Today we start the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere—June 21. I just returned from Fairbanks, AK where tonight a midnight baseball game will be played under natural light! In a land known as “the midnight sun”, folks in the northern reaches of Alaska and Canada are grabbing the solace of daylight as long as it lasts! There’s something about sunlight that not only heals the bones but warms the heart. Even in her dementia, Mom would sit in her wheelchair, eyes closed, and face turned to the sun. “It’s so delicious”, she’d say, licking her lips. What a sweet memory. I think if Mom knew she’d get four months of “almost” all sun, she’d move to Alaska. This summer season also started me wondering about ways in which we might generate our own heat and healing. There’s good reason for the song verse that seeks “the sunshine of your smile”. Imagine what a difference it might make—for 365 days of the year—if we all practiced that form of sunshine. Whether smiling at a store clerk, the man walking the dog, the stranger crossing the street, or the new neighbor, I can bet the response would be delicious. So, here’s the challenge I am setting for myself: Each day, I want to literally count the number of people to whom I can smile and say, “good day”. I want to walk in the gym and smile at the employee behind the desk, give a thumbs up to the grumpy old guy on the bicycle, and give a shout out to the newcomer trying to slowly edge back into weight training. What about you? Will you join me? Let me know. PS: You can also think of ways to extend warmth to a client or customer. My sister just sent me a summer solstice idea about a pet food company called CHEWY. Susan wrote: "This is example of great corporate humane response. I buy from Chewy.com regularly for our birds. They provide great service, product, and price. Now I have an important reason to be loyal and look there first." https://www.today.com/pets/pets/chewy-sends-flowers-woman-pet-food-dog-dies-rcna33956 Welcome to Summer.

“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back. Choose the path that leads to wisdom.” – Buddha I can hear some of you right now: “Meditate! I’d rather medicate.” Can’t blame you. This practice might seem to fit the slower life of religious folks. Au contraire! Men and women caught in today’s frantic, frenetic pace can get back into a place of con- trolled energy with a daily practice of meditation. Here’s why. Instead of just throwing yourself out of bed when the alarm sounds or hitting the snooze button and turning over, become very deliberate with the start of the day. Without a deliberate practice, we join the energy-sucking race into life. I am by no means a great practitioner. In fact, I am pretty lousy. But I do know that if I wake up 15 minutes early, do the morning chores my body needs (including brushing my teeth), I can return to bed or a chair and just sit for 10 minutes. Doing nothing. Just gently breathing. Sure, my monkey mind chatters about the to-do list. I tell it to be quiet. Sometimes I am successful. Sometimes not. It doesn’t matter. I am starting the day with my energy controlled. You can move into a longer practice, take classes, listen to tapes. Those all take time. Right now, a 10-minute start to the day will start your energy flowing in the right direction, connecting with what matters to you! Then, when life takes over and you find yourself hyperventilating at the kids, the assignment, the spouse, go back to the very first lesson: Breeeathe. This excerpt is from my book My Get Up and Go… Got Up and Went: Simple Ways to Recharge Your Batteries and Renew Your Life!. You can purchase it for yourself or for someone as a gift by clicking here.

Running a business is hard work, whether you’ve just started or you’ve managed a business for a while. Being an entrepreneur means you have the responsibility to oversee everything, which can take a lot of time and leave you feeling overwhelmed at times. However, there are ways to overcome these negative feelings and persevere despite it all. Focus on your self-care Self-care is a vital component of living healthily. Furthermore, when you pay attention to that inner voice that tells you that you need to take a break, you become a better version of yourself both personally and professionally because you are, in essence, prioritizing your needs above all else. Moreover, the beauty of self-care is that it can mean anything literally to anyone, depending on what gives you the most joy and brings you the most fulfillment. So, if you’re feeling pushed to the limit, taking some time off to do something just for you could be the remedy you need to feel better instantly. Our home environment is also worth contemplating because we spend most of our time here outside of work hours. On the other hand, maybe you spend most of your time at home because you work from home. Whatever your work situation, your home environment matters significantly in terms of your mental health. As such, it should be conducive to your general wellbeing. Maybe, you’ve let the condition of your home slide a bit because of your busy schedule, and there is far more clutter lying around than you care for. Then perhaps it’s high time to clear out the clutter that’s causing negative energy in your home and organize it better so that it creates a more harmonious and positive environment for you to function at your best. Saying ‘no’ when you need to As a business owner, it can be tempting to do everything yourself. However, this is not always humanly possible and could lead to burnout sooner than you know it. Therefore, learning to say no when you need to (and more often if need be) is one of the easiest ways to restore order in your busy schedule and reduce your stress levels significantly! Get all your ducks in a row Starting a business will require a lot of planning, as you will have to go into detail regarding almost every aspect of your business. If you’re wondering how to set up a new company, a business plan is a crucial element that can help reduce the hassle of remembering every vital part of your business off the top of your head. The ideal business plan also has to have a comprehensive structure that covers all the critical aspects of your company. These critical aspects will include business details such as what services or products you offer, what funding you will need to get your business started going forward, and more. In summary, growing a business takes mental strength and a lot of belief in yourself that you can achieve your dreams despite the many obstacles thrown at you. However, it takes investing in yourself first to have the mental fortitude you need to keep pressing on, come high or low. Resiliency is a key trait of many successful entrepreneurs. When you are resilient, you push, no matter what, no matter how hard it gets. If you need help to become stronger in this area, visit the Eileen McDargh website to discover how you can build true inner strength. Guest author Julie Morris is a life and career coach. She thrives on helping others live their best lives. Today, she is fulfilled by helping busy professionals like her past self-get the clarity they need in order to live inspired lives that fill more than just their bank accounts. When Julie isn’t working with clients, she enjoys writing and is currently working on her first book. She also loves spending time outdoors and getting lost in a good book.

This month, I’ve focused on love relationships between people. But I’d be remiss if I neglected the most challenging person in the relationship—me! Specifically, what is the relationship I have with myself! I just completed an 8-week virtual class with the Modern Elder Academy (MEA) started by Chip Conley, a NY Times bestselling author (Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder). Among other roles, he sits on the Advisory Board of the Stanford Center for Longevity. Many of my readers are like me. We’re at a point in our life where suddenly, we begin to ask : "Is this all there is?” "Am I living a life of significance and contribution?" "Where has my identity become a default position?" "If I am not Eileen, the speaker, and the writer, who am I?" Hard questions. Challenging questions. Critically important questions. As my friend Jana Stanfield, so eloquently sang. "I’m not lost. I’m exploring". Exploration takes time. I can’t sit at the computer and answer email, design programs, and market services day after day. Thus, the months of June and July are being devoted to looking, listening, and seeking. I see myself with my hands open and ready to receive whatever the Universe intends. To be sure, my sweet William and I will journey to explore parts of Alaska. The natural world can offer great insights. I’ll spend one week with my twin brother and sister in our first ever sibling only retreat. We do teach each other and can serve as both mirrors and divining rods. And lastly, I’ll fly to Michigan to be with my soul sister and join her in art studios and lakeside swims. Default is not the way to claim my Act III. Exploration, courage, and action are.

We were married on May 18, 1980—the second marriage for both of us. I came into the union with an old Camaro that was paid for and my grandmother’s crystal. Bill came with three children ages 10, 16 and 19. I can still see their faces grinning at us as we said our vows in St. Michael’s and All Angeles. May 18, 1980—the day that Mt. St Helen’s erupted. No—we did NOT do it. But the love lava has flown continually since that time! Every month since then, we have celebrated on the 18th. Sometimes it was a lovely meal in a restaurant. Sometimes it was a special bottle of wine. And with age, our competition became who could remember FIRST that the date was the 18th. In the pre-Covid Days when I traveled, time zones often gave me the advantage. “Happy Anniversary”, I’d holler into the phone, waking him up at 5:00 am in California but 8:00 am in NYC. Now we’ve become more mellow in our competition and it’s just a matter of smiling and saying the words. But here’s the deal: to say to each other—every month for 41 years—“Happy Anniversary” is a solid reminder of why we are together and to—once again, affirm our commitment to each other. Or I sometimes tease him by whispering, “You can stay for another month”. What might you like to commemorate?

That was the caption I put on a photo I can no longer find because it was before the age of iCloud and digital. But it’s plastered in my brain: Father John Davis, my brother-in-law Noam Pitlik, and my precious Bill walking ahead of my sister and me. They’re headed up a trail in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains above Santa Fe, NM. We’ve come to Santa Fe to celebrate our 10th anniversary and have Father John (now retired in NM) bless us. Down in the town, lilacs are in full bloom and the sun is shining. My dream 10th anniversary is to be surrounded by greenery. However, up in the mountains, it’s cold and there’s not a leaf or a blossom to be found! Amazing how fast you can repeat vows when you’re freezing. We laugh as we scurry down the trail and seek the sun and scent of Santa Fe. Maybe finding humor in place of disappointment is one secret for staying love. What do you think?

May and June seem to be the months when romance blossoms and in-person weddings are coming back into play. But I am reminded that the preamble to love is LIKE. Without LIKE, love doesn’t have much of a chance of settling in. On Saturday, we got a lesson in LIKE from 12-year-old Kai. He moved into our California community from the DC area four months ago. We were concerned that coming mid-year into a pretty established community might cause serious adjustments on his part. However, his huge grin, impish attitude and sparkling eyes apparently captured many buddies. In fact, his parents told us that he was “shipping”. “Shipping, I asked?” “Shipping what? Where? Fed Ex, UPS?” “No,” his mom explained. “It means he has a girlfriend.” We struggled to understand “shipping”, hoping that it didn’t mean serious involvement. Patiently, Mom explained it was what the kids call a relationSHIP, a friendship. Ahhh—SHIPPING! Why not. Starting as friends seems the perfect place to begin. Might not turn into love at age 12 but hey, I think we could all benefit from more “shipping”. Nice way to start May!

As a practicing nurse for over 30 years, I never imagined one day my role would be reversed. On May 16, 2017, I received news that would change my world. I was diagnosed with Early Onset Parkinson’s Disease. As a nurse, I knew a few years before the diagnosis that I probably had Parkinson’s Disease, but I ignored it as I didn’t want to know or admit it. Coming to the realization that I would have Parky (what I refer to my Parkinson’s Diagnosis) as a lifetime companion was difficult. There is no way to sugar coat this devastating realization, but I had to determine how I was going to respond to this chronic condition. Not long after my diagnosis I met Eileen McDargh. She was speaking at a conference on resiliency. I connected with her as she had a granddaughter named Alicia Lynn. That is my name, which is not common. Her work on the topic of resiliency really hit home. She also shares many perspectives and has many tools that have helped me so much in this journey. I am so blessed to have the care team I do. Dr. Sriram and Angela West are amazing! I also interface with Dr. Coleman on a periodic basis who is just as amazing. I do what they recommend, and it works. Most people looking at me have no idea I have a Parkinson’s Diagnosis. Take your meds, exercise/therapy, and a positive attitude are needed to make the best out of life. It is of vital importance that you take care of yourself. I was wired to take care of others. That can be a hard shift to take care of yourself, but you must do it. I worked in the Pediatric Critical Care for so many years and it is evident attitude had a lot to do with how people do with their disease and injuries. Your mental frame of mind impacts how you feel and cope with the challenges encountered with a chronic disease. Gravitate to things that make you happy. I love Snoopy and I found out Charles Schultz had Parkinson’s Disease which makes me love Snoopy all the more. Laugh! I love to watch the comedian Jeff Dunham as he makes me laugh so hard. I do adult coloring which is good hand coordination therapy but is also relaxing. Music is shown to be good for people with Parkinson’s and I listen to Creed as the messages in their songs are good for me. My furry kids, my dogs, are my therapists. I am so blessed with an impressive son and love spending time with him and his new wife when I can. I share these thing as it is important things to do for me. What do you love and what makes you happy? You need to do them While I struggle everyday with memory, anxiety, tremors, feet muscle cramps and stabbing pain in my legs. That will not define my me or impact my outcomes on life. I continue to focus on my blessings. I am blessed with friends, a wonderful team, and support system to get me through this journey. My question for you: What do you love and what makes you happy? Make them a priority, because Joy heals all. My friends with challenges, I hope this brings you blessings. Used with permission from the Adaptabilities Blog – Parkinson’s Awareness Month 4/2022.

Try baby hummingbirds. Consider a tiny dove chick. Or how about the toddler who screams as she runs into the ocean and turns to me with her outstretched arms for a “pick-me-up” demand. It all happened today. And it restored a sense of happiness in my heart. The hummingbird babies are but pea-size bits of fluff. The dove chick has finally shown its little head. And the toddler—well, she's not mine. I was just standing on the beach when she ran to me. Here’s the deal: in the middle of the hatred that divides our nation, the war in Ukraine that rips our hearts out, the climate crisis that brings devastating storms and heat waves, we all need something that reminds us there are positive, uplifting moments. Small? Yes. Essential? Yes. Just enough to take a deep breath and murmur a thank-you. For today.

I am a firm believer that at some point we all must go to the college MSU—Making Stuff Up. When you can’t figure out what action to take try something—anything. As long as you keep the action on a short leash with a short feedback loop and it’s neither illegal nor immoral… proceed! Example: My husband and I were part of a management team that had been awarded a major government contract. Tension was high as we beat out the incumbent contractor with the 750-page RFP I wrote. We were not greeted with open arms except by the employees on base who really did not like working for that contractor. We were regarded with suspicion and—as if to challenge us even more—given an incredibly short time frame to turn the MWR (Morale Welfare & Recreation) components around. We needed all the resiliency and energy we could muster—and it had to be conveyed to some 250 plus employees in a matter of three weeks. The answer: Strawberries. You see, during our intake interviews, we found out from many of the employees that they were constantly kept in the dark, treated poorly, and talked down to. We’re like mushrooms, one manager told me. And you know what mushrooms are covered with! Some angel on my shoulder must have opened my mouth because I heard myself say, We believe in strawberries. They only grow in bright light and each berry is part of an integrated entire plant. That was it. All of us wore strawberry pins. We published a fast newspaper called “Strawberry Shorts” with each department talking about their new vision. The goal was to have everyone market and talk about all the base community functions—boosting up each other. That improvisation became something that none of us would have dreamt possible—a desired future we could not have imagined. Embedded in that strawberry story are the last two resiliency skills: laugh-ability and alignment. These skills are what makes the journey meaningful and dare I say, even fun. This excerpt is from Your Resiliency GPS: A Guide for Growing through Life and Work and is available at Amazon. P.S. It makes a great gift!

As a kid, my favorite thing to do when I got home from school in the then-rural spot of Sandy Springs, GA was to grab an apple and go tromping through the woods with my dog. Seems like I always came back better than when I had left the confines of a school room. To this day, walking my beach, revives my spirit. In reading The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain, the author took clear aim at building a well-researched case for the value of nature to reduce stress, restore mental balance, and increase the ability to focus and pay attention. That’s why recess and outdoor play is so important for children. But do we hop onto the natural daylight and outdoor train every day? My sense is that we don’t. Do we surround ourselves—indoor and out–with greenness, natural color, and plant materials? I would guess not. We can make excuses about the weather, the seasons, and our emphasis on nose-to-the-grindstone requirements. My challenge: just stop it. You can. My brother, in the midst of New England frost and cold, brings into the house yellow forsythia branches. He lights a pine candle and walks outside to feed the birds. It’s not like my beach walk which I’ll take as soon as I finish this post, but it is bringing nature into his environment. Interoception—awareness of our body and what it is saying to us—expands our world and ability to be more than our brain. Movement, gesture, nature are just three areas of the powerful areas explored in The Extended Mind. Do yourself a favor, read it and then tell me what you are doing differently. I can’t wait to hear!

When I taught an English class to 7th graders, literature was easy. Ah—but grammar—that was another matter. In the English language, pronouns are either subjective (she, he, they) or objective ( her, him, them). Without getting into a grammar lesson, objective pronouns follow prepositions. But what the heck are prepositions? The only way to remember prepositions is just that: memorize. Booooooriing!!!! So, I had my students stand up and do hand jive movements while they called out the prepositions: “About, above, across, after …” were shouted out as their hands did a paddy-cake type with a partner. It worked. I never knew why until I read Annie Murphy Paul’s book The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain. In short, cognition is enhanced when coupled with motions of the hands and the rest of the body. Paul’s book extends gestures as critical for persuading or enlisting others. Think of a preacher who just stands behind a pulpit and reads to the congregation, versus another preacher who gesticulates often and probably strides around an altar. Catalina just turned one. Her dad told me that she points to things as he says the word. And we all know that pick me up is one of a child’s first gestures. Not only do children expand vocabulary when words are accompanied with gestures—but adults are more likely to be engaged and understand complex topics when gestures are used! Fascinating, yes? For years, I have anchored key learning points with gestures. I ask my audience to make the gestures with me while they repeat the point. Might sound juvenile, but people tell me years later how they used that gesture in many settings. Here’s the point: If you want someone to grasp ideas, solve problems, and increase understanding—think of ways your hands might tell the story. Yes—hands down, the hands win when communicating.