We’re rapidly approaching the last leg of 2016. You might be jumping to reach quotas, spinning furiously to complete projects, and reading emails until the wee hours of the night. Question: what will you REALLY have accomplished if tomorrow never comes? Resiliency isn’t about gritting it out for the next round as much as it is about showing up for THIS round. This is not a question about dying. It’s a matter about living.  I wrote the following poem as a reminder for me. In fact, I made it into a bookmark and had a number of them printed. Like too many things, I promptly put it in a file drawer and forgot it. The Universe decided I needed to find it again.  Might also be true for you. IN THE NOW By Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE Today is now upon us. Today is all we’ve got. This minute holds eternity, but oh our minds are fraught With thoughts of what we should’ve done, mistakes of yesterday Recalling wrongs, reliving deeds and words that went astray. Or else we go through motions while our thoughts zoom far ahead Of things to do, of meetings hence, of possibilities we dread. We eat our food in hurry. We kiss our loves in haste. We blink at dawn. We glance at moon. There is NO time to waste. Our calendar is crammed with future things we HAVE to do. We make our list; we see its length. Our day is never through. And when each year is over, we dismay at all that’s passed. We shake our head and wonder, “How did time go by so fast?” We cannot slow the march of time and yet—there is this plan: If we would live in present NOW, we’d find a peace a hand. Be present, fully present in each action that we do. Stay mindful, fully mindful of the life around us too. Let the future be the visions but THIS MOMENT counts and how! Eternity is in it. May we learn to live in NOW. If you’d like a bookmark, let me know, ASAP.  NOW!  Email me at Eileen@eileenmcdargh.com.  I have exactly three left. If there is enough interest, we can reprint, laminate and sell!

Let me pose this riddle: What can curve at the corners, droop in lopsided fashion, stretch to great extremes, crunch noses into cherries, crinkle eyes into almonds and turn rain into sunshine? What responds when your heart is breaking, when Irish eyes are doing it, when you want the whole world to join you? Here are some further clues: On Mona Lisa, it's lacquered; for politicians it is often plastered. Howdy Doody puppeted it.Emmett Kelly sobbed it. Give up? The answer is “a smile”! Having traveled throughout the world, I find that a smile is part of universal language that breaks down barriers, gets people to help you, and can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. This facial expression is shared regardless of our culture. It is one of our common, human denominators.S. ome scientists take it quite seriously, claiming that the upward turn of lips is actually a primal, silent scream.  Personally, I think they're wrong. I don't think a smile is any ONE thing. Consider what a smile opens for inspection: There's the plastic smile, the sickly smile, the I'm-smiling-now-in-front-of-these-people-but-wait-until-we-get-home-smile. Or picture the teasing smile, the mocking smile, the knee-slapping grin. Recall the dentifrice ad smile, the snaggle-tooth smile, the gold inlaid smile, the electric warmth lover smile, the wistful grandmother smile, the dimpled baby smile.  Why there are enough smiles to mandate writing a lexicon for understanding! B ut for the moment, bask your thoughts in the last smile that you received - the one that you answered, that made you feel like you had been noticed and accepted just for being YOU, that maybe even made you straighten your shoulders or skip or whistle.  Pretty powerful reflex! I'd like to think we have real facial power that can become proactive rather than reactive.  We don't have to wait for that feel-good moment when a store clerk, a friend, a passer-by, or even the stranger in the elevator flips a smile in our direction.  WE can be the senders.  Can't figure out why we hoard such a precious thing as an I-care-for-you-fellow-human smile. Too often we're like misers, giving away the most meager coin in our rusty treasure chest. When you experience some days of gloom and doom, high rates and low expectations, moral majority and immoral minority, what a difference it could make if we unleashed the power of a genuine smile!  What a transformation might arise if we answered that instinctive (and probably primal) impulse which is often pushed to the bottom of our gut and just for one week—nay, even one day—turned a real megawatt smile on our world. I'll bet OPEC would pay richly to tap this energy source!

I have a confession to make: I never learned to type. Who would have known that in today’s keyboard literate world, I am functionally illiterate.  It’s pretty pathetic when a 6-year-old watches me peck away with three fingers and gasps, “You don’t know how to type!!” To make matters worse, my little guy goes to the keyboard, opens up a browser and takes me on a site with an animated Scottish goat as a professor who is teaching children how to type! Sadly, I lost the link and it’s possible someone got the goat. Spell check doesn’t help either as many of my words aren’t spelled wrong. But they are patently incorrect. Amazing what a difference one letter can make: Astray: ashtray Live:  love Now:  new Precious: previous House:  hose Not: nit You get the idea. It actually can create some very funny sentences but also some very, ummm, inappropriate lines. Now you know one of my many faults. Because I believe honesty is the best policy, please let me know if you receive a rather strange missive. Allow me to correct it. It would be best (nest, rest, test, etc.) if I did! Hope you enjoy this clog.

Study the best seller lists of the past few years and you'll notice titles that range from Peter Lynch's "Beating the Street" to Thomas Moore's "Care of the Soul: How to Find Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life." This juxtaposition captures the dilemma facing all of us in the business world.  How does one swim with the sharks, squeeze the margins of an angst-filled financial world, and still lead a life of wholeness in spirit, mind and body? Nor is this a new question. Marsilio Ficino's 15th Century treatise, "The Book of Life," sought to help the Medicis and their merchant counterparts create a renaissance of spirit amid the draining demands of commerce and a new creature called capitalism. Whether a Renaissance banker or the CEO of a high tech conglomerate, whether a guild master of stonework or a manager of information services, the issue is still one of balance. But balance is not an equal measure of work, love, prayer and play. Nor is it a state that can be achieved and frozen in form for all time. Rather, this amorphous thing called "balance" is an on-going, deliberate set of decisions that make the journey of life much like the metaphor of sailing. Consider the single person sailboat. When there is much wind, the little boat appears off balance, moving forward at an angle, sails filled to bursting and the sailor leaning back over the craft, with one hand on the sheet and toes hooked under the railing. What allows the sailor to stay in the boat is that he is connected to all the important parts of that craft. When the wind shifts, so too must the sailor. Life is also like that. We give ourselves tremendous mental stress when we think that life must balance. Having a different image allows us to see where we might be out of control. Briefly, there will always be competing and unequal demands upon our time... much like the tug of the tiller or the push of the wind. Depending upon the course we have chosen for ourselves, we respond to these demands. We might decide to change direction, seek harbor, or give full rein to the beating waves and blustery wind. The quality of these decisions depends upon the direction of our sailboat, the prevailing winds, the depth of the water, and the need for overhaul and repair. Direction refers to the goals, created by our values, which we have established. The wind and the depth of the water represent those people and events, outside our control, which make demands upon our time. Lastly, overhaul and repair stands for the need to cease and desist, to nurture and renew our physical and spiritual self, and to re-examine the course we are sailing. If we consider sailing as a metaphor for the "balance" we all seek along life's journey, then what is needed are navigational aids. What could help all of us on such a journey is a process, a formula, whereby we might take stock of our decisions, weighing them against our personal values, goals, and physical requirements. Since we are all bound by the same relentless 24-hour day, we would be best served by looking at not how much we can cram into the blocks called "time", but how wisely do we choose what we put into our finite day.

Leadership means different things to different people and different things in different situations.  Leadership is not an exact science but there are some things all leaders doing and some things they should avoid. During the best and worst of times leaders should avoid these five mistakes. Mistake #1:  Become reactive and reactionary. There is truth in the old saying "Respond in haste. Regret in sorrow." This is also known as the "ready, fire, aim" approach of leadership. When leaders fail to gather the information and critically assess the long-term impact of decisions, severe errors are made. Consider the Big Three auto executives who knee-jerked their way on private planes to ask for a handout without ever having a plan. Now that's a bonehead mistake. First, stop any action and breathe. Think long-term strategy. Be cautious. Be proactive. Test out the decisions by saying, "If this… then this…" so you can try it on for size. Mistake #2:  Huddle with only the corporate folks. First, answers are often found at the floor level, not at the ceiling. Involve everyone in the search for efficiencies and innovations. Engage everyone in a common vision and mission. Besides, if managers tell employees what to do, you've taken away all sense of responsibility and ownership. How refreshing to have the Obama team now posting discussions on the internet and seeking input from a variety of people with differing viewpoints. Building transparency goes a long way for building trust and making us all feel we are part of the solution. Mistake #3: Cut. Cut. Cut. No one EVER downsized their way to greatness. Wholesale termination of employees without thinking about the cost of underserved customers and too much work done by too few people or canceling the meeting without realizing that this is the time TO GATHER and candidly talk are just two examples of cuts that could have been done with a scalpel instead of a hacksaw.  Substitute Jello for Jamoca Fudge and Two Buck Chuck for Dom Perignon but bring people together.  As for layoffs, if your organization or department can handle this—bring everyone together and spread out the facts. One very smart leader found that employees were willing to reduce work schedules, work half-time, and job share rather than have members of their team terminated. For more ideas, read Responsible Restructuring: Creative and Profitable Alternatives to Layoffs by Wayne Cascio, professor of management at the University of Colorado-Denver Business School. Mistake #4: Go after new clients and customers. Unless your current customers have vanished because of poor quality or service, these can be your best source of new revenue.  Ask how you can turn them into champions of what you provide. Make them feel special and valuable. I've noticed that my bank is now making every effort to thank me for my business, to call me by name, to answer any request with a "no problem" attitude.  Sure, they should have been doing that all along but—better late than never. Besides, they've already got all my money in the safe. I think they'd like to keep it. Mistake #5:  Do more with less. We've been hearing this for years. In my consulting practice, I have often found that much of the "more" is work that provides no value at the end of the day. Scrutinize every process; get rid of the sacred cows and the egos. Translate every action into a dollar value. In one organization, we found that senior executives were tripping over each other to put their two cents into every PowerPoint presentation that was made. It was a waste of executive talent, made each project longer than necessary, disempowered the employee creating the presentation, and actually used up some $15,000 worth of senior management time! BONUS Mistake:  Buy into pessimism. It's a huge mistake we ALL make when we let the news of the day finds us hiding under the covers, chopping up the furniture for kindling and searching for recipes made with bread and water.  What we have here is an opportunity to really consider what is most important, to spend time at work that is meaningful, and to nurture relationships that matter. We have an opportunity to reclaim our reputation, our integrity, and our future. Not to do this would be our biggest mistake. To condense the wisdom of a Hopi Elder, "This is the Eleventh Hour…and we are the ones we've been waiting for."

In our frantic, 24/7 world we often become consumed with our work. We border our lives by the four walls of an office, a home, and even that metallic case we call a car. Ugh—commuting! To refresh our souls, our inner spirits need air and color and peace.  I look to the  outdoors.  Just the trickle of water in a fountain as I sit in my cushioned chair brings a sense of calm. There’s my Kwan Yin statue which looks down at the pansies and the petunias. Her very aura reminds me to breathe. And what about you? Is there room for a gazebo that can let your family picnic outside? Or perhaps a garden swing that just melts away the tension of too much too fast?  Can you open the door of your living room, your art studio, your home office and invite in the smells of rich soil, sweet alyssum, and spicy marigolds? It beats a spray can of air freshener any day. Or perhaps, you might consider gifting someone with an “outdoor” item to support their inner life. My precious friend is battling MS. Her great joy is the garden her children planted. From her picture window, she sees color and green designed to bloom in every season. She tells me that the wind chimes  I sent hang in an arbor and just bring music to her soul.  So little I can do for her. But what a lot it means. It’s time. Move beyond four walls. You’ll be glad you did.

Just returned from a week above 10,500 feet: sleeping under the stars and clouds, battling mosquitoes and temps down to 25 degrees at night, plus gorgeous vistas and wildflowers. This year, while I wanted to go, I felt tremendously pressured by the economy and pending work NOT to go. After all it would be 7 days without cell phone and email. What if someone needed me? Alas, no one did. Or let me reframe that—people figured out “stuff” on their own. In the meantime, I figured out “stuff” that might very well help me cope with the current times: No one should travel alone. In today’s crazy world, we NEED other people to share the decisions, the sights, the laughter, and the burdens. Who travels with you? Who has your back when the going gets rough? Don’t push the river. We crossed many a cold, rushing river this trip. I am not adept at standing upright and hopping across boulders that fit legs far longer than mine. The very force of the water intimidates me. But it is what it is. How often do I want something to be other than what it is? I push against reality instead of just accepting and leaning into it. Surrender to the now. How easy it was to suddenly find myself thinking about the work that had to be done when I returned. Every time my mind went there, I mentally pulled myself back. I realized I could do nothing about anything until I returned. NOW was all I could deal with. Great lesson to carry with me back at the base camp I call my office. And so... on your vacation, what lessons will you learn?

Right now, pay attention to what you receive as email autoresponders and voice mail messages.  You might be reading or hearing words that imply the party has gone away for vacation. Somehow August heralds the final hurrah before the seriousness of school, resumed work, and even the heavy harvest of produce. But what happens if we can’t take off in August?  What happens in the other 11 months of the year? If resiliency is all about creating energy to thrive regardless of the chaos around us, here are five HOT tips to “vacation” regardless of the season. Remember the root of vacation is “vacate”. For a brief period of time, vacate - empty out - your mind from the worry of what is undone or regrets about the past. Get the smartphone app (free) Relax Melodies. You can select from a series of sounds and mix and match melodies. There’s a timer in the app. Start with five minutes and do nothing but sit comfortably and listen. Breathe. Vacate! I bet you will set the timer for a longer period of time on future “vacations”. Find an outdoor concert of music that makes your heart sing and your body sway. Last week, we walked to the park near our house and flung our beach towel and ice chest down on the grass along with a couple hundred people. Songs from ABBA flew from the stage. In a heart beat many of us jumped to our feet and danced with abandon. The three year-olds ran around while the 53 year-olds sang the words and danced in barefoot abandon. Nothing was in my mind but the sheer joy of the moment. Have a picnic! Now, here’s the challenge: It is to be as simple a picnic as possible. No fancy utensils, plates, glasses. Finger food works. Chopsticks. And low cost. Why simple? Once you realize how little you need, the pressure of having “stuff” begin to go away. You are vacating — making a space — for what really matters. Throw out. Consider this a variation on the theme of number 3. How many beach towels do you really need? Worn out shoes? Too many black jackets. Four screwdrivers. Books you will never read. Create a space. Make empty room in closets, shelves, drawers, and desktops.  Vacate. Vacate. Vacate.\ Stop at roadside stands. Just stare at the colors. Imagine the rain rinsing dirt from the peppers. Imagine bees paying homage to juicy peaches. Buy something. Ask to rinse it off at the hose. And then sit under a tree and eat it. My brother and sister and I relished this “vacation” while driving the back roads of the Amish Country in Lancaster County, PA. What do you do to vacate — to create — an empty place to regroup and re-energize? I would love to know! P.S. My siblings and I went to PA to visit York, PA where we buried my mother a year ago. Some of you, my dear readers, will remember my story about the monarch butterfly that appeared in my California garden on January 28 - the day she died.  Not surprisingly, another monarch appeared in the garden of the B&B where we stayed in York.  Life IS a series of moments.

Leaders are responsible to lead themselves and others while doing the often over-whelming job of managing a business.  The only certainty about business is that change is inevitable and leaders need to step up and teach their employees resiliency skills.  A few ways they might do this include: Helping employees discover and focus on their strengths while minimizing any tendency to mope over their failures. Teaching employees to keep things in perspective by modeling reframing of what is possible and an opportunity. In short, be the change you wish to see - a resilient change master! Encouraging the development of strong and positive relationships and support systems. Developing opportunities for employees to vent frustrations AND to then look for solutions. The response, “You’re lucky to have a job.” is the most negative thing a manager can say!

If investing is only about money in the bank or in Wall Street, you are short-changing yourself about building a better life and a better world. That’s the premise behind THE RESILIENT INVESTOR , a provocative book that maps out investment choices for all your assets— assets that are much more than ownership of “things” and the balance in a bank or fund. The authors, Hal Brill, Michael Kramer and Christopher Peck, are managing partners of Natural Investment, a B Corporation that specialize in sustainable, responsible investment. Their Resilient Investment Map (RIM) explores three strategies: Close to Home, Sustainable Global Economy and Evolutionary. Each strategy also explores thee asset types: Personal/Social, Tangible, and Financial. For example, the Close to Home strategy invites you to explore first your personal and social goals. Think about it. Thoreau said it first, “The first wealth is health”.  How are you investing—i.e. spending time and potentially money—to care for your body, mind and spirit?  What are the choices you make for your community, your relationships? Tangible goals that are close to home look at your home, the local infrastructure, energy systems, and local shopping.  It’s not only the “stuff” you own or have access to, but might you consider “investing” in a shared economy, buying from local co-ops, encouraging wise use of water and land so as to create a healthy ecosystem. Close to Home financial strategies involve investing in a local bank, a credit union, or investment clubs. While this might sound simplistic, THE RESILIENT INVESTOR also explores four potential global scenarios and how one moves into the future with a willingness to expect change and ambiguity. There’s much here to chew on. It’s an easy read but the concept deserve your brainpower.

Wasting human energy depletes resiliency resources. Consider this: Information overload equates to a staggering $1.2 trillion in wages wasted each year according to a six year study of over 20,000 information workers. Time to call a halt to this amazing abuse: Insist that the “reply all” email button be carefully considered before selecting “send”. Just because information can be sent, do not assume it has value to the recipient. Establish a boundary for sending and receiving emails. Being on call 24/7 leaves workers exhausted and frazzled. Think of a time frame for rest and renewal. If you are a manager, practice what you preach and model the boundaried - behavior. Get professional help for colleagues who seem addicted to connecting. Fifty-four percent of all professional indicate they are often frustrated by colleagues who huddle over their smart-phones during important meetings. Make a conscious effort to refrain from interruptions and to ask colleagues to respect your time. Workflow that is interrupted by email, “dings”, IMs or calls results in reduced output and effectiveness. Create interruption management strategies and share them with all. Use the “IS IT NECESSARY” question before calling or attending a meeting. If it is merely for sharing information, make sure that it is data that CANNOT be handled via succinct, bulleted correspondence. Ask if the right people are at the meeting? Too often, the wrong people come because of formality and standard office protocol. Seek good trainers who can deliver targeted programs on how to handle email, and teach a methodology for storing and retrieving documents. This is a new communication world and old methods don’t work. Don’t forget that meeting management is a learned skill. Dick and Emily Axelrod’s book, Let’s Stop Meeting Like This is a great resource to help workers learn just how to conduct effective and efficient meetings. Note that effective and efficient are two distinct outcomes.

I can still hear Taps floating across the Pennsylvania countryside. I remember clutching the U.S. flag, so carefully folded into a triangle, while tears streamed down my face as the Air Force officer said, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation…” Mom had been a WWII Women’s Air Force Service Pilot (WASP) yet it took almost 30 years for the government to give WASPs honorary discharge papers. For Mom, it meant she could have a flag on her coffin. A year before this ceremony, my stepmother held a similar flag and wept at Dad’s funeral. He served in WWII and the Korean War and had life been different, would have been a career soldier. He loved the flag. Today, young Josh is in Afghanistan, flying his Air Force jet as he tries to protect troops withdrawing from this confusing, conflicted country. He has already lost members of his squad and wonders if those of us at home even know what he is doing. In years to come, far too many wounded warriors will struggle with loss of limbs, PTSD, and difficult employment opportunities. The past. The present. The future. Mom and Dad were taken care of and supported. For Josh and our wounded warriors - we owe them more than a parade and a medal. In any budget considerations, social services, and assistance, these men and women must come first in all decisons. Look into what donations you can make. I am taken with Fisher House Foundation which provides housing to military families as they receive medical treatment. To all my brothers and sisters in uniform: thank you!!! P.S. Check any non-profit through Charity Navigator to find organizations you can trust. (We want money to go to the right purpose and not into large salaries!)