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- Six Traits That Characterize Career Resilience
"With fingers crossed, it seems that employment levels are beginning to shift. Companies are starting to hire again. This guest post might prove helpful in evaluating candidates." – Eileen McDargh Imagine a scenario where you have hired an employee . The employee's qualifications seem great on paper, but then in 2020, after the COVID19 pandemic hit, they're unable to cope with the setback that it caused them. That's where career resilience comes in. It's the ability to overcome barriers and adapt to change or look for solutions to problems when they arise, all with a positive outlook. It's important to assess emotional intelligence traits like career resilience when you hire a candidate for any position; otherwise, despite their outstanding qualifications and impressive skills, they might not be able to cope with a high-pressure work environment. Here’s what hiring managers can find in recruiting resilient employees: Resilient employees remain focused and motivated to achieve their career goals, even when things are difficult. They can spot patterns under challenging situations, understand how they work, and turn them into opportunities. They don't let past bad experiences get in the way of their future goals. They are ready to keep upgrading their skills and learn more if and when the job demands. Here are essential attributes of career resilience that should be considered when hiring a potential recruit for a job: 1. The potential recruit has an optimistic outlook Optimists view the glass half full, and cynics view the glass half empty. But that's not all that separates optimists from pessimists. When confronted with a problematic situation, cynics might feel overwhelmed, helpless, and not understand how they would overcome an obstacle. That's when an optimistic outlook helps you focus on finding a solution for the problem and not just ruminate on how bad things are around you. This trait will help a potential recruit cope with new unforeseen challenges at work in the future. 2. The potential recruit is ready to learn new skills even if they seem difficult The way we typically work went through a significant change in 2020 because of the COVID19 pandemic. Employees had to adapt, innovate, upgrade their skill set when they started working from home. To deal effectively with this change, it is essential to learn a new skill set for dealing with new challenges. Career resilience can be seen when professionals can learn new skills or upgrade and improve their existing ones. When you possess a unique skill set, your perspective changes, and you spot connections that you have never noticed before. 3. The potential recruit looks at the big picture The potential recruit must have a vision for what their plan for their future is and how their career goals align with those of the organization. They must have a vision of how they want their whole life to look like and how they're going to grow their career and cope with obstacles if they come in the way. 4. The potential recruit must have patience It's easy to get frustrated when there's no solution to a problem at work, and it's easier just to shrug your shoulders and give up. It's essential to have patience and not give up on trying to develop solutions for a problem. There are a few bad eggs in every organization. It's also essential for employees to have the patience to deal with unpleasant coworkers or bad clients and try to think of a workaround of working with them instead of giving up. 5. The potential recruit wants to improve themselves constantly The ability to adapt and mold oneself in the face of change also prevents people from being stuck in difficult situations. Unless the employee is okay with understanding and evaluating how they're dealing with problems and trying to identify and change unhelpful thought patterns that don't help them then they won't be able to cope with a high-pressure job. 6. The potential recruit helps out colleagues and has strong relationships with them While it is great that your potential recruit is ambitious and really works hard at their job, they must be a team player as well. It is important to be aware of their past relationships with colleagues in previous organizations they have worked with. Did they have a good working relationship with their colleagues? Were they okay in helping their colleagues out when they were stuck? This shows if the employee can work in a team — without stepping on anyone's toes. An ability to help people around you also shows a sign of security, empathy and confidence in one's skills. No matter what skills and qualifications a potential employee might bring to the table, they will not be able to succeed unless they're resilient and show high emotional intelligence so that they can deal with pressure. About Kelly Barcelos Kelly Barcelos is a progressive digital marketing manager for Jobsoid – Applicant Tracking System. She is responsible for leading the content and social media teams at work. Her expertise and experience in the field of HR enable her to create value-driven content for her readers – both on Jobsoid’s blog and other guest blogs where she publishes content regularly.
- Can You Be Too Optimistic?
How can you talk about resilience without also talking about optimism?” Great question and a valid point. Except for one thing. Reality. According to Ronald Siegel, an assistant professor of psychology, part-time, at Harvard Medical School and medical editor of the Harvard Special Health Report, Positive Psychology, assuming either an optimistic or pessimistic view of a situation is to ignore reality. For example, Covid-19 is real and one would be foolhardy to either think you are going to get it and die or that you will never get it and so can ignore all precautions. I prefer to focus on intelligent optimism. To begin with, consider all options that are available to you: Where is your point of control? Resilient people find multiple ways of responding to a situation. You might not like all the options, but you DO have them. If you feel stuck, ask a friend to help you brainstorm as many options as possible. When have you faced a difficult situation in the past and you got through it? What helped you get through it? What internal strength and wisdom did you discover about yourself? It’s still there, inside you. Remember to live in the present moment. When your brain races to either the worse possible outcome or skips into a field of proverbial flowers like a cockeyed optimist, you’ve missed TODAY. The future doesn’t exist. What gives meaning to your life? When you lose your WHY, you lose your way. Clarity about WHY you are on this earth offers an anchor for whatever happens around you. If you can’t figure out your WHY, your purpose, I can help. I can take you through a process to help identify that WHY. Send me an e-mail eileen@eileenmcdargh.com and we’ll talk.
- Top Ten Resiliency Tips for Leading in Chaos
Imagine if you could create a top-10 list of practical, actionable ideas to help you and your team grow resilience. Your wait is over: read these and share widely. I’d love to hear your reaction! Tip #10: Stop re-arranging the deck chairs. The greatest problem with change is that no one wants to admit that it can happen to them. Be honest about potential downturns and get ready. Don’t create the doomsday, hand-wringing scenarios but ones that are well thought-out with a plan of action in your back pocket. Contingency is the name of the game. It’s rather like a fire drill. If you don’t have a plan, you can burn up! Tip #9: Go with what “brung ya.” My great-grandfather always said that what he knew was “shoes”. He didn’t know how to publish books, how to sell pigs feet, or how to make a car. He stuck to what he knew: shoes. Since 1880, Reineberg’s Shoe Store has served the folks of York, PA. In an era where companies come and go, my family has stuck to what they know: shoes! It’s a simple testament to focus, to listening to the customers, to not speculating about acquisitions and mergers that make no sense from a resident knowledge base. Build your core and play to win from that strength. Tip #8: Stop reading and listening to “the news”. A steady dose of downturns, depressing statistics, gloomy forecasts, and shrill broadcasters can have anyone running for cover. Beside, it’s a waste of productive time to constantly be checking stock prices. Find one trusted source, listen or read it once, and then—GET ON WITH IT! What will you chose to do now to advance today? So much of resiliency is a mental trip—a mindset that says “Yes I can” regardless of all the “No you can’t” pundits. Positive presumption has moved football teams and armies. It can move you. Tip #7: Fire up. Don’t flame out. Exhausted teams can’t carry a ball, a race, or an Olympic flag. Make sure that what you ask yourself and your team to do has clear implication for the future—and not just some exercise in futility that is done “because it’s the way we’ve always done it.” This is a great time to streamline, to examine procedures, to throw out and to straighten up. Fire people up with possibilities and stories of hope. Can you make a vision real? Meaningful? Everyone needs that picture. No one hops out of bed to give shareholders a greater return on their investment. As Seth Godin writes, “Can you imagine Apple founder Steve Job showing up for a paycheck?” Not a chance. He showed up for something he believes in. Tip #6 Court and carry your valued customers. It is far too easy to lose valued customers if price and financial returns are the only basis for building a long-term relationship. Protect your customers now by asking what you can do to help them. Maybe they can’t buy your product or services now—but you might be able to offer something else. Or maybe, throw in a lagniappe—a little bit more. Tip #5 Communicate without ceasing. In the absence of information, people often connect the dots in the most pathological way possible. Transparency and honesty are keys in keeping people connected and calm. How much better it is to know what we face together and what is being done than to guess and gossip about situations. Tip #4 Celebrate small wins. When times are tough, we need a daily dose of encouragement. What would happen if you ended each day on a positive note? What would happen if you closed by mentally congratulating yourself on what you did do? Tip #3: Do what others are not willing to do. Look for innovation. Train employees. Yes, spend money. Wisely. That’s what your competition is not doing. If you focus on quality instead of cutting corners, you will be poised to come out on top. Let any pain be felt from the top first. Too many organizations and government agencies solve budget deficits by going after “the little guys” first. Big mistake. Remember when Chrysler CEO Iacocca took $1 in salary? Employee and customer admiration and loyalty resulted. Tip #2: Upsize your way to greatness. This is definitely what few will do. But cutting into muscle and bone only makes the corporate body ill equipped to re-enter the business arena when the economy improves. While others must build back bench strength and start from scratch, you are ready because you have been training and hiring for this moment. Consider encouraging older employees to take half-time retirement so they can pass along knowledge to newer and younger employees. It might be the perfect time to upgrade your skills. Tip #1: Say thank you. Nothing attracts supporters like positive energy. When times are tough, staying positive seems like a hard battle. Gratitude is the key. The work conducted at the University of Pennsylvania by Dr. Martin Seligman underscores the value of expressing gratitude on a daily basis. Studies of character strength in tens of thousands of people across the U.S. have shown that feeling and practicing gratitude is the single strongest predictor of satisfaction with life. Find three people each day and tell them why you are grateful for them. Write down three “gratitudes” each night in a journal. You’ll sleep better. In the words of philosopher Howard Zinn, “To have hope one doesn’t need certainty, only possibility.” Here’s to the possibility of a transformed and brighter tomorrow. If you need support for getting through tough times read my book “Your Resiliency GPS: A Guide for Growing through Life".
- Resiliency Requires Viewing Points
Seeing the world in only one direction limits our options. I viewed the film The Reunited States and was so taken by the honesty and courage it portrayed, I wrote a review. This is the letter I received back from the film’s director: In the United States, we tell proud stories of getting it done by ourselves, on our own. But the truth is, we also need each other. We are stronger together. And last week's disaster in Texas brings that home. Millions of people lost power in the face of bitter cold. Many survived because neighbors opened their homes or shared food. A young woman in Austin helped her elderly neighbor, taking her to stay in a warm place. Churches and convention centers became warming centers. Imagine if every day we had the kind of connection with our family and neighbors that we had this week. That we have during every natural disaster, when the basic goodness of human beings re-emerges. What can we do to foster that awareness of connection in our lives? One powerful tool we can use is to watch The Reunited States and discuss what comes up with family and friends. We can extend that into a practice of engaging in conversations with folks who disagree with us. Here’s where you can find the film. But don’t take our word for it. Look at what the world is saying from our first week in release in the video below. We are honored and humbled to see the film connecting with the hearts of so many people. If you want to feel hopeful and inspired about the state of our country, we encourage you to watch the film with friends or family to recognize our own role in how we move forward together. And, if you do watch and are moved by the film, please review The Reunited States on Amazon. You'll help its message expand and reach more folks. Together we can change this country, one conversation at a time. Sincerely, Ben Director Ben Rekhi & The Reunited States Impact Team
- Promote Resilience With Adaptability Skills
Security rests in adaptability. Our current uncertain times can either freeze us from action, or create a space where we strengthen our ability to adapt. Remember, survival is based on "requisite variety". That's a fancy biological term that basically means the organism that has the greatest number of responses to a situation has the greater chance of surviving. Watts Wacker, a noted futurist, offers things we can do to gain more options for ourselves: Learn to be a better listener. You don't learn when you are talking. Read a trade magazine from a different industry. Find two things in every issue that relate to your business. Let your kids tutor you in a subject they know more about than you do. Volunteer, and see the world through a different window. Read what has stood the test of time—great books help reframe your thinking While I am not a noted futurist, I can add actions to provide you with more options: Examine your “current” situation from the eyes of someone else. It doesn’t have to be someone you know but rather someone you admire. How would Mother Teresa respond? How about Coach Lou Holtz? Maybe an author? In 30 words or less, state what is going on and ask a trusted colleague for their response. You can only respond to them by asking clarifying questions. You are not to argue. Your role is to listen and say, “thank you.” In deciding a response, what is the worst thing that can happen? The best thing? Now decide what action to take. Charles Darwin had it right when he said, “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.”
- The Power of NOW to Create Resilience
When we are young, we feel that time is on our side. Not anymore. Our days are a blur of perceived demands from workplaces stretched beyond the leading edge to the bleeding edge, from technology that allows others to locate us even in the privacy of our cars and bathrooms, from children and aging parents who name us and claim us, and from our inability to find options for creating mind sets and actions that can give us a modicum of breathing space and control. We can all sing the chorus: “There’s too much to do and too little time.” We have created a commodity worth of the Stock Exchange: Time. We spend it, lose it, waste it, and manage it. We’re told to make time, use time, take time and, if we’ve had a run-in with the law, we might even “do” time. Time is the great equalizer, given in singular 24-hour chunks by the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon. No money can buy it, no power can hold it, no army can stop it. We need to concentrate on winning back our life -- snatching it away from the blur of to-do lists, technology, and work/life pressures. Four Truths The more I ponder time demands, I realize four truths: Truth 1: Simplicity isn’t simple. It’s an admirable, essential goal that most of us are working on. Simplicity takes time and requires an agreement from all those impacted by its requirements. We’ve been given day-to-day wisdom to follow in realizing the already-present abundance without adding to our closet, our bank account, our larder. Truth 2: The technology genie will not go back into the bottle. Once released, our challenge becomes to wisely choose when we access technology’s power. The seductiveness of thinking we are so important that people must find us any time, any place, for any matter is ego at its worst. Consider my experience with a man who brought his computer and cellular phone along on a four-day cruise. He was not present. He missed the experience. And, I think, he lost. Truth 3: Time management creates order and structure. It does not create present moment awareness. I’m not concerned with “managing time” as much as I am for discovering how to make better choices for what we put in these blocks called “time.” This is not about finding the latest time-saving devices. We all have a plethora of these. Too often, they’ve become excuses for letting us cram our life with longer to-do lists. We end up working harder and longer. What I want to have us consider is taking control, finding personal empowerment in our work, lives, lifestyles, and relationships. It’s about finding more life in our years and more years in our life. We do not have extra time, but we do have discretionary energy and creativity. And we can learn to be present in the moment. Truth 4: Being present takes practice. As children, we felt we had command of our day, at least until bedtime. Summers stretched into hide-aways, street games, lightening bug hunts, marshmallows over campfires, and inner tubes in pools. What would happen if we could capture, practice, and re-frame the present so that at the end of a day, a week, or year, we felt like we have lived life -- with it’s joys and sorrows -- in a manner of our choosing? Plenty. How to Get Started Here are two examples of what you can do to be here now: 1. Create a sacred space for regrouping. This could be your car, your bathroom, your backyard. When you enter this space, ban anything that distracts your attention from simply breathing and noticing your surroundings. 2. Try and discover something you have never seen or heard before. There will always be something. This is like any exercise. The regular practice will allow you to stop at any given moment and be in control, centered, and observant. Keep a journal, and joy a few words of some event, person, experience or observation that struck you as meaningful. This is part of being in the now. Being present means seeing with new eyes and looking beyond the obvious to that metaphorical magic which takes an event in time and earmarks it as a memory. By collecting these moments and capturing them in word or picture, at the end of a year, you’ll be amazed at how much you have won by being present. You have won back a portion of your life.
- Reframing Change for Opportunity and Resilience
I recently discovered writing I did in my 2013 retreat journal. The words seem so appropriate now for these conflicted and challenging times. Here’s what I read: I write this as the sun slowly sets behind the Channel Islands that loom out from the Santa Barbara coast. From my desk on the second floor of this retreat center, I see the mountain behind me turn into deeper shades of gray green and black. Soon, an almost full moon will rise and create havoc with my star gazing from the bench in the ancient oak grove. So far… looks like nothing has changed but… For the first time in 13 years, I couldn’t take the 4-mile trek to the top of my mountain. Mountain lion sightings are posted and the warnings read “Don’t hike alone. No small dogs. No children. Carry rocks in your pockets.” Rocks? The climb is hard enough!! Go with someone? Never found anyone crazy enough to come with me. No children? Ummm—I might be an entrée size for the big cat. CHANGE of plans! It felt strange, uncomfortable, and somewhat silly to substitute power walks up winding roads for the hidden beauty of live oaks, creeks, and hardscrabble rocks. But there was an alternative. I saw plants I had never seen, smiled at folks I would never have encountered, and still felt reasonably justified in my exercise to sit the rest of the day and write. Now to current times. CHANGE. For most of us, we enter 2021 facing massive change. The routes we thought were safe for our investments have been severely compromised. Our jobs might have vanished or been reduced. Industries are shattered. We pin our hopes on a new Administration to lead us out of this horrid mess. Truth be told, unless we remember the Depression, we’re faced with a never-before-seen-scenario that feels uncomfortable, strange, and –if we let it—downright frightening. What do we do about this? Yes—WE. WE all hold some small piece of a solution. No one person is going to hold our hand and take us another route. We must find alternatives to what had become so routine. We must greet each other on the way and share whatever we’ve learned. We must stop dwelling on the past, on blame, on wistful thinking, on wayward mountain lions and instead focus on what CHANGE can be made. Won’t feel the same. Won’t look the same. But if we face CHANGE together, the walk into the future might astound us with amazing possibilities.
- Resilience Goes Down - Not Out
At a recent virtual meeting where I was one of three panelists, innovation expert and author of Invisible Solutions , Stephen Shapiro, challenged my notion. I suggested that the crazy world crafted by this pandemic might require us to pivot, to move out in other directions. Seemed logical since adaptability is a key to resilience. “Don’t pivot”, Stephen insisted, “divot”. I’m a horrid golfer. I’ve sent clods of earth called divots further than the golf ball. So the notion of going down into the proverbial ground made no sense to me. Until Stephen explained. “When we pivot, we move from what we know, what we offer in our work, and what clients and customers we serve. We might look for the next bright, shiny object. We move outwards instead of going deeper with our offering. Building longer term relationships and strengthening our body of knowledge makes more sense than changing course—unless our work is headed toward oblivion with new technology.” NOW I understood. It makes great sense from both a business and a relationship standpoint. In fact, I just signed up for a 36-hour intensive course on Interpersonal Neurobiology. I will be adding coaching/training modules that are critical to moving from burnout to breakthrough and building resilience. The training: Discover Your WHY . I will, however, insist that there is one core piece to keep in mind. If you still decide to pivot, remember to remain planted in what must never change: your values. OK. I’m off to practice my divots. PS: Beyond a blog post!!!! Let me create a virtual resilience presentation for you and your team. We can do a live virtual session or I can craft a pre-recorded session—customized to your audience!!! Time for all of us to refuel, recharge and reclaim what matters. We can play bigger in a world of possibilities for world of difference. Contact me to discuss at eileen@eileenmcdargh.com .
- Forget Resolutions: Try Intentions
My annual practice on New Year’s has been to set up goals for the coming 365 days. Sometimes it includes large vision boards. You know the drill: specifics about projects, weight loss, trips to take, how much income to make (if you are a consultant like I am), etc. But for 2021, making any type of specific plans in this incredible time of uncertainty seems—well—uncertain. My sense is that what I am called to do now is to create intentions instead. An intention is a general statement without any specifics about how to do it, what it would look, and where it would be. In short, my intentions are to remain open, awake, and ready for whatever might present itself as a possibility to grow (a hallmark of resilience) and learn. Here is my intention: To embrace joy and move outward as I craft an ACT III of love, laughter, contribution and prosperity. In short, to play bigger in a world of possibilities for a world of difference. What does it actually look like? I have no idea. But I am open. This is what I do know: I believe that inspiring people to unleash the energy that brings their best selves forward is my calling in life. How I do this is by offering a better way to craft work and life by design and not default. What I bring is a simple way to build resilience, inspire hope, and find joy in the process. I also believe that as this year unfolds, there are three personal characteristics that invite me to expand: courage, patience and gratitude. I invite you to think about your intentions and what personal characteristics you wish to develop. Let me know how I can support you on the journey. Oh yes, here’s also another intention for all of us. It is a name that the ancient Cochimi Indians gave to an albino whale that came to San Ignacio Lagoon in the southern Baja peninsula: Kuyima. It means “light in the darkness”. That’s a task for all of us to embrace for 2021! I am eager to hear from you!
- How to Cultivate Your Super-Power: Resilience
Let’s be perfectly clear. For most of us, 2020 was a sh$%#@ show. That’s why resilience is the acknowledged buzzword for the year that has finally closed. While I despise the term “buzzword” and its implication that resilience is a fad, we can’t ignore the reality that resilience is touted in everything from news reports to television shows. So let’s get it straight: The traditional notion that resilience comes into play only when faced with adversity is inaccurate along with the common definition that resilience means to bounce back. First, resilience is a life skill that is cultivated through energy management. It’s not about gritting one’s teeth and hanging on but rather, being able to function and grow through whatever is the current situation. Frankly, research indicates that about two-thirds of people cope relatively well and for most, can endure and learn. What makes resilience a challenge is the chronic stress that appears unremitting in a Covid-19 world. It’s a world that has also managed to destroy families, livelihoods, and increased exposure to domestic abuse not to mention fractured friendships, fractured education, and fractured communities. So how does one cultivate this superpower of resilience? Can it indeed be cultivated like a garden that required, seeding, weeding, and feeding? Yes. And it is a daily activity that involves the acknowledgement of all emotions, including anger, tears and frustration. Here are the first five steps: Be realistic about where your energy is going and cut yourself some slack. Seek flexibility in your actions, taking advantage of whatever resources are at your disposal. Ask yourself what is the best thing to do in this moment? Whether it's taking a walk, breathing deeply for five minutes, or asking for help, personal honesty is essential. Are you helping yourself or harming yourself right now? Seek out and nurture your support systems. It’s amazing how Zoom calls have re-ignited relationships. It takes courage to reach out but the results are powerful. Set small goals that can give you a sense of achievement or completion. When so much of life seems out-of-control, being able to check off an activity, high-five a result, or give yourself a proverbial gold star, there’s assurance that you are moving forward. For 2021, here is what I am working on to increase my resilience. Specifically, I am determined to feed my spirit by focusing on being energized by life rather than drained by circumstances, events and others. Through my writing, speaking, coaching and facilitating, I seek to help others turn fear into fascination, curiosity into creativity, boredom into brilliance, and wisdom into worthwhile work. If you need help building your resilience muscles consider one of my books on the topic: Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience To Refuel, Recharge, and Reclaim What Matters and Your Resiliency GPS: A Guide for Growing through Life.
- Bouncing Forward In The Face Of Adversity
Nothing like starting off the New Year with a new book—particularly after the pandemic that has everyone struggling with work, family, and how to create and maintain relationships in the face of mask requirements and maintaining physical distance. Imagine if you are an author with a new book about the power of smiling at strangers. Yikes! What if you are ready to send out the manuscript and the world suddenly implodes? Wearing masks and keeping a distance? How do you know if anyone is smiling? I’d call that “adversity”. For this very reason, I am delighted to introduce you to Nancy Lewis, author of Smiling at Strangers: How One Introvert Discovered the Power of Being Kind . She is proof-positive that one can take lemons and make lemonade! Enjoy! ---------- In early 2020, I was well into the process of writing, publishing, and planning a summer for book promotion and marketing. My book was written to encourage others—particularly shy introverts like me—to move beyond their fear of strangers by offering the kindness of acknowledgment through smiles and simple greetings in everyday situations and locations such as shopping venues and encounters on streets and trails. But thanks to Covid-19, the timing for publishing such a book couldn’t have been worse. I had the perfect excuse to stop. But something in me knew I was supposed to do this. After some soul searching, and with more than a little help from my friends who were determined that I would do it, I was ready to push the button. I was ready to send the manuscript to the publisher, knowing it would be released six months later and in a different season than I had planned. As if to underscore my decision, in early December Arianna Huffington declared resilience as “the word of the year”. I recognized it as the precise word that describes how I got from “no way” to “I’ll find a way”. In her article, Huffington stated, “Resilience is often spoken about . . . in terms of navigating or simply getting through challenges. But the key part of resilience isn’t about bouncing back, it’s about bouncing forward. It’s about using adversity as a catalyst to get better and become stronger.” Bouncing forward in the face of adversity. Here is what I determined would be my updated message to my readers: When the virus announced its presence on the planet as we moved into a new decade, I was making plans to launch the book in my hometown of Bellingham, Washington, in late spring, and use it to spark a local kindness movement fueled by fellow introverts. Normally, this is the time when Pacific Northwest residents come out of hibernation from the short days and wet gray of winter and begin hitting the streets, shops, parks, and wooded trails, where encounters with strangers are common. Instead, spring brought with it a global pandemic that restricted our presence in public settings except for purchasing food and other necessary supplies while maintaining six feet of distance, marked with tape on store floors. So I put a hold on the publication and book launch plans, assuming it wasn’t a time to release a book advocating face-to-face connection with strangers. Then something happened . . . As I made my forays into food stores to replenish supplies, I noticed that while some people seemed intent on getting in and out with as little interaction with others as possible, some were finding ways to connect and offer kindnesses to strangers. Like the man who noticed I’d left my cloth shopping bags in the bottom of my cart when the checker said they’d been instructed to pack all purchases in paper bags. Allowing kindness to overcome fear, the man followed me out to the parking lot and knocked on the window of my car, holding up the bags so I could lower the window enough to receive them. While walking through the park that borders my apartment complex, I was surprised at the increase in vocal greetings I got from others as we passed one another (while wearing our masks and maintaining safe social distance). I soon learned that a “hi” or “good morning” and a raised hand communicated a shared acknowledgment of our connection. Social creatures that we are, and kind at heart, many of us have found ourselves adapting and finding ways to “smile” at each other in creative and joyful ways. Whether it’s singing from our balconies or porches together, organizing drive-by birthday celebrations, meeting neighbors who have been strangers for years as we’ve been busy engaging ourselves in the outside world, or having Zoom calls with distant friends and relatives, connection is happening. Perhaps, I thought, this is the perfect time to remind people of what our hearts know. The perfect time to reinforce the message of our essential human need to acknowledge and connect with one another—strangers, friends, and family—through gestures of simple kindness like those my book suggests and illustrates. Although the world in which it was written isn’t the one into which it is being birthed, the call to join in creating a kinder and gentler world has never been more urgent. Let’s do this together. Resilience. The seed that became Smiling at Strangers was planted in 1955, when its author, Nancy Lewis, received a surprise award for Excellence in English at the Senior Awards Ceremony of her high school in New London, Connecticut. Nancy remembers telling her mother the next morning, "Someday I'm going to write a book. But first I have to get some life experience." Six decades of life experience later, at the age of 80, she began to write that book. The intervening "experience" has included marriage to a life partner, two sons, five grandchildren, college and university degrees, employment as an English teacher, librarian, and freelance editor, and residence in six states plus British Columbia. She currently lives with her husband Richard in Bellingham, Washington, where she continues to look for opportunities to offer smiles and small kindnesses to strangers. You can find her on her website Smiling At Strangers .
- The Grace of New Beginnings: Your Resilience Mindset for 2021
Coming out of a year that had more horrific events than one could imagine, it’s not easy to think of 2020 as grace-filled. And yet, as I watched the sunset New Year’s Eve, color spread in fantastic patterns across the sky. The day had been cold and windy. And yet—now we were given a display of nature’s magnificence. Day is done. Closed. Tomorrow awaits: NEW. What gives me hope and optimism for tomorrow is recalling the kindness of strangers, the re-connection with long-ago friends, and the reward of smiles and waves. Nicole Carroll, Editor-in-Chief for USA TODAY, closed her year with a series of uplifting stories captured by reporters covering everything from Sports to the Supreme Court, from Life to Science. The stories weren’t restrained by the reporter’s beats but rather because they looked wider for what captured hearts.** Consider the Chicago reporter who found a 23 year-old who had been laid off her fast-food job. But being jobless didn’t stop Jennifer Tennyson from organizing love marches and setting up sidewalk tables to give free household goods to folks in neighborhoods hit hard by COVID-19, violence and economic fallout. Then there were legions of doctors, nurses and physical therapists who came here as undocumented children and were “Dreamers”. Yet they served patients, often without protective equipment, not knowing if they’d be deported. (Thankfully, the “Dreamers” won a 5-4 decision from the Supreme Court and in December, a federal judge ordered the program fully restored.) There was the British army veteran who celebrated his 100th birthday while walking 100 laps around his garden to raise $1,250 for National Health Service staff and volunteers. The story went viral and Captain Sir Thomas Moore went on to raise $44 million. As he told the BBC, it’s for “the brave and super doctors and nurses we have got. They deserve every penny.” And not to be outdone, Editor Carroll wrote of becoming a little teary when she heard Dr. Anthony Fauci tell a reporter that Santa was immune from the virus. “Santa is exempt because of all the good qualities has a lot of good innate immunity.” Phew. Little kids didn’t have to be worried when the nation’s leading expert on COVID-19 took time to reassure them. Here’s the point. Live just one day at a time. Ask what is ONE thing you might do to brighten another’s day, to find a kernel of optimism for yourself, to go to sleep with a smile. We can begin: TODAY. **Google USA TODAY Dec 31 and the headline: A panda cub, a beer, other moments of hope












