “daughter” created many tasks and demands. For me, it would have been unreasonable not to spend considerable time with Jeanne. The sailboat headed in her direction. Another example. I discovered that I was putting far too much time in the role of “office worker” rather than in the role of “manager”. Instead of assigning tasks and growing others, I was taking work on that did NOT need to be done by me. Time to alter course and allow my associates to hold the tiller. Finally, by putting so much emphasis on the role of professional speaker and its tasks, I had let drop ME. Time to make decisions for overhaul and repair, saying “yes” to a day off, to a day of contemplative silence. I realized that without the silence, all I bring to the platform and my audiences are echoes of words rather than insights. Step 4: Now that you have identified what is, make a list of questions to ask yourself when you begin to take on a role and task. My list looks like this: Does it support my value for life-long learning and make a difference? Will it stop another person from growing? Will it stretch my abilities? I recently accepted an assignment that will cost time, money and effort as well as time away from home. I accepted it because it will move me into trying something that I have never done before… an activity directly related to my role of professional speaking and service. Does it allow me to be with people whom I care about? How often have we all said “yes” to an engagement because we feel “guilty”? The reality is that we find the people tedious, demanding, and downright boring. I have finally determined that if I have limited time with my family and friends, it is perfectly fine to periodically decline such invitations. Is it irresistible? That’s right—”Irresistible”. Does what you are about to say “yes” to come without a significant doubt. Does the request come without compromise or force from either the offeror or me. There is no emotional blackmail, no “should”, no social obligation. Irresistible requests are gifts to be gratefully accepted. If our time is filled only with “resistible” demands, how we will ever be able to accept the irresistible? Is it fun and will it allow for creativity and a change of pace? Will it create organization and structure in my life? Am I the only one who can do this? Will it nurture my physical well-being and respect my natural pace? I have discovered that unlike many of my colleagues, non-stop travel is exhausting and not fun. My body requires seven hours of sleep, regular exercise and down time. I can take only so many back-on-back engagements before I must say “no”. Trusting that I can say “no” is a lesson I struggle to learn. Is it authentic to me and of service to others? I was asked if I would run for the Board of a non-profit. Knowing I have strong organizational and leadership abilities not to mention an ego – saying “yes” to serve the membership SEEMED appropriate. However, when I tested the request against the other questions listed above, more negative responses appeared. The art of balancing an unequal life means that we seek answers to all these questions before choosing the next activity to put in our life. Yes there will be days, even months, when the pressure of every day pushes us into knee-jerk reactions and work seems to be working us. External forces and folks seem to be pushing us for more, for faster, for further. Once realized, stop. Lower the sails. Breathe. Ask yourself these questions. Remember, there is a big difference between the leading edge and the bleeding edge. Alienation from our authentic, deepest self and each other draws blood. Connection to our core and the humanity around us draws life. Sail on! © The Resiliency Group. Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.

In a world where “too much to do and too little time” is a common mantra, there’s a sense that everyone and everything has more control over our day than we do. While we might be at the beck and call of clients, there are still areas where the culprit is none other than ourselves. Using the word “control” as an acronym, let me suggest ways in which we can begin to gain some relief from self-induced pressure. Can the clutter. Do you walk into your office and instantly feel a sense that you could get buried in all that mess? Papers are piled on the desk, on the floor, and in tiered boxes. Note that if this is your natural style of organization, you’d feel pressure by having items out of sight! But if you’re like a great majority of people, clutter only adds to the time spent in finding what you need. Do you use everything that you have on display? Can you find items when you need them? If you’ve answered “no,” proceed to the next recommendation.  Out with excess paper. Examine what surrounds you. What can you throw out, give out, leave out? If you are months behind in journals and other publications, scan the table of contents and keep only those items which you KNOW you’ll need. Throw the rest away. No, not, never, not now. Say it. Practice it. We frequently nod our heads “yes” like a wind-up toy because of guilt, fear, or a sense that obligation. Ask yourself, why do you say “yes”. Perhaps even a “not now” would suffice. I am convinced that if we do not put limits on our time, it will vanish with our unknowing permission. Talk up. To curtail long conversations or meeting, learn these sentences. “I would like to be able to talk with you but I have another engagement. Can you please tell me your request (situation, concern, etc.) in 25 words or less?” First, you won’t be lying with your opening statement. You will always have another engagement – even if it’s with the report in your computer. Second, you have indicated a willingness to respond. You have merely put a concise cast to the conversation. It’s amazing how “25 words or less” can increase the speed and fluency of conversation. As a variation on this theme, you can also curtail a drawn- out conversation with this question: “How would you like this conversation to end?” Read only what matters. And what matters concerns your business, your future, your soul. Operate early. This can mean everything from getting up early to doing things early. If you pack for a trip, don’t wait until the last minute. Prepare, in advance, your suitcase, your briefcase. The only things that need to be added are last minute items. Create artificial deadlines which are in advance of the true deadline. You’ll always feel more in control. Lighten up. Perfect isn’t always perfect. Look for and relish the unexpected. There is serendipity when we allow ourselves to surrender to events and times over which we have no control. The weather-hold which keeps my plane grounded allows me to complete a piece of writing I could not have finished. The shop which closes just as soon as I approach the door lets me walk down the street and find other stores which I had never noticed before. Getting in control is ultimately about getting clear on our work habits, our priorities, and our values. © The Resiliency Group. Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.

Some of the key findings from a recent survey on panels by colleague and fellow facilitator Kristin Arnold include: Panels are pervasive. The panel format is widely used at meetings. Ninety-nine percent of respondents have seen a panel format during a meeting in the past 12 months. Panels are a lazy format. The panel format is considered to be a relatively easy format to produce: the meeting planner picks the topic, finds a moderator, selects the panelists and then moves on to more important aspects of the meeting. Unfortunately, the audience sees this lack of attention and doesn't enter into the panel space with high hopes. Format needs to be updated. The traditional, boring panel format needs to be reinvigorated to engage and entertain today's audiences. Skilled facilitation is key to panel success. There is a high degree of correlation between the effectiveness of the moderator and the effectiveness of the panel in achieving the outcomes. Having a skilled facilitator as the moderator is your best insurance policy to creating a successful panel session. Choose moderators wisely. A company official might not be the wise choice at bringing out the best in panelists. The biggest "pet peeve" is having a poor moderator, with out-of-control panelists following close behind. This makes perfect sense - when you have a skilled moderator, then the panelists will be less likely to get out of control. Yet when you have a lousy moderator, even brilliant panelists can get out of control or miss the mark. I will add one more: plenty of pre-work.  If possible, we get potential questions in advance from the representative audience. I interview and talk to all a panelists before hand.  This creates a level of comfort between us. I highlight that this will be a conversation and not a presentation. If possible, I assemble the panelists beforehand, in either a breakfast or dinner meeting so they are comfortable with each other.  Lastly, we create a living room set on the stage and I often will move from the stage to be part of the audience and field their questions to the panelists. To find out more please call me at 949-496-8640 to discuss!

Do you remember the “good old days”? At least it seemed as if our parents’ or grandparents’ lives were so much easier. Those were the days when life seemed to work in a straightforward, linear fashion. You went to school. You chose college or a technical trade. You got married. Maybe you had kids. You retired. You died. Today, only death remains of that progressive march of time. And now, with advances in medicine, you can even lengthen (or shorten) the inevitability of death. When I started my company in 1980, I had many colleagues approach me with the same questions: “How did you get up enough courage to do what you are doing?” “How could you leave a corporate structure?” “ How did you know what you should be doing with your life?” “Where will your business grow?”  Those questions of long ago continue to echo today for the simple reason:  I still have lots of choices. And so do you. From our careers to our lifestyles, from our life partners to our life’s legacy, we have a vast array of possibilities facing us.  Our ability to think clearly, to make wise choices in our life has everything to do with creating a world of our own choosing—the ultimate success. I wish I could admit that I knew this craft of “choosing well” from the outset.  Not so.  Like many of you, I have experienced divorce, work failure, and at times, a less than healthy body.  I have found my crammed 24-hour day consumed by things that—at face value—have been “chosen” by others.  But along the way, I have also learned some lessons which, when I practice, assist me in choosing well. Notice the phrase “when I practice”.  Like all of you, there are days when I don’t follow the path of wisdom. I forget. The heat of the moment and that demon Guilt take over so that I unconsciously make less-than-smart decisions.  Please know, therefore, that as I write to you I am also writing for myself so that I can again remember what it takes to choose well. With a degree in communications, I found my career life first in education and quickly moved to the marketing and advertising part of the business world.  An avocation for psychology and a journalistic stint allowed me to quickly pick up the nuances of an enterprise.  I worked as the marketing head for a real estate development and an internationally recognized resort property. I handled corporate and investor relations for a health care corporations.  I became a public relations consultant responsible for handling primarily multinational companies.  And I fried. I burned.  I sizzled out in one big heap of misery and unhappiness. Something just wasn’t right! I left. I opened up my own company.  And I realized the first skill in choosing well:  Know what you don’t want. Practice Reverse Goal Setting For many of us, the admonition to “set goals” is simply not doable.  We don’t have a clear idea of what we want. Therefore, I have found benefit in practicing reverse goal setting.  Specifically, sit down with a paper and begin to itemize all the things you truly do NOT want in your life.  Begin with your career.  I knew that I did not want to write another press release.  I knew that I wanted to be able to choose my own clients rather than being forced to take clients I knew, in my heart of hearts, we truly could not serve in the best fashion.  I knew that I did not want someone else controlling what I delivered in exchange for money.  I did not want to be hamstrung by corporate politics, or by the hours on a clock that translated “face time” as the only measure of value. Try writing reverse goals for the other areas of life:physical, emotional, material, and spiritual. In the physical arena, I determined that I did not want to be overweight, out of shape, and unable to travel easily. Emotionally, I learned much from a failed marriage.  I learned that I did not want to be anything less than an equal partner in a relationship—from the financial to the intellectual.  I did not want to hide again my thoughts or feelings for the sake of peace and quiet. And I did not want to feel unattractive and unappealing. On the material side, I did not want to live life in a penurious manner, always afraid that there would never be enough.  I did not want to inherit the Depression mentality of my relatives.  And spiritually, I did not want to feel estranged and empty in a relationship with God or disenfranchised by narrow religious thinking. Once you begin to write reverse goals, an amazing thing happens: you realize what you do want.  I realized that I wanted to be my own boss in a creative endeavor that makes a difference in the world.  I realized that I wanted to practice the exercise and nutrition essential for health.  I wanted a life partner with a strong sense of self-esteem, humor, and a capacity to love deeply and widely.  I wanted to give whatever I want as gifts and live in a place that nurtures me with its beauty and peace.  And I wanted to work on a spiritual quest. Having written all this, there is another step to the process:you must chart your course for the journey. Determine your “true north” based on values. When I lecture on the concepts in my book, Work for a Living & Still Be Free to Live, I ask participants to close their eyes, hold their hand over their head, and on the count of three, to point to where they think “true north” lies.  When they open their eyes, they see fingers pointed in every direction.  And everyone in that room is absolutely correct.  Each of us has our own “true north”. I think of life as a journey, a sailing voyage to be exact. Decisions to help us “balance” must be based on both our individual sailboat as well as the chart we navigate.  If we haven’t charted a course, all the navigation skill might still put us in the wrong place. What could help all of us on such a journey is a process, a formula, whereby we might take stock of our decisions, weighing them against our personal values. Step 1: Answer these questions to help you determine what is of value to you. Value has more to do with who you are and how you live your life, not what you have achieved.For example, you might value life-long learning, financial security, service to others, loving relationships, and spiritual growth.  Once you have identified what is of value, you have a screen with which to filter through goals and activities. One of the best ways to identify values is to create an imaginary sounding board composed of 4-5 people whom you value and admire and who, in turn, sincerely respect and like you.  If everyone on the imaginary board were to give eulogy, what type of person would they say you were and why?  What values arose?  What goals or activities supported those values? Isolate those values and write them down.  You might even be able to rank order the values. Step 2: For the period of one week, keep a pad of paper handy and make a note of every task you perform and what role you play. For example, my roles are professional speaker, writer, wife, mother, friend, office worker, manager, daughter, sister, student, volunteer, and just plain ME.  The latter refers to a role that nurtures and cares for me, not necessarily anyone else. Amazingly, I've discovered that every task is related to a role and that almost all tasks come in 15-minute increments. Step 3: On a scale from minus 5 to plus 5, rate these roles and accompanying tasks according to enjoyment and personal value. In looking at the tasks of a week, interesting discoveries arise. Are the various tasks and roles you've played congruent with the values you've identified?  Are you putting more time than is reasonable into some tasks and roles?  The operative word here is "reasonable. "For example, a special friend lost her husband and had no one to help her with grief and anger, not to mention funeral arrangements and lawyers. My value of service and loving relationships and the role as "friend" and also surrogate "daughter" created many tasks and demands.  For me, it would have been unreasonable not to spend considerable time with Jeanne.  The sailboat headed in her direction. Another example.I discovered that I was putting far too much time in the role of" office worker" rather than in the role of"manager".  Instead of assigning tasks and growing others, I was taking work on that did NOT need to be done by me.  Time to alter course and allow my associates to hold the tiller. Finally, by putting so much emphasis on the role of professional speaker and its tasks, I had let drop ME.  Time to make decisions for overhaul and repair, saying"yes" to a day off, to a day of contemplative silence. I realized that without the silence, all I bring to the platform and my audiences are echoes of words rather than insights.  Let me say that again, “without silence.”  Here’s another ingredient in the craft of choosing well: a silent retreat. Retreat in order to advance “The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what is sounding outside.  And only she who listens can speak.” I remember the thud in my stomach when I read these words by the late Secretary General to the United Nations, Dag Hammarskjöld.  Here I was: trying to grow a speaking and counseling business by surrounding myself with busyness, a constant influx of chatter, and an absence of any true internal “listening”.  My business had not grown as I had hoped, everything seemed an effort, and I wasn’t getting the sense that my internal compass still pointed to truth north. I knew I needed to take time away. But there was so much to do. I hated giving up what little time I had at home since it took me away from my beloved husband Bill (yes, he meets all my criteria).  This time, Bill insisted. And he was right.  I have learned the value of taking a 3-day silent retreat so that I can rethink, renew, redirect, and refresh my choices.  Amazingly, the family survives without me, no client disappears, and I return re-energized for the year. Many of us have difficulty with being alone. And silence scares us.  In world bombarded by sound, some of us promptly turn on the television or radio as soon as we enter an empty house.  I have discovered the deep necessity for silence and alone time. Even if it means checking into a local motel, unplugging the phone and ordering room service, choosing well demands that we spend time thinking and writing. Yes, writing.  When thoughts stay only in our head, I am convinced we do not receive the full power of our thoughts.  The writing is for you alone. Use a spiral notebook, a blank book, and a yellow pad.  But write in ink. Write the question you are trying to answer. Write free form all your thoughts and fears and dreams about that question.  Wake up in the middle of night and record a dream you have. Then read it back.Keep the notebook. Pick it up after some time has passed. You will be amazed at the wisdom found there—wisdom that sometimes we don’t get on the first reading our words. If you wish to learn more about journaling as a method for self-discovery, check out the Intensive Journal Workshops offers around the United States by facilitators trained in the Progoff Journal Workshop method. Experience the call of the wild John O’Donohue in his book Eternal Echoes writes “When you find a place in Nature where the heart and mind find rest, then you have discovered a sanctuary for your soul. Nature calls us to tranquility and rhythm. When your heart is confused or heavy, a day outside in Nature’s quiet eternity restores your lost tranquility.” In the creativity process, there is a stage called incubation. Answers arise after a period of gestation, a period marked by NOT actively discussing the problem but rather letting the mind focus on other areas.  Nature is the perfect gestation place for seeking wisdom about our choices.  In the call of the wild, it is possible to find a clarity not found in the confusion of our houses and offices. Now I am not talking about backpacking in the High Sierras, though this is certainly an option. Rather I am talking about taking mini retreats in whatever is the natural setting which is closest to you and which calls to you.  My best friend walks in the cemetery near her house. There, amid the trees and flowers and grasses, wending her way around the head stones placed more for the living than for the deceased, she finds peace and clarity. I live near the ocean. I place a problem requiring a decision in the back of my head and I walk. On more than one occasion, as my feet feel the cold tingly water and my eyes gaze at whatever debris the ocean has offered as treasure, I find a metaphor replete with meaning.  When I was torn about my first marriage and feeling frail, small and inadequate to do anything on my own, I stumbled with broken heart to face the gale of a Nor’easter.  With tears and fear streaming down my face, I plunged into the wind’s fury. As foam scudded at my tennis shoes and huge broken shells littered my path, I suddenly spied a perfect sand dollar the size of a dime.This fragile form, amid the destruction of a fierce storm, has made it through precisely because it was small.  I knew at that moment I could make the decision I needed to make and survive.  What a powerful message from the wild. Find whatever place calls to you and take the time to listen, with eyes wide open. I am confident you will find information you need. Know your season and grow your season There is the wonderful line that says, “To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven." Our ability to choose well also rests on how truthful we are about the “season” of our life.  If we are at the beginning of our career, our marriage, our family, choices will need to take these things into account.  I remember how I thrilled to the excitement and challenge of my first job after leaving teaching.  I loved the adult company, the ability to be creative and the challenge of so many things to learn.  I accept requests to do anything and everything because I was learning. Today, I am more selective in my learning - asking now if it furthers other goals I have. Our body also has a season. I have discovered that unlike many of my colleagues, non-stop travel is exhausting and not fun. My body requires seven hours of sleep, regular exercise and down time. I can take only so many back-on-back engagements before I must say "no".  Trusting that I can say "no" is a lesson I struggle to learn. Accept irresistible offers "Irresistible" means that without a doubt I would say "yes" and that the request comes without compromise or force from either the offeror or me. There is no emotional blackmail, no "should", no social obligation.  Irresistible requests are gifts to be gratefully accepted. If our time is filled only with "resistible" demands, how we will ever be able to accept the irresistible?  I’ve determined that there are other critical questions that can help us determine if a choice is irresistible. Does it support my value for life-long learning and make a difference?  Will it stop another person from growing?  Will it stretch my abilities? I recently accepted an assignment that will cost time, money and effort as well as time away from home.  I accepted it because it will move me into trying something that I have never done before... an activity directly related to my role of professional speaking and service. Does it allow me to be with people whom I care about? How often have we all said, "yes" to an engagement because we feel "guilty"?  The reality is that we find the people tedious, demanding, and downright boring.  I have finally determined that if I have limited time with my family and friends, it is perfectly fine to periodically decline such invitations. Is it fun and will it allow for creativity and a change of pace? Will it create organization and structure in my life? Am I the only one who can do this? Is it authentic to me and of service to others? I was asked if I would run for the Board of a non-profit.  Knowing I have strong organizational and leadership abilities not to mention an ego - saying, "yes" to serve the membership SEEMED appropriate.  However, when I tested the request against the other questions listed above, more negative responses appeared.  I turned down the nomination. Think “give” not “get.” I n a spot of a ranch we once visited, an old hand pump stood amid the weeds. I learned that it would yield water AFTER it had been primed.  At the time, it almost seemed as if we were offering an oblation to some underground water spirit, begging it to open the spring. I now don’t think I was all that wrong. Experience has taught me that when we make choices to give because it is the right thing to do, without any thought of getting back in return, we do receive in full measure, pressed down and overflowing. Easy to do? No. When we are the bill payers, it is so easy to get in the place of scarcity, wondering what different actions will cost us.  So practice small.  My beloved brother-in-law, Noam Pitlik, always said, “it’s only money”. His decisions to give time and resources to his colleagues, his family, and his “customers” gave him not only a fabulous career as an Emmy Award-winning director, but also earned him the love and devotion of a wide Hollywood community.  His untimely death caught all of us by sorrow and grief, and the outpouring of love spoken volumes of his ability to chose well how he lived. Invest in the future The craft of choosing well demands that we take also a long-term view of our work and life.Investing in the future can mean everything from education to actual investments.  It can mean choosing to spend time with our family and community because the future rests in their hands.  As a grandmother, I have made a deliberate choice that I will spend at least one week every other month with my granddaughters who live in Oregon. Since I live in Southern California, this is no small effort and yet, I am investing in our future so we can have a relationship. Celebrate daily. Give thanks. “No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” Helen Keller The ultimate success is to live lives by design, not by default.When we continually refine the skill of choosing well, we see opportunities and events in a different light. There is much to be thankful for. One cannot be a pessimist if you are constantly focused on gratitude.  Gratitude opens the heart and mind to see more than what sits before our eyes. Gratitude soothes the edges of disappointment and fear. When we realize the many riches that exist in our life, we feel stronger, more confident, and in-control. Sarah ban Breathnach was right when she recommended keeping a gratitude journal. Without fail, I daily write five things that occurred that day for which I am grateful. Even on the bleakest of days, this practice has carried me through. In conclusion Doing what you love and staying in love with what you do means staying on the path by on making authentic decision. The craft of choosing well. © The Resiliency Group.  Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.

According to the INSEAD business school in Singapore and the Wharton School in San Francisco, mindfulness meditation can help improve business decisions and prevent investment mistakes.  Psychological scientists found that meditation (being quiet and focusing on the breath BEFORE proceeding) helps people resist the “sunk-cost-basis”—the tendency to continue a project despite negative results in order to justify the money spent to date. Sounds like Congress should meditate.

At the gym today, I saw a television ad for the Land Rover. The driver stops the car, gives his dog the whiff of a dropped scarf and the chase begins! The driver follows this gorgeous black dog running through narrow alleys, down cobblestone streets, until the animal stops at the steps of what looks like a huge mansion. Out hops the man. He bounds up the steps as the woman turns. She smiles, accepts the scarf and he’s back in the driver seat. Selling a Land Rover?  I think not. I’d buy the dog!!!!

My friend and fellow speaker Laura Stack’s newest book, Execution IS the Strategy, hits bookstores today.  I think she's spot on in her work that insists execution is everything.  She also has rolled into this book components that I believe are essential to leading an organization that has staying power and stamina. Laura believes a leader’s biggest challenge isn’t creating the strategy—it’s executing the strategy. It’s not about who has the best ideas—it’s who executes their ideas the best. Execution IS the Strategyshows you how to quickly drive strategic initiatives and get great results from your team. Laura’s L-E-A-D Formula™ outlines the conditions that must be present in your workplace for successful execution to occur: L = Leverage: Are you strong enough as a leader, and do you have the right people and drivers in place to achieve your strategic priorities? If not, then you have a talent/resource issue. E = Environment: Do you have the organizational atmosphere, practices, and unwritten ground rules to allow your employees to easily support your strategic priorities? If not, you have a cultural/engagement issue. A = Alignment:Do your team members’ daily activities move them toward the accomplishment of the organization’s ultimate goals? If not, then you have a communication/productivity issue. D = Drive: Are your organization’s leaders, teams, and employees nimble enough to move quickly once the first three keys are in place? If not, you have a speed/agility issue What I really like about Laura’s work is the abundance of complimentary educational resources she’s providing with your book purchase (an incredible value for less than twenty bucks!): 1. A one-year subscription to her Strategic Execution online video series for leaders. Each five-minute weekly video comes with a transcript and a "training blueprint" with key points, discussion questions, and an exercise to help you take the learning back to your team. These videos provide valuable discussion points for your meetings and performance issues. 2. An excerpt of the book with Table of Contents, Introduction, and Chapter 1 to whet your appetite and forward to your team. 3. A Leader Guide and a Discussion Guide to help you run a book club. 4. An online assessment of the Execution Quotient from the book, which will help you discover which of 36 obstacles are preventing your team from getting things done. You’ll discover where you’re stuck in the L-E-A-D Formula. 5. A link to download thousands of dollars in additional leadership resources from several expert authors, including Joe Calloway, Liz Weber, Daniel Burrus, Kristin Arnold, Barry Banther, Dianna Booher, and Janelle Barlow. 6. A four-part video series on the Four Keys of Successful Strategic Execution in the L-E-A-D Formula™ to share with your team. Use these training videos over the next month in your staff meetings for a great conversation starter on driving results. Phew — after I write all of this, I know she has been one VERY busy lady and also VERY focused.  Now that IS execution. Let me know what you think of her book and resources.

Walk into the room and can’t find your keys? Or forget why you entered the room in the first place? Wondering what has happened to your short term memory? Feel overwhelmed by information, people, to-do lists and demands on your time? You very well could be suffering from SAAD – situational attention deficit disorder, a term coined by Anderson Consulting Institute for Strategic Change. Specifically, most of us are now in situations in which we are bombarded by so many demands for our attention that our brains close down. It’s a phenomenon of our time. Our brains, evolved over eons to respond to our environment and each other are exponentially being taxed by the growth in information and technology. Everyone and everything is vying for attention. We are hardwired to respond but when it’s deluged like that, the brain just “goes blind”. Engineers discovered this phenomenon when they installed hundreds of communication devices in cockpits, thinking it would improve the pilot’s performance. Instead, when the pilots performance decreased. Information and technology will not go away. But there are ways to turn from “SAAD” to glad. 1.  Determine your priorities and focus on them. Don’t let yourself be pulled into anything from meetings, to readings, to conversations that thwart your priorities. Literally block out space on your daily to-do list for things that are important to you: from projects, to exercise, to family time. Hold these times as sacred. 2.  Say “no” to answering every message. The average American receives 201 phone, paper, and e-mail messages a day. Take care of those that are priority and let the rest drop off. Ignore the messages that are uninvited and unnecessary. 3.  Let technology work for you in prioritizing. Caller ID and voice mail can allow you to screen calls. For those who depend upon business coming in via phone and need to take every call, develop a way to shorten incoming sales calls. Telemarketing calls that come in via a computer dial-up have a few seconds of silence before a voice is heard. If that’s the case, just hang up. If you are solicited, ask them to please out your name on the DO NOT call list. And then hang up. 4.  Create a centering place. Whether it is in the silence of your car, or in a shower, or closing your door, take 15 minutes per day to practice paying attention to ONE thing: your breathing, a flower, a fish tank. Like the muscle in our bodies, the brain gets strong I the places where we train it. Focus turns SADD into glad! © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live.

Denial is NOT a river in Egypt. It is a precursor to potential events that can force an individual (or the state with the greatest population) into crisis mode. I’ve seen it in businesses: Remember the glory days of Howard Johnson?  Kodak?  I have seen it in individuals: My heavy-smoker friend who died of lung cancer.  The homeowner who rebuilt her house for the 21st time in the exact location where 20 storms of previous years had destroy it.  And now— it is happening in my own state of California. Here was today’s front page news: Makes me want to slap my forehead and say “duh!”  All of us, including government officials) need to practice PRESILIENCE — preventive resilience. Think of this like preventive maintenance.  Reality of our situation is not a fantasy of “maybe” but rather “when”.   We must take action today and not when it’s too late. Multiple options, actions, scenario planning, and mandatory conservation are needed NOW in my state.  Heck, my house guests follow our “toilet rule” when it comes to flushing. We ask that showers be limited to four minutes. We ask that water not be left running while teeth are being brushed. And yes, we did take up our grass and replace it with artificial turf. Same thing happens in our lives.  You KNOW what you are ignoring. What presilience plans do you need to make today so you’ll be ready tomorrow?

When we are young, we feel that time is on our side. Not any more. Our days are a blur of perceived demands from workplaces stretched beyond the leading edge to the bleeding edge, from technology that allows others to locate us even in the privacy of our cars and bathrooms, from children and aging parents who name us and claim us, and from our inability to find options for creating mind sets and actions that can give us a modicum of breathing space and control. We can all sing the chorus: “There’s too much to do and too little time.” We have created a commodity worth of the Stock Exchange: Time. We spend it, lose it, waste it, and manage it. We’re told to make time, use time, take time and, if we’ve had a run-in with the law, we might even “do” time. Time is the great equalizer, given in singular 24-hour chunks by the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon. No money can buy it, no power can hold it, no army can stop it. We need to concentrate on winning back our life -- snatching it away from the blur of to-do lists, technology, and work/life pressures. Four Truths The more I ponder time demands, I realize four truths: Truth 1: Simplicity isn’t simple. It’s an admirable, essential goal that most of us are working on. Simplicity takes time and requires an agreement from all those impacted by its requirements. We’ve been given day-to-day wisdom to follow in realizing the already-present abundance without adding to our closet, our bank account, our larder. Truth 2: The technology genie will not go back into the bottle. Once released, our challenge becomes to wisely choose when we access technology’s power. The seductiveness of thinking we are so important that people must find us any time, any place, for any matter is ego at its worst. Consider my experience with a man who brought his computer and cellular phone along on a four-day cruise. He was not present. He missed the experience. And, I think, he lost. Truth 3: Time management creates order and structure. It does not create present moment awareness. I’m not concerned with “managing time” as much as I am for discovering how to make better choices for what we put in these blocks called “time.” This is not about finding the latest time-saving devices. We all have a plethora of these. Too often, they’ve become excuses for letting us cram our life with longer to-do lists. We end up working harder and longer. What I want to have us consider is taking control, finding personal empowerment in our work, lives, lifestyles, and relationships. It’s about finding more life in our years and more years in our life. We do not have extra time, but we do have discretionary energy and creativity. And we can learn to be present in the moment. Truth 4: Being present takes practice. As children, we felt we had command of our day, at least until bedtime. Summers stretched into hide-aways, street games, lightening bug hunts, marshmallows over campfires, and inner tubes in pools. What would happen if we could capture, practice, and re-frame the present so that at the end of a day, a week, or year, we felt like we have lived life -- with it’s joys and sorrows -- in a manner of our choosing? Plenty. How to Get Started Here are two examples of what you can do to be here now: Create a sacred space for regrouping. This could be your car, your bathroom, your backyard. When you enter this space, ban anything that distracts your attention from simply breathing and noticing your surroundings. Try and discover something you have never seen or heard before. There will always be something. This is like any exercise. The regular practice will allow you to stop at any given moment and be in control, centered, and observant. Keep a journal, and joy a few words of some event, person, experience or observation that struck you as meaningful. This is part of being in the now. Being present means seeing with new eyes and looking beyond the obvious to that metaphorical magic which takes an event in time and earmarks it as a memory. By collecting these moments and capturing them in word or picture, at the end of a year, you’ll be amazed at how much you have won by being present. You have won back a portion of your life.

Sometimes, the animal kingdom comes way too close to resembling our existence. The Sea Peach is a somewhat fuzzy creature that is a close relative to us in that it has a rudimentary nervous system, and eye and a sense of smell. But here’s an even spookier resemblance: after a carefree adolescence, it degenerates into a blob. After it matures, it latches on to a rock, it eye grows dim and vanishes. Its sense of smell goes away, its nervous systems withers and disappears and— to add insult to injury—its mouth migrates into way-too-close to its rear end! Now: I did not make this up. I found this when I was cleaning out my files. So if you wrote this— let me know and I’ll give you credit! But then I’d have to ask you (and me)— why ever did we keep this bit of data. Perhaps we’re both strange.

The reality of today’s world seems to leave little room for optimism. Almost every news story can lead because it does bleed. We hear of critical food shortages in Africa, daily gang deaths on city streets, the profiteering from child pornography, and the climatic disasters prompted by global warming. Health care costs move up faster than a hummingbird in flight and more children now spout profanities as a regular part of speech. With such negativity, no wonder a 2004 U.S. government survey found that depression afflicts one in 10 adults 14 days a month or more. You probably get depressed just reading the opening paragraph. But wait! There is hope. Not the cock-eyed optimism that became fodder for a song from the musical South Pacific, but rather what psychologists in France are calling “intelligent optimism.” Such optimism does not deny the reality of today’s world, but rather seeks to LEARN how to fashion a life amid such difficulties. Martin Seligman, the psychologist who had made optimism and happiness his life’s work, would agree with the French: optimism can be taught. Consider these basic steps: (1) Focus on what you can control. Don’t get carried away by circumstances you cannot change. You might not change global warming but you can control your energy consumption. You can’t stop the downsizing in your company but you can arm yourself with marketable skills. (2) Reframe the event so that you are not a victim. There is always another way to view a situation. The flight cancellation that caused me to miss (and forfeit) a major engagement was not “planned” to “get” me. It just was. My choice is to figure out what I can do to help the current client and what I will put in the place of the canceled work. (3) Think “enough”. When we concentrate on what we don’t have, we miss all the many things we do have. The truth of the matter is that if you are reading this article, you do have enough computer power. You do have enough intelligence. You do have enough time. (4) Cultivate optimistic responses. Like a farmer tending a field, optimism will never grow unless it is watered, fed, weeded and nourished. We all have days in which negativity can take over. And, sometimes, that is a WISE response because it keeps us grounded in reality. Just make sure it is reality and not the imagination making extraordinary leaps into conjecture. Weed out that conjecture. Ask what you can DO to see a result that gives you a sense of power. If we don’t cultivate such intelligent optimism, be aware of reality and willing to find options, then we might do what Alexander Graham Bell warned. “Stare so long at the closed door we fail to see the one that is opening.” (5) Remember the power of generations. Children of depressed parents are more prone to depression. Children of optimists are more prone to be optimists. What do you choose to pass along? Even if your parents were negative, you can break the cycle with stopping, freeze-framing a situation, listening to the negative self talk, and then literally giving yourself a different message. Yes, this takes practice but you can make it a habit if you work it over time. Ultimately, intelligent optimists understand that change and chaos are given. They know that “this too shall pass”. In the meantime, they CHOOSE to take whatever action they can within their own sphere of influence and then settle back. It is enough. © The Resiliency Group.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live.