For days now, these few words from this classic Kris Kristofferson song, Me & Bobbie McGee, spinning repeatedly through my brain. It’s really been bugging me. And why these words? Why now? Why me? Could loss actually free us? Could we be imprisoned by material choices, by relationships, by work that pays the bills but leaves a hole in our spirit, maybe even by memories? I’m beginning to think that it does. Long ago and far away I came out to California with only what would fit in the trunk of a Chevy Camero.  If you remember a Camero, that sure wasn’t much! I rented a tiny garage apartment and bought a used sofa for $25. My sister gave me four place settings of old dishes and silverware. I had two sets of sheets and two sets of towels. I had left behind, in Florida, a house with Ethan Allen furniture, a tennis court in the backyard, and a broken marriage. I have never felt so free! Simplicity makes choice so easy. In light of the current economic realities, I’m being reminded that owning stuff can be a burden. My July 4th has me thinking what I can discard so as to have more freedom. A good friend just got laid off after 30 years. Only has enough money for maybe three months. Her husband is in construction and she has twin six year-olds. Many of us would be in deep depression. But Marian is ecstatic! “It’s my time now to pursue what I really want to do!”  She is convinced that now she can actively pursue her dreams instead of being tied to a job she had grown to despise. She knows it won’t be easy but the energy and enthusiasm with her newfound freedom is propelling her efforts. (She’ll tell you about Arbonne!) My July 4th finds me recommitting  to accepting only that work which feeds my spirit and not just the bank account. Up the road, my 94-year-old mother continues her progression into memory loss. She’s no longer haunted by mistakes and failures.  She doesn’t remember the pain of a broken hip, the repeated trips to the emergency room, or even the numerous hospitalizations. Instead, she’s free to experience only the moment and make it what ever she wants. So she can tell me that she was walking on the beach the other day. Her wheelchair belies that statement, but who cares? She says that down the hall is someone from York, Pennsylvania. She just doesn’t know who it is. She’s free to make up friends. My July 4 reminds me that the only memory is in the moment and I can choose to make it whatever I want. That’s freedom. And of course, one cannot come to this day without remembering the loss of men and women who have given life and limb to give us the ultimate freedom: a land where we can choose our destiny.

The flight left on time, winging its way to Portland for a brief  touchdown and then off to Juneau for our 30th wedding anniversary.  Glacier Bay. We will pick up a 24-passenger boat.  A naturalist. One  week. Kayaking. Hiking. AND... NO computer or email . YAHHOOO! If you travel at all, you know that flying has its own built in  stresses that can set the tone for any trip.  Thankfully, we were on  Alaska Airlines with Beth. Beth greeted every passenger with a smile and helped folks get their  luggage stored. (On today’s flights-this is NOT an easy task). She  paused to talk and beamed when I told her the reason for the flight  AND that we’d have a special, short visit with our GRANDdaughters. We  told her we always brought them the little snack mix packet they handed out aboard. In a heartbeat she was back, dumping 10 little snack packs on the lap.  “Here, she said.” “Take these to the children.” It was then that I looked closer at her official name tag, BETH.  But what  caught my eye was the one underneath it.  Same official bronze tag.  Only this one said: “committed to kindness.” I raised my eyebrow and pointed to the words. “My manager watched me work and figured that this was what I was all about so she made me this name tag.” Beth smiled. “It so touched me. I realize I cannot have a bad day when I look down and see the tag.  Just  can’t be wearing it unless I practice it. So—I buck up and forge ahead into whatever kind of day we are having.” What a concept. When Beth’s manager called out this virtue to her, she created a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Made me wonder if all of us were given little name tags that said “committed to kindness” would we change? If even a small percentage of us acted on that notion, our work, our families and our community might be different. I’ll see if I can practice this in Alaska. On the ship. On the plane.  And hopefully, when we circle back to the “real” world of work. Does your organization need help making staff feel treasured? Consider my "The Power of Engagement: Crafting Connections That Count For People Who Matter" topic and I'll customize it for your audience.

Real leadership never starts with a title or a position on an organizational chart. Rather, it begins because one feels something could be made better. It might start as a resolve that comes from a tragedy (i.e., Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)  or an effort that comes from a creative concept for improvement (i.e., Apple, the Obama campaign). What is does take is courage, consistency, and commitment.  My sister, Susan Mullins, has these attributes in spades! For the past three years, Susan has spent, literally, a couple thousand hours establishing, developing, and leading a new community organization in her Los Angeles County Nichols Canyon neighborhood to improve safety, communication, and a real sense of community. More than 400 households have joined the Upper Nichols Canyon Neighborhood Association (UNC) and participated in a range of activities both in the immediate area and in the larger Hollywood community of Los Angeles. This has included: Creating the UNC Neighborhood Emergency Preparedness Task Force. Creating the Public Safety Committees which together certified 40 neighbors in CPR and licensed 15 Ham radio operators. Having eight residents formally trained as Community Emergency Response Team members. Establishing a model Neighborhood Watch program that has proven very effective. Susan also took a leadership role in events such as putting together food and clothing drives for "People Assisting The Homeless" and "Food for Change." She crafted a major Los Angeles Fire Department Evacuation Drill with 500 participants in the canyon. Officials said they were astounded and gratified by the numbers who participated—all of which served as great learning exercises for both the citizens and the fire department. Part of Susan's work also included forming working partnerships with local law enforcement and various city agencies and organizations. She hosted education sessions with these agencies so that residents could learn everything from emergency procedures to how to keep neighbors safe. This week Susan was presented with the 2011 Centurion Award from the Peace Officers Association of Los Angeles County—an association made up of all the law enforcement agencies from local city Police Departments throughout LA County, Sheriffs, Highway Patrol, ATF, FBI, city, county and state attorneys. This award is for Outstanding Achievement in the Area of Community Partner.  It is the only "civilian" award this group gives in this county with a population of more than ten million people. Winners are chosen by a judging panel that reviews nominations submitted by all their law enforcement member agencies. The Los Angeles Police Department Hollywood Division nominated Susan. While my sister would say that she attributes the success of her efforts to the involvement of many other people, the truth of the matter is that it took one person to conceive, organize and guide it: Susan. What is the place that troubles your heart?  Where might you jump in and take the lead?  Or, who is your “Susan” that could use an assist in making work, family, or a community better.

According to Wikipedia transformational leadership is an approach that is defined as leadership that creates valuable and positive change in the followers with the end goal of developing followers into leaders. A transformational leader focuses on "transforming" others to help each other, to look out for each other, to be encouraging and harmonious, and to look out for the organization as a whole.  What can you do today to change your leadership style to be more transformational?  How can you work with people in a different way to help them develop their leadership skills?

If you find yourself completely stressed at work then The Daily Mind has a solution for you.  So many people spend too many hours at work and then take more work home with them.  The meditation exercise at The Daily Mind helps you disconnect from work enough to help you relax.  Read the entire article here.

Every once in awhile, there comes a story that reminds me that I must learn new skills despite loss and also discover better responses to the vagaries of a world that often seems upside down. Max came to my brother and his family five years ago from the Yankee Golden Retriever Rescue League.  Max was recuperating from a major ACL surgery on his left rear leg when they adopted him and he spent the first months with them learning to walk again. A year ago last month, this lovable Golden was diagnosed with an osteo-sarcoma in his left front leg, forcing amputation.  The surgery and chemo bought him another year during which time, John and his family watched him joyfully and bravely learn to be as fast on three legs as he ever was on four. In fact, on one memorable walk up the seminary hill he even ran down his first squirrel.  The squirrel lived to have bragging rights, but Max was awfully proud of himself.  He also had the pleasure of this past winter’s snow in which he delighted to roll -  part husky at heart . Two weeks ago, they found that the cancer had reappeared as a rapidly growing tumor in his left rear leg and so he ended his time with his family as he began it, but in reverse, learning to manage increasing disability.  Finally this morning it became painfully clear that all his body systems were collapsing -  his hind quarters had ceased to function at all and he had become incontinent . When he passed up a hot dog with the pain medication they knew it was time.  My brother John, Tim and Sasha, with some effort got him into the car and took him to Angel Memorial.  For the second time in seven year the medical staff graciously and skillfully helped them say goodbye to a beloved pet who was a three legged family member.  It was tearful but peaceful and they were able to be with him as he slipped away … as Sasha  affirmed in that moment, “to another plane of existence... but the friendship remains." It will feel very strange without Max’s presence... especially now because in the last two years of his life he would sleep every night up their bed – and on his last night he was joined by both cats.  It is almost as if they all knew this was a final gathering. John’s final observations are those that I really wanted to share with you - my readers.  From Max, we might all learn some of the lessons that dogs are brought into our lives to teach:  wag more, bark less, be willing to forgive and to console, be joyfully grateful for the moment,  and be enthusiastic for each new day.   And even if you don’t catch the squirrel, it was the effort that mattered.

The March issue of Psychological Science reported a study that found the happiest participants had twice as many substantive conversations and one-third as much small talk as the unhappiest. Scientists at the University of Tucson and Washington University discovered that meaningful and deep conversations are a critical differentiators between happy and unhappy people. Yahoo— here’s validation for what I have always believed and spoken about in my book: Talk Ain’t ’Cheap. It’s Priceless. It’s the same premise that underlies the Conversation Fire Starter Guides that can be downloaded to support Gifts from the Mountain. So, forget the Tweets and the Pings. Try eyeballing at best or phoning at least a colleague or friend and see how much happier you can feel if you actually engage in meaningful conversations.

Just back from Washington DC and the awarding of the Congressional Gold Medal. The actual ceremony will be broadcast tonight on CSPAN and has been picked up by all major television and print media. But what you won't see is the Remembrance Ceremony held the day before to honor the 38 women who died in the course of duty as WASP-Women Air Force Service Pilots. Because they were not "official" military, there were no benefits, no gold stars, no flags draped over a coffin, and in at least one case, their fellow WASP passed a hat to send the body home. On Tues, March 9, 2011, hundreds of us stood at the base of the Air Force Memorial. From its hilltop vantage, we looked over the Pentagon and out in the distance to Arlington Cemetery and the Washington Monument. The WASP who could attend were in wheel chairs and walkers--each with their personal military escort. The sky was radiant blue and the stainless steel spires of this Air Force Monument sculpture evoked a clear vision of jet streams hanging in the sky. In quiet, the flags of every branch of the service and our nation's flag were solemnly carried in. A clear voice began singing the Star Spangled Banner and before the second stanza, across the sky came four Air Force jets, peeling off in the "missing man" formation. I sobbed. As each woman's name was read, a military official placed a rose next to a wreath. Taps were sounded and in that moment--some 65 years' later--closure came to these aviators who raced across the sky in service of their country. Amen.

Researchers have been looking at what happens to our bodies and brains when we walk in woods, in the mountains or by the sea. This study is called ecopsychology. I didn’t make it up!  The Japanese have been studying this for years! Results? People do better on tests involving memory or attention after trekking through the woods than after walking in a city. People have increased levels of physical and mental energy as well as a greater sense of well being after walking along an outdoor path beside a stream. It gives your multitasking brain a break. Time slows down. Stress levels are reduced. Blood pressure and heart rate subside. In short… get up and out (side) for great benefit. If you can't get out to walk in the mountains, consider purchasing my book Gifts From The Mountain!

Most of the time, Seth Godin is a pretty smart guy at pointing out fallacies in thinking and performance. He gave away books to show the power of viral marketing and purple cows. He taught us that small is now big. He proclaimed why marketers are liars. But I struggle with his latest blog that seems to imply big meetings and events are bogus. He said events are a huge waste of time, talent and treasure. I agree IF—and this is  a big IF: If the meeting does not bring people together in meaningful ways for actually conversations… If it is nothing but grandstanding for a CEO with bells and whistles… If it will not generate buzz, enthusiasm, and understanding for a new product… Then  by all means - forget it. However, human beings want to gather. There is nothing like the immediacy of looking into someone’s eyes, of experiencing a powerful message together, of shaking hands, of batting around ideas in the give and take that is so much more real than stilted chat rooms. I’ve seen major breakthroughs when a huge room of people realize they have similar issues... when  a powerful speaker engages audience’s minds and sends them way thinking in new ways... and when a group of sales folks create their own American Idol competition to compose a song for a new product advertisement.  Laughter, interaction, and real time conversation cement loyalty and commitment. Just can’t see that happening with “frequent, cheap communication.” It’s why I wrote the book, Talk Ain’t Cheap-It’s Priceless. Your thoughts?

Forget the emoticons and the BTW – shorthand of texting.  Nearly half of employers say they expect college grads to be able to do more. As to what skills they look for in potential hires, effective oral and written communications ranked the highest for 89% of those surveyed.  Second- critical thinking and analytical reasoning skills were chosen  by 81%. So let me ask everyone holding a job right now: how would you rate your skills? When was the last time you critically really looked at your emails or the report you filed?  Can you stand in front of a team and clearly, concisely  present ideas? There are a host of young grads waiting in the wings to take OUR job if you can’t meet the expectations of your leader.  Experience is a fabulous bonus but if you can’t relay effective messages – beware. As for up-and-coming grads, don’t get caught up into thinking that Tweets and chats are the only tool for getting across an idea. Better take a writing class and a speech class. It will give you the leg up when the time comes.

Employees have been downsized, laid off, given reduced benefits, forced to work longer and longer hours without additional pay.  Will anyone be surprised when thousands of these employees ditch their unhappy work circumstances as soon as the economy shows a strong recovery?  Anyone who has read the news can see that many companies treated employees miserably when they had the balance of power in their favor.  What happens when the balance shifts and employees become the ones in control?  According to a survey by CareerBuilder and Robert Half International as many as 45 percent of participants plan on changing jobs and/or industries when the economy swings back to the positive as it always does.  This is when companies will really feel the pain as a glut of angry workers march out the doors and the organization is left with huge recruiting and training fees to replace them.  When will corporate America realize that the only truly valuable asset they have is their staff?  That day of reckoning may be coming soon.